Middle-Aged Men in Bars

a man sitting by at a bar with a glass of alcohol in his hand

When I was in my 30’s and 40’s I had lots of single friends who spent an inordinate amount of time in bars.

We were all in shape, health conscious, and forever hoping to one day stumble upon someone who shared our journey.

It wasn’t that we necessarily expected anything monumental to occur, but we couldn’t preclude the possibility, which was the real hook.

Then down the road we met “the one” and the bar days were over.

For many there was marriage, children and career which went on for 20 or 30 years until it all fell apart and they were back at the same bars, hunting the same fantasies.

Understand that older men don’t spend all their time with hookers in Aspen, Monaco, and the Swiss Alps – or have an interest in attending endless galas and benefits.

Many of us do what we’ve always done: Work, go to the gym, and, at the end of the day, find ourselves alone.

I know it sounds weird, but it’s true.

So now what?

Are we supposed to sit home and read history books about dead people?

We may not look like people half our age, but we share similar hopes and dreams where lust and love are concerned.

I know this is irksome, provoking queasiness in the young, but as long as we are alive and well, this is what you can expect from us.

When you’re older you’ll understand.

You might also notice that the very second one of your buddies meets the woman of his dreams, he’ll disappear from your life like an exploding star, never to be seen or heard from again until his relationship fails, at which point your phone will start ringing off the hook at age 50.

See, unlike women, men tend to go to ground and hoard, while they find a middle ground between commitment and an exit strategy.

This is why bars these days are filled men of all ages, your existential nightmares notwithstanding.