Every Woman Over 50 Should Practice Bisexuality [According to Huffington Post Article]

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A 2014 article in the Huffington Post written by Arlene Schindler suggests that older women should explore their bisexuality as an alternative to their oftentimes frustrating experiences with men.

One path is referred to as “affectional bonding” or AB.

No wonder they outlive us.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arlene-schindler-/cuddle-parties_b_4800176.html

The findings of the latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (NATSAL) reveals that the number of women reporting same-sex partners has increased from 1.8% to 7.9% over the past 20 years. Sexual lifestyles in Britain have changed substantially in the past 60 years, with changes in behavior seeming to be greater in women than men, most notably the continuation of sexual activity into later life.

After enough time passes and older women find themselves unable to establish relationships with quality, age appropriate men, “affectional bonding” begins to make sense.

According to the article, most women are already naturally bi-curious when it comes to sex; 60 percent were sexually attracted to other women; 45 percent had kissed a woman and 50 percent had fantasies about the same sex. This suggests that women may be more capable of finding people attractive, no matter what orientation they claim. Additionally, it becomes more pronounced as they get older. Approaching mid-life, “AB” makes a lot of sense.

And now, for the anti-male punchline:

Ladies, tired of the hairy chest? Try the softer touch. Has erectile dysfunction got you down and disappointed? Try reframing your options. With affectional bonding, enjoy everything you ever wanted without the messy clean-up.

You can read the rest of the article for yourself and draw your own conclusions.

OVERVIEW

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you know by now that nothing is a panacea.

Single-hood is tough because you feel emotionally disconnected from the world. It can drain your spirit, fracture your faith in humanity, jade your perceptions.

But the same can be said of toxic relationships.

So we struggle to find balance no matter where it takes us.

Having said this, for men in my particularly peer group, I suggest you contact your attorney and investment counselor before doing anything where the consequences are more expensive than a transient escape.

What’s So Gross About Madonna?

47636953.cachedIn women, experience isn’t a carbon credit for lost time.

There’s very little to say about this that hasn’t already been said a thousand times, so I’ll just post the link from The Daily Beast, written by Samantha Allen.

You can also type “Madonna” into the search bar on this site for further commentary on the Queen of Pop or whatever.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/04/14/what-s-so-gross-about-madonna-getting-older-it-seems.html

Successful Older Men Don’t “Choose” Younger Women

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As covered in my new release, Urban Dystrophy [@Amazon], older men don’t point a finger and “choose” who they date, unless the woman in question is a prostitute with a voracious pimp.

There are no guns to anyone’s head,  no coercion, no blackmail…and more often than not, no voodoo.

There are simply two people standing in the same space with motives of their own.

But no matter what those motives happen to be, women call the shots. Period. End of discussion.

The last time I felt deceived into believing that I called the shots was back in my 20’s, fueled by piss, vinegar and testosterone in equal measure.

Since that time, things have changed…for the better, frankly.

To say the very least, I’m happy not to be a woman in her 50’s scouring the earth for Prince Charming.

With this in mind, author Renee Fisher recently penned a tongue-in-cheek article titled, “Why Older Men Should Date Younger Women.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-fisher/why-older-men-should-date-younger-women_b_6938060.html

In it she posits 10 reasons why such paradigms “work.”

I will list them and follow with a reality-as-I-know-it discussion.

While I don’t have academic credentials working with people involved in age gap relationships, I have at least 3 doctorates in practical experience.

Before I start, allow me to offer some perspective on where Ms. Fisher is coming from…

She begins with “Women over the age of 50 have been complaining ever since their 50th birthday parties that men their age prefer younger women.”

This is what’s referred to as a set-up, as in you’re being set up to see things from a certain perspective, especially if you’re a female Baby Boomer who’s dating experiences mirror hers.

So here goes:

1. Younger women are universally hot and want sex all the time, except when they are reminding you to take your meds, cooking you great meals or sitting with you in front of the TV, watching all your favorite sports teams in action.

COMMENTS: While it is true that young women are universally hot, it has been my experience that sex happens at the same frequency it does in age-relevant relationships. I might also add that i am usually the one reminding the younger women in my life to take their meds, to learn how to cook, and to seek counseling for texting addiction. Nothing’s a panacea. 

2. Younger women can explain all of the latest music, social media trends and technology to you in a way you can completely understand and appreciate.

COMMENTS: My girlfriend is a computer geek, and while I’m fluent in most geek-speak, getting her to explain something is like pulling teeth from a dragon.

3. Younger women would prefer to be in bed by 9 P.M., rather than going out to a trendy club.

COMMENTS: In spite of the obvious satire here, the younger women I’ve known are into health and fitness and enjoy evenings in front of computers, not bartenders.

4. Younger women take a sincere interest in learning everything they can about the ’50s and ’60s and ’70s.

COMMENTS: Why would I care whether or not someone took an interest in my generation’s formative years? All I have to do is keep an eye on my classic rock collection before it ends up in someone else’s classic rock collection.

5. Younger women love to give massages (while they are naked), apply medicinal salves and ointments to you (while they are naked), and are masters at cleaning your ears and cutting your hair (while they are naked)

COMMENTS: The only women of any age I know who do this are paid in cash.

6. Younger women are attracted to men who are paying alimony and/or child support.

COMMENTS: Younger women are attracted to men who can afford to pay their bills, all of them.

7. Younger women become easily aroused by nose and ear hair and reruns of “Gilligan’s Island.”

COMMENTS: Like women of all ages, grooming is something everyone expects to the same degree, and the last I checked, my girlfriend and I watch the same television shows. 

8. Younger women know all the latest clothing styles, but prefer men who wear shorts, black socks and Crocs.

COMMENTS: At this writing my entire wardrobe consists of John Varvatos, Vince and Prada. 

9. Younger women are universally hot and stay that way, no matter what.

COMMENTS: By the time I’m 80, my girlfriend will still be incredibly hot. So yes, she’s spot-on here. 

10. The most compelling reason for the older man/younger woman scenario is the maturation rate of women vs men.

COMMENTS: The suggestion that sexual attraction to younger women somehow denotes immaturity is the same reason our planet hosts billions of human inhabitants.

In this sense, yea, we should probably all be in therapy.

~~~

“When you live as long as affluent men do, as well as they do, you can’t help but expect more out of life. A successful career is one thing, but just because you can afford beachfront property doesn’t mean you want to spend it with someone who reminds you that one day soon you’ll be buried underneath it.” Urban Dystrophy, Chapter 25, May/December.

Is Madonna Really Wearing a Mouthful of Grills?

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3336303/Madonna-sports-chic-fedora-bizarre-teeth-grills-enjoying-Spanish-Thanksgiving-lookalike-son-Rocco-duo-sport-hair-style.html

No one would accuse Madonna of being a slouch, resting on her laurels and so on…

She works incessantly, travels the world tour after tour after grueling tour.

But no matter how much Madonna tours, she is still 57, not 25.

Hello memo.

The harder she tries to be chronologically seamless, the farther away she lands.

Racing with the devil is a fool’s errand someone who loves her obviously neglected to mention.

Grills? Seriously?

If my 83-year-old mother wore grills, I’d have her committed.

But for Madonna, it’s an unintended tragic pantomime she can afford to ignore.

Delusion, after all, isn’t against the law.

But even Madonna can’t buy back the bad press.

Sadly, she’s become an embarrassment to the Baby Boom.

Not her accomplishments, not her work ethic, not her contribution to the world of Pop.

But everything else.

If my generation’s greatest fear is maintenance of personal dignity, Madonna is our crucible.

So again, it’s all about money, honey, delusion notwithstanding.

The Most Annoying People In The Gym […and a few good ones thrown in for good measure]

Old-Guy-LiftingI found this article on t-nation.com about gym etiquette amusing, so I thought I’d share it with you.

Most of it targets the behavior of all age demographics, so I’ve slightly twisted it in the direction of the Baby Boom.

Many are cliches pushed to the extreme, but many cliches are extreme without having to be pushed at all.

Here’s the article:

https://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/10-most-annoying-people-in-the-gym

~~~

1] The Misplaced Crossfitter

After enough testosterone supplementation, many Baby Boomers – both men and women – re-emerge as adolescents and hit the gym like banshees, attempting complex exercises like box jumps and weighted wall balls they see performed by people half their age on Youtube. They attempt to perform them publicly as if no one will notice the sad realities of their efforts. I witnessed one 50-something guy jumping up and down like a Wallaby in what appeared to be a trance. When I asked him what he was doing he just smiled and hopped away. I discovered later on that he just received his first testosterone injections a week ago, and like someone stuck in Purgatory for 30 years, was euphoric over his discovery of a portal back to planet earth.

2] The Phone Zombie

Many older guys use gyms as workplaces. I’m still not convinced they aren’t suffering some psychiatric disability, the whole thing a pantomime played out using a dead phone. Relevance is found in some of the most unlikely places. Whatever the issue, they are certainly consistent, and therefore, memorable. In fact, offering even the vaguest description will elicit a knowing response. In deference to one man in particular, he is having an actual conversation with someone on the other end of the line, but he is so often on the phone that he is now clinically deaf.

3] The Newbie Steroid User

Most of these people begin a steroid regimen to drop body fat without having to spend hours in a gym. They also hope to revitalize their flagging sex lives which certain physicians’ promises of restoring them in exchange for $30,000 a year. Most of these people drop out of sight when their PSA levels rival the national debt and/or they lose a pile in a market downturn.

4] Just About Anyone Doing a Kettlebell Swing

Most older men have no idea what the hell they’re doing in the gym. Without help from a personal trainer, they are like cattle on the edge of a cliff in a hurricane. They’re painful to watch and there is always the temptation to offer guidance. But it has been my experience that guidance is often perceived as a kind of narcissistic wound to men of hubris and resources accustomed to people’s fear and respect in the workplace. Physicians who should know better are some of the worst offenders, as usual. I could get into the irony here.

One old dude threw a cable grip in my direction.

5] The Dumbbell Rack Blocker

I am guilty of this. There are times when I use one end of a dumbbell rack to perform single-arm pulls. But I am also aware of who’s around me. If I see someone lingering near the rack, I’ll move. The point is that many gym newbies [read: older guys who’ve spent their lives in offices and are now on gym floors at the insistence of their primary care physicians] are slow on the uptake, and even indignant towards anyone expecting them to budge.

6] The Bros

I work out around a bunch of older men and women who were – at one time or another – gym addicted. Most of us are now in recovery, but this still doesn’t stop us from spending two hours a day enabling one another. We make a lot of noise when the weights get heavy, but the experience is cathartic, and, in our minds, fine as long as we don’t technically kill anyone.

7] Mr. Octa Set

Some guys attempt to commandeer a 1000 square foot area of the gym in order to perform a particular routine. Most of them are the usual suspects: Affluent and entitled Boomers who are used to having things their way. Fortunately for people like myself, I am comfortable ignoring their boundaries and leading them back to therapy without much in the way of tact.

8] The Crappy Personal Trainer

At my health club there are a few personal trainers who spend more time discussing personal issues with their clients than training them. But this is not the fault of the trainer. When a client is will to pay $100 and hour of someone’s time, they run the show. Of course, the trainer can always fire the client, but it doesn’t make much financial sense as you can imagine. I do happen to know certain personal trainers who won’t train clients that aren’t serious, but I have found that they tend to work less hours.

9] The Talker

My gym caters to an affluent clientele, many of whom are trust fund babies who’ve never held a job, and therefore, have no concept of boundaries. The rest are either psychiatric outpatients or narcissists who’ve never seen a therapist.

10] The Creeper

True story: One day I was in the gym on the stretching mats when I noticed an older man with his junk on full display. A woman next to me happened to notice it at the same moment and immediately deflected her young daughter’s attention avoiding what would inevitably become full blown PTSD. Anyway, I’m not certain whether such men are exhibitionists or just plain senile. I can envision a police interrogation where the officers just shake their heads when the man starts babbling incoherently about the stock market when questioned about a sexually perverse act. Long story short, I reported the incident to the management and I’m told that he now wears undergarments.

 

Okay, so here are three of my own Pet Peeves:

 

 11] Old Ladies With Too Much Perfume

This one is self-explanatory, but thankfully easily remedied over a private discussion with management. I have, at times, felt almost enveloped in what smells like scented mustard gas as my lungs cry out for mercy at the handiwork of a mortician.

12] People Who Read Newspapers While Performing Leg Presses

At more upscale health clubs, this is a commonplace practice. The idea is to be in the gym as directed by one’s primary care physician while also getting a little of what the client wants, which is to not be there at all.

13] People With Antisocial Personality Disorder

Maybe it’s just me, but I see health clubs as urban ecosystems that run according to the sum of their constituent parts. Saying hello is not going to kill anyone. It’s common courtesy if nothing else in an environment filled with people you see every day.

With this in mind, there is one particularly cross older man with a distended midsection that he attempts to conceal with 5x t-shirts pregnant emblazoned with messages of anarchy. He never speaks, never blinks, and always stares straight ahead like a zombie zeroing in on a kill. This guy typifies APD and should be referred immediately to the nearest psychiatric facility. Thankfully, the only other people who come across even remotely this way are cross fitters who relish the outcast model.

 Okay, now for the most awesome people in the gym!

11] Elderly People

Older men and women who go to the gym religiously have the respect of everyone. I’ve never heard a single negative comment or complaint unless the person in question farts, in which case the whole age thing comes up.

12] The Quiet Beasts

Most bodybuilders I know are quiet beasts. They are men of few words [in the gym], focused, serious, and only cordial under duress. I don’t particularly like them [in the gym], but I do admire their determination.

13] Women Who Kick Ass

There is nothing more inspiring than women kicking ass next to us. Taking this a step further, I would prefer a gym filled with nothing but buff women in tights. I mean just for the inspiration and all.

14] Fat People

It’s hard to beat on a fat person when they’re in the gym trying to climb out of their bodies. It’s a Promethean task no one takes on unless their lives depend on it.

15] Injured and Disabled People

God bless these people for getting back into the world and fighting for their dignity. They’re a lesson to all of us to be thankful that a couple of inches off the waist is all we have to accomplish.

A FINAL COMMENT ON OLD PEOPLE IN THE GYM

Everyone understands the inherent grumpiness seen in the aged, but no one appreciates it. From a psychiatric perspective, you have to understand that many of these old men were once “somebody:” Heads of companies, surgeons, lawyers and so on. They had the respect of their peers and their community. No one questioned their validity, their relevance. This is why many men refuse to retire. The rest face a downhill slalom into invisibility and irrelevance and what you see in their sour demeanor is the loss of something they spent their lives building. I feel sorry for these men. While they go to the gym to stay physically relevant, they’re dead everywhere else.

What Constitutes “Wealthy” to Urban Boomers

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Living paycheck to paycheck while making a combined $500,000 a year is considered “normal.”

No Seriously.

Financial Samurai ran an article not long ago titled “Scraping by on $500,000 A Year.”

It was a good start in defining “wealth” against “expenses” in big cities.

Here’s the aforementioned article:

http://www.financialsamurai.com/scraping-by-on-500000-a-year-high-income-earners-struggling/

~~~

In any major metro area of the United States, a reasonably priced older home in a reasonably nice neighborhood [read: reasonably nice, not top of the line] starts at around $1,000,000.

Anything less is either a small condo or a tear-down.

I know, right.

In order to qualify to purchase one of these homes, you’ll need an income of approximately $300,000 no matter what anybody tells you to the contrary, including yourself.

It also warrants noting that 6000 ft. lots are priced somewhere in the $850,000 range, and with construction costs for a custom home on the same lot running about $1,200,000, you have to double your earnings.

You’ve now in over 2.1 million and haven’t forked over a single electricity bill, not to mention property taxes that will run in the $55,000 range…and I haven’t even started calculating the cost of a gold-digger.

This is why so many homes around here [and in places like, say, Beverly Hills] are held in family estates, and then gifted to offspring in the form of nest eggs.

All the kids have to do then is cover are property taxes and upkeep, which means they can get by on $250,000, as long as they don’t have kids, own $100,000 cars, or take vacations.

Hell, private school education alone rivals property taxes, so you can see where this is going.

No wonder people who earn $500,000 consider themselves upper middle class.

Of course, if they earned $500,000 in income and had 5 million in a diversified investment portfolio, then they’d most likely consider themselves upper, upper middle class.

Doing the math, they’d be looking at a yield around $400,000 on the 5 mil taxed as capital gains, and $500,000 taxed at 39%.

Now they could take three vacations and still save the $7300.00 at the end of the year.

As for Financial Samurai‘s breakdown…

FS-500K-Student-Loan

Interesting breakdown, but that “$7300” left over wouldn’t have a shot in hell of making it to the savings account for most people I know.

Why?

Because 3 vacations a year for a total of “$18,000 a year” is a joke. It’s easily twice that amount.

Round trip business class tickets alone from Houston to Los Angeles are in the $1500 range per person.

Hotel rooms in the “One king bed, no sitting area” will run $685.00 per night, with small suites starting in the $1700.00/night range at places like the Beverly Wilshire in Los Angeles.

You also must accept the fact that miscellaneous expenses are going to fall in the $1500.00 range even if you don’t happen to wander into Barney’s.

You can see where this is going.

HOW THE “AFFLUENT” SEE REAL WEALTH

The following is a letter copied verbatim from the web from a very successful couple.

While some of it may shock you, it’s representative of how many in my general demographic see real wealth.

“I have no idea how anyone could live on $500,000 a year. I make $1.0 million a year as an equity partner in a large international law firm and through real estate investing. My wife makes $1.5 million as a cosmetic surgeon. We live in DC. We have 2 kids. After all of the taxes, childcare, mortgage payments, car payments, etc., we are literally living paycheck to paycheck. Our house is about 2.5 million, nice but not exorbitant. We each drive 911s and we have a farm in the country and a house at the Eastern Shore. Again- nice, but hardly movie-star living and there are many people who have much nicer farms and shore houses than we do. I think that to live comfortably in a high priced area like DC, you really need $4 million a year. This will allow you to save some money and live an extremely comfortable life style. Fortunately, we are relatively early in our careers– early 40’s. Within the next 3-5 years, we will be at $4 million. There really is not a moment to lose in this game if you want to live comfortably without worrying about money.”

You can’t make this shit up.

Now you know why $500,000 a year is chicken scratch.

LESSONS LEARNED

1] Be an equity partner in a large international law firm or investment house.

2] Be a successful plastic surgeon.

3] Be an a-list celebrity.

4] Be a world-class pro athlete.

5] Be a member of the lucky sperm bank. 

Why Wealthy Divorced Women Don’t Remarry, But Men Do

Old woman sitting on the beach looking away at copyspace

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/first-wives-say-i-dont-to-second-marriages-2013-10-24

Why are wealthy divorced women more likely to decide to remain single? “It’s much harder for divorced males to be alone than females,” says Fran Walfish, a psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, Calif. Unlike men, she says, “a woman’s ego cannot bear to tolerate a man using her for her money. She needs to know she is loved—rich or poor—flaws and all.”

~~~

Wait for it!

More than 83% of divorced men back on the dating market would consider marriage within the next five years, according to a survey of 5,000 millionaire members of the dating site MillionaireMatch.com.

Only 5% said “never again,” and 11% said they would consider remarrying after five years.

Divorced female millionaires were at the opposite end of the scale: A mere 32% said they would consider remarrying in the next 5 years, and 70% said they’d never marry again or would wait 10 years or more.

Shocked?

I’m not.

Here’s why:

1] Women bond, while men isolate.

2] Older men can date women any age, regardless of motive [both motives], while women require a specific motive.

3] An older man’s vitality is replenished through exposure to youth and beauty. For women, it’s the opposite. Youth and beauty remind them to check their wills.

4] Love is not at the top of an older man’s list of must-haves in a relationship. It is the opposite for women which is why they bond with other women and call it a day.

5] Men need challenges. Without them there is no purpose to live.

Elder Statesman, Rod Stewart, Enjoying Life, Love and Relevance at 70

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The most successful homegrown solo star of all time, worth upwards of £350 million, Stewart has enjoyed 31 hit singles, a dozen of which, including Maggie May, You’re In My Heart, Sailing, Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?, Baby Jane and The First Cut Is The Deepest, are incontestable classics.

Yea, he missed the Baby Boom Gen by 1 year, but most of us “youngster” Boomers still consider him a member of the club.

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/home/event/article-3264865/Rod-Stewart-Viagra-money-music-Madonna-sex-70.html

Rod Stewart does not require introduction. You already know who he is, what he’s done, what he thinks about beautiful women, wine and song.

He is, for all intents and purposes, the very definition of relevance for a man who just turned 70.

How does he do it, keep going the way he does, feeling so alive?

1] He is fueled by a vast array of success that has paved the way for healthy self-esteem at his stage of life.

Note: There is a direct correlation between self esteem and perceived accomplishment.

2] He is happily married to a beautiful young woman who has had his back for over 2 decades.

Note: There is a direct correlation between a happy family life and longevity.

3] He continues to work, to produce to be engaged in life from every angle imaginable: Music, family, sports, car collecting, real estate…etc…

Note: The moment a man retires, his descent escalates.

4] He stay fit and healthy with help from a personal trainer, and watches his alcohol consumption, which at one time was plenty enough to sink a battleship.

Note: Maintaining physical health is one of life’s great challenges for older men, and also it’s most rewarding.

5] He appreciates where he is in life and maintains balance.

Note: Balance is key to a long, healthy life. Without it you’re just a rat on a wheel.

~~~

I know that many of you will say “Yea, I’m sure it is nice being a rich rock star with homes on several continents. No surprise he’s doing well!”

Points taken.

But many extraordinarily successful rock stars overdosed before their 30th birthdays.

The “Plankton” Generation – Revisited

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As most people know by now, there’s a phrase coined for 45-plus women on the dating scene – the Plankton Generation.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2022102/Why-struggle-single-women-45-meet-soulmate.html

It refers to women who are barely visible, and are “hanging at the bottom of the food chain” when it comes to attracting a mate.

It’s a derisive term, frankly, and one I’m not crazy about using.

But like most things in life aging-related, there’s no nice way of putting it.

Having said this, there are upsides depending on how you define “attracting a mate.”

I’ll explore those here…

~~~

It has been my experience that while older women find it difficult to find mates who fit their preferred profiles, they are better adapted to accepting – and making the very best of – the realities of aging.

According to Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a noted Yale professor of psychology women’s lives get better with age, not worse. Rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide in women go down, not up, as women grow older, and she contributes that to the natural strengths women possess — coping skills, empathy, ability to listen, patience — which help them to tackle new problems and situations that arise as they age. It also gives them the courage to pursue new paths.

Men, on the other hand, have tremendous difficulty accepting aging.

First, they have a tendency not to maintain close friendships with other men, nor do the friendships they do have involve any meaningful degree of emotional intimacy and support.

Women, on the other hand, cherish and nurture their friendships with other women which helps them navigate life’s many stages.

“Contrary to women, men do not celebrate older age as a time of joy, love, and fulfillment for all they have worked for and grown to be over their lifetimes,” as Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema states.

Note: Among the older adults, who were facing the adversities that come with aging, the men showed less inclination to use these important coping skills compared to the women. In other words, older women were more likely than older men to tap their mental, emotional, and relational strengths to deal with adversity, which in turn left them less vulnerable to depression and anxiety in the face of difficulty.

Contrary to popular opinion, women over 50 tend to find their confidence and increased levels of satisfaction from within… not from without.

Even in the face of our cultural obsession with youth and beauty, older women place a greater emphasis and pride on their own maturity, experience and wisdom.

But, make no mistake: “women over 50 think they’re looking pretty good, too:” according to Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema’s study, women’s body images actually become more positive as they move from their 20s, 30s and 40s, into midlife.

While many men consider this deluded thinking, it works in women’s favor given their level of self-acceptance.

Put another way, while women may not get their immediate needs met, they more than make up for it through friendships and outside interests.

A few of the websites and blogs that are especially effective at reflecting the interests and concerns of women over 50 include:

 The Art of Aging

 Aging Abundantly

 Fab After 50

 The National Association of Baby Boomer Women (NABBW)

 The Huffington Post/Aging

 Fab Over Fifty

 ThirdAge

 wowOwow (Women on the Web)

 StyleSubstanceSoul

 MarryingGeorgeClooney

 DailyPlateofCrazy

Good luck finding this many for men.

Writer Barbara Hannah Grufferman asked her friends on Facebook, Are women better at aging than men? and here’s what a few of them had to say (reprinted with their permission):

Barbara Briggs Ward: I think the tide has turned. Women are more in charge of their aging. They are no longer giving in to it. They run; walk; try new careers; eat well; find new loves. Age no longer means slowing down and retreating. Age does not define a woman-for better or worse. It only opens new doors for them. And I think all of this has given women an edge over the men who are used to doors always being open.

Denise Taylor Tremaine: You don’t ever hear, or rarely, of women going through a mid-life crisis… we handle everything with grace.

Kim Okerson: I agree that the social pressure on women is far greater, but it is up to each of us to have the grace and dignity to accept that our age is state of mind.

Connie Katon Wingo: The emotional impact of aging is difficult for men, I’d say. In their youth, they were able to have the perception of controlling their environment. Their identities as men were so often tied to their sexual perception and themselves. Their sex drive slows down, and for a great deal of men their “manhood,” is tied into their perception of their sexuality. Also, as men begin to age in the workforce, their roles begin to change and coping with the feeling of obsoleteness is frightening, possibly causing men to feel more insecure about aging.

Melody George: I dont think one gender has it over another on aging. I think with men and women it is equally daunting or exciting depending on the person.

Whatever your thoughts are on this… here’s the fundamental truth: the more we stick together, the happier we will be.

The unfortunate fact is that sticking together is something men simply don’t do well.

FINAL COMMENTS

As for the coping skills that older men do happen to have at their disposal, please note the following:

1] The ability to purchase and/or attract youth and beauty with money and power.

2] The distraction from existential pain using bigger homes, Aspen vacations and sports cars as leverage.

3] Hunting and fishing trips that get them out of the house and into the arms of escorts. 

4] Online porn.

5] Routine testosterone therapy and plastic surgery.

Normal, well-adjusted older men have age-appropriate wives, children and grandchildren, for God’s sake.

They have vacation homes where everyone comes together at holidays and embraces all that life has given them.

They aren’t consumed with death and irrelevance – or both.

Their families are their relevance.

I know this is lost on most of you who read this blog, but these people do exist.

Of course, they’d bore you to death long before loneliness or depression took you down.

What “Normal” Looks Like for Rich, Big City Boomers

2BFCBF8D00000578-3223381-image-a-216_1441458160046Buzz Bissinger, 60 with Caitlyn Jenner, 65 

I thought this picture was interesting, so I decided to share it with you.

I have nothing more to say…other than the fact that enough money and success have a way of opening doors to behavior that might otherwise remain hidden behind pleated khakis and anonymous Internet hook-ups. 

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