“Middle Aged” vs “Senior Citizen”

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First of all, nobody knows what constitutes middle-aged anymore than they do “old,” otherwise known and/or referred to as Senior Citizen.

Surveys indicate, however, that most people consider “old’ anyone over the age of 80. At this juncture, I agree. If I reach 80 and am still in great shape, I may disagree. It depends on how I feel, which is probably how most people gauge it.

As a Baby-Boomer myself [born smack in the middle of 1946 and 1964], I have no reliable frame of reference because I am a member of a tiny ecosystem of people who stayed in shape my entire life. The people I train around are all ages and it’s no walk in the friggin’ park.

Staying in shape requires a complete lifestyle adjustment for you civilians contemplating a jump start to a sedentary life. It may even mean divorcing your spouse once you realize that lethargy can be a form of cold-blooded murder in slow motion.

This sounds a bit histrionic, but doesn’t mean it isn’t true.



1] If you’re married, make sure your spouse is on board with your new fitness lifestyle. If not, you may have to divorce her, which is considered normal under these circumstances.

2] Understand that physical changes will catalyze psychological changes that may affect your relationship.

3] Get 8 hours of quality sleep.

4] Keep stress levels low.

5] Hydrate with water. Vodka does not count in spite of its high water content.

6] Moderation is a myth. Training is tough, so train tough.

7] Recovery takes twice as long as it used to take, so get a handle on this before you end up in the emergency room or psych’s couch.

8] Eat healthy and clean. You get used to it, believe me. Especially the way it makes you feel.

9] Maintain an active sex life. It will remind you that you’re still alive. This is also one reason many people say age is only a number.

10] Once you’re in shape, avoid any articles about “senior fitness” if you want to sidestep depression and/or suicide.

Hope this helps


Delusion as Addictive as Cheeseburgers in L.A.

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I’m not going to sit here and tell you Russel Crowe is a dick for suggesting women in their 40’s get a grip.

What I am going to do is applaud him for having the balls to call bullshit on delusion.

The politically correct thing to do is to go along with feminist narratives so you don’t come across as a misogynist. But the more you go along with them the more out of touch with reality you become, until eventually, you’re back in group with all the other guys who tried “enlightenment” only to learn that erections don’t lie.



Madonna and Her Battle for Relevance in the Middle Years



Madonna Louise Ciccone [aka Madonna] was born in Bay City, Michigan on August 16, 1958, which makes her 56 years of age. Her career started in 1979 and since that time she has amassed a fortune exceeding $800 million dollars doing exactly what she wanted to do with her life, which is pretty much everything a human being could possibly hope to do in one lifetime, or 100 for that matter.

The tailwind from her career would be enough to propel most clinical narcissists into old age without the help of a therapist, but not Madonna. No. She demands the world see her the way that it did 30 years ago, in spite if the fact that it is 30 years later.

In light of this, it’s no surprise that she levels charges of “ageism” as if that’s going to somehow guilt-trip her fans into some sort of collective hallucination.

The poor woman just fell off the stage during a comeback performance, for god’s sake. That’s about as bad as it gets for a cultural icon that uses fame the way human beings use blood.

Youth is gone, Louise. I’m sorry. I feel it, too. So does everyone else our age. But we don’t do ourselves any favors trying to be something we’re not. If you want to believe the applause you receive from aging women and drag queens constitutes transcendence, I’m sorry.

I remember seeing Madonna at NYC nightclubs back in the late 70’s. She was unknown, striking, wildly creative, and always blitzing for attention. She leveraged the currency of youth to achieve her objectives when she had it in spades. Some people are fortunate that way. Personal conviction is something most of us have to earn over time.

Nonetheless, after many decades of Madonna being Madonna, her relevance is vanishing. And while in all likelihood she can still fill arenas, the reason has everything to do with nostalgia and nothing whatsoever to do with another successful reinvention.

If she wants to act, let her act. Meryl Streep still does it. If she wants to make a nightclub appearance here and there, maybe belt out an old jazz standard, go for it. Woody Allen has a regular gig at Café Carlyle in New York. It’s all good.

With these thoughts in mind, I regret to say that I can no longer rock my crimson Spandex in the gym, in spite of the fact that I haven’t aged a day since 1979.