Aniston Goes Nuclear at Middle Age

Jennifer-Aniston-People-Most-Beautiful-Woman-2016Jennifer Aniston is tired of being judged on her appearance.

I don’t blame her.

At some point we all bend over whether we like it or not.

Bottom line here is you can’t have everything, always.

We get youth and beauty, but no money or experience.

Or we get them all at the same time, and then land in jail or rehab or dead.

But the way it usually works is we acquire money and experience over time, but fall apart physically, even if it just looks that way.

For people [like Ms. Aniston] who leveraged their looks to sell a brand, it’s a battle she will lose no matter how much she bitches about being objectified.

Nobody cares what her reaction to aging happens to be.

They only care about what she looks like, as she knows, hence the attitude.

Why Some Stars Age Badly?

beautiful-stars-who-aged-horribly4Axl Rose, 53

You can blame a crappy appearance on the passage of a few years.

But you can also blame yourself for how you spent them.

In other words, “You make the bed you sleep in…” as my grandfather, Shelley, used to say.

Unfortunately, Axl Rose started out with a bed in complete disarray.

Thankfully, his voice and ability to write memorable music were enough to carry him through a lot of the turmoil.

But he is still a tragic result of his past.

So did misfortune cause him age badly?

Indirectly, yes.

But with help, most of us are salvageable.

In his case, he was either unable – or unwilling – to overcome the demons that laid waste to his childhood, and what we now see is a reflection of how he feels about himself.

There are many talented celebrities who have aged incredibly well.

In every instance, though, it’s because they took great care of themselves –– not because they visited a Devil’s Crossroads or were born divine.

Sting comes to mind as he always does in these narratives.

Aging is not a death sentence in the context of appearance.

It’s a series of choices.

I bring this up because MSN is fond of writing attention-grabbing headlines about how badly some celebrities have aged, like they were somehow struck down by God while shopping at Whole Foods.

Does a 53-year-old man look like he did at 22?

Of course not.

But many would argue that an exemplary 53-year-old actually constitutes an improvement.

A few lines, harder features, a fit frame, success, maturity, wisdom, knowledge all combined can equal a far more appealing individual.

While youth and beauty are synonymous in absolute terms, aging well balances the scales because it is one of life’s consummate achievements.

Just ask anyone who’s ever won an Oscar.


Aging badly is most often tied to two things:

1] Obesity

2] Over-indulgence in plastic surgery.

Both are tied directly to self-esteem, and both are treatable psychiatric disabilities.

There is a third possibility, but delusion doesn’t count.

Ageism Strikes…Again.

In this summer 2015 photo released by the Vermont Governor's Office, Gov. Peter Shumlin and his fiancee Katie Hunt pose for a photograph in Burlington, Vt. The governor's office said Thursday, Sept. 17, 2015, that Shumlin, 59, and Hunt, 31, were recently engaged and plan to marry within the next year, although they have not chosen a specific date. (Vermont Governor's Office via AP) MANDATORY CREDIT

Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin, 59 and his fiance Katie Hunt, 31

The fact that this is a “story” at all speaks to the lingering ageism in the same world that’s witnessed Olympian Bruce Jenner morph into Caitlin, and gay marriage legalized.

So what’s up with this?

Let’s turn to some of the article’s comments for more insight:

“She doesn’t look 31. She looks older. Seems less shocking that way.”

“He must have money.”

“I would not be happy if I was her parents.”

“He’s a pig. He’s very wealthy so yeah… Right move on her part!”


There were one or two supportive remarks, but that’s it.

So what does this say about us as a society?

It says that there are lots of pissed off older women who feel left behind, and just as many young men who feel that they can’t compete with older men of affluence and power.

See, nobody’s competing with Caitlin Jenner.

Piers Morgan Assails Plastic Surgeons and the Battle for Immortality: A Brief Discussion on the Psychopathology of Aging

2755308600000578-3028734-image-m-3_1428406979049Dr Fredric Brandt, pictured here with fan Kelly Ripa

In this article [tirade], Piers Morgan trashes physician Fredric Brandt for what he claims to be exploitation of client vanity. You can read the article for yourself. Suffice to say, Morgan is no stranger to sensationalizing cultural hot buttons. 


The following link explores the world Dr. Brandt and the pursuit of physical perfection. I will follow up with a discussion of vanity among middle-aged men, and their insatiable pursuit of “relevance” as they see it.


Like everything else in life, you can eat too many cheeseburgers. Once in a while is fine. Every day and you’re a walking dead man.

Same is true of fitness.

After a certain age, if you workout 7 days a week, 3 hours a day you’re going to end up in the hospital.

Cut it back to 1 hour a day, 6 days a week – with good diet and lots of rest – and you can go on and on and on.

When it comes to the other “maintenance” most people refer to as plastic surgery, the same logic applies.

If your laugh lines look like ravines in photo ops, you can visit a dermatologist and a dermal filler erase them in 5 minutes.

But if you’re back every week for another procedure, I might suggest a psychiatrist.

As a middle-aged man the disastrous effects this quest for perfection has on people is impossible to miss.

Most of these people never saw a needle they didn’t like.

And it’s not like you’re going to be dissuaded by physicians who pursue this area of medicine for everything but altruism.

It’s big business, and they’re masters of monetizing insecurity.

Most physicians in this trade only see the credit card, not the self-esteem on life support.

So get a grip.

Having said this, when surgeries get to a point where even the physician refuses further procedures on ethical grounds, it’s usually a business decision tied to a patient’s sudden resemblance to fish.




Middle-Aged Men and Double Lives, Explored.


Whether it’s a struggling college student in Washington, D.C. trying to make ends meet, or a “manageable” pill problem no one needs to know about, double lives can be a full time job for the older man of means.

With a middle class in America on life support, and article after article telling young people that in order to become really rich you have to start out really rich, you can see how things can become demoralizing after a while. 

Advertising flaunts the lavish lifestyles of the rich and famous at every turn, and the fact shows like The Kardashians are among America’s favorite “reality” pastimes, you can see where the average person might feel like a civilian in a war they can’t win.

Okay, so this is the playing field.

Enter the affluent and entitled middle-aged man with time on his hands and penchant for youth, and beauty and a new market is born.

In this world everything one might imagine is usually the norm.

“Michael” has been married to the same woman for 20 years. They have 3 kids in college. At 55 he’s proven all he needs to prove to himself and the world around him. He’s been financially successful, sits on corporate and charitable boards, and is a member in good standing of a prestigious country club. What more of life could one ask?

A lot.

“Michael” is bored. He wants more out of life. But more of what?


He wants to feel “alive” again. He wants the higher highs, the ones that kept him motivated and in the saddle all these years.

So he stumbles around a bit.

He tries to retire, but that doesn’t work because boredom – and that sense of irrelevance – start creeping into the subconscious until he’s ready to climb out of his skin.

So he goes back to work, but still finds holes in the plaster. There’s got to be more. This can’t be all that’s left of what once was.

It’s time for an assessment.

NOTE [s]:

1] This mental process is uncommon among ordinary men.

2] However, it is quite common among politicians, athletes, entertainers, high-octane suits, and other libidinous creatures, otherwise known as men who expect more because they feel entitled to more.

Using #2 as a template for this brief discussion, it doesn’t stretch the imagination to understand why playing life close to the vest is endemic to success in any and all endeavors.

In this sense, business and pleasure overlap and what we see are happily married men with mistresses in luxury apartments in other cities, for example.

They do not consider this cheating.

In their minds, its like a tax credit for providing their wives with high-end lifestyles they would not otherwise experience.

So it’s a win-win.

This level of compartmentalization is common among high-functioning sociopaths, who did not climb to the top being kind and compassionate.

With this as a backdrop, one can easily see that certain psychological profiles lead to certain behaviors, which is why criminal profilers who hunt homicidal sociopaths might open a division just for affluent older men who lead double lives.

While they don’t dump bodies along lonely stretches of freeway, they drop souls all over the place.


Healthy Diets Should Not Be Rocket Science


Dean Ornish recently published an OP-ED piece in the New York Times titled “The Myth of High-Protein Diets,” in which he extolled the virtues of a whole foods, plant-based diet.

It bears noting that Mr. Ornish is also a member of the University of California, San Francisco nonprofit, Preventive Medicine Research Institute, which promotes the belief that livestock production is the leading cause of global warming.

With this in mind, it’s not a stretch to assume that he and his colleagues have a vested interest in keeping you out of steakhouses, which further confuses an already information-weary public.

Making matters worse, on the same day MSN published a headlining article promoting the top sandwich shops in America, all of them beef intensive!

For God’s sake, get your stories straight already.


I was talking to my trainer yesterday about the latest diet trends, and he said rather matter-of factly:

“Discussions about what to eat or not to eat will be going on for the rest of our lives…”

So I asked several other trainers the same question and received similar responses. These guys spend their entire lives thinking about this stuff because they’re expected to know more than the general public, and even they’re conflicted.

With this in mind, here are some general guidelines I follow, and they seem to work:

1] Based on the way I train [powerlifting], I know that I absolutely, positively need a good source of healthy protein. Proteins are the building blocks of lean muscle tissue, and because they break down more slowly than simple carbohydrates, consumption also helps when dieting down. I avoid all processed meats. In other words, I stay out of Stop-n-Go unless I’m buying water. I buy grass-fed meats from places like Whole Foods, which are ten times the price of Wal-Mart – but in the long run – 100 times less expensive than hospital visits. Purchase only lean cuts of grass fed meat, chicken breast, egg whites, canned white fish, and salmon. My shakes, by the way, are made with whey protein.

3] Unless you’re running marathons every 5 minutes, stay away from breads, pastas, white rice and other simple carbohydrates. The spikes in sugar result in hypoglycemic crashes followed by distended bellies. If you must eat some form of bread, try Ezekiel brand, which has a lower glycemic count.

4] Hydrate. Most older men lose their sense of thirst due to reduced kidney function, so ignore your body and drink heavily.

5] I eat lost of fruits and colorful vegetables. They don’t taste as good as Southern fried chicken, but the way they make you feel is something you learn to appreciate fast.

6] A little low fat cheese is fine, but understand that the majority of your fats should come from foods like olive oil, avocados, macadamias, walnuts and pine nuts and almonds.

7] I usually have a glass of wine and fruit in the evenings. Eating is not always a pain in the ass, just most of the time. but like I said, it’s about how proper nutrition makes you look and feel.

8] Some people allow themselves “cheat” meals, but I have found that my body can no longer tolerate heavy, greasy food, so I avoid them altogether.

9] I take multivitamins, as well as supplement with omega-3 fatty acid-rich fish oil, vitamin D and one mini-aspirin [Bayer].

10] I rest and recover no matter how long that takes. I never go to the gym depleted. It’s counterproductive, and often, an injury magnet.

11] I try to avoid toxic stress at any and all costs. There’s both good and bad stress. You can Google it.

12] The moment you start weighing your food, you need psychiatric help. Just follow the basic guidelines and you’ll be fine.


Health and fitness are synonymous. You can’t have one without the other. In other words, you can’t just eat right and expect to stay healthy. You must also stay physically active to reap the rewards. Using the 12-steps above [no puns], I add 6 days of exercise to my regimen: 3 days of heavy resistance and agility training [1 hour], and 3 days of cardio, foam rolling and stretching [1 hour]. If you think this is a lot to give, ask yourself how much time you spend in front of the television and generally speaking it should answer your question. 

Understand also that there will be resistance to your efforts to stay fit, most often from those who aren’t.

An older gentleman at my gym told me that his Internist asked him why he lifted weights. His exact words went something like this: “At your age, are you trying to be a bodybuilder or something?” When I asked the man to describe the physical condition of said physician, his description said it all. Projection is common amongst older physicians who should be kicking your ass to stay fit. Instead, they dispense advice based upon their own sedentary lifestyles. This means you’ll need to find a physician who gets it, along with a new healthier group of friends who will help keep you on track.

I never said it was going to be easy, but the solutions are hardly rocket science.


On Dating Men in Their 60’s [or older men, in general]


In my particular socioeconomic niche, inter-generational dating is considered normal. A lot of this, as expected, has to do with financial security. But it also involves other things tangential to getting older, which I will cover.

In my mind, the only reason not to be open to dating older men is child-bearing, which is often a non-issue as many women these days either forestall, or avoid it altogether. Needless to say, most 60-year-old men are going to be less inclined to put up with raising a family, unless it involves dogs and cats. They’d rather focus their attention on the young women in their lives, which is the point of this article.

My new soon-to-be-available book, Urban Dystrophy, covers a lot of this, but suffice to say, it just makes sense when you balance the commodities of youth and beauty with maturity and appreciation.

I’m in one of these relationships. My girlfriend is 30 years my junior, and we’ve been living together for 4 years. Do her friends wonder if she’s lost her mind? No. In fact, I’ve noticed that many are intrigued as our culture changes.

As for the math, it’s irrelevant. When I’m 70 and she’s 40, we will have been together 14 years. This would constitute a record by today’s standards.

If she stays healthy, she will outlive me. If she doesn’t, I may spend years at her bedside. The point is nobody knows. We all want to run the numbers, but they often don’t pan out.

This is why I don’t think about it. If I did I would be dating someone my own age who would probably kill me long before I was physically dead.

So here are my top 5 reasons for dating older men:

1] Maturity

2] Appreciation

3] Security

4] Desire to please [and pleasure]

5] Experience and/or worldliness

It also bears noting that my SO and share tastes in music, embrace technology and live a healthy lifestyle.

Relevance is not just measured in years.


Middle-Aged Rock Still Rolls

Billy_Idol_Brixton_Academy_London_11.11.2005_(2)Caption: Billy Idol, 59

For those of you who wonder what the hell happened to rock and roll, check out the looooong list of players who refuse to lie down.

A Sampling of Classic Heavy Metal Bands On Tour: 2015

UPDATED: February 27, 2015



Alice Cooper


Bad Company

Billy Idol

Black Sabbath


Bon Jovi

Bret Michaels

Cheap Trick


The Cult


Deep Purple

Def Leppard, Poison & Cheap Trick

Dio Disciples


Duff McKagan’s Loaded


Faster Pussycat


George Lynch

Great White

Guitar Gods Tour -Yngwie Malmsteen, Gary Hoey, Uli Jon Roth & Bumblefoot

Guns N Roses

Rob Halford

Iron Maiden

Judas Priest

Kings X



L.A. Guns

Lillian Axe

Lynch Mob




Michael Monroe (of Hanoi Rocks)

Michael Schenker Group (MSG)

Motley Crue


New York Dolls

Night Ranger

Ted Nugent

Ozz Fest

Pat Travers

Pretty Boy Floyd

Queensryche w/ Geoff Tate

Quiet Riot



Joe Satriani

Sebastian Bach


Skid Row






Thin Lizzy

Twisted Sister


Vanilla Fudge

Van Halen

Vince Neil (solo)



White Lion




Delusion as Addictive as Cheeseburgers in L.A.

by Comments Off on Delusion as Addictive as Cheeseburgers in L.A.



I’m not going to sit here and tell you Russel Crowe is a dick for suggesting women in their 40’s get a grip.

What I am going to do is applaud him for having the balls to call bullshit on delusion.

The politically correct thing to do is to go along with feminist narratives so you don’t come across as a misogynist. But the more you go along with them the more out of touch with reality you become, until eventually, you’re back in group with all the other guys who tried “enlightenment” only to learn that erections don’t lie.



Madonna and Her Battle for Relevance in the Middle Years


Madonna Louise Ciccone [aka Madonna] was born in Bay City, Michigan on August 16, 1958, which makes her 56 years of age. Her career started in 1979 and since that time she has amassed a fortune exceeding $800 million dollars doing exactly what she wanted to do with her life, which is pretty much everything a human being could possibly hope to do in one lifetime, or 100 for that matter.

The tailwind from her career would be enough to propel most clinical narcissists into old age without the help of a therapist, but not Madonna. No. She demands the world see her the way that it did 30 years ago, in spite if the fact that it is 30 years later.

In light of this, it’s no surprise that she levels charges of “ageism” as if that’s going to somehow guilt-trip her fans into some sort of collective hallucination.

The poor woman just fell off the stage during a comeback performance, for god’s sake. That’s about as bad as it gets for a cultural icon that uses fame the way human beings use blood.

Youth is gone, Louise. I’m sorry. I feel it, too. So does everyone else our age. But we don’t do ourselves any favors trying to be something we’re not. If you want to believe the applause you receive from aging women and drag queens constitutes transcendence, I’m sorry.

I remember seeing Madonna at NYC nightclubs back in the late 70’s. She was unknown, striking, wildly creative, and always blitzing for attention. She leveraged the currency of youth to achieve her objectives when she had it in spades. Some people are fortunate that way. Personal conviction is something most of us have to earn over time.

Nonetheless, after many decades of Madonna being Madonna, her relevance is vanishing. And while in all likelihood she can still fill arenas, the reason has everything to do with nostalgia and nothing whatsoever to do with another successful reinvention.

If she wants to act, let her act. Meryl Streep still does it. If she wants to make a nightclub appearance here and there, maybe belt out an old jazz standard, go for it. Woody Allen has a regular gig at Café Carlyle in New York. It’s all good.

With these thoughts in mind, I regret to say that I can no longer rock my crimson Spandex in the gym, in spite of the fact that I haven’t aged a day since 1979.