The Urban Dystrophy Virus Spreading Among Millennials


Mason [on the right] wears the mark of truth [Urban Dystrophy t-shirt].

He is also 1/3rd my age and already gets it. 

Hopefully, the general narrative will serve he and others of his generation well.


I’m the first to admit – brag, frankly – that I don’t cavort with a politically sensitive crowd no matter what their ages happen to be. 

Nobody places boundaries on free speech and/or expression.

If someone is offended by something someone says, they let them know it and just move on.

I find this refreshing.

Every human being, both old and young, knows what’s acceptable and what’s back from the time they were kids — not since the last political convention.

As a parent to animals, I don’t know much about raising human babies. But what I do know is that the way I was raised didn’t kill me, and, in fact, probably led to my avoidance of federal prison.

With this in mind, here are 10 lessons parents should hammer into their kids heads before it’s too late:

1] Corporal punishment is a good thing when kids act up. As long as you don’t put your kid in the hospital, beating them with belts, paddles and boxing gloves is the way to go.

2] Tell your kids the truth about everything. If he or she looks like a tramp  – or complete idiot – let them know in no uncertain terms before they learn about it on the playground where wolves will be wolves.

3] Hammer into their heads that the most important thing in life is financial security followed by health…and then love.

4] Life is a food chain. Everything you say and do can and will be used against you in the court of popular opinion, including job applications.

5] Take care of your health using exercise, particularly weight lifting, to help mitigate your psychiatric problems.

6] Sex is good. More of it is better.

7] If you have sex with someone, just know that they now have leverage over you, so always keep #4 in mind.

8] People are rarely altruistic unless it benefits them, which may also benefit you. So there’s that.

9] When guys get older, they don’t necessarily get weaker. So keep that in mind when you decide to fuck with a guy 3 times your age.

10] Holding onto money is always tougher than earning it, so earn a lot so you can play the odds without ending up under a bridge.