The Beauty-Status Exchange

Woman Timing Speed Dating Event --- Image by © sven hagolani/Corbis

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/07/the-myth-of-buying-beauty/374414/

The Beauty-Status relationship is analogous to lines and performance in sports cars.

And speaking of sports cars, there’s always a faster one.

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What I’m about to illustrate will probably irritate most women who resent objectification, but it may help mitigate the anger through acceptance that men are superficial first, human second.

THE MALE DEMOGRAPHIC

1] Big cities

2] Educated

3] Worldly

4] “Rich”

5] Baby-Boomers

Three [3] female body types and how men of the above demographic respond to each:

tumblr_me6fa8I7xd1rangyao1_500

 

While no one could possibly argue that this woman isn’t insanely fit, most would find her too muscular for cocktail attire.

Imagine her in Prada and the discussion is closed.

She’s out of place anywhere other than a gym, which is not where most of these men spend the majority of their lives.

She is also impossible to physically control, which challenges a CEO’s self-perception as natural born leader.

A plus-size model parades a design from the Rio label during the 'Hot in the City' Intimates show at the Sydney Fashion Festival on August 21, 2009. The festival aimed at the public profiles the comtemporary spring-summer collections of local and international fashion brands as these new season's looks arrive into stores throughout the city.   RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE      AFP PHOTO / Greg WOOD (Photo credit should read GREG WOOD/AFP/Getty Images)

A plus-size model parades a design from the Rio label during the ‘Hot in the City’ Intimates show at the Sydney Fashion Festival on August 21, 2009. The festival aimed at the public profiles the comtemporary spring-summer collections of local and international fashion brands as these new season’s looks arrive into stores throughout the city. RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE AFP PHOTO / Greg WOOD (Photo credit should read GREG WOOD/AFP/Getty Images)

Plus-sized women make such men feel inadequate and embarrassed.

What have they done – or not done – in their personal lives to enable such an abomination to evolve?

People will hurl conjecture right and left at galas and benefits from here to Monte Carlo.

She should know better, and he’s obviously a complete failure as a man, so yes, this physique is a FAIL.

SHARNI VINSON and Kellan Lutz at the Beach at Cronulla New South Wales in Australia

SHARNI VINSON and Kellan Lutz at the Beach at Cronulla New South Wales in Australia

While there remains a small niche market for this look – particularly among men who get off on physically dominating the look and feel of 12-year-old boys – it is less common than you might imagine.

Irina Shayk for Beach Bunny swimwear campaign Take Me to Rio-passion4luxury-19

Finally, we have what most men in the above demographic consider a woman prepped to sell.

She is fit, but overly so. “Toned, but not muscular” is the way is usually described.

Her bathing suit looks the way the fashion designer envisioned it on a woman, and furthermore, she would look great in basically everything “couture” on the planet.

Perceptions of him – his status, in particular – soars.

He’s now arrived and she gets the house.

Yea, there’s a downside to everything.

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HOW TO MAINTAIN “OBJECT” STATUS

Women who go down this road know what they have to sacrifice in order to get it right.

First, they have to start out with the right facial and body structure.

There is some wiggle room here, so don’t freak out just yet.

From this point forward, the hard work begins.

Tenet #1: Counting calories is as much a part of life as breathing, preferably no more than 1200 a day.

For me 1200 calories doesn’t even cover breakfast, but whatever.

Tenet #2: In order to maintain the obligatory year-round tan and flawless skin, you need the right skincare products and 100% sunblock.

Understand that women do not tan at a pool. They tan at a salon. There’s a difference.

As for exercising, there is no such thing as running a marathon or any extended outdoor running at all.

It’s fine for teenagers, but once a woman hits her mid-20’s all the sun damage creeps in like a tsunami.

Tenet #4: All exercising must be done indoors – at “pump” classes, Pilates and yoga.

Understand that the look is “toned, but not muscular,” in spite of the fact that this makes no literal sense, since tone is muscle.

But women in “the know” understand the terminology well because they have the blueprint stamped into their DNA.

SUMMARY OF THE BASICS

1] 1200 calories a day

2] Spray on tan and sunblock.

3] Indoor exercise, only.

Got it?

WANT MORE?

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