What Do Successful Men Over 60 Really, Really Want in a Mate?

Pretty much everything.

There is a certain aesthetic to which women who date – or aspire to date – successful men adhere. It is very specific.

Adjectives used to describe the look are as follows: “Long, lean, timeless and elegant.”

Think Else Hose:

In order to achieve this look you must first be structurally proportionate and blessed with facial beauty.

Then you have to diet, which looks a lot like that of Jennifer Lopez when she’s touring.

Think 1350 total calories per day. All organic, non-GMO, gluten-free blah blah blah, plus exercise.

If you don’t look the part, men aren’t buying.

So, #1 is appearance.

If you want a rich man you have to put in the work.

Remember, you’re the one chasing him. if you don’t like it, use your own millions to buy someone you like.

#2 is proper grammar.

If you haven’t mastered the Queens English, you have no business at galas and cocktail functions. In bed, you can go back to the streets where you came from.

#3 is attire.

You should already know the name of every clothing designer on the planet because he’ll expect you to dress the part after you’ve burned up his credit cards.

#4 Sexual fluidity with a certain uncontrollable darkness, or dark side as it’s often referred.

What this means is that there has to be something about you that he cannot completely conquer, which keeps him off guard and curious.

#5 is interests, as in, you have to have some beyond him or he will assume you have less value than he thought you did after he checked off the last 4 items. 

Successful men want reflections of themselves in the women in their lives, so imagine yourself a successful, powerful man in thigh-highs and you’re on the right track.

Hard Work and Clean Living Are Only Part of THIS STORY

 

A relatively new website, http://www.agingevolution.com, extols the virtues of good old fashion clean living and hard work in order to achieve what, for all intents and purposes, is eternal youth.

The site’s tag line is — “It’s Never TOO LATE To Be Great”

Okay. So now you know the hook. So here’s the line and sinker part…

If hard work and clean living are all you have going for you, you’re not getting close to the guy in the above image.

The other part of the equation is never mentioned.

The most important part.

As a 61-year-old man with a lifetime of physical fitness under my belt, I know what it takes to be in top shape.

But I still don’t look like the guy in the above photograph.

Why not?

Because 61 is not 21 no matter how hard you train.

There is an important distinction to be made between what is naturally achievable at 61, and what is required to achieve what was only possible 40 years ago.

Suffice to say, you can’t pound it out in the gym, prepare it in kitchen, or buy it at GNC or Walgreens.

It comes from a physician at considerable price, both financially and physically.

And people wonder why body dysmorphia’s as common as the flu.

Yes, it’s tempting to fall for all the ads, radio shows and endless infomercials about the merits and virtues of “hormone replacement.”

But just know that this term is a more soft-peddled way of saying “steroid use.”

The following 10 steroids are the most commonly used [and prescribed] since their introduction into the world of anabolic steroids and performance enhancing drugs:

Clenbuterol

Also known as Clen and Clenbuterol is an anti-catabolic anabolic product that helps users reduce the extra kilos under the belt. This selective beta-agonist 2 symphatonimetric is available in the form of syrups, tablets and injections and has an active life of about 35-40 hours. He is admired by sportsmen, particularly bodybuilders and strength athletes, especially for its benefits when it comes to achieving a lean body appearance without losing muscle mass or muscle size. The use of clenbuterol does not produce side effects such as gynecomastia or water retention, which are common problems with most steroids. The recommended dose is 140 mcg of Clen (micrograms) per day for men and 120 mcg per day for women (doses can be taken with or without meals) unless otherwise recommended by a qualified doctor. Clenbuterol is usually associated with other anabolics such as Dianabol, Deca-Durabolin, Dianabol, Winstrol and during a steroid cycle for optimizing benefits of all atthe same time.

Anavar

Also known as Oxandrolone Anavar is one of the most used and recommended anabolic steroids. This anabolic drug is second to none when it comes to facilitating speedy recovery after surgery or in case of recurring infection and is equally effective for promoting strength gains without weight gain. It is available in oral and injectable forms, Anavar is a step ahead of other anabolics in the sense that it does not aromatize into dihydrotestosterone (DHT) and has no effect on the liver. As regards Anavar cycles,the recommended dose is 20-40 mg per day for men and 10-20 mg daily for women; the doses can be taken with or without meals. It is generally associated with anabolic steroids as Dianabol, Winstrol, Primobolan, and Sustanon 250 during a steroid cycle.

Winstrol

When it comes to staying ahead of the competition without feeling any heat, Oral Winstrol or Injectable Winstrol or Winny inevitably makes the list of top 10 steroids. This is because this drug produces exemplary performance and is very effective when it comes to promoting improvements in terms of mass and strength. The fact that taking Winstrol does not expose users to steroid side effects that are common with most anabolics assures users they can be confident of making tremendous gains. This derivative of testosterone, the male sex hormone, effectively stimulates the production of stromelysin, prostaglandin E2, and matrix metalloproteinases collegenase to promote a solid muscle building process. The recommended dose of this anabolic, available in oral and injectable form, is 15-25 mg (milligram) per day, which can be taken with or without meals. Winstrol is generally supplemented with other anabolics such as Deca-Durabolin, Primobolan, Testosterone Propionate, Dianabol, Trenbolone, and Clenbuterol during a steroid cycle.

Dianabol

Also known as Methandrostenolone or d-bol, it is one of those potent anabolic steroids that can bring dramatic results in a short period of time. This powerful androgenic anabolic product promotes the protein synthesis process that helps in the development of muscle mass and muscle size. It is also effective in maintaining glycogen during a bulking cycle when it comes to developing solid muscle mass. Dianabol can have adverse effects on the liver (protection: Samarin, Legalon …). There can be a water retention rate of up to 30% with Dianabol Pink and Blue, as opposed to only 10% for the Yellow Dianabol. The recommended dose of Dianabol is 20 80-mg daily , which can be taken with or without meals. This anabolic is generally supplemented with anabolics like Anavar, Deca Durabolin, Winstrol, and Clenbuterol during a steroid cycle.

Deca Durabolin

Also known as Deca or nandrolone decanoate, it is an anabolic steroid that can find its place on any list of top 10 steroids. This anabolic product offers powerful anabolic effects and minimal androgen side effects, so users can easily enjoy its benefits without being exposed to side effects commonly associated with steroids. Having no adverse effects on the liver, Deca is very effective in treating blood disorders and developing muscle cells. The recommended dose of Deca Durabolin is 200-400 mg per week for men and 100-200 mg weekly for women. Deca Durabolin can be taken with or without meals. This anabolic is often associated with other anabolics such as Dianabol, Anavar, Clenbuterol, and Winstrol.

Primobolan

Primobolan, or Primo, is one of those potent anabolic steroids that have helped thousands of professional sportsmen and celebrities to realize their dreams. Having no effect on the liver, this anabolic product helps users redefine performance improvements on a continuous basis. It has the ability to stimulate the body to produce more active testosterone. In addition, it is also effective in reducing the levels of androgenic DHT and female estrogen. The recommended dose of this medication from our list of best steroids is 10, 2-3 mg per kilogram per week. The doses can be taken with or without meals. This drug is not recommended for girls and women unless otherwise recommended by a physician. Primobolan is usually stacked with Dianabol, Clenbuterol, and Anadrol during a steroid cycle.

Anadrol

Also known as Oxymetholone, Anadrol finds an important place in this list of top 10 best steroids. This is simply because this steroid is one of the most effective of all oral steroids when it comes to improving muscle size and helping athletes facing injuries. Not only that, it is equally effective in improving the number of red blood cells and helps the body to absorb more oxygen. This drug is medically recommended for persons suffering from congenital anemia (aplastic anemia, acquired aplastic anemia or hypoplastic anemia). The recommended daily dose of this medication is 1-5 mg per kilogram of body weight. It is often stacked with Deca-Durabolin and Primobolan during a steroid cycle.

Sustanon 250

When it comes to improveing performance, the best anabolic steroid may be Sustanon 250. This performance-enhancing drug is a combination of four types of testosterone: testosterone propionate (30 mg), testosterone phenylpropionate (60 mg) isocaproate testosterone (60 mg), and testosterone decanoate (100 mg). It is very effective when it comes to ensuring improvements in endurance, muscle mass, strength, and of course performance. A unique property of Sustanon is its ability to provide a solid basis for unparalleled quality muscle mass. The recommended dose of Sustanon is 250-750 mg per week for men and can be taken with or without meals. This drug is not recommended for women. It is generally stacked with other anabolics such as Dianabol, Anadrol, and Winstrol.

Testosterone Cypionate

Success is not far from you when testosterone cypionate is nearby. This derivative of testosterone is hailed as an exemplary anabolic steroid that facilitates peak performance on a regular basis. This anabolic is also useful for ensuring improvements in terms of physical strength, muscle mass, and endurance. The recommended dose of testosterone cypionate is 200-800mg weekly; the doses can be taken with or without meals. It is generally associated with anabolic products such as Dianabol, Primobolan, and Clenbuterol during a steroid cycle.

Testosterone Enanthate

This derivative of Testosterone is considered by many as the most effective of all testosterone compounds. When used for a period of 8-10 weeks at doses of 500-1000 mg per week, testosterone enanthate offers unmatched advantages in terms of strength gains and also in terms of gains in muscle mass. The derivative of testosterone (testosterone enanthate) is generally added with anabolics like Anavar, Clenbuterol, Dianabol, Deca Durabolin, and Primobolan.

~~~

So there you have it.

I have seen each and every one of these drugs used at my gym, and it is NOT a hardcore bodybuilding gym by a long shot.

It’s a luxury family fitness center filled to the rafters with affluent older men and women who want whatever money can buy back from father time.

Now you know why my area of town is rife with ex-Internists turned testosterone pushers.

Rich Men Choose Younger Women the Way They Choose Automobiles

SAN DIEGO, CA – JULY 23: Actor Harrison Ford and actress Calista Flockhart attend the Premiere of Universal Pictures “Cowboys & Aliens” during Comic-Con 2011 at San Diego Civic Theatre on July 23, 2011 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/marina-margulis/over-hill-step-aside

I’m going to say some things here that are going to seriously piss off a lot of people.

Not that you aren’t used to it by now, but I’m really going in on this one.

Seat belts please…

~~~

The article above from www.yourtango.com appeared earlier this year, but brings up certain realities that mirror my own world.

It was penned by a matchmaker who refuses to handle female clients because, as she puts it, “successful older men prefer to date younger women is because THEY CAN.”

“In this tough singles market, if a man pays top dollar for a matchmaker, he expects nothing less than a 29-year-old model.”

And since women are attracted to confidence and power, they embrace older men who are in possession of both…in abundance.

This is not to say that some younger men aren’t filthy rich.

But if a woman is also looking for security, get in line.

Odds are young men have youth and beauty and nothing more, which is why they don’t need matchmakers. They need bodyguards.

Around Houston, it’s commonplace to see drop-dead beautiful young women in the arms of wealthy older men.

In fact, it’s kind of weird not to, unless the couple have been together a long time and she still looks great courtesy of surgeons and cash.

Is any of this fair? In a certain sense, no.

But in the context of commodities in a world of demand and supply, it’s as fair as it gets.

SNAPSHOT

One guy I know has a list of attributes all women he dates must be in possession of…or the “relationship” will last about an hour.

1] Straight white teeth and healthy gums.

2] Clear complexion.

3] Height/weight proportionate [like a fitness model].

4] Fit [like a fitness model].

5] Breasts and butt perky and proportionate [like a fitness model].

6] Stylish

7] Articulate

8] Sexy

9] Funny

10] Trustworthy

Now, as everyone knows, this woman does no exist. So what many men do is divvy up the attributes to see if whatever is missing can be improved upon.

For example, if a given candidate is small chested, breast augmentation is a slam dunk.

If she needs a little toning up, a personal trainer can get right on that.

If her teeth aren’t perfectly straight – or white – there’s a cosmetic dentist on every street corner.

But not everything can be fixed, so he throws the dice and hope she changes.

But most men of true means don’t have to hope for change because they can afford to purchase love like Gucci handbags.

It’s the guys who don’t have quite enough juice to keep the dice from bouncing of the walls every which way who sleep with one eye open.

Understand that the more money and power a man has, the more line items he can check.

As for these young women, did you know that most Americans haven’t been to Rome?

I know. It’s hard to believe.

The same applies to Aspen, Monaco, Paris and the Amalfi Coast.

Did you know that most young women do not own a Hermes handbag?

I’m serious!

So let’s say you’re a 29-year-old woman with looks to burn for the next 3 or 4 years, in a dead-end job, and dating a hot guy who’s sleeping with your best friend, but only when he’s on furlough from prison?

The guy is a derelict. He’s going nowhere but down, and you with him.

Enter a 55-year-old investment banker with class and charm and wit – and yes, money – and the derelict is a very distant memory.

These older men know their positions in the human food chain. They know what they can and cannot do, can and cannot have, and the women are no different.

In the absence of a prominent background and trust fund, the culturally average woman must leverage what she does have in order to acquire what she otherwise never will.

This does not mean that young women who choose to date older men are in it purely for the money. In fact, many fall deeply in love with their daddies.

This is the ideal scenario and it’s more common than you might imagine.

Remember the old expression: “Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears.”

So what happens to divorced women in their mid-40’s with kids and a heavy mortgage?

SCREWED.

What rich, powerful, handsome 45-year old guy wants a 45-year-old woman with kids?

He wants a 25-year-old fitness model with no kids and a penchant for travel.

The matchmaker offers these three alternatives:

1] Find a matchmaker who accepts women as clients

2] Join hobby groups

3] Get out of the house

I’ll add three more:

1] Get in the best shape of your life.

2] Make damn sure your teeth are straight and white

3] Find the best plastic surgeon in town for the necessary maintenance.

FINAL REMARKS

As I have said a millions times before, wealthy older women can always hire houseboys.

In fact, I have noticed an extraordinary rise in older women/younger men couplings due to lackluster economic conditions over the past 8 years.

Anorexia the Height of Achievement to Women of Means [and the go-to look for the affluent older men in their lives]

3a44935300000578-3955356-critics_say_celebrities_like_alexa_chung_33_-a-52_1479682994594Alexa Chung, 34.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3955356/Disturbing-rise-child-women-ve-seen-Alexa-Amal-waif-like-young-girl-look-VIP-achieve-price-health-copycat-fans.html

At my health club, there is a certain go-to look among the women of affluence: “Long, lean, timeless and elegant” is the way its described.

Bulky, curvy and/or overly muscled women are considered low class.

It’s a look relegated to strippers, sugar babies, and prostitutes for the most part.

But it can also include tattoo artists, bartenders, figure models, and “convention” girls hired to showcase things like expensive automobiles.

Thus, an incredibly thin body has become the new way to signal wealth and distinguish oneself from the masses.

“I’m successful, intelligent and at the top of my game…”

FACTOID

Alexa Chung Amal Clooney look so under-developed that, in some cases, critics say they appear pre-pubescent.

Some stars appear to have waists the same sizes as catwalk models, many of whom measure 24in — the same as an eight-year-old child.

BACK NOISE

Achieving this look suggests an abundance of leisure time, which is also important element in this equation, reinforcing the overall narrative.

One must spend hours honing their physiques at the gym, and “the income to maintain a fantastically expensive diet and exercise regime.”

Of course, pressure from outside sources as well as from their own personal relationships play a part.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
Many affluent older men I happen to know personally prefer this look in their women.

They see it as intelligent, sophisticated and timeless…kind of the way they see themselves.

The women, therefore, are reflections of their narcissistic projection.

A businessman wants to introduce a Stepford Wife to his colleagues because of what it conveys.

After all, no one could possibly suggest that she didn’t care about her appearance, or that she was unhappy at home…or depressed.

In fact, quite the opposite.

When a man introduces a woman who is curvy or in any way carrying extra baggage, the take-away is that he is less successful, less powerful.

Further to this is simple physics.

Smaller women are also easier to control in bed, thus reinforcing the man’s power and influence. As men age, they are less agile, which emaciation on the part of the partner mitigates.

And finally, there is the “pre-pubescent” thing.

I hate to dwell here, but in my view, many of these men secretly harbor a fetish for little girls. It’s kind of like statutory rape, only legal.

Seriously, why else would grown men prefer sleeping with someone who resembles a 12-year-old child?

How to Distinguish Steroid Users from Mortals

steroid-guy

If you’re a in the 45-65 demographic and spend a lot of your time in the gym, you will have noticed a proliferation of unbelievably shredded, ripped and insanely muscled guys.

There a reason for that, and spending time in the gym is only part of the story.

…………….

At 60, I’m smack in the middle of the Baby Boom.

I’m also very athletic, having spent most of my life practicing good nutrition, getting adequate rest, and going to the gym regularly.

But like I said, I’m 60, not 25.

More specifically, my body does not respond to movement and force the way it once did.

Does this mean I can no longer compete in sports, or that I look like crap?

No.

I still hold the USAPL title for the masters dead-lift at this writing.

But things do change.

I have to work harder to keep my belly fat in check. And while I’m still lean and muscular, I’m not shredded and cut.

Then there’s the whole energy thing, as in I don’t have as much of it as I once did.

I need more reset time, more recovery.

So what happens if i decide one day that I want to do triathlons, but still maintain muscle mass and strength? And while I’m at it that I also want a chiseled midsection and striated arms and legs?

Now I’ve got a problem because I no longer have the testosterone levels necessary to achieve all of that at the same time.

So like many men my age [myself excluded], there are scores of “wellness” clinics all over time where men can get prescriptions for “bio-identical” testosterone including a wide array of other “supplements.”.

Now I can run 5 miles a day, swim for an hour and do 3 hours on an exercise bike, while at the same time maintain mass.

See how this works?

You can have everything, be everything.

Of course, that’s not exactly the way it works because life on this highway is a bitch because you have to pay dearly to play.

………………

Without getting into all of the internal side-effects of the drugs, I’ll just focus on the things we can see:

1] The infamous ”big gut” or distended stomach.

bulging-bodybuilderA lot of steroid users look fat in spite of the fact that their bodyfat percentages are surprisingly low.

What causes the big guts is usually a combination of bother steroids and HGH [human growth hormone].

If someone uses HGH and/or insulin, you can be pretty damn sure that person is also on steroids … and god knows what else.

2] Disproportionate development of upper body muscles

traps

A steroid user’s upper body muscles (traps, shoulders, neck, pecs, back and especially lats) are often disproportionately large compared to his lower body musculature.

This is due to the fact that upper body muscles have more androgen receptors than other muscles that respond better to resistance training.

This is also why new steroid users see their shoulder, traps and back explode like atomic bombs in the first few steroid cycles.

Of course, leg and torso muscles grow as well but never as fast.

This is what causes the ”V-shape” in roid users who normally wouldn’t otherwise have the genetics to produce such a wide shoulder/thin waist proportionality.

Exceptions:

1] Some of us are born with incredibly good genetics, but there’s a difference between good genes and something preternatural, particularly in older men.

2] Some people only train upper body and never do legs, but again, it never, ever looks like steroids are the culprit. Those of us who are in the gym regularly know the difference, believe me.

3) Gynecomastia or Bitch Tits

What looks like the growth of female breasts in the below picture is due to the exogenous testosterone (from anabolic steroids) entering the body and converting to estrogen, estradiol through a process called aromatization, thanks to the enzyme aromatase.

ronnie-coleman-gynecomastia

4) Skin problems caused by steroid use

Levels of hormones such as testosterone play a significant role in sebaceous glands and potentially can cause acne outbursts, especially on the back.

Although many professional pretend to have it all figured out, acne is now well understood yet but it is well accepted that testosterone plays a role.

dennis-wolf-back-acne

4a] Stretch marks

stretch-marks-steroid-useStretch marks are not a direct side effect of steroid use.

During the first few steroid cycles and user goes through, diet and sleep staying in check, the user will experience explosive muscle growth.

Thus, the skin may not adapt quickly enough to this change, and therefore, permanent stretch marks will occur.

Normally they appear in the upper lats (on the sides), on the sides of the pectorals and sometimes on biceps.

5] Sudden increase in muscle mass after years of stagnation … or just being a little guy.

If you’ve been going to the same gym for while you get used to the same guys hitting the same machines every day without making any significant gains.

Then all of a sudden they lose all their fat and gain 25 pounds of muscle in 3 months.

On top of that they can train for two hours without getting tired or falling victim to over-training.

Now you know how this happens.

SUMMARY

Five good ways to recognize a steroid user :

Big guts or distended stomach;
Preferential development of the upper body muscles, especially lats;
Gynecomastia or bitch tits;
Stretch marks and/or acne;
Unreasonably fast body transformation.

Bottom line:

I don’t care what people do.

You’re not fooling any of us.

Be man enough to admit it.

The Forensics of Rich Older Men and the Young Women in Their Lives

390213131bafbab995f21931fac65102-2_zpsv9sdj7wu

“Hell yes, I’m down. No money. Psychiatric problems I can’t even pronounce. No job prospects. One foot in the gutter. So yea, that old man looks damn good at this point. What other choice do I have? It’s hell out here and I’m not getting any younger…”

…………..

After a certain point, relationships tend to be more about conscious asset balancing. This is not cynicism. It’s just another door to love, rather than the one we used when we were in our twenties.

Thus, when people see young women in the company of much older men, they see a very specific equation. But there’s often a lot more to it.

For example, let’s say an affluent man of 65 begins to see a woman of 35.

He may be in excellent physical health while she’s one foot under a bridge.

Men her age aren’t interested in her because she’s fallen through the cracks, in spite of a lingering beauty, unmistakable from days gone by.

Such men easily find others their own age who are successful attorneys, doctors, engineers and other gainfully employed professionals without the physical and psychiatric disabilities.

So she makes a conscious decision to do something about it by leveraging what she does have [youth and lingering beauty] against everything she doesn’t [the list is endless], and comes up with a man 30 years her senior willing to take her on in exchange for companionship and the prospect of real love.

He’s old and successful, she’s relatively young and broken, but with the proper care and financial resources he can rebuild a broken soul while satisfying his own needs at the same time.

She gets elaborate shelter, a constant resupply of meds, funds for medical check-ups, plastic surgery, fillers, Botox, travel and a closet full of designer clothing.

What’s not to love?

Over time she reemerges as someone else, a better her, the one she left behind a decade ago now on top of the human food chain.

And while she did, in fact, “sacrifice” years [Read: work], her efforts paid off handsomely.

Now you know why so many young women are in the company of rich older men, and why money is only part of the equation.

Confessions of a Recovering Middle-Age Exercise Addict

6c261afc-e516-11e5-9142-f1bda08aded3Yea, I was there.

Thankfully, I lived to tell the tale.

The following is a true story and the world I describe is an accurate portrayal of addiction in motion.

~~~

While not a standalone DSM-5 disorder, exercise dependence is closely associated with individuals who struggle with eating disorders, for example.

Many use exercise as a way to compensate for binge eating (bulimia nervosa) by tacking on extra activity to compensate for all the empty calories. It’s not like they’re gorging themselves on chicken breasts and broccoli for God’s sake.

Those with anorexia [extreme caloric limitation] use exercise in a compulsive way to control their weight.

Medical complications from exercise dependence are legion: Cardiovascular events like heart attacks and strokes, absence of menstration, stress fractures, osteoporosis and other overuse injuries.

While some don’t suffering clinical eating disorders, they may still engage in compulsive exercise, spending excessive time engaged in physical activity in the name of health – or to ward off uncomfortable feelings – clinical depression high up on the list of usual suspects.

Typically, these individuals feel guilty when they miss a workout and experience signs of withdrawal, like irritability, anxiety, or depression when their exercise schedules are compromised.

In my world [successful middle-aged urban men], this is considered normal and healthy.

I’m joking of course.

The following are the most common signatures of exercise addiction among older men:

1] If I don’t work out all the time I’m going to fall apart like everyone else my age.

2] If I skip a day, I feel like crap…both physically and psychologically.

3] Though I’m in denial, existential pain is a bitch, and working out 5 hours a day is healthier than heroin.

4] I want people to be proud of me, respect me, give me something I can no longer find within myself, like youth. 

5] My marriage is falling apart. What do you expect?

6] I may be gay after all…at 40 or 50 or 60 or 70…

7] When people ask me why I’m always at the gym, I tell them “what else do I have to do?” In addiction-speak: My world is devoid of balance.

Okay, you get the point. 

So which exercises are most closely associated with addiction?

ANYTHING INVOLVING EXTREME ENDURANCE, LIKE LONG-DISTANCE RUNNING, SWIMMING AND CYCLING.

As everyone in their right mind knows, strength training in combination with flexibility work, cardiovascular conditioning for no more than an hour at a time, combined with a weekly recovery schedule is the healthy way forward for all aging athletes, not 10k runs in 90 degree heat…week after week after week.

And people wonder why most top athletes drop out of Hell Week of SEAL training – and these people are already top athletes in their early 20’s.

I know. Reality is a bitch.

~~~

I used to be one of those people, training 3 hours a day, 7 days a week, and nothing whatsoever to talk about but diet and exercise.

We tend to feed the addiction through camaraderie with other addicts.

In psych circles it’s known as codependency.

But whatever you call it, my little party was about to end.

One week after my 49th birthday, I awoke from a fitful night’s sleep with a raging fever of 102 with extreme inflammation from head to toe.

I knew right away that Tylenol wasn’t going to cut whatever this was,  so I dragged myself to a nearby emergency room where I was diagnosed with Rhabdomyolysis [extreme muscle tissue breakdown that results in the release of a protein (myoglobin) into the blood], which can and will damage the kidneys if not contained.

Fortunately for me, I caught it just in time.

After I was stabilized, my personal physician and I had a heart to heart. he told me in no uncertain terms that I had to stay out of the gym for 30 days, get a personal trainer…and, if necessary, see a psychiatrist before it was too late.

I didn’t ask him to elaborate. I didn’t need to.

After a couple of weeks, the inflammation began to subside, but now depression took it’s place.

I felt like I was climbing out of my skin.

In drug addiction parlance, it’s referred to as the DT’s [drug withdrawal tremors].

While the actual symptoms are different, the downward spiral isn’t.

~~~

When I started with my trainer, the first lesson I had to learn was moderation.

This didn’t mean that my training wouldn’t be tough, but that it would take into account every aspect of what it means to be human.

1] I’m no longer 21.

2] Recovery is a critical component of performance. 

3] A balanced life is a life well lived. 

4] I will never be perfect, nor will anyone else. 

5] Life gives and takes, but mostly takes when you don’t respect its boundaries.

~~~

How did this happen to me?

It happened to me the same way it happens to everyone else: Over time exercise becomes a reliable escape from existential pain. 

You don’t have to take a pill or go to a therapist or even engage in discussions that lead to that rabbit hole of self awareness.

All you have to do is run, swim, bike, lift…crawl if you have to.

But nothing about extreme athletics is normal for anyone not involved in professional sports; particularly hitting the middle years and beyond.

After pulling through this nightmare myself, while at the same time losing close friends to exercise anorexia, I guess you could say I’m a bit resentful of the denial.

~~~

ARTICLES WORTH READING:

http://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/special-issues/athletes/long-distance-runners-high-risk-to-develop-eating-disorder

http://breakingmuscle.com/endurance-sports/endurance-training-is-bad-for-your-heart

http://www.businessinsider.com/is-short-intensity-exercise-better-than-endurance-training-2015-1

I could go on and on and on and on.

But I’ve known junkies who’ve wanted to kill me over a conversation, so for many, this is an exercise in futility.

“Love is a Concept Invented by Poor People…” Seeking Arrangement Founder, Brandon Wade

this-mit-nerd-built-a-sugar-baby-dating-empire-that-some-say-is-simply-prostitution

“By encouraging people to find and negotiate an arrangement, we hope to create modern relationships based on open-mindedness, open communication, brutal honesty and transparent expectations.”

“This is the future of dating.” BW

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/25/opinion/seeking-arrangement-ceo-on-love/

Ashley reminds me of someone I once dated, also an entrepreneur.

~~~

Now understand something here: The woman posing with Mr. Wade in the above photo would have no problem waltzing right over his dead body if he weren’t filthy rich.

I don’t mean this in any negative way, but Mr. Wade had to make himself valuable in order to earn visibility, which everyone understands and appreciates.

This revelation set him ablaze with passion to acquire the one asset that would act as a carbon credit for whatever he lacked elsewhere.

Next thing you know, he goes meteoric and declares “love is a concept created by the poor!” before heading off to CNN for an interview.

By the way, a rough translation of his statement is If you don’t have money, no one will love you, which is why poor people created it in the first place. 

Okay. Whatever. I get it. We get it. Pretty much all of us, really.

Baby Boomers like myself suffer physical attrition after enough water’s under the bridge.

Fortunately, though, many of us are able to leverage money and power against the cost of aging and manage to stay square with the gods.

Now you know why seekingarrangement.com claims 1.9 million subscribers…and climbing.

On a general note, there is absolutely nothing novel about prostitution.

Whether you couch it as “Hey, I just need a little help with college,” or “Hey, want a blowjob?” you’re still hooking.

Having said this, everything these days is relative.

Just how relative depends on the price tag.

The more you spend, the more normal everything seems.

On a related note, most of the women my peers end up with are passed from one older man to the next within their own immediate peer group.

This is because the women in question are known commodities who’ve been properly vetted, and therefore, predictable within reason.

The downside is that there is often a limited supply of such women within certain demographics, which usually triggers bidding wars resulting in some of the best television fodder on the planet.

 

Affluent 50 to 60-Something Men Still Choose Beauty First

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“…all older women hear (and thus believe) that older men are only looking for much younger women. OK, many of them are. But are they getting them? Not really, unless they’re wealthy and powerful. (And I have always believed that it’s good to identify those men and remove them from the 50-something dating pool ASAP; I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck!”). Vicki Larson, journalist

I hate to tell you people this, but a simple fact can save you a lot of heartache:

Reasonably attractive, healthy and successful older men have lots of choices when it comes to choosing partners.

Too many, in most cases, which is why so many of them are single or serial monogamists, the emphasis on serial.

~~~

When it gets down to it, money and power are the great equalizers.

Conversely, youth and beauty are also commodities openly traded on the human stock exchange.

Whether you’re young or old, you have different assets to barter, but something is always for sale.

Most of the older successful guys I know have an exacting set of standards they apply to the acquired women in their lives.

These are the very same standards, by the way, they applied to their ex-wives before they divorced them 20 years later.

The fact is successful men prefer to date younger women is because THEY CAN.

Generally speaking, women over the age of 17 are not attracted to youth.

They’re attracted to confidence and power.

Therefore when a beautiful woman in her 20s or 30s meets a man who is in his 50s, with the world in the palm of his hands, it’s sexy and alluring to her.

His age becomes irrelevant.

Walk into any upscale restaurant or bar and what you will see are drop-dead gorgeous women accompanying successful older men.

These women were not forced at gunpoint, believe me.

To many men I know, it’s almost irrelevant whether these women are truly in love with them or merely out to make better lives for themselves.

It matters that they are in the company of a beautiful, intelligent and uncomplicated young woman.

The rest they leave to a suspension of disbelief.

She is everything their wives once were before time took its pound of flesh and soul.

No wonder so many middle aged women without much to leverage scream and yell about all of this.

But put them in the position to do what these young women are doing and you wouldn’t hear a peep.

The fact is average men and women receive average returns, and exceptional beauty and youth will always win out where successful older men are concerned.

Is it fair?

No.

But pretending that “real men” don’t want younger women is delusion. That they want an equal is naive at best, disastrous at worst.

According to one NYC matchmaker, this is the normal course of things:

“I recently had a 78-year-old client who wouldn’t even consider a woman older than 50. If you are 25 years old as you are reading this, let me put this in perspective: That would be like dating a 55-year-old.

That brings me to why I can’t take on women as clients; and no, misogyny has nothing to do with it. In this tough singles market, if a man pays top dollar for a matchmaker, he expects nothing less than a 29-year-old model.  As a result, I cannot find a husband for a 47-year-old schoolteacher with two kids and three mortgages.”

So where do relatively pretty, average 40-plus women find men of means?

They don’t.

What they can and do find are men of equal value, which is not a particularly palatable prospect for most.

My recommendation to such women:

1] Join a book club.

2] Enroll in a continuing education class at a local college.

3] Attend art openings.

4] Get out of the house – maximize exposure.

5] Go back to therapy.

Nature is neither kind nor compassionate, but the good news is that there are exceptions to every rule.

Just not very many.

The “Gala”

11208572_961573263894048_1576230664_nThere was a time not long ago when I loved being the center of attention.

“Flatter flatter flatter!”

I was struggling through an endless series of speed bumps to nowhere that I medicated into oblivion through fleeting relationships and, still people clapped.

Of course, I was young and handsome and well spoken, and therefore, “in demand” as such things go.

These assets alone eclipsed whatever was absent everywhere else, as evidenced in the hostess-CEO paradigm.

So like others of my kind, I let the endorphin rushes fuel fantasies of where my new encounters might lead…night after night after night.

But as time passed and my career grew, I found that I needed more tangible affirmation in order to maintain self-esteem.

I was getting older and youth was no longer the hook. So what was?

It had to come from within, but how? as the need for external affirmation felt like an addiction to painkillers?

Where was that now lost screw that kept the joints rattling?

I was becoming unhinged.

Then, in my mid 50’s, I started coming out of it.

I was one of the lucky ones, as others around me lost everything to time, desperate moves and bad luck.

As cliché as it sounds, I began to find meaning in sharing my life with someone else, and everything else started to fade.

I started to find that going back to the social till bled a little more of me, leaving me empty and unfulfilled.

While I still appreciated public acknowledgement of my work, I saw it all very differently, as simple self-expression, a way of working through issues in my life, rather than a veiled quest for self-aggrandizement.

I know that for the most part, praise is just posturing, something people feel compelled to express in a particular social context.

But what really mattered to them was money and power.

Even when they are genuinely impressed with an artist’s work, their feelings are ephemeral, fleeting and largely meaningless.

They will move on to the next cocktail function, cherry-pick another item of interest, and on it will go, forever.

In the end, no one really cares unless they receive something of equal measure.

For most it’s the public acknowledgement that they are of powerful social standing, transcendent of art.

In their minds, they are the bedrock, the unassailable…oligarchs of an otherwise trivial world.

Of course, challenges do arise [to my great amusement], particularly when such people are in the company of the equally rich and very famous.

I love all the fraying at the edges of vanity as they maneuver themselves back into the ring.

We all find our niches in the world, places that affirm us, reflect our standings and values, that don’t obliterate our self-esteem.

I live in a neighborhood of my peers, and spend time socializing with people who, for the most part, share my values, beliefs and social standing.

I no longer need or want anything from anyone else.

I’m not here to take, but to share.

I have already paid my dues many times over and no longer walk into a situation with my hands out.

If people like what they see, if it has some meaning for them, great.

Either way, I am no longer willing to sell myself for anyone’s approval.

Socialites do what they do for personal gain.

Whether it’s Look at me, how wealthy I am, how extravagant my clothing, how elite my connections…or…How the hell do I get into this club so I can move out of my apartment, it’s a game I’m no longer willing to play.

For those of you who wish to gain access to the right parties, hosted by the right people with an eye on their bank accounts, you know where to go and what to do.

Bullet Points of Interest:

1] People tend to do what they do for personal gain, even when they are the ones “giving.”

2] Nothing is ever free, even when people are throwing something at you. 

3] Life is about checks and balances, usually literally.

4] People you like are usually those you’ve vetted over time, not people you meet at cocktail functions.

5] Fund raisers are usually a subtle dance around who’s got the biggest “dick,” both men and women.

6] Hanger’s on are like sous-chefs waiting for the big dog to fall into a vat of boiling grease.

7] Art is worth nothing to most people unless Christie’s auctions it.

8] Opportunism is gaining access to something you can’t find within yourself.

9] Everyone uses everyone for everything on some level, even if it’s a good laugh. So it’s all about levels.

10] While socialites serve a useful purpose in society, nobody cares who they are if they’re not raining money.

Venting is cathartic. It’s why I write and shoot pictures.