So let’s say you’re an attractive 30-year-old woman who’s fallen for a man of 60.
While it may provide shelter from the storm of corporate climbing and adolescent pack animals, it’s not all roses.
There are inherent risks, difficulties, and pitfalls that may prove impossible to overcome.
But most women I know who find themselves in such relationships know exactly what they’re getting themselves into, and won’t leave without a severance package or SWAT standoff.
An older man may find himself in the position of surrogate parent if the younger woman is substantially younger, or the man is more traditional and/or less fluid in his approach to life.
If, for example, he spent his entire career surrounded by corporate types, adhering to stodgy cultural norms, his ability to communicate with a creative Millennial, for example, may prove impossible.
On the other hand, if he’s lead guitarist for a major rock group or an A-list actor, she’ll assume the role of surrogate parent.
Strong, Powerful Men Didn’t Get to Where They Are by Accident
Older men may have mellowed somewhat with age and maturity, but this mild-mannered guy is only a cover for a ruthless and aggressive nature that got them to where they are in life. In other words, the nice house didn’t happen without a fight.
This usually means that as long as everything is going well, you get the cool older guy. But the moment the shit hits the skids, you get a first hand look at human predation from the perspective of prey. Men will defend and protect their financial interests and prosperity over all else in their lives, including you.
Of course, gorillas do the same damn thing, so it’s not exactly news.
Taming and Older Man is a Ludicrous Pursuit
Why women like to fix older men is beyond me. I can understand trying to get a 25-year-old guy to get out of bed in the mornings, and to get a life. But older men have been there, and at this stage of the game don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about their lifestyle habits.
He’s already self-sufficient. He doesn’t need you to pave the way forward. You can’t cut him off from his friends, or interests, or in any way undermine his life. It’s already worked for him. His entire psychological framework is built around decades of experience. Give it up.
If You’re Seeing a Married Man, Love Isn’t Enough to Shake the Tree
The married guys I know with “women-on-the-side” like the no-strings-attached erotic sex, even the fantasy that love plays a major role in all of it. But understand that it’s still fantasy. All of it. Your best bet is to find a recently divorced older man of affluence, or just go the married route in exchange for college tuition and be done with it. Graduate programs run 50k. Get real.
The Sexual Equation
No matter how successful and older man is he cannot reverse the aging process. Understand that as you turn a year older he turns 7 years older [after a certain point in life]. So if you want to build a long-lasting relationship with him, you better make damn sure your sexual rhythms and desires are on the same page.
While adventure and passion are still very much on the table, things will eventually change.
Of course, it’s also important to keep in mind that a young man will eventually get bored with you, especially after he’s achieved success in his 40’s, and will often replace you with someone half your age that he won’t be bored with. It’s a cycle that tends to repeat itself a few go-rounds in life.
In my case, the woman in my life’s parents refused to speak to me for the first 3 years of our relationships, assuming that I was buying her love, and at the same time, stealing her youth and opportunity.
Thankfully, it passed and we now have a wonderful relationship. But it was awkward. Be prepared for that.
Completely Different Entertainment Preferences
In many cases, taste in music is a major marker of significant age differences. In my own relationship, though, our tastes were identical. In fact, she had more Zeppelin albums than I did. Another ironic twist of fate was that I was the one going out every night of the week, while she preferred evenings at home watching TV, painting or video editing.
I could argue that she made me grow up, and that all had to do was provide financial stability, love and commitment in exchange for a more adult lifestyle. It was a small price to pay, and probably paid for itself given my wayward leanings.
Affluent older men do NOT choose women unless they’re prostitutes. It’s the other way around. This is one of life’s biggest misconceptions about the older man/younger woman paradigm.
This being the case, she will decide whether or not she can handle the difference in age, the disparity between their respective success and power, his intransigence, the sex and whether or not he knows – or gives a crap about – Taylor Swift.