Obviously, people have nothing better to do with their time.
It’s always great to see my contemporaries still kicking ass and taking names.
While Mickey is often maligned for his sense of style, I still see a lot of balls in his immutable swagger.
In the end, he’s having fun, and at this point, that’s all that matters.
Anyone who’s had any exposure to people of means knows that any physical resemblance to average people is a stretch.
For example, it is not uncommon for 50-year-old women to look younger than her actual years.
No lines, exceptionally fit, tanned and polished to perfection.
This takes time, money and the right culture group to keep them motivated.
And believe me when I tell you, what they have to lose by not keeping themselves in exemplary condition far outweighs the alternative.
Having said all of this, as a veteran of these byways, I can spot a 50 or 60 year old women a mile off.
Sure, they look great for their age, and certainly better than their less well off contemporaries. But make no mistake about it: they still look 50 or 60.
So while Ms. Brinkley looks great for her age, she is still 62 no matter how great she looks for 62.
The same applies to me, by the way.
We look great by comparison to others, but we’re still where we are no matter what any plastic surgeon has to say about it.
In my world, well maintained women of 50 look great.
50, still. But great.
And while, by comparison to average women, they look years younger, I can see them coming and going.
Problems arise when women lose touch with what people around them actually see when they look at them.
It’s kind of like older men in arrested adolescence who express shock when women half their age call them daddy.
Self-actualization is a hard pill to swallow, and it cuts both ways.
This is why therapy should be a part of maintenance. alongside dental visits and annual physicals.
Inter-generational dating, mating and marriage edges closer to “normal and well-adjusted.”
Soon, no one will even bother to ask.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed that you’re older than you used to be.
With this in mind, here are a few things you can do to improve your situation:
1] Accept the fact that media and reality are two entirely different things, even if you’re the only one buying it.
2] Understand that your sense of relevance is tied to the health of both your physical body and your financial portfolio in equal measure.
3] Know that dating beautiful young women is a minefield, not because they’re difficult to find, but because they’re difficult to read.
4] Understand that women who embrace their own objectivity will expect you to pay for it.
5] Look at life more from the perspective of a human food chain and you’ll find love in the most unexpected places.
6] Embrace psychotherapy when you feel uncomfortable talking to anyone else, but understand that it can be as addictive as heroin, and sometimes, just as expensive.
7] Practice mindfulness before delusion plays stand in for sanity.
8] Realize that life doesn’t care about you, so you have to figure our how to care about yourself. It still won’t care, but whatever.
9] Accept the fact that not taking your meds is the same as committing infidelity.
10] Worrying about not achieving your New Year’s resolutions is worse than simply not achieving them, so think carefully before committing to anything.
Now you have 10 New Year’s resolutions that will serve you better than diets and exercise by a factor of 1000.
Does anyone actually believe that a bunch of rich and entitled Baby Boomer rock stars could create The Dark Side of the Moon?
The following is a list of 10 Boomers who followed a similar fate:
1] David Bowie
2] Mick Jagger
3] Eric Clapton
4] Robert Plant
5] Jimmy Page
6] Bob Dylan
7] Billy Joel
8] Elton John
9] Alice Cooper
10 Neil Young.
Obviously, there’s something to be said for youth and immortality, in spite of the contradiction in terms.
I was scouring the web for inspirational articles covering training regimens for masters athletes – and let me tell you – there aren’t many.
Instead, what I came across this absurd piece written by two 20-year-olds who went on to win a contest for their advice to older men and women.
Here’s a teaser on the topic of cardio: The American College of Sports Medicine recommends working at a level that is “hard enough to raise your heart rate and break a sweat,” but still allows one “to carry on a conversation.” This ensures that the body is being stimulated but not so intensely that there is a risk of overexertion.
Comment: If I can carry on a conversation while doing cardio, I’m not training. [Note to you 20-year-olds on your Iphones while walking on treadmills].
“Because hypertrophy and maximal force production are not likely to be goals for the 60 and up crowd, free weights and muscle specialization will not be necessary.”
Really? Says who?
As a 60-year-old power-lifter and cross-fit enthusiast, I train primarily with free weights because they allow my entire body to participate in the stabilization process. I also focus on certain muscle groups that help protect my body when lifting heavy.
No wonder I don’t have back problems. People who tend to sit on machines all day do. So yes, hypertrophy is a big deal as is maximal force production.
“While teens may be able to handle three days of lifting per week with seven days of cardio, this is not realistic for older adults.”
I train with weights 3 days a week and incorporate 5 days of cross-fit style cardio. I take the weekends off because i have a life outside the gym. And by the way, most teens can’t keep up with my workouts.
“Intensity, too is different [for older athletes], as more tender joints and less conditioned lungs and other muscles are potential issues for older adults to consider.”
While joint pain is always making itself known in one area or another, it’s been doing the same thing since college. So I just work around it until it heals.
“While free weights are often favored by serious gym-goers and exercise enthusiasts, machines are preferable for older adults.”
I don’t know anyone my age at my gym who doesn’t use free weights.
“Machine movements do not rely on stabilizing muscles as much, which is important as older adults may be somewhat deconditioned and will not have sufficiently developed muscles for complex free weight exercises.”
It is true that some adults are deconditioned, but for those of us who train regularly, this is simply not applicable.
“At the age of 60, the body is mostly incapable of building large quantities of new muscle.”
This has to be the most ridiculous comment I have ever read.
“The main goal of working out should be to build some strength and reduce the risk for disease (primarily heart disease). Therefore, a workout should simply be to get the blood flowing and to build some strength without causing any serious injury in the process.”
If my trainer ever said this to me, I’d fire him.
“Supplementing protein shakes is unnecessary and pointless. At this age, the body can’t digest and absorb protein easily, which will result in excess bodily waste and weight gain from supplementation.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry for this little idiot.
20-year-olds haven’t a clue about fitness routines for adult athletes, nor do they have any knowledge of our psychological predispositions.
In my gym, I routinely challenge college kids to jump in with me for sets, but so many have suffered injuries that they rarely show up anymore.
So, what REALLY are the best workouts for baby Boomers?
ANSWER: It’s a rhetorical question.
When I’m at the gym training, older people [my age and much older] look at me like I’m out of my mind.
They’re only partly right.
I am driven to perform in an abnormal way for men my age.
I guess they assume I a recovering drug addict swapping addictions, or someone in therapy.
Like I said, partly right.
Long story short, I’m an outsider in every sense of the word.
First, my workouts look like actual workouts, rather than strolls around a track on a failing hip, porous bones, and bulging discs.
Some refer to such people as blood sacks.
To the point, I could trip and fall in the gym and the worse case scenario might be a spilled sports drink, not the complete annihilation of my skeletal structure – hence blood sack.
This is where you want to be at this stage of the game.
Then there’s the mental toughness that working out reinforces.
You feel in possession of yourself and relevant in the context of survival.
This is a big deal to older men, believe me.
If you feel weak, you feel irrelevant no matter what else you have going on in your favor.
While success is a great thing, success and good health are better.
Just ask anyone who doesn’t have either, or both.
A 2014 article in the Huffington Post written by Arlene Schindler suggests that older women should explore their bisexuality as an alternative to their oftentimes frustrating experiences with men.
One path is referred to as “affectional bonding” or AB.
No wonder they outlive us.
The findings of the latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (NATSAL) reveals that the number of women reporting same-sex partners has increased from 1.8% to 7.9% over the past 20 years. Sexual lifestyles in Britain have changed substantially in the past 60 years, with changes in behavior seeming to be greater in women than men, most notably the continuation of sexual activity into later life.
After enough time passes and older women find themselves unable to establish relationships with quality, age appropriate men, “affectional bonding” begins to make sense.
According to the article, most women are already naturally bi-curious when it comes to sex; 60 percent were sexually attracted to other women; 45 percent had kissed a woman and 50 percent had fantasies about the same sex. This suggests that women may be more capable of finding people attractive, no matter what orientation they claim. Additionally, it becomes more pronounced as they get older. Approaching mid-life, “AB” makes a lot of sense.
And now, for the anti-male punchline:
Ladies, tired of the hairy chest? Try the softer touch. Has erectile dysfunction got you down and disappointed? Try reframing your options. With affectional bonding, enjoy everything you ever wanted without the messy clean-up.
You can read the rest of the article for yourself and draw your own conclusions.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you know by now that nothing is a panacea.
Single-hood is tough because you feel emotionally disconnected from the world. It can drain your spirit, fracture your faith in humanity, jade your perceptions.
But the same can be said of toxic relationships.
So we struggle to find balance no matter where it takes us.
Having said this, for men in my particularly peer group, I suggest you contact your attorney and investment counselor before doing anything where the consequences are more expensive than a transient escape.