Midlife Not for the Faint of Heart

51ctbFYhkWL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_“Out here on the perimeter, there are no stars…” Jim Morrison

Yea, no shit.

The following is an excerpt from my new book, Urban Dystrophy, now available on Amazon.

It’s probably a familiar narrative to many of you:

“I’m sitting at a white plastic table in front of a wine bar. It’s one o’clock on a Tuesday morning and an empty parking lot is the only landscape. The streets are deserted. Most guys my age are asleep. Their time came and went, and they let go in that unconscious way most men do when their stories have been told and the end is a long, drawn-out epitaph.

But, I stayed behind, along with the rest of the itinerants of the night. I have no place to go that I haven’t already been, and nothing to do but wait and hope and sometimes pray for mercy that relevance and that one big love will one day redeem me, but it never does. Not really.

We’re beyond salvation. Most of us. There have been exceptions, but the grace is never a hundred percent and you have to make peace with that the best you can. We’re members of the bitten, the damned, the fighters against the forces of time until we no longer can. Most of us are children of narcissists, narcissists who never died because narcissists never do—they’re just recycled and the kids are left to clean up the mess.

I wonder where all the time went. Time is all I have left to make a final stand. I remember my first midlife crisis at 28. The rest is a blur. Decades came and went. Now I can’t even remember yesterday, much less last week.

Urban Dystrophy


Back to the Future


Clint Eastwood, happy 85th


William Shatner, happy 84th


The man you now know as “Raymond Reddington,” happy 55th


Chevy Chase, happy 71st

enhanced-buzz-32285-1342373764-0Gary Oldham, happy 57th

Robert Redford, happy 78th


enhanced-buzz-17934-1342378691-2Martin Sheen, happy 74th


enhanced-buzz-11135-1342378579-0Jeff Bridges, happy 65th


1930807_1053689856082_8772_nJay Rusovich [me], happy 59th


When I was growing up this is what these guys looked like, myself included.

We no longer look this way, but it’s important to note that all of us travel through life in the same progression.

We all know what youth looked and felt like, because at one time, we were also maladjusted teenagers pulling figure-8’s on someone’s golf course in the middle of the night.

I bring this up also because in spite of the fact that youth is still a middle-aged man’s most precious commodity, I never appreciated it until it was gone.

Now I pay through the teeth for it.

Notice: My Revised Fine Art Photography Site, www.jayrusovich.com, is Now Live.


recreationfifteenRecreation, 2005

From my first book, Insideout, available on Amazon.



Just Released! Urban Dystrophy: Now Formatted Across All Platforms!


Now available on Amazon!

Ballsy, hardcore and bad ass real as it gets.

Print version to follow.

Knock yourselves out, and please review it should you feel so inclined!