Sharp Increase in Older Men Going Under the Knife


While there has only been a two percent overall increase in plastic surgeries from 2009 to 2010, the number of male cosmetic procedures have increased dramatically, say statistics from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS).

The number of liposuction procedures performed on men rose seven percent, and the number of male facelifts doubled, by 14 percent.

Why such a relatively high increase in male procedures? 

1[ Economic woes [i.e., keeping their jobs]

2] Media bombardment [i.e., if you can afford to look your best, why not?]

People often consider cosmetic procedures to be just for women, says northern CA-based men’s mental health expert Will Courtenay, PhD, LCSW, and author of Dying to Be Men.

Just as sex roles between men and women are changing—more fathers are active parents than they used to be, he maintains—so is interest in cosmetic surgery.  “The fact is, manhood in America is changing rapidly,” Courtenay tells demo dirt. “And at least one in four men says he’d consider cosmetic surgery. And another one in five says he might. And for men, it’s often about staying in the race.” 

Washington, DC-based facial plastic surgeon Houtan Chaboki, MD says that he has noticed an increase in men getting procedures, even though they still comprise less than ten percent of cosmetic patients.

Most common, he notes, is rhinoplasty, which people get for various reasons.

However, the fastest growing market is face lift surgery, Chaboki says.

“More men seeking plastic surgery want to appear younger and compete in the workplace,” he says.

“Some working men who actually feel full of energy have the perception that others at work may see them as older, [and] less adaptable to change in a fast-moving economy.”

Dermatologist Debra Jaliman, MD started doing Botox in 1991 and says that more and more men have been requesting the treatment, among other things.

“I find that now many years later more men are doing Botox and fillers and lasers and freezing their fat, “she says.

Jaliman agrees that the main reason is the economy.  “We are in a competitive business environment and it’s also become more acceptable,” she adds.

The problems emerge when cosmetic surgery can’t remedy deeper-rooted self-esteem issues.

“Cosmetic surgery can be a misguided attempt to feel better,” Courtenay maintains. “Research shows that men who are dissatisfied with their physical appearance are more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and depression. So, for these men, cosmetic surgery may make them look better, but they won’t feel better.”

The best surgery candidate, Courtenay says, is a man who is generally secure already.  


Whether it’s to gain that competitive edge, or just bolster an already healthy self-esteem, nips and tucks appear are the way forward for most urban men I know.

Get used to it. I have.

Nothing is as it seems anywhere, anymore.

Baby Boomer Suicide Rate Rising [as funds for concubines dries up]


The recent Great Recession was hard on almost everyone, but especially baby boomers [generation born between 1946-1964] who had decades of savings to invest.

Side note: Money is supposed to fill in all the existential angst after life exacts its pound of flesh and leaves us with less physical relevance. 

Thus, it’s no surprise that a rising number of middle-aged people of that generation resorted to suicide as the weight of economic problems overwhelmed them.

Since that time baby boomers have had the highest rate of suicide of any age group in the United States, which is interesting given the fact that people between the ages of 40 and 64 have historically had one of the lowest rates.

Add to this conundrum the fact that baby boomers are now sliding head long into the over-65 demographic, which is ground zero for historically high suicide rates.

Put another way, if you don’t have money at this writing, you’re pretty much screwed.

According to the article, since the beginning of the Great Recession, 8.8 million jobs were lost, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Middle-aged people were disproportionately affected in terms of lost property value, household finances, and lost retirement savings.

Twenty-seven percent of those aged 50 to 64 experienced reduction in salaries, higher than any other age group.

On a related note, of those baby boomers who committed suicide from 2005 to 2010, 81 percent had prior mental health or substance abuse problems.

Although suicides for baby boomers could level out as the economy improves, experts say the fact this generation is entering older age is worrisome.

So now even if you have money, you’re too old to really enjoy it.

The key is not to let things get to a point of escalation. When people are suicidal, they’re rigid and not thinking clearly.

Dr. Jill Harkavy-Friedman, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention says, “The key is not to let things get to a point of escalation. When people are suicidal, they’re rigid and not thinking clearly.”

But she is wrong. They are thinking very clearly, which is the problem.

How do you talk an 80-year-old man without money out of hanging himself?

It doesn’t make sense. The man is thinking quite rationally, in my view. What’s the point of going on if you’re broke, and, for all intents and purposes, broken physically?

Is there any hope?

Not really.

From personal experience, I can give you 10 things older men [those over 65] can do to dramatically improve their mental health –– but we’re talking about older men who don’t have to worry about their next meal.

For such men, hope is everywhere because they can afford it.

More specifically, here are 10 ways to insure that it sticks around a long time:

1] Hit the gym on a daily basis, interact with people, and reduce stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which create feelings of happiness and euphoria without heroin. It also boosts self-esteem by providing a sense of physical relevance and self-possession that other older men lose along the way.

2] Check your testosterone levels. At this stage of the game “normal” levels probably aren’t enough. So boost them. Even if it leads to premature death, what the hell difference does it make is all you’re doing is dying in slow motion?

3] Be sexually active. If you’re bored with your wife, figure out how not to be bored with her. If she’s not interested, hire a surrogate wife. Many women I know provide “girlfriend experiences” with a full rate schedule they keep on Ipads. Many keep them in their gym bags. And for God’s sake, get a scrip for ED medication if you think you need it. Most 25-year-olds are using it, so why not you?

 4] Don’t shy away from cosmetic improvements. If your teeth look like crap, fix them. If your jaws are hanging like liver from the sides of your face…facelift! Then there are fillers, micro-dermabrasion…I could go on. Just do it.

5] If you drive a Buick la Sabre, I can’t help you. 



6] Do something you’ve always wanted to do, but for whatever reason haven’t. Nobody’s going to care if you decide to go back-packing in Yosemite after spending 40 years behind a desk. 

 7] When was the last time you went clothes shopping? Seriously. Most older men look old because they dress like people who should already be dead. Thus, I suggest you let your “girlfriend” decide what to buy. Pink pleated pants and golfing shirts are now customary attire for the dead at wakes, fyi.

8] Spend time around younger people whenever possible. It has been demonstrated time and time again that people become conditioned to their surroundings, which should not include graveyards and hospitals.

9] Stop talking about your aches and pains, and for God’s sake avoid the obituaries. Nobody wants to hear about your aging joints because only old people have aching joints no matter how ridiculous this sounds. And talking about the death of anyone but, for example, an otherwise youthful and healthy downhill skier is a buzzkill.  

10] If you take yourself way too seriously and can’t remember the last time you laughed, you’re like the guy with the Buick.

I’ll give you 10 more in upcoming blogs…

According to Millennials, Baby Boomers Ruined America


The following is one of many articles condemning the Baby Boom generation for what its author considers to be our unfair advantages and “Screw you, I got mine” attitude.

Truth is, everyone holds the same opinion when they’re on the wrong side of the dime.

It’s human nature to protect what you have to prevent someone else from taking it, like your broker or ex-girlfriend.

This is one reason I make sure and feed our dogs from two separate plates [they refuse to eat out of dog bowls].

If I feed them from the same one, and they’ll either fight for the larger portion, or you’ll notice behavior similar to what happens when you turn your back on your wallet at a Stop-and-Go.

It is with this in mind that I think people who hate on the Boomers suffer from Freudian projection [… a defense mechanism in which one attributes to others one’s own unacceptable or unwanted attributes, thoughts, or emotions].

The author of this piece of projected gutter tripe is Alexander S. Balkin, a whiny, pissed off millennial scribe who can’t keep his mouth shut about the Big Bad Boomers who are directly responsible for keeping him locked in his mother’s basement.

When I read crap like this, I can’t help but post refutations like this:

Here’s a salient quote from the article:

“If I had one piece of advice for the likes of Balkin and his compatriots, it would be to put down the Ipods, smart phones and Twitter access and head to the library to do some serious reading: on history, politics and economics especially. To see first hand how you got to where you are without having to rely on simplistic scapegoats….like a whole generation. Knowledge is the key to your liberation, not picking on a large group that in many ways has been victimized as much or worse than you and for a longer time.”

I live with a millennial who is also my girlfriend of 5 years.

We’re a generation apart…close to two.

Like most millennials, she’s tech-savvy, and yes, arguably addicted to her phone.

While I prefer conversation, she communicates in bits and pieces of code, which she and her friends attempt to tie together into one cohesive thought.

Thankfully, we like the same music and TV shows.

This notwithstanding, we are a couple. Millennial and Baby Boomer under one roof.

The truth is that most generations share more than they care to admit, and, of course, most blame the other for problems neither one was entirely responsible for.

Time works that way. It’s a continuum. Things that came before pave the way for things ahead and so on.

When I was a kid it may have been easier to get a job because there were more of them.

Most of what was manufactured in the world was manufactured here, not everywhere else.

In this sense the world was a lot smaller.

And believe me it felt very that way, particularly when you stop to consider that the technology we carry around with us everywhere we go was non-existent.

Hell, if a World War broke out we’d have to wait to find out about it from the evening news.

But while things were different, they were not different enough to warrant all the vile banter.

If – at gunpoint – I had to identify one “flaw” in millennials, it would be their sense of entitlement.

This generation grew up in a world of media, foisting it’s own brand of reality onto a world of consumers starving for soundbites.

We learned all about the lives of multi-millionaire rock star celebrities with private jets and mansions on several continents that appeared to outnumber cockroaches as a percentage of the global population.

But in all the selling, this generation found itself with its hands out.

It sucks, really, because no one ever bothered to tell them that media is driven by one thing and one thing only: Money.

Guess which generation made it the focal point of out lives?

Fitness: ‘Magic Pill’ Against Mid-Life Depression

Worried Male


When you get older, you expect to be depressed.

By “older” I’m referring to Baby Boomers stuck between the 3rd and final chapters, or Purgatory in the absence of an obituary notice.

But I’m hopeful because I have one weapon up my sleeve capable of blowing a gaping hole in hell…


In the minds of many, however, what I undergo is hell.

But as everyone knows, if you want to stop feeling like crap you have to punish yourself.

Eventually, you’ll learn to enjoy it like the rest of us.

It’s kind of like healthy eating. You learn to appreciate the way clean food makes you feel, rather than focus on its taste.

Soon, you’ll convince yourself that steamed quinoa tastes better than a Big Mac.

As implausible as this may sound, it is critical that you embrace certain delusions at any and all cost.

Understand that nature wants you dead. Thus, it’s your job to earn it’s respect in order to stay alive.

Many guys throw in the towel because it’s just too much on top of everything else.

But there is nothing else without it.


The 60’s All Over Again


Flash-back to a time in history where members of the counterculture movement expressed their beliefs about property ownership by destroying others ’ property, building fences around said property, and living in communes with shared possessions.

Yea, that went well.

Today the same dynamic exists.

The human food chain marches on, fueled by those who proclaim solidarity with “duh people” only to steal it by using them as leverage and then consolidating personal power at their expense.

People fall for this crap all the time, which begs the question, why have they not been bred out of the human gene pool?

Back in the the day, the ones who survived all the street riots and general unrest went on to make fortunes, built mansions with walls and security cameras, and kick everyone out but hired help and mistresses.

So basically, nothing’s changed.

“Lyin’ Eyes” Reinterpreted

Don Henley was 28 when he and 27-year-old Glenn Frey wrote Lyin’Eyes.

The year was 1975.

The story goes that they were in their favorite LA restaurant/bar Dan Tana’s where they watched beautiful young women hitting on rich, older married men and decided to write about it.

From the vantage point of men in their 20’s, I can certainly understand their passionate disdain, as they felt entitled to the attention by virtue of youth alone.

Nonetheless, fast-forward to today’s urban world and I will comment on each verse from the perspective of an older man:


City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won’t have to worry
She’ll dress up all in lace and go in style


City girls know exactly what they doing, which is why many of them are among the 1% without so much as a G.E.D., or discernible profession. 

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice


I have yet to meet a gold-digger who was unhappy in a 10 million dollar home. Not one. Furthermore, most don’t care what’s in a John’s heart, or even that he has one, as long as she gets to travel. Put another way, it’s a symbiotic relationship.

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who’s feelin’ down
But he knows where she’s goin’ as she’s leavin’
She is headed for the cheatin’ side of town


Most gold-diggers cheat. So what? As long as the John doesn’t find out what difference does it make? She’s still faithful to the arrangement.

You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you’d realize
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin eyes


Most men I know set specific parameters like anyone running a successful enterprise. Applicants sign employment contracts and live within the parameters. 

On the other side of town a boy is waiting
With fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
‘Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel


There will always be a boy somewhere waiting for pretty much anyone, anytime. It’s obviously not enough, so she parses.

She rushes to his arms; they fall together
She whispers that it’s only for awhile
She swears that soon she’ll be comin’ back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile


Unless he figures out how to make a bundle, he’ll only be a fleeting screw. Of course, most young guys who make a fortune when they’re young tend to go through women like water, so now who’s crying?

She gets up and pours herself a strong one,
And stares out at the stars up in the sky.
Another night, it’s gonna be a long one.
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry.


This is the funniest thing I have ever read. Her head is sitting in a $20,000 french armchair with a glass of champagne. Nice try, though. 

She wonders how it ever got this crazy.
She thinks about a boy she knew in school.
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She’s so far gone she feels just like a fool.


Lazy? Are you insane? Women like this work their butt’s off to live like this. What? You think money just falls from trees?

My oh my, you sure know how to arrange things.
You set it up so well, so carefully.
Ain’t it funny how your new life didn’t change things?
You’re still the same old girl you used to be.


Most insightful verse in the song. I’ve never known a gold-digger to change his or her stripes. 

As young men, even they could see that people are what they do.

How Gold-Diggers Parse Love


The following account is real.

I bring this to you not because it news, but because it’s not:



Did you ever really love me?


Honestly, the first year of our relationship I was very much in love with you. We traveled all over the world, stayed in beautiful hotels, dined at great restaurants. It was wonderful. Then your business went downhill and we stopped doing things.


We stopped traveling but we still did things. 


What things? We mostly stayed at home and watched movies.


So you were in love with the lifestyle.


You were the lifestyle.


Understand that many men are simply incapable of falling in love with any woman who doesn’t satisfy an exacting set of physical standards.

The problem is that gold-diggers have those standards etched into the fabric of their DNA, so they hold all the cards.

And people wonder why so many affluent older men become trapped in vicious cycles of defeated expectations, as they try to get “perfect” women to love them for who they are.

In my world, fortunes come and go every day, mostly under these circumstances.

Aging is a weird thing. We learn more about a lot of things, but the basics never change: love, lust, money, but in the reverse order.


Steven Tyler and New Girlfriend, Aimee Ann Preston


Yes, there is an age difference. And no, I don’t care.

Tyler is 67. Preston, 28.

Ho hum.

But the media spins it for sensationalism: Steven Tyler turned heads when he marched up the red carpet at the Oscar-viewing party thrown by Elton John’s Aids Foundation hand-in-hand with a younger mystery woman.”

Still ho hum.

Not to be deterred, the media adds even more flourish to this non-story: Aimee Ann Preston is a full decade younger than his actor daughter Liv!

Yea, and my girlfriend was born 10 years after I received my undergraduate degree at 23, and we’re still together 5 years on.

Ho hum, again.

Congratulations to Steven and Aimee.

I’m sure your relationship is everything but ho hum.

Boomers Vs Millennials: A Field Guide


This article has some field ready stats that I tend to agree with for the most part.

But what’s of particular interest to me, and that I think you might find interesting, is what follows: The differences in Habits and Characteristics.

Here’s a snapshot:

Did you know that 70% of millennials have never been married?

This makes complete sense given the fact that they inherited a tough job market, exacerbated by the fact that Baby Boomers never retire.

More than 60 percent of millennials say they’d rather earn $40,000 per year at a job they love than $100,000 at one they hate.

When I was looking for a job I also wanted something I enjoyed over something I hated, so this never made sense to me.

I think that most of this applies to the generation before mine, but for some reason got lost in translation…or time.

Polls seem to indicate that 1/2 of Gen Yers identify themselves as politically independent, while three in 10 are unaffiliated with any organized religion.

I get this. Media has of way of scrambling one’s brain cells, so how the hell are you supposed to know where you stand on anything?

Despite being the generation with the most schooling in U.S. history, millennials rank below their global peers in math, literacy and a key 21st-century skill: “problem-solving in technology-rich environments.”

The focus today is on liberal studies, which, in my generation, was reserved only for women pursuing “MRS” degrees and trust fund kids.

Another interesting finding is that only 15 percent of boomers admit to having a tattoo, compared to 40 percent of millennials and 30 percent of Gen Xers (born between 1965 and 1980).

Maybe the permanence of tattoos is projection on the part of a generation that can find solid footing pretty much anywhere.

Another sad fact of life for millennials is that nearly two-thirds of boomers ages 50 to 61 expect to delay retirement.

Among the most popular reasons cited for sticking with the daily grind: They want to.

Making matters worse [for millennials] is that boomers expect to live longer than any previous generation. 

New research suggests that old age may now actually begin at 74.

That’s also bad news for employers who still offer a pension, with the average retiree now estimated to draw a pension for 24 years (50 percent longer than the prior generation).

Then there’s the surprising factoid that nearly as many boomers own smartphones as younger generations, and are far more likely to have home computers.

A whopping 85 percent are (LOL) into text messaging, sending an average of 80 messages a month.

Boomers are also five times likelier than other generations to own a digital tablet.

On a certain level, the situation is grim.

We like to work, we are healthier than any generation before us, and we stay on top of technology.

No wonder we date people half our age.

It’s not like millennials are getting anywhere with their peers.