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On Longevity: The Married vs Single Debate

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http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/married-vs-single-what-science-says-is-better-for-your-health/ar-AAalrTb

Most middle-aged single men I know want to be in relationships, which may come as a shock to women who assume that these guys are merely womanizing frat boys in grown up bodies.

As it turns out, running the streets like packs of wolves gets old fast [literally and figuratively].

Back in the day [not long ago], I ran the streets 6 nights a week, every night another opportunity to meet THE ONE, even if the woman I happened to wake up with the next morning was everything but.

I was lost in the labyrinth of what if, which fueled those familiar brain chemicals I couldn’t live without.

It’s a funny little game men play with themselves when they reach a certain age and their empty homes feels like Purgatory.

Men like me hate going to bars, and the only reason we do is because the alternative [staying home alone] is far worse.

It’s hard on the soul to cast a line night after night no matter what the pretense happens to be. After a while it becomes a preoccupation that settles in like a virus that bleeds us of relevance and meaning.

Men tend to drink more, pay less attention to things that might otherwise be important to them, and generally speaking, burn the candle at both ends for months or years without payback.

Once a man finds himself in a healthy relationship, he discovers emotional support, physical and emotional intimacy, and deeper social ties to family. These factors alone drop blood pressure and relieve the low level anxiety that burns like a brush fire from deep inside the soul.

Robin Simon, a professor of sociology at Wakefield University, writes in Psychiatry Weekly that positive interpersonal relationships are better for men on many levels. “…Marriage provides social support — including emotional, financial, and instrumental support. Also, married people have greater psychosocial (or coping) resources than the non-married — higher self-esteem and greater mastery.”  

Of course, the relationship or marriage in question must be a healthy one or he’s better off back at the bars.

The one downside of good relationships appears to be a greater propensity for obesity. After all, when you’re no longer spending 5 hours a day in the gym followed by a tanning appointment, that tends to happen.

One study found that married men were 25% more likely to be overweight or obese compared to single men or those in committed relationships.

Personally, I find this angle tough to swallow because committed relationships and marriage are kind of the same thing. I guess that piece of paper means more than most of us realize…or want to realize as the case may be.

Nonetheless, “the emphasis on looks and waistline may not matter as much,” it was postulated.

No kidding. When you’re “off the market” it means less, but it can also mean a hell of a lot more if you let it get away with you.

The findings concluded that in “healthy” relationships, greater longevity is the net result.

With this as a backdrop, it bears noting that older women are far better at establishing relationships and bonding with other women, making single-hood an easier ride.

This is in stark contrast to men who continue to act out like lone wolves in search of themselves.

SUMMARY

For all of this to play out the way it’s supposed to, the relationship in question must be a healthy one.

So the real question is whether men think the price of putting in the work to keep them running smoothly is worth a few extra years of life.

 

Urban Dystrophy [Digital Version] Available on Amazon this week!

Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 12.24.31 PM copyLAUNCH DATE FOR DIGITAL VERSION ANNOUNCED ON MAY, 2015!

PRINT VERSION TO FOLLOW.

From Urban Dystrophy:

“You get back what others think you’re worth, not what you think you’re worth. And unless you can afford not to care, you better care. With practice, you’ll be able to determine your own relative value so you’re not disappointed by things you thought you deserved, but didn’t for reasons you may resent, but better get used to.”

“Most middle-aged men struggling to balance acquisition of wealth with fading relevance feel like characters in an apocalypse series with recurring story arcs.”

“I compete with popular culture every day, on every level, including in my love life where it’s particularly competitive.”

“I once knew a forty-two-year-old pharmaceutical rep that kept a list of mandatory line items prospective “boyfriends” had to meet. It sat on her iPad for easy reference. If I remember correctly, the last count was 22,328.”

“Eventually we all reach a point in life where we can no longer hit on young women without also being hit on by a bouncer.”

“In the old days, men had wives and mistresses. This was considered normal. It was understood that emotional intimacy in men was a sign of weakness, and therefore, if women wanted their men to remain strong and faithful to their marriages, mistresses were necessary.”

“At middle age, the situation becomes ten times worse. Although women are decades older than they were back in college, men still measure them against their 1980 yearbook picture, which is why most of the women they date were born about that time. This same pathology manifests in the perception that men and women age at different rates, even if they technically don’t.”

“Women say blessings are counted by the number of people who give you unconditional love. But, others contend that you still die alone, and that bouncing nickels off a flawless ass is worth the blind faith in miracles.”

We’ve also produced some limited edition t-shirts, should you be interested in brandishing the narrative!

The logo below:

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6 Things that Absolutely, Positively Happen When You Stop Working Out.

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http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/cardio/6-things-that-will-happen-when-you-stop-working-out/ar-AAa8yo3#page=1

You may want to read this if for no other reason than to save your life.

This is a hot topic these days as we Boomers continue to age in spite of our best efforts to deny it.

I know. I still toss my AARP notices.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, I have been in the gym my entire adult life.

I eat right, get enough rest, have varied interests and passions, including a love life. Most psychiatrists would agree that this constitutes a balanced existence. You may want to reconfirm this with yours.

But maintaining a balanced existence is kind of like maintaining an aquarium. it requires a constant set of variables. If one falters, they all do.

In a human context, let’s use working out of as an example.

If I take one week off, it takes me three weeks to get back to where I was. In this sense, it’s unforgiving. You have to stay on the wheel to keep reaping the benefits. Walk away for a few days and you’re back to square one.

This alone is enough to incite many to throw in the towel for good, but the problems resulting from this decision are far worse than abandoning the hamster wheel.

I might also add at this juncture that the “wheel” is far more addictive than it sounds lest you think I’m knocking a kick-ass workout.

With this in mind, here are a few downsides to stopping:

1] Blood Pressure Soars: Blood pressure is almost always higher on the days you don’t exercise. In fact, within a month, you back to square one as if you’d never exercised a day in your life.

2] Blood Sugar Soars: Blood glucose rises after you eat, then drops as your muscles and other tissues suck up the sugar they need for energy. But after five days of slothfulness, your post-meal blood sugar levels remain elevated.

3] You’re Out of Breath: Within two weeks of avoiding the gym, your VO2 max—a measure of fitness that assesses how much oxygen your working muscles can use—decreases by as much as 20%.

4] Your Muscles Wilt: Significant declines in muscle mass are experienced after two weeks of complete rest. What’s more, some muscle fibers actually convert from fastest-twitch type IIa to more explosive but faster-fatiguing type IIx. This can hamper your ability to sustain high-intensity efforts.

5] You Fatten Up: Within about a week, your muscles lose some of their fat-burning potential and your metabolism slows down.

6] Your Brain Flatlines : Though human evidence is limited, rat studies presented at a recent Society for Neuroscience conference suggest animals that stop moving for just a week grow fewer new brain cells and do worse on maze tests than those who stick to a steady wheel-running routine.

SUMMARY

The six line items above are all backed up with research you’ll find in the report. While I’m not personally involved in the studies, I can certainly attest to their findings.

If you don’t work out on a regular basis, your body will begin to look and feel like a war zone before you’ve ordered your last Margarita on a 10-day – sit on your butt and watch the seagulls – jaunt to Tahiti.

No matter how much money you have at your disposal, or how much hair you have left on your head, without a consistent health regimen, you’ll be dead long before you’re buried.

 

 

 

 

 

Curves Vs. Face in Over-40 Women: A Man’s Perspective.

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Candice Bergen [68] has a curvy figure.

26FE37DD00000578-3011773-image-m-26_1427322629269 Victoria Beckham [40] has a thin figure.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3011773/It-s-classic-advice-given-women-age-40-does-woman-really-choose-FACE-BOTTOM.html

Articles like this one have been popping up a lot lately as aging women feel the pressure to conform to standards they themselves set decades ago. This one in particular was written in response to Candice Bergen’s comments about aging women where she advises older women to “keep a lovely, plump pretty face, and stay sitting down.”

Needless to say, this upset women who feel that objectification is a crucible they will never outlive.

They’re right, actually. They will never outlive it.

The older men I spend time around tend to be ambitious and successful. They have high expectations and are surrounded by a culture group that reinforces this narrative.

While it is not uncommon to see out-of-shape, age-relevant couples who’ve been married for decades, there is usually a back story, an off-the-books apartment in Manhattan in someone else’s name, perhaps.

If a man does happen to crave big beautiful women, he calls an escort service and keeps his mouth shut. They both do. For a price.

Back to the subject at hand, the men in my demographic tend to like the same body types: Fit, thin, and tall [ish]. Some describe it as that of a 12-year-old boy.

This is not to say that these men are gay, but that a certain androgynous aesthetic is preferred.

Why?

Several reasons, but first an example:

hotsale-women-s-swimwear-super-sexy-solid

Now for the reasons:

1] They look great in designer apparel, regardless of the designer.

2] They can wear a basically nothing no matter what time of the month it happens to be.

3] Other woman hate them, which men love.

4] The subconscious dominance men experience in their company bolsters self esteem, both in and out of the bedroom.

5] Thin women convey to men that they understand and appreciate a particular aesthetic, thus, no matter what the hell happens, including pregnancy, they will always squeeze into a size “0-2” Chanel cocktail dress.

So basically, Candice Bergen is right.

She had her day in the sun and has finally come to a place of acceptance.

A rare admission, indeed. No wonder women are so pissed off at her.

If I didn’t look like the model above, I would be, too.

 

Jimmy Page [71] Dating Scarlett Sabet [25]

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2915901/Led-Zeppelin-heyday-girlfriend-14-limos-young-groupies-middle-class-girl-25-fallen-71-year-old-Jimmy-Page.html

Okay, so it’s pile-on time once again as a senior celeb takes a young lover; in this case Jimmy Page and Scarlett Sabet.

Why does this bother people so much? Why do people care? It’s their lives. They live them as they see fit. Both are consenting adults and neither appears to be complaining. if something goes way south as is common with most relationships, age-relevant or otherwise, they can split up and start over. But for reasons that TMZ, Daily Mail and every other celebrity news outlet in the world know all too well, “never pass up a story about an older man dating [or marrying] a much younger woman!”

See, what makes these stories so interesting to me is not that Page and Sabet are dating [or whatever], but that news outlets bait readers with stories they know will inspire controversy, no matter that they are merely two consenting adults having a nice time together.

Jimmy Page is an outlier.

In the world of rock music, his contribution was a game changer, legendary. He has everything a young woman might find – at the very least – interesting.

If there is a downside to such a union, it is that he will, in all probability, die long before her.

And if that’s the story, it’s called scraping for news because all relationships are tenuous at best.

At least in this case, the commodities appear evenly distributed.

Had it been back in the day, Ms. Sabet would have been standing in a long line…

d16ad6417f400ff5c86fbe73be1be

 

Healthy Diets Should Not Be Rocket Science

23ornish-blog427

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/23/opinion/the-myth-of-high-protein-diets.html

Dean Ornish recently published an OP-ED piece in the New York Times titled “The Myth of High-Protein Diets,” in which he extolled the virtues of a whole foods, plant-based diet.

It bears noting that Mr. Ornish is also a member of the University of California, San Francisco nonprofit, Preventive Medicine Research Institute, which promotes the belief that livestock production is the leading cause of global warming.

With this in mind, it’s not a stretch to assume that he and his colleagues have a vested interest in keeping you out of steakhouses, which further confuses an already information-weary public.

Making matters worse, on the same day MSN published a headlining article promoting the top sandwich shops in America, all of them beef intensive!

http://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/foodnews/america%E2%80%99s-25-best-chain-sandwich-shops/ss-BBh0Jvs

For God’s sake, get your stories straight already.

……………….

I was talking to my trainer yesterday about the latest diet trends, and he said rather matter-of factly:

“Discussions about what to eat or not to eat will be going on for the rest of our lives…”

So I asked several other trainers the same question and received similar responses. These guys spend their entire lives thinking about this stuff because they’re expected to know more than the general public, and even they’re conflicted.

With this in mind, here are some general guidelines I follow, and they seem to work:

1] Based on the way I train [powerlifting], I know that I absolutely, positively need a good source of healthy protein. Proteins are the building blocks of lean muscle tissue, and because they break down more slowly than simple carbohydrates, consumption also helps when dieting down. I avoid all processed meats. In other words, I stay out of Stop-n-Go unless I’m buying water. I buy grass-fed meats from places like Whole Foods, which are ten times the price of Wal-Mart – but in the long run – 100 times less expensive than hospital visits. Purchase only lean cuts of grass fed meat, chicken breast, egg whites, canned white fish, and salmon. My shakes, by the way, are made with whey protein.

3] Unless you’re running marathons every 5 minutes, stay away from breads, pastas, white rice and other simple carbohydrates. The spikes in sugar result in hypoglycemic crashes followed by distended bellies. If you must eat some form of bread, try Ezekiel brand, which has a lower glycemic count.

4] Hydrate. Most older men lose their sense of thirst due to reduced kidney function, so ignore your body and drink heavily.

5] I eat lost of fruits and colorful vegetables. They don’t taste as good as Southern fried chicken, but the way they make you feel is something you learn to appreciate fast.

6] A little low fat cheese is fine, but understand that the majority of your fats should come from foods like olive oil, avocados, macadamias, walnuts and pine nuts and almonds.

7] I usually have a glass of wine and fruit in the evenings. Eating is not always a pain in the ass, just most of the time. but like I said, it’s about how proper nutrition makes you look and feel.

8] Some people allow themselves “cheat” meals, but I have found that my body can no longer tolerate heavy, greasy food, so I avoid them altogether.

9] I take multivitamins, as well as supplement with omega-3 fatty acid-rich fish oil, vitamin D and one mini-aspirin [Bayer].

10] I rest and recover no matter how long that takes. I never go to the gym depleted. It’s counterproductive, and often, an injury magnet.

11] I try to avoid toxic stress at any and all costs. There’s both good and bad stress. You can Google it.

12] The moment you start weighing your food, you need psychiatric help. Just follow the basic guidelines and you’ll be fine.

OVERVIEW

Health and fitness are synonymous. You can’t have one without the other. In other words, you can’t just eat right and expect to stay healthy. You must also stay physically active to reap the rewards. Using the 12-steps above [no puns], I add 6 days of exercise to my regimen: 3 days of heavy resistance and agility training [1 hour], and 3 days of cardio, foam rolling and stretching [1 hour]. If you think this is a lot to give, ask yourself how much time you spend in front of the television and generally speaking it should answer your question. 

Understand also that there will be resistance to your efforts to stay fit, most often from those who aren’t.

An older gentleman at my gym told me that his Internist asked him why he lifted weights. His exact words went something like this: “At your age, are you trying to be a bodybuilder or something?” When I asked the man to describe the physical condition of said physician, his description said it all. Projection is common amongst older physicians who should be kicking your ass to stay fit. Instead, they dispense advice based upon their own sedentary lifestyles. This means you’ll need to find a physician who gets it, along with a new healthier group of friends who will help keep you on track.

I never said it was going to be easy, but the solutions are hardly rocket science.

 

Testosterone Nation

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http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/should-the-modern-man-be-taking-testosterone/274663/

“Step right up! Right this way. Whether you take your “T” by injection, gel, patch, or subcutaneous pellet, the promise of eternal youth can be yours for the taking!!!”

Most guys in my particular socioeconomic demographic are on some form of testosterone, usually cocktailed with Human Growth Hormone [HGH], and sometimes, anabolic steroids.

This is considered proper maintenance, and therefore, normal.

…………..

The testosterone debate is as heated as politics and religion. Everyone has an opinion.

But the biggest problem is that everyone is also a “research scientist” armed with a battery of affirming studies touting the benefits, while downplaying the side-effects.

In this sense, it’s like the global warming debate.

Did you know that Houston has had its coldest Winter in 30 years? In New England it’s more like 100 years.

Having said this, it has also been the warmest in general, which may or may not have to do with SUV’s and Dick Cheney.

There’s an angle for everything, which brings me back to my point: Testosterone has become a kind of lightning rod for people who want to take advantage of what science has to offer without having to necessarily prove it’s overall safety record.

This is why people carry around talking points to validate their addictions, the main one being baselines. If i keep raising the bar, suddenly everyone needs more testosterone. Get it? This is the hook.

This is why testosterone supplementation has become its own religion, practiced and promoted by pharmaceutical companies, physicians and the patients who carry the “word of god” into gyms across America.

I’ll be straight with you about something: If I were to inject 1 cc of testosterone per week, my body would begin to bleed fat and build more muscle with half the effort I currently put forth in my workouts. How long this would last I don’t know. How long I would last I don’t know. Is it worth the risks given the fact that my livelihood does not depend on winning bodybuilding competitions or the Super Bowl?

No.

If I were a professional athlete, would it be worth the 5 million a year to stay competitive? Probably, which is why most use and then end up in wheelchairs, or worse.

The human body will only give us so much before it starts subtracting the gains.

Nonetheless, the men I’m referring to are NOT professional athletes. They may be athletic. They may want to look and feel better. But from what I have seen, the risks they are willing to take far outweigh the gains they expect.

This is irrelevant to most of them. They live for the moment. For now. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Indeed.

Postscript: In case you’re wondering what all the fuss is really about, take a look at these three steroid users and their preternatural physiques, courtesy of the drugs.

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The Normal Aging Process Versus the Preternaturally Fit.

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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/07/how-exercise-keeps-us-young/?_r=0

“As it turned out, the cyclists did not show their age. On almost all measures, their physical functioning remained fairly stable across the decades and was much closer to that of young adults than of people their age. As a group, even the oldest cyclists had younger people’s levels of balance, reflexes, metabolic health and memory ability.”

From the perspective of chronological averages, my script has been written and what’s left is fading fast.

Fortunately, I’ve never been a fan of averages.

…………

Admittedly, there are days when my age bothers me. I’m smack in the middle of the Baby Boom Gen and sometimes the psychological ramifications of being this far down the road sucks. People are dying all over the place and everyone seems to have some horror story to share about their health.if they just shut up about it for five minutes I swear they’d feel better.

It seems like just yesterday I was a carefree young man, the world at my feet, with endless promise ahead of me.

I thought of people my age as dead men walking, and dismissed them summarily. It’s not that I was unable to see their strengths, but that I resented their competitive presence in the game of life. After all, this was my world. Their time came and went, so why are they still here?

And then it happened: I woke up one day the object of my own adolescent scorn.

Wow. I didn’t feel any differently, but here I was, an older man.

And while there was absolutely nothing I could do about chronological stage in life, there was everything in the world I could do about how I wanted to live it.

So I started power lifting.

I found a top trainer and focused on a goal.

See, an important aspect of physical fitness for older men is having a goal. Without one, you get lost. Motivation dries up because there’s nothing to work towards, and eventually, you’re back on the couch reading history books before dying of heart failure before your 60th birthday.

Power lifting, like Cross-fit, and other competitive endeavors makes goal-setting a integral part of the training process.

Adding to this is the camaraderie often lacking in an older man’s life, which you have to feel yourself to really appreciate. You stop drawing inward and resigned, and instead experience a reawakening.

For me it was an easy segue because I’ve been athletic all my life, but I have seen frumpy middle-aged men morph into competitive athletes with entirely new outlooks on life. In fact, you wouldn’t recognize many of them from their former pathetic selves.

The moment you give up on yourself and your abilities, you’re dead in the water. The missives from young men are now accurate, and you become the helpless poster-child for irrelevance.

Life is all about choices. We can choose to fade, or we can get back in the ring and compete.

What I’ve noticed is that men of all ages respect older men who fight for themselves, who challenge the forces of time, and set examples for future generations.

Now they have something to actually look forward to, which no one will dismiss.

……………

I’ll leave you with this: The following is a video of a 78-year-old man doing leg lifts at my gym 3 days ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MsO2lqgvZ4&feature=youtu.be&app=desktop 

 

Ronnie Wood [67] and Sally Humphreys [37] Tie the Knot. Congratulations!

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3003820/Rolling-Stones-rocker-Ronnie-Wood-67-lovingly-kisses-wife-Sally-37-cheek-attend-charity-gala.html

Ya gotta read the comments on this one. Lots of jealousy couched as “common sense.”

Here’s a typical example: “Let’s face it. If he were an ordinary fella , in a normal job, she wouldn’t be seen dead, next to him.” Somebody, United Kingdom

Newsflash: A 37-year-old ordinary fella, in a normal job, wouldn’t have a shot in hell with her, either.

She’s clearly taken with extraordinarily successful, and, in Ronnie’s case, famous men.

So what?

People find themselves with one another for their own reasons, none of them being anyone else’s business.

Those bitching are the usual suspects: Older average men in dead end relationships with older average women, young men who resent older, more successful men “hoarding” their women, and older women who can’t find a man to save their lives.

Nobody else is complaining, believe me.

While Ms. Humphrey married someone who will in all likelihood predecease her, she has also made a conscious decision that what she’s taken on is far better than what she might leave behind. People do this at every stage if their lives. Young women choose young men for their good looks, coupled with their perceived ability to provide, and then go on to become good husbands and fathers. It’s a linear calculation all women make.

Sometimes it’s an age-relevant coupling, other times it’s a generational divide.

In either case, it’s the same drill.

I get that Ronnie Wood is not the best looking man in the world, but I have never known women over the age of 21 to fall in love exclusively with their eyes.

While his fame and fortune are powerful motivators, she still has to sleep with him, which I’m sure is a bargain for both of them, everything considered.