Inter-generational dating, mating and marriage edges closer to “normal and well-adjusted.”
Soon, no one will even bother to ask.
Post Category → culture
Can You Spot a 21st Century Gold Digger? I Doubt It.
Couple of nice girls just looking for love…
A few buds out for a game and shot at a vacation on someone else’s dime…
It cuts both ways.
“In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.”
― Charles Darwin
Here are two articles you might find interesting:
http://nypost.com/2014/04/16/can-you-spot-gold-digger/
Gold-digging [aka prostitution] has been around for the entire length and breath of human history.
The problem today, however, is that motive is no longer obvious. In fact, it’s evolved in stealth to what many consider an art form…where PhD level courses will soon be necessary to decode the tell-tale subtleties and innuendo.
~~~
POINTS OF INTEREST on GOLD-DIGGING [in general]
1] Gold diggers are such a problem in NYC, one woman has set up an agency that proclaims it will weed them out.
2] Cautious men need to know that women they’re interested in have jobs with sizable incomes [six figures is expected], be independent and live alone.
3] Successful women seek out equally successful men because, like men, they expect a “perfect 10” for their efforts.
4] “Millennial males are less likely than males of the Gen X and Boomer generations to equate romance with happiness,” says Denise Delahorne, SVP Group Strategy Director, DDB US.
5] “Overall, they [Millennial males] are a group of people who believe they are better than other people, and their own happiness and well being takes precedence over the needs of others.”
6] “Millennials overall, and Millennial men in particular, are more likely to think their own happiness is more important than the happiness of others Millennials overall, and Millennial men in particular, are also more likely to think that they deserve to be famous and hope to be famous one day.”
7] “I think we can’t lose sight of the fact that this is a generation that grew up at a time when attitudes about marriage and divorce really changed.”
8] “...we certainly can’t ignore the fact that they [Millennial men] feel that they can always get out of the marriage if they want to — and this is certainly something that we see frequently in popular culture.”
9] Millennial men are also more likely to want to have a prenuptial agreement than males of other generations (32% vs. 25% of Gen X males and 17% of Boomer males) perhaps because they are more likely to be viewing marriage as a financial/contractual arrangement as much as a romantic partnership.
10] There are five million members on SeekingArrangement. Overall, the site has 3.8 million Sugar Babies, and 12% are male: 460,000. Moreover, this is an 84% jump in male Sugar Baby membership from the start of 2014.
ACCORDING TO THE POST ARTICLE, HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO SPOT A GOLD-DIGGER
Matchmaker Janis Spindel asks ladies looking to date her high-end male clients to pen a 2,500-word bio and fill out an extensive questionnaire. Here are her five rules for spotting a gold digger:
1. A woman who is obsessed with dating a successful man — and knowing what his salary is.
2. A lack of a job is a telltale sign a woman is looking for someone to support her. “Women must have [jobs],” says Spindel. “It gives them a sense of confidence, allows them to support themselves and keeps them busy during the day.”
3. She complains about Spindel’s fee of $1,000 for a one-on-one meeting.
4. A woman who makes unreasonable demands: “If they tell me they must date a man with a plane, I say ‘Sayonara.’”
5. A lady who asks the wrong questions: “When they ask me how many homes my client has, they’re inquiring for the wrong reasons.”
COMMENTS
These points are all far too obvious, as most successful gold-diggers could pass a polygraph with flying colors.
FINAL COMMENTS
How did we get here?
Millennials say feminism is the root of the problem.
They tell me…
1] Women are waiting longer before marriage and children…so they’re no settling down.
2] They also have strong career motives, which they also expect of their mates.
3] They feel entitled to the same sexual freedom as men, which yields a new world man with a vagina.
So what’s the incentive for young women to date young men?
Nothing, really.
Unless, of course, it’s just sex, in which case they need an online alias if they want to protect their reputations and high-end jobs from blackmail and other forms of extortion.
~~~
In closing, here are some passages from my new book, Urban Dystrophy, currently selling like hotcakes on Amazon.
A FEW KEY FACTS TO MALE BABY-BOOMERS OF A CERTAIN SOCIOECONOMIC DEMOGRAPHIC
When you’re twenty-five, women who seriously date you do so for your looks, personality, education, and ability to earn (or somehow, inherit).
When you’re fifty, women who resemble the ones you dated at twenty-five (because they are twenty-five) do so for the perceived security you are able to provide them—both financial and emotional—coupled with a predisposition towards generosity.
Gold diggers flourish in big cities where there are few predators and an abundant food source. Please do not confuse the metaphor.
Watch out for three vulnerabilities they look to target—frustration, boredom, and privilege—the same ingredients necessary to transform a corporate executive with a Harvard MBA into a blackmail statistic.
It doesn’t matter how many boards you sit on, how many ex-wives you have, or how much your children love you. When everything falls apart, including your children, gold-diggers only care about your financial condition.
Remember that women interested in the likes of you operate in survival mode. While it has been postulated that some possess feelings that border on empathy—particularly towards their young, and in some instances, their spouses—survival still hinges on instinct.
You may live in a large urban area because you enjoy the culture, shopping experience, and fine dining, but you’re also a line item on someone else’s balance sheet.
Every man like you with a penchant for youth and beauty will inevitably meet a woman anxious to exploit him.
Men never grow up. If they did, gold-diggers would go extinct.
In case you’re wondering, the same rules apply to women when approaching a male member of this group. It’s a gender-neutral career path.
In exchange for a certain lifestyle, gold-diggers are prepared to barter whatever they have in exchange for whatever they don’t. While this may sound cold and calculating in the context of “love,” some of the country’s most celebrated philanthropists were once strippers, showgirls, and Pilates instructors. (No offense to Pilates instructors.)
R.I.P. Starman [1947-2016]
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3393470/David-Bowie-dies-18-month-battle-cancer.html
So, so sad, but never forgotten. Ever.
He’s immortal after all.
Bowie send-offs from around the world…
I’m Devastated! This great Artist changed my life! First concert i ever saw in Detroit! R.IP. ️ #rebelheart pic.twitter.com/hGfxI967Bw
— Madonna (@Madonna) January 11, 2016
David Bowie was one of my most important inspirations, so fearless, so creative, he gave us magic for a lifetime.
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 11, 2016
Bowie existed so all of us misfits learned that an oddity was a precious thing. he changed the world forever.
— Guillermo del Toro (@RealGDT) January 11, 2016
PM: I grew up listening to and watching the pop genius David Bowie. He was a master of re-invention, who kept getting it right. A huge loss.
— UK Prime Minister (@Number10gov) January 11, 2016
DEVASTATED… A LEGEND IS GONE
— Cher (@cher) January 11, 2016
MESSAGE FROM IGGY: “David’s friendship was the light of my life. I never met such a brilliant person. He was the best there is. – Iggy Pop”
— Iggy Pop (@IggyPop) January 11, 2016
A rock legend is gone. Thanks for the music and the laughs @David Bowie Real pic.twitter.com/N1dOAUUJAm
— Matt Lauer (@MLauer) January 11, 2016
The Rolling Stones are shocked and deeply saddened to hear of the death of our dear friend David Bowie… 1/2
— The Rolling Stones (@RollingStones) January 11, 2016
As well as being a wonderful and kind man, he was an extraordinary artist, and a true original. 2/2 #DavidBowie
— The Rolling Stones (@RollingStones) January 11, 2016
Hunky Dory, Ziggy Stardust, Low, Heroes. David Bowie’s last album is written, but the melodies will linger on forever. A true legend.
— Jens Stoltenberg (@jensstoltenberg) January 11, 2016
Just heard. There aren’t many legends left to lose. Unthinkable and tremendously sad. #Bowie #Heroes
— Rob Lowe (@RobLowe) January 11, 2016
I just lost a hero. RIP David Bowie.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) January 11, 2016
David Bowie was a true innovator, a true creative. May he rest in peace #RIPDavidBowie
— Pharrell Williams (@Pharrell) January 11, 2016
David Bowie, you will be sorely missed. Bowie’s “Changes” and the Ziggy story songs were a major influence for me. pic.twitter.com/N1nkD9h82W
— Gene Simmons (@genesimmons) January 11, 2016
Rip Father of all us freaks. Sad sad day. Love always Legendary singer David Bowie dies at 69 https://t.co/ezRx7NVhSC # via HuffPostEnt
— Mark Ruffalo (@MarkRuffalo) January 11, 2016
Good-bye, David Bowie. You are now among #Heroes. Thank you for helping to bring down the #wall. https://t.co/soaOUWiyVl #RIPDavidBowie
— GermanForeignOffice (@GermanyDiplo) January 11, 2016
He never seemed of this earth. Now he’s left it. He bent rules, gender, genres, and our minds. RIP David Bowie. One. Of. A. Kind.
— josh groban (@joshgroban) January 11, 2016
“But the key to the city is in the sun that pins the branches to the sky…” #DavidBowie
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt (@hitRECordJoe) January 11, 2016
David Bowie is a searing genius who will inspire millions for thousands of years. Planets will be named after him.
— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) January 11, 2016
Words cannot express: RIP David Bowie https://t.co/g40zLWl3qq pic.twitter.com/R94E6LMw9C
— Brian Eno (@dark_shark) January 11, 2016
RIP David . I loved your music. I loved you. One of the greatest performance artists to have ever lived. #sorrow
— Russell Crowe (@russellcrowe) January 11, 2016
David Bowie broke the mold on both sides of the Atlantic. A one of a kind creative force. #MyFavBowieTrack https://t.co/FPE00Gb6gi
— Matthew Barzun (@MatthewBarzun) January 11, 2016
Ground Control to Major Tom Commencing countdown, engines on Check ignition and may God’s love be with you (David Bowie)
— Gianfranco Ravasi (@CardRavasi) January 11, 2016
Rich Men Prefer Skinny Women: New Research Exposé
Ss I stated many times before [on this blog], wealthy women prefer to date their financial equals and those withing a few years of their age.
Men? Not so much [on either count].
According to researchers at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., a new study to be published in the January 2016 edition of the peer-reviewed academic journal “Personality and Individual Differences,” validates what I have always believed, that men with more education had strong preferences for female partners who were “good looking,” “slender,” and “younger.” Some 95% of men with an advanced degree said it was “essential” that their partner was “good looking” versus 77% of those with a high school education or less, and 84% of those men said it was essential that their partner was slender versus just 12% of those with a high school education or less.
So what does it all mean?
A depressing confirmation of the worst gender stereotypes that suggests the dating game has not progressed much in the last 100 years? And maybe 1000 if you want to get technical about it.
Using an example from the animal kingdom, “Female bower birds select males with the nicest nest, and in many insects, the female selects a male who offers her a nice gift of prey he has captured.”
Translation: Women prefer nice neighborhoods with swimming pools, just like insects.
Furthermore men prefer slender bodies, which are associated with youth.
As the body’s metabolism slows as one grows older and, slender physiques could represent fertility for men.
I might also add that, beyond the specter of fertility, slender women look better in Chanel and are easier to physically dominate, which is a big deal for many.
The study may help people understand why the advertising industry (and society) puts so much emphasis on women being thin. And it may also throw light on why men strive so aggressively for higher income and assertively negotiate for raises.
Their income clearly affects not only their ability to pay for dates but also their likelihood of attracting a beautiful young, slender partner who looks good in Chanel.
As we all know, men are more visual than women and women have a stronger need to be taken care of both emotionally and financially.
So people with desirable traits are in a position to be more selective.
The study found that both genders reported nearly equally that being with someone physically attractive “to them” is important, which is at least hopeful because it allows for physical imperfections — not the unattainable physical flawlessness we’re bombarded with every day in the media.
Nonetheless, I have seen men with more money than God check each and every line item and then choose the more perfect human female the planet has ever witnessed. Of course, what people want and what they actually get are two different things.
If, for example, a man wants a physically flawless woman with a warm heart, he usually gets only one of them. There’s only so much you can expect from a mating dynamic based on a cold-blooded exchange of commodities.
REAL WORLD PREFERENCES OF AFFLUENT OLDER MEN AND THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES:
1] Slender women are preferred because they look best in designer apparel.
2] Slender women are preferred because they look better educated, and thus, more sophisticated.
3] Slender women are preferred because they are easy to physically dominate.
4] Slender women are preferred because in more sophisticated circles, image is everything.
5] Slender women are preferred because the chances of them becoming obese down the road are far less probable.
Notice I didn’t mention anything whatsoever about character.
This is because men with money assume that women who crave it will just fall in line.
And while they appear to do just that, their reasons for doing have more to do with attracting even wealthier men who expect the same thing.
Coming to Terms With Aging […without visiting the “Devil’s Crossroads”]
John Patrick McEnroe, Jr., 56
We all reach a point where we realize we are no longer in our physical prime.
We blame everyone – and everything – but ourselves.
Many of us live in denial until we start tripping over our delusions, one after the next, until we come to terms kicking and screaming.
John McEnroe comes to mind.
For him, life has always been a nightmare, which apparently hasn’t abated much to this very day.
Both talented and tempestuous, he bludgeoned his way to 17 Grand Slam titles before falling victim to the very angst that made him a champion, back when youth forgave most transgressions.
This is not where you want to be at middle age.
I’ve been an athlete – active in sports and weight training – for the vast majority of my life, and I’ve had my fair share of injuries. Most of them I’ve forgotten, some won’t let me.
Nonetheless, I still go to the gym and bust my ass: multiple dead-lifts, wall balls, crunches to failure – you get the picture – but my body doesn’t heal the way it used to.
My joints ache, my muscles are tighter, and there always some nagging injury.
It’s at these times that the thought starts to creep in my mind, “It’s not that I can’t do this, but should I?”
The simple answer is, I don’t know. No one does.
My doctor runs every test in the book and declares I’m fit to be tied, but I know that he knows it’s mixed blessings.
I’m technically healthy enough to do what I do, but I also know the recovery time will be two or three times what it was back in my 20’s – and rest will not be a casual decision, but a necessity.
There are times I leave the gym thinking I’m too exhausted even to drive home, and I’m sure the I am not alone.
We all pay a heavy price to keep up with where we were, which is our first mistake because we are no longer where we were.
60 is not 20 no matter how you spin the narrative.
This is where coming to terms with myself, my ego, and my competitive nature has been the hardest thing I’ve ever faced.
Thankfully, the school of hard knocks has finally pounded into me that as I age my self worth should not and, for the sake of sanity, cannot be tied to physical performance.
I simply cannot allow physical performance to trump inner strength.
I am only human and my youth was a fleeting stretch of life some 25 years ago, a lifetime for many pro athletes.
My advice to all of you in my age demographic [Baby Boomers] is to stay as active as your body will allow, explore new hobbies [if you don’t already have 10 or 15 like me], live a balanced life, and enjoy yourself.
While my absolute performance in certain physical endeavors may have declined with advancing years, the enjoyment of my journey, however different, is something that will never fade.
KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER
1] Beliefs about aging are sometimes more powerful than the physical changes themselves.
2] Ignore people who say things like “Why are you doing that? You’re going to hurt yourself!” It’s just projection, so, like I said, ignore it.
3] Psychological skills are a bigger part of your training than anything else.
4] Skills develop through practice, which is why people half your age can’t do many of the things you’ve been doing for years, so there’s an upside.
5] Your own performance in a given sport is relative to your age. The rest you make up in attitude.
6] Stop comparing yourself to that of 20-year-olds. Most of them won’t be even close to where you are when they grow up.
7] Be patient with yourself…and kind. Beating up on yourself is not going to somehow reverse time.
8] Hire a personal trainer if you can afford it. Having said this, I’ve learned that it’s more expensive not having one.
9] Get plenty of rest.
10] Keep a psychotherapist and massage therapist on speed dial.
and…
11] For God’s sake, don’t end up like John McEnroe.
“Manorexia:” It’s Not Just Women
For nearly a decade celebrity jeweler Stephen Webster, 56, pictured with Christina Aguilera, fought a private battle with anorexia [and depression].
At his lowest point, Stephen Webster, who is 5’10” tall, weighted 112 pounds.
By comparison, Mick Jagger, who is 5’10” tall, weighs 161 pounds.
I’ll let you ponder that for a moment…
~~~
Okay, now that you have that image firmly in your head, you should know that after fighting through his disorder, he is now 154 pounds.
Hardly robust, but not on a feeding tube.
So, good.
~~~
Men of my socioeconomic demographic are often found at the gym, if only because they appear to live in them.
Most are in their late 40’s to early 50’s because that’s about as far as you can push back on the aging process and still land on your feet.
By the time you hit your late 50’s, you can land on one foot, but it’s not as pretty.
Having said this, anyone who’s spent a lifetime keeping fit will tell you that at least a tinge of obsession is necessary to maintain it.
For myself, eating is usually a nightmare.
Let me phrase this another way: For myself, eating is something I have lodged firmly in my head from the moment I wake up.
It’s not like it was back in the day when I looked forward to a breakfast of half and half over Frosted Flakes and two whole eggs over easy in actual butter, which I also applied to toasted white Sunbeam bread.
I know. Great right?
Now it’s 6 boiled egg-whites and a bowl of steel cut oats with almond butter and a banana.
If I ate the first breakfast for a week I’d die on the gym floor.
First, I need good carbs, ones that burn slowly, hence the oats.
If I ate the first one my blood sugar would spike, then crash…me along with it. And if that didn’t do me in the saturated fat would.
See, blood sugar becomes a big deal as you age, particularly for men like me who workout a lot.
While I am not diabetic, I do experience bouts of hypoglycemia when i don’t take in enough calories to carry me through an intense workout.
For more on hypoglycemia, click here: https://www.med.umich.edu/intmed/endocrinology/patients/Hypoglycemia.htm
I experienced the same thing as a young man, but now I’m more conscious of it, as I am of everything else because I feel more physically vulnerable than I did back then.
This is what I refer to as age-acquired neurosis.
So not only am I not eating anything I feel like putting in my mouth in an effort to avoid all the aforementioned problems, but I also want to keep my body fit and trim.
Now the plot is as thick as pack ice:
1] I think about when to eat so that I have the energy necessary to fuel my workouts.This alone is exhausting.
2] I carefully consider healthy food choice alternative, which is also a pain in the ass.
3] I want to maintain a healthy appearance, which is predicated on the previous two line items. Now eating is kind of like a second job.
Back to Stephen Webster and many others like him, physical appearance can become an obsession after a while because it’s so hard to maintain.
Add an addictive personalty, ambition and vanity, and you’re completely and utterly screwed.
I know men at my gym who are on the hamster wheel, working out 3 times a day in race to beat time.
They never do.
Most of them are anorexic and in complete denial.
They eat just enough to get through their grueling workouts and them eat again to get through the next one in line.
They have no personal lives. And their interactions with others is limited to discussions about workouts and diet.
I’m sure you know a few yourself.
Pity them. They are in pain even if they don’t realize it.
Their bodies are shutting down, their lives have burned down to an ember of balance.
In this sense, they’re already dead.
If you think I’m being overly dramatic, check out Stephen Webster’s struggles for yourself:
OVERVIEW
I will always dance delicately near the edge in order to meet my needs without falling off the cliff.
It’s a struggle we all face as we age and want to live healthy, balanced lives.
Some turn to “youth-enhancing” drugs to help maintain their strength and low body-fat without having to severely restrict their diets, but they are killing themselves in other ways as they swap one addiction for another.
Average people have no idea what I’m talking about.
But I don’t know any of them.
What’s [really] the Best Workout for Baby Boomers?
56yr Old Crossfit Masters Competitor Ken Greaves
I was scouring the web for inspirational articles covering training regimens for masters athletes – and let me tell you – there aren’t many.
Instead, what I came across this absurd piece written by two 20-year-olds who went on to win a contest for their advice to older men and women.
Here’s a teaser on the topic of cardio: The American College of Sports Medicine recommends working at a level that is “hard enough to raise your heart rate and break a sweat,” but still allows one “to carry on a conversation.” This ensures that the body is being stimulated but not so intensely that there is a risk of overexertion.
Comment: If I can carry on a conversation while doing cardio, I’m not training. [Note to you 20-year-olds on your Iphones while walking on treadmills].
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/best_over_60_workout.htm
Myth #1:
“Because hypertrophy and maximal force production are not likely to be goals for the 60 and up crowd, free weights and muscle specialization will not be necessary.”
Really? Says who?
As a 60-year-old power-lifter and cross-fit enthusiast, I train primarily with free weights because they allow my entire body to participate in the stabilization process. I also focus on certain muscle groups that help protect my body when lifting heavy.
No wonder I don’t have back problems. People who tend to sit on machines all day do. So yes, hypertrophy is a big deal as is maximal force production.
Myth #2:
“While teens may be able to handle three days of lifting per week with seven days of cardio, this is not realistic for older adults.”
I train with weights 3 days a week and incorporate 5 days of cross-fit style cardio. I take the weekends off because i have a life outside the gym. And by the way, most teens can’t keep up with my workouts.
Myth #3
“Intensity, too is different [for older athletes], as more tender joints and less conditioned lungs and other muscles are potential issues for older adults to consider.”
While joint pain is always making itself known in one area or another, it’s been doing the same thing since college. So I just work around it until it heals.
Myth #4
“While free weights are often favored by serious gym-goers and exercise enthusiasts, machines are preferable for older adults.”
I don’t know anyone my age at my gym who doesn’t use free weights.
Myth #5
“Machine movements do not rely on stabilizing muscles as much, which is important as older adults may be somewhat deconditioned and will not have sufficiently developed muscles for complex free weight exercises.”
It is true that some adults are deconditioned, but for those of us who train regularly, this is simply not applicable.
Myth #6
“At the age of 60, the body is mostly incapable of building large quantities of new muscle.”
This has to be the most ridiculous comment I have ever read.
Myth #7
“The main goal of working out should be to build some strength and reduce the risk for disease (primarily heart disease). Therefore, a workout should simply be to get the blood flowing and to build some strength without causing any serious injury in the process.”
If my trainer ever said this to me, I’d fire him.
Myth #8
“Supplementing protein shakes is unnecessary and pointless. At this age, the body can’t digest and absorb protein easily, which will result in excess bodily waste and weight gain from supplementation.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry for this little idiot.
SUMMARY
20-year-olds haven’t a clue about fitness routines for adult athletes, nor do they have any knowledge of our psychological predispositions.
In my gym, I routinely challenge college kids to jump in with me for sets, but so many have suffered injuries that they rarely show up anymore.
🙂
So, what REALLY are the best workouts for baby Boomers?
ANSWER: It’s a rhetorical question.
Relevance in Retrospect
Many of you will recognize the person in this photo, not that he cares…
“…You believe that what you are doing is of great importance and that it is affecting mankind wall-to-wall. And then when you get out of it you realize, oh, well, that wasn’t true at all. (laughter) It was just silliness… I realized, geez, I don’t think I care that much about television anymore. I feel foolish for having been misguided by my own ego for so many years.” David Letterman
~~~
At the end of a long career, many of us look back and wonder whether what we accomplished was such a big deal after all.
In other words, did we stack up?
I’ve noticed that many of those who come up short are in the entertainment industry, where ridiculous sums are paid to people who couldn’t hold a normal job if their lives depended on it.
I’m one of them, though I have to say I did hold a normal job for the whole of 3 months after graduating college.
It was at that point in my life when I realized I was going to have to go it alone, freelancing as a photographer – and, at the time – copywriter.
I bring this up because entertainment is where people who can’t make it anywhere else go.
It’s not for lack of intelligence, talent, tenacity and perseverance.
It’s for lack of fitting in anywhere else, including everywhere else.
No wonder those who are actually successful in entertainment are referred to as geniuses.
This said, most don’t consider success in entertainment a tremendous accomplishment in the context of mankind, and I guess this is where I’m going.
Letterman looks back and sees a talk show host who interviewed celebrities in exchange for tens of millions of dollars.
He doesn’t see a brain surgeon who saved lives; a forensic anthropologist working at the Smithsonian, or a research scientist searching for the cure for cancer.
On some level I’m sure he’d prefer people see him in proper context, particularly given the fact that he could buy and sell them a thousand times.
It’s embarrassing. I get it.
Recently, I had a conversation with a 72-year-old man who turned out to be a world-renowned organ transplant surgeon with 12 medical books to his credit.
The man was unassuming, but not without presence.
There was gravity in his tone which I found a bit disconcerting, honestly.
Who was this guy? And why was he not pretending to be someone he was not like so many others who never feel complete without a good back story?
He summed everything up in a sentence or two, and just walked away.
That was it.
It got me thinking that no matter what any of us do, we all play a role in what constitutes the totality of the human experience, whether it’s science, art, music, literature…or entertainment.
I don’t know that he needed to reflect on any of this, as his contributions could be counted one life after another.
But I’m sure that in his home one would find art on the walls, literature on the shelves, and memories of his favorite Letterman interviews.
In this sense, entertainment isn’t so ephemeral after all.
Nonetheless, entertainment is the one area of human existence that doesn’t require a formal education, a clean law enforcement record, or green light from the American Psychiatric Association.
No wonder Letterman got paid so much.
In Men, the Loss of Youth and Beauty are Replenished by Gains in Affluence
I’m twisting the intended narrative here, but the illustration to the left represents how most successful men visualize their roles in the context of the human food chain.
It’s called EGO because it supersedes logic in human populations.
Of course, if you’re rich, it can be argued that ego denotes empirical proof that delusion is everything but.
The illustration to the right is what reality looks and feels like after enough therapy and modest financial success.
Fortunately for men, financial success provides a way out of this existential nightmare, which is not to suggest that once handsome men don’t mourn the erosion of physical beauty, but money can often slow the process to a crawl.
Not so for women whose appearance is considered tantamount to good mental health, therapy notwithstanding.
With this as a backdrop, here is how the evolutionary process has played out for me, a successful Baby Boomer.
Without coming across as a conceited jerk, I was a very handsome young man. I dated pretty much anyone I wanted to date and became accustomed to attracting admirers every time I entered a room. Over time I learned to feed from the positive reflection, the energy that followed me around like a force field. Then as I got older, things changed, and I learned the hard way that while youth and money are the consummate fate, they rarely occur simultaneously. So I had figure out how to balance my assets.
~~~
THE BALANCING OF HUMAN ASSETS IS A UNIQUELY MALE PHENOMENON
Unlike women, men are able to age gracefully as long as the money holds up.
Put another way, money carries with it a certain preternatural quality that enables men to sidestep the aging process well into the final chapters.
In my experience, the reasoning goes something like this:
1] Women tend to be more inspired by what they feel ratter than what they see with their eyes.
[Note: This change takes place as women approach their late 20’s and are still unmarried and not in possession of a 7-figure investment portfolio.]
2] Security is like a opiate for women. Flashbacks occur over every stage of life reminding them that without it they are lost.
3] Wealthy older men can pretty much date anyone they want utilizing success and hubris as leverage.
On a very fundamental level, women see this and begin to feel that their greatest assets are, in fact, youth and beauty and that women in possession of such qualities tend to land in the better neighborhoods.
See, it isn’t that aging women fear death. It’s the fear that aging and losing the power of beauty eclipses all of their other accomplishments, mostly because it does.
For men, their accomplishments play an almost seamless stand-in for whatever time took.
Of course, all of us get screwed after enough water’s passed under the bridge.
But we’re far from maligned over a few wrinkles and gray hair.
In the end, it’s what we’ve accomplished that stands the test of time.
So while older women report feelings of irrelevance, invisibility and fear as they age, older men tend to report similar things when they’re financially challenged.
Successful Older Men Don’t “Choose” Younger Women
As covered in my new release, Urban Dystrophy [@Amazon], older men don’t point a finger and “choose” who they date, unless the woman in question is a prostitute with a voracious pimp.
There are no guns to anyone’s head, no coercion, no blackmail…and more often than not, no voodoo.
There are simply two people standing in the same space with motives of their own.
But no matter what those motives happen to be, women call the shots. Period. End of discussion.
The last time I felt deceived into believing that I called the shots was back in my 20’s, fueled by piss, vinegar and testosterone in equal measure.
Since that time, things have changed…for the better, frankly.
To say the very least, I’m happy not to be a woman in her 50’s scouring the earth for Prince Charming.
With this in mind, author Renee Fisher recently penned a tongue-in-cheek article titled, “Why Older Men Should Date Younger Women.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-fisher/why-older-men-should-date-younger-women_b_6938060.html
In it she posits 10 reasons why such paradigms “work.”
I will list them and follow with a reality-as-I-know-it discussion.
While I don’t have academic credentials working with people involved in age gap relationships, I have at least 3 doctorates in practical experience.
Before I start, allow me to offer some perspective on where Ms. Fisher is coming from…
She begins with “Women over the age of 50 have been complaining ever since their 50th birthday parties that men their age prefer younger women.”
This is what’s referred to as a set-up, as in you’re being set up to see things from a certain perspective, especially if you’re a female Baby Boomer who’s dating experiences mirror hers.
So here goes:
1. Younger women are universally hot and want sex all the time, except when they are reminding you to take your meds, cooking you great meals or sitting with you in front of the TV, watching all your favorite sports teams in action.
COMMENTS: While it is true that young women are universally hot, it has been my experience that sex happens at the same frequency it does in age-relevant relationships. I might also add that i am usually the one reminding the younger women in my life to take their meds, to learn how to cook, and to seek counseling for texting addiction. Nothing’s a panacea.
2. Younger women can explain all of the latest music, social media trends and technology to you in a way you can completely understand and appreciate.
COMMENTS: My girlfriend is a computer geek, and while I’m fluent in most geek-speak, getting her to explain something is like pulling teeth from a dragon.
3. Younger women would prefer to be in bed by 9 P.M., rather than going out to a trendy club.
COMMENTS: In spite of the obvious satire here, the younger women I’ve known are into health and fitness and enjoy evenings in front of computers, not bartenders.
4. Younger women take a sincere interest in learning everything they can about the ’50s and ’60s and ’70s.
COMMENTS: Why would I care whether or not someone took an interest in my generation’s formative years? All I have to do is keep an eye on my classic rock collection before it ends up in someone else’s classic rock collection.
5. Younger women love to give massages (while they are naked), apply medicinal salves and ointments to you (while they are naked), and are masters at cleaning your ears and cutting your hair (while they are naked)
COMMENTS: The only women of any age I know who do this are paid in cash.
6. Younger women are attracted to men who are paying alimony and/or child support.
COMMENTS: Younger women are attracted to men who can afford to pay their bills, all of them.
7. Younger women become easily aroused by nose and ear hair and reruns of “Gilligan’s Island.”
COMMENTS: Like women of all ages, grooming is something everyone expects to the same degree, and the last I checked, my girlfriend and I watch the same television shows.
8. Younger women know all the latest clothing styles, but prefer men who wear shorts, black socks and Crocs.
COMMENTS: At this writing my entire wardrobe consists of John Varvatos, Vince and Prada.
9. Younger women are universally hot and stay that way, no matter what.
COMMENTS: By the time I’m 80, my girlfriend will still be incredibly hot. So yes, she’s spot-on here.
10. The most compelling reason for the older man/younger woman scenario is the maturation rate of women vs men.
COMMENTS: The suggestion that sexual attraction to younger women somehow denotes immaturity is the same reason our planet hosts billions of human inhabitants.
In this sense, yea, we should probably all be in therapy.
~~~
“When you live as long as affluent men do, as well as they do, you can’t help but expect more out of life. A successful career is one thing, but just because you can afford beachfront property doesn’t mean you want to spend it with someone who reminds you that one day soon you’ll be buried underneath it.” Urban Dystrophy, Chapter 25, May/December.