Post Category → Fitness

Age Stereotypes? Think Again.

78-year-old-longboarder-lloyd-kahn__605

78-year-old skateboarder, Lloyd Kahn [above].

When I was back in my 40’s, I remember a 54-year-old guy telling me that, in no uncertain terms, life as he once knew it was “gone.”

He was referring to his once athletic frame, now reduced to a 3rd-term pregnant midsection and shoulder slope that reminded me of someone in the advanced stages of spinal stenosis.

Ten years later I happened to run into this once over-the-hill man and barely recognized him.

At age 64, the guy had literally transformed himself into an exemplary specimen of health.

He revealed to me that he’d hit rock bottom in his personal life, and that as a retired professional, he was bored and depressed.

“Debilitating depression” is the way he phrased it.

Retired too early. Kids gone. Marriage hum-drum. Life a downhill slide.

Imagine decades of this.

No wonder he checked himself into a clinic that specializes in helping men rediscover themselves, and the fire that used to burn white hot.

It obviously worked. And while his marriage didn’t survive the ordeal, he did.

Aging is a state of mind that starts innocently enough – a little reality check here and there – but it rapidly escalates into a malignant mindset that kills the spirit that once stole smiles, and filled hearts with love, joy…and hope.

WHY WOULD ANYONE WILLINGLY LET THIS GO?

No one should ever allow anyone convince you that you’re too old to do this or that, be this or that. 

If you can pull it off, you just raised the bar another notch.

Now they can kiss your ass.

It doesn’t matter that you don’t have the pitching arm you had back in the day.

Buy a skateboard.  

Nobody lays claim to what older men can and cannot do, physical disabilities [i.e., old injuries] notwithstanding.

But there are always workarounds.

Physicians are always warning older men to be careful in the gym; to act “responsibly, in deference to their age.”

But those same physicians are at death’s door decades before their time.

Check the source.

For the moment, I’ll leave you with this inspiring article.

I have to go to the gym.

http://www.boredpanda.com/senior-citizen-ageing-stereotypes-age-of-happiness-vladimir-yakovlev/

Have a kick-ass day.

Exclusive Health Clubs and the Darwinian Ecosystem

gold_digger

Darwin should have spent more time studying human behavior. It would have made the animal kingdom appear more evolved.

~ ~ ~

Now, what I’m about to say is done so out of the kindness of my heart, notwithstanding the fact that human nature is suspect under most circumstances.

Some of us have enough soul to communicate without ulterior motive, unless you consider lambasting a motive.

Let’s just say that people “acquire” what they can as long as they can get away with it.

“I’m an 18-year-old college coed with a beautiful face and flawless physique. I know that my popularity is tied to these features. And while I may struggle with the fact that physical beauty opens doors before anyone knows my first name, I tend to get over it. For a while, anyway. As I enter my mid-20’s, I notice changes, feel the pressure of expectations that force my hand to make decisions that challenge my ability to simply exist. Now I must do. But I’m addicted to the attention without having to lift a finger, and people now expect me to do something more than present well. Oh shit. Okay, let’s see. I have a degree in Business Administration, so I guess I better start sending out job applications. Seriously? I’m sending out job applications? For what? So I can prove to the world that there is more to me than a pretty face and a perfect ass? Well guess what? It’s changing!  I’m changing. My face is not as young as it was as a teenager, and now I have to workout all the friggin’ time to maintain my object status, which I don’t want to forsake for 60 hour workweeks. Oh dear god, what’s happening to me? I need to get married before I miss this opportunity! But I can’t just do that because then I’m just like every other pretty girl who did nothing with her life, but become someone’s wife and a mother to our children. Of course, the neighborhoods and vacations are nice. But I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. So I work and date and go to the gym to try to keep it all propped up until I start experiencing radical weight loss, depression and social withdrawal. So I go to therapy, where I discover that women are, in fact, objects, and that I have this one life, this one shot at making it before the flame is gone forever. So I capitulate, marrying a wealthy guy who knows my family. We buy a beautiful hone in a beautiful neighborhood and have two beautiful children. Now I’m 35, divorced with two kids and back on the dating market. I should have stuck with the 60 hour work week…”

More “enlightened” young women at my health club [i.e., less conflicted] embrace their object status and exploit it without mercy. 

They come to the gym fully loaded, ready for adventure and excitement under the pretense of training.

Oh, the train. They absolutely train, primarily their butt muscles, which carry enough firepower to land a nest-egg the size of a Volkswagen. 

They all know the score. All of us do, both men and women.

It’s why no one falls on the floor when they stretch and grind, particularly women who [on some level] respect their tenacity and focus.

One day, those same women will invite them into their lavish homes, and perhaps, introduce them to men far wealthier than their current husbands.

But as we all know, this is normal, well-adjusted behavior in a world where everything is for sale to the highest bidder.

Young men play a similar game. While they are often heard complaining about all the older men hoarding women their age, they certainly understand the power of money, which cuts through everything like a hot butter knife.

“I’m a 25-year-old guy with a great body and wealthy dad. One day I will inherit his business and the world will be mine. Actually, it already is mine, given the number of women I run through on a weekly basis. I know they appreciate good looks, and it’s always nice to find someone their own age. But what they really want is money. They call it security, but I know what they mean. They don’t want no matter what they tell me because sacrificing looks for business opportunity just isn’t worth jeopardizing the nice house and the country club membership. As for me, I’m just along for the ride. I date them and then forget their names. Marriage, or whatever, isn’t in the cards for me until I’m at least 40, at which point I’ll find the hottest 22-year-old on the planet.”  

In both instances, young men and women of this world – of my world – are pragmatic on every level. They know how life works and they leverage everything they have to achieve success as they see it.

This is not as much about love as is about survival of the fittest.

Then they can afford to love all they want.

Lifting Heavy Weight: The Older Man’s Fountain of Youth

17strong.2_650x426A FEW BENEFITS:

1] Boosts Metabolism

2] Burns Fat

3] Super-Charges Hormones

4] Increases Mass

5] Improves Posture

I dunno. It kinda sells itself. And yet I still hear grumblings from older men about the dangers of heavy weight-lifting.

“You’re going to throw out your back! You’ll have an aneurism any minute now! Those hips can only take so much!”

The one thing that stands out for me about older, deconditioned men is there self-loathing.

When Will Fashion Designers Roll Out Syringe Cases for Affluent Testosterone Junkies?

 

 

a7e0cde1-a0c5-431f-9703-97e91e5540b3_three_eighty

syringe-luer-lok-3cc-23g-x-1-547237-BIG_0At this writing, designer syringe cases for testosterone users do not exist.

Yea, I’m shocked too given the availability and use of the drug among affluent older men, particularly the ones who don’t need it, but still can’t live without it.

Nonetheless, Baby Boomers like myself have become targets of a nationwide advertising campaign to dope us into submission.

In a way, it’s like the old Wheaties ads, but more expensive.

Get up in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast, shoot up, get on with your day! It all sounds so innocent, almost healthy.

No wonder I am literally surrounded by men my age who “supplement,” as it’s commonly referred.

Most of them use synthetic testosterone in conjunction with Human Growth hormone [HGH], while others “stack” other variants to the mix in order to maximize performance and build lean mass.

This is considered normal by many, and counting.

The objective is to bring testosterone and HGH mainstream so that no one will think twice about grabbing prescriptions every time they buy toothpaste.

It must be working because I’d hard-pressed to point out more than a handful of a single older men who workout like I do who DON’T SUPPLEMENT.

They know the risks, they can read.

“Swollen and painful breasts, blood clots in the legs, increased risk for prostate cancer, problems breathing during sleep (sleep apnea), change in the size and shape of the testicles, and a low sperm count.”

But their physicians, the antagonists in this drama, downplay the side-effects in order to keep prescriptions filled.

“Oh, just come in for a blood test every three months to check your liver and PSA levels and you’ll be fine. Who doesn’t want more energy, a better sex drive, and more lean mass?”

So a year later THEY stroke out and the doctor attributes it to over-training.

All testosterone products contain a warning label about the potential for blood clots, but nobody pays any more attention to it than they do warning labels on Bayer aspirin.

So now your doctor is off the hook and your legal war is with the drug cartels and insurance giants who can buy and sell you thousands of times, bleeding you so white with attorney’s fees you throw your hands up and surrender.

The only people who can win this war are the ones keeping it going: Users.

Stop using and they go away.

Otherwise, expect the process of demand and supply to run on all cylinders.

According to an article published in Scientific American, nearly 3 percent of American men aged 40 and older are thought to have received testosterone scripts in 2011 — three times the percentage in 2001. (If confirmed, the 2011 ratio could mean that perhaps two million older men in the U.S. have been given prescriptions for testosterone.)

In 2014, the numbers are probably twice that.

Here’s the article:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/increasing-testosterone-use-raises-safety-concerns/

As an older man who is literally inundated with chatter about “Low T,” I can attest to its allure.

More energy on less sleep, and a body from hell at age 60.

I dunno, it kinda sells itself.

One reader responded to this article with a familiar refrain:

“The problem is that the criteria doesn’t know what my testosterone levels should be for my age. The average testosterone levels are established for men between the ages of 18 and 80. I am not 18 nor 80 but one specific age. But the data show nothing about these numbers.”

As everyone in this game knows, the key to deciding whether or not to start a testosterone regimen comes down to the numbers.

In other words, what should my numbers be for someone my age?

This, my friends, is at the very crux of the controversy.

If the prescribing physician raises the baseline for what we’re told the Tes levels of a 60-year-old man should be, then we damn well need more testosterone. 

This well written Atlantic Magazine article below covers this controversy in more detail:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/should-the-modern-man-be-taking-testosterone/274663/

SUMMARY

I’m not a member of the testosterone club.

I have to sleep 8 hours a night, cycle my workouts for maximum recovery, spend no more than 1 hour a day at the gym [rather than 6], and eat pretty much perfectly – no trash foods ever.

This is the price I pay for being my age.

My testosterone levels are well within the normal range, not the range of a 19-year-old.

I have to make peace with that.

I can only do what my body allows at this age and under optimum lifestyle choices.

The rest is up to nature.

If I choose to visit one of the well-known physicians here in Houston who write millions in testosterone and HGH prescriptions every year, I am sure to walk out with a full bag of goodies to remedy my “flagging health.”

Note: I currently hold the Texas State record for the RAW deadlift, within my weight and age division, through he USAPL, which strictly forbids the use of steroids.

POSTSCRIPT

There are a few men who have what is referred to as hypogonadism where the body doesn’t produce enough testosterone.

The condition is rare, but it does occur, and in such case testosterone supplementation becomes necessary in order for a man to live a full, healthy life.

I also know bodybuilders who simply cannot achieve the mass necessary to win contests without dramatically increasing testosterone levels.

It’s just part of that sport, but also a source of unbelievable acrimony from users in denial about the risks.

If you don’t believe me, go on any bodybuilding site and mention health risks associated with testosterone supplementation and you’ll end up closing your account until the vitriol calms down.

In the end, no junkie in his right mind wants to be told that crack cocaine is bad for his health anymore than an exercise addict wants to hear about the downsides of anorexia.

Middle-Age Strikes Back

duhboys

[from left] Bill, Tim 36 [trainer], John and Yours Truly.

I’m not going to tell you life in the middle to later years is a cakewalk.

It isn’t.

Making matters even worse is that fact that men tend to walk the road alone, which is why most of need back-up.

This is what back-up looks like.

In this context, there is also something to be said for co-dependence.

The Rich Fantasy Lives of Urban Middle-Aged Men…and the Cognitive Skills to Survive Them.

winners-never-give-up

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He says, “Bill, I believe this is killing me.”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place…” Piano Man, Billy Joel

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

1] Why am I not a rock star?

2] Why don’t I have my own syndicated radio talk show?

3] Why am I not taking Letterman’s place?

4] Why aren’t the phones ringing off the hook with glamorous acting jobs, TV appearance bookings, 7-figure book deals?

5] Why don’t I own a Gulfstream?

6] Where is my entourage?

7]\ Where am I?

8] Who am I?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

If any of this sounds familiar, welcome to midlife, a precarious period in a man’s life, usually between the ages of 48 and 64, when everything you did in your life is now done and everything ahead is on thin ice.

While most of these items listed are exaggerations, the psychopathology behind them is everything but.

To combat this aberration of thought [self-persecution], I’d like to start an exercise I rely on to get me through the noise when it’s so loud I want to take up cliff diving.

First, I want you to put your hands on a Magic Marker. I prefer black ink because its more direct.

Then, get a large sketch pad which you can find at any Office Max.

Now, open the marker and draw a straight line down the center of the page.

On the left, write down the question you’re pondering; the one that triggers rage, anxiety and depression.

For our purposes here, let’s start with question #1:

#1] Why am I not a rock star?

For most of us, the right side of the column will look something like this:

a] Because I’m not a professional musician.

b] Because I chose to attend Business school in Rhode Island rather than sleep on the streets in Hollywood.

c] Because I’m risk-averse, in general.

Excellent. So now you’re answering your own questions and can now go back to enjoying your lunch.

#2] Why don’t I have my own syndicated radio talk show?

a] Because I’m not in the radio business.

b] Because I have never been in the radio business.

c] Because I had no interest in the radio business until “Rush Limbaugh” made me rethink that decision.

#3] Why am I not taking Letterman’s place?

a] Because Stephen Colbert just took it.

b] Because you’re not a stand-up comedian.

c] Because you’re not, nor have you ever been, in the television business, and therefore, neither you nor Mr. Colbert are in competition.

#4] Why aren’t the phones ringing off the hook with glamorous acting jobs, TV appearance bookings, 7-figure book deals?

a] Are you currently a professional actor? If not, scratch the first one. 

b] TV appearances usually involve people who either survived a jump out of a commercial airliner without a parachute, or those born into a celebrity families they can’t wait to tell the world about. 

c] As for “7-figure book deals” NOT involving celebrity gossip, you might ask yourself if you’ve ever written a book, much less taken a course in high school English. 

#5] Why don’t I own a Gulfstream?

a] Most celebrities cannot afford to own Gulfstream aircraft, so they buy timeshares in them.

b] The oil and gas company you’ve been working for has a fleet of 7 Gulfstreams. If you had become a Vice-President, you’d been flying on one yourself.

c] Most people who can afford to outright own their own jets were usually born into the money. The rest you can count on two hands.

#6] Where is my entourage?

a] You have a wife, three kids, two cats and a Labrador Retriever. Isn’t that enough?

b] Once you’re past a certain age the last thing you want is to be bothered by an entourage, much less anything – or anyone with their hand out. 

c] Entourages are for elite professional boxers who will probably blow through everything before they hit your age. Way before. I can name names you already know.

#7] Where am I?

a] By this, most middle-aged men are referring to where they are in the context of their lives and accomplishments. So start jotting down your accomplishments – without comparing them with people you don’t know, but can’t stop hearing about.

b] If you’re still healthy, reasonably happy, and financially secure at middle age, you’re a celebrity to anyone who is not. 

c] If you have a swimming pool in addition to everything else, you deserve a backhand from God.

And finally…

#8] Who am I?

a] I might suggest ancestry.com.

If this isn’t what you’re referring to, dial 911. 

“Dadbods” and the Soccer Moms Who Love Them

leonardo-dicaprio-MAIN

In this photograph, Leonardo DiCaprio sports the sexy new “Dadbod.”

http://hiit-blog.dailyhiit.com/hiit-life/leonardo-dicaprios-dadbod-is-the-new-hot-body-type-for-men/

I added a second link below of a survey of women who seem to prefer a bit of flab over super fit by a wide margin [no puns].

http://hiit-blog.dailyhiit.com/hiit-community/75-women-prefer-flab-abs/

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Men of my age [and socioeconomic demographic] feel entitled to physically beautiful women because beautiful women feel entitled to men of relative achievement and success.

The more success = the more beauty.

It’s a simple equation that cuts both ways.

And while no one complains about both parties being in top physical condition, women are less inclined to appreciate what they consider to be physical competition.

Why?

1] It makes them feel less secure about their bodies than they already do, no matter how beautiful they happen to be.

2] It makes aging an even bigger existential nightmare than it already is since older people look worse than younger people no matter what Koolaid you’re drinking. 

3] It forces women to sleep with one eye open knowing other women are angling for their successful – and damn good looking– husbands, which places even more pressure on them to remain physically flawless, even though it’s physically impossible.

SUMMARY

While most in-shape women would probably consider DiCaprio out of shape and in dire need of a bra, they would also be the first ones in line should he express an interest in them.

The same cannot be said of men if the woman in question happened to be physically unattractive.

This disparity is at the crux of the phenomenon.

Bad Lighting the Leading Cause of Spontaneous Low Self-Esteem Among Middle-Aged People…[or any people over the age of 17]

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http://thoughtcatalog.com/emma-golden/2014/02/dear-nordstroms-dressing-rooms-please-stop/

I don’t care how good you think you look, how many days a week you work out, how clean you eat, how smoke-free you are, how moderately you drink, how much rest you get, how hydrated you stay, or how reasonable your stress levels – one day you will find yourself trying on bathing suits at Nordstrom’s and walking out with your therapist on the phone.

Blame the lighting.

Fluorescent lighting has shown to agitate, depress and turn violent aging rats, so you know its true of humans.

Of course, kids love bright lights.

They can see themselves and everyone else with crystal clarity, imperfections and all…which is the point since you can’t find any.

They aren’t conscious of harsh shadows, crows feet, sagging skin, thinning hair, or any of the other line items of attrition that aging ushers forth in the rest of us with a smirk.

Old people also like bright light because they don’t want to trip on something and break a hip. It also bears noting that because they’re old beyond anything lighting can further damage, vanity isn’t on the table. Now it’s just plain physical survival.

Additional note: Old people also tend to read things once known as newspapers, which don’t project, but rather absorb light.

For the rest of us, it’s an existential nightmare.

In my case, bright overhead lights can trigger ocular migraines, and sometimes, the things I cited about rats.

With lighting being such a big deal to people caught between youth and old age [the same demographic with all the money and power], why then do businesses not seem to take this into account?

Let’s take a look at the 5 worst offenders, “1” being the worst:

#1 Department Store dressing rooms.

#2 Restaurants

#3 Coffee shops

#4 Office buildings

#5 Art galleries

~~~  ~~~  ~~~

#1 Walk into most department store dressing rooms [Nordstrom’s being the worst], and every positive thought you ever had about the the way you look – all the trials and tribulations you endured to get there – are now in ruin.

When I enter the dressing rooms at Neiman Marcus in Houston, there are two sets of lights: One set in the front, and one behind. They are controlled by light switches next to the door. What I do is turn off the ones in front of me and use the back lights as fill-only. They are indirect, so what I experience is bounced light [off the back wall] which is plenty enough to fill in all the spaces without burning out my brain cells. The guys who bring clothing to me often flick the other switch back on when entering the dressing room as if something was wrong, but explain to them that something will be wrong if they touch it again, they get the idea.

See, their idea is to highlight the clothing, while the customer is far more interested in seeing how animate and inanimate objects work together.

If I ran a department store, the first thing I would take into consideration is how good I can get my customers to feel about themselves in my $1000 jackets.

#2 Have you ever wondered why restaurants are such dumb-asses about lighting? You have all these people spending a fortune on clothing and prep time to come to your establishment to look the best they possibly can, and you single-handedly destroy their evening with your crappy drugstore lighting. When I walk into ANY high-end restaurant, I have the same expectations I have of live theater. Great performances under beautiful light. Unfortunately, that table for 4 in the corner corner has a spotlight on one of the seats, which is why the last person to arrive gets it.

Restaurants should make flattering light a priority, but for whatever reason don’t. There are exceptions, but not many.

Note: I have offered my lighting advice to restauranteurs throughout Houston, but have yet to find a taker. Stupid is as stupid does, I guess.

#3  Coffee shops are places people go to socialize and/or get work done outside of the house. But they’re greater purpose is providing a more civilized environment to hook up under the pretense of everything but. With this in mind, would it not best serve the financial objectives of these establishments to make them as comfortable [and flattering] as possible? Notice that, once again, most people tend to sit in the seats without the halogen over them like a death star.

#4 Yesterday I had the occasion to walk into the sales offices of my health club. What I noticed was that the entrance area was lit with florescence, but every individual was lit like a psychiatrist’s office: Warm, soothing, and serene enough to calm even the most anxiety-ridden patient. No wonder the place has over 7000 members.

#5  Art galleries must come to a place of acceptance that the art on display is secondary to how people feel about themselves when looking at it. I can’t count the number of galleries [many of the same ones I exhibit in], that place spot lights on both the art and the people viewing it. Why is this? Please tell me why we need to light the people in attendance?!? Is is laziness? Stupidity? Both? I don’t get it. Focus on the art, flatter the people and the sales will mount. Enough already.

SUMMARY

Not everyone is like me.

Some people my age just don’t care what they look like.

I’ve been told this is true, but have yet to meet any of these people.

 

Steroid Use Among Affluent Urban Boomers Considered “Maintenance”

article-1294029-0A65EBCC000005DC-498_233x388

What you’re looking at is a close-up of Sylvester Stallone’s left arm, wrapped in what appears to be distended tunneling, courtesy of steroids.

It was then shaven and bronzed to set off the highlights.

This is what aging gracefully looks like to many affluent urban men; the same men who berate older women for plastic surgery overkill, but I digress.

Taking testosterone in combination with Human Growth Hormone [HGH] usually starts when a man hits his mid to late 50’s and realizes his endurance isn’t what it used to be.

He may also notice that losing body-fat requires twice the effort and ten times the pain, not to mention the emotional pain of endless dieting.

So he turns to testosterone because on a certain level it works as advertised.

You bleed body-fat while building muscle on half the sleep and twice the energy.

Bingo.

It’s become so “mainstream” I’m sure Prada will soon design cases for all the syringes.

My trainer knows which of his older clients ” juice” and which don’t and then trains us all accordingly.

I happen to be in the minority of men who do not take testosterone, which means I can only train hard 3 days a week for one hour, instead of 6 days for 3 hours a session.

As a result, my arms also don’t look like Stallone’s in spite of the fact that they are still lean and muscular.

As for my abs, they are visible, but not distended and sunken around preternatural ravines.

Remember, steroids build muscle everywhere except for the sexual organs, where they tend to have the opposite effect.

The upside for me is as follows:

1] My body can still produce its own testosterone naturally

2] I don’t need regular blood-work to scan for high PSA levels

3] I don’t succumb to things like road rage in spite of my already passionate nature. 

The downside for me is psychological: I am at a disadvantage around the men I train with who recover like teenagers on 4 hours of sleep.

It can be depressing, believe me. I’m walking wounded while they bounce off the walls like rabbits on methamphetamine.

Needless to say, the pressure to capitulate to the testosterone craze allure is constant.

I literally struggle every day to remain sober, this as the cacophony of radio and television ads and infomercials extol the virtues of the needle under the pretense of wellness.

With this as a backdrop, I have a power-lifting meet this July.

In order to exceed my previous records, I not only have to train brutally hard, but even more importantly, brutally smart given my mortal attributes.

At this writing, I’m still on the wagon. But it takes ever fiber of willpower not to indulge just once in the fountain if youth.

Fortunately, the USAPL drug tests, so there’s that.

But I know that time alone will tell whether or not I take the plunge because I certainly can’t guarantee it at this writing.

Stay tuned.