Post Category → health

When Will Fashion Designers Roll Out Syringe Cases for Affluent Testosterone Junkies?

 

 

a7e0cde1-a0c5-431f-9703-97e91e5540b3_three_eighty

syringe-luer-lok-3cc-23g-x-1-547237-BIG_0At this writing, designer syringe cases for testosterone users do not exist.

Yea, I’m shocked too given the availability and use of the drug among affluent older men, particularly the ones who don’t need it, but still can’t live without it.

Nonetheless, Baby Boomers like myself have become targets of a nationwide advertising campaign to dope us into submission.

In a way, it’s like the old Wheaties ads, but more expensive.

Get up in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast, shoot up, get on with your day! It all sounds so innocent, almost healthy.

No wonder I am literally surrounded by men my age who “supplement,” as it’s commonly referred.

Most of them use synthetic testosterone in conjunction with Human Growth hormone [HGH], while others “stack” other variants to the mix in order to maximize performance and build lean mass.

This is considered normal by many, and counting.

The objective is to bring testosterone and HGH mainstream so that no one will think twice about grabbing prescriptions every time they buy toothpaste.

It must be working because I’d hard-pressed to point out more than a handful of a single older men who workout like I do who DON’T SUPPLEMENT.

They know the risks, they can read.

“Swollen and painful breasts, blood clots in the legs, increased risk for prostate cancer, problems breathing during sleep (sleep apnea), change in the size and shape of the testicles, and a low sperm count.”

But their physicians, the antagonists in this drama, downplay the side-effects in order to keep prescriptions filled.

“Oh, just come in for a blood test every three months to check your liver and PSA levels and you’ll be fine. Who doesn’t want more energy, a better sex drive, and more lean mass?”

So a year later THEY stroke out and the doctor attributes it to over-training.

All testosterone products contain a warning label about the potential for blood clots, but nobody pays any more attention to it than they do warning labels on Bayer aspirin.

So now your doctor is off the hook and your legal war is with the drug cartels and insurance giants who can buy and sell you thousands of times, bleeding you so white with attorney’s fees you throw your hands up and surrender.

The only people who can win this war are the ones keeping it going: Users.

Stop using and they go away.

Otherwise, expect the process of demand and supply to run on all cylinders.

According to an article published in Scientific American, nearly 3 percent of American men aged 40 and older are thought to have received testosterone scripts in 2011 — three times the percentage in 2001. (If confirmed, the 2011 ratio could mean that perhaps two million older men in the U.S. have been given prescriptions for testosterone.)

In 2014, the numbers are probably twice that.

Here’s the article:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/increasing-testosterone-use-raises-safety-concerns/

As an older man who is literally inundated with chatter about “Low T,” I can attest to its allure.

More energy on less sleep, and a body from hell at age 60.

I dunno, it kinda sells itself.

One reader responded to this article with a familiar refrain:

“The problem is that the criteria doesn’t know what my testosterone levels should be for my age. The average testosterone levels are established for men between the ages of 18 and 80. I am not 18 nor 80 but one specific age. But the data show nothing about these numbers.”

As everyone in this game knows, the key to deciding whether or not to start a testosterone regimen comes down to the numbers.

In other words, what should my numbers be for someone my age?

This, my friends, is at the very crux of the controversy.

If the prescribing physician raises the baseline for what we’re told the Tes levels of a 60-year-old man should be, then we damn well need more testosterone. 

This well written Atlantic Magazine article below covers this controversy in more detail:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/should-the-modern-man-be-taking-testosterone/274663/

SUMMARY

I’m not a member of the testosterone club.

I have to sleep 8 hours a night, cycle my workouts for maximum recovery, spend no more than 1 hour a day at the gym [rather than 6], and eat pretty much perfectly – no trash foods ever.

This is the price I pay for being my age.

My testosterone levels are well within the normal range, not the range of a 19-year-old.

I have to make peace with that.

I can only do what my body allows at this age and under optimum lifestyle choices.

The rest is up to nature.

If I choose to visit one of the well-known physicians here in Houston who write millions in testosterone and HGH prescriptions every year, I am sure to walk out with a full bag of goodies to remedy my “flagging health.”

Note: I currently hold the Texas State record for the RAW deadlift, within my weight and age division, through he USAPL, which strictly forbids the use of steroids.

POSTSCRIPT

There are a few men who have what is referred to as hypogonadism where the body doesn’t produce enough testosterone.

The condition is rare, but it does occur, and in such case testosterone supplementation becomes necessary in order for a man to live a full, healthy life.

I also know bodybuilders who simply cannot achieve the mass necessary to win contests without dramatically increasing testosterone levels.

It’s just part of that sport, but also a source of unbelievable acrimony from users in denial about the risks.

If you don’t believe me, go on any bodybuilding site and mention health risks associated with testosterone supplementation and you’ll end up closing your account until the vitriol calms down.

In the end, no junkie in his right mind wants to be told that crack cocaine is bad for his health anymore than an exercise addict wants to hear about the downsides of anorexia.

Self Confidence is Key to Aging Gracefully for Older Men

 

australian actors, (8)

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you’re a Baby Boomer, you know all about the ebb and flow of self-confidence.

You may consider yourself “extremely” confident on matters of financial achievement, but on a more personal note, find yourself less than enthused.

It’s all about how it balances out in the end, and believe me, we’re all running the numbers.

So what do men fear most about aging?

1] It’s been my personal experience that most of us fear being old and broke. Not Old. But old and broke. There’s a difference.

My advice to all young guys is to choose your careers wisely, because there will come a day when windfall will become necessary in order to live out your years in comfort, rather than under a bridge.

2] Irrelevance. Yea, irrelevance. And no, not everyone is relevant in their own minds, families notwithstanding.

Men are used to being useful, and when they are no longer working, they die one way or the other.

3] Balding, followed by greying. I know I know. It’s superficial, and besides lots of men shave their heads.

But balding remains on the very top of men’s concerns next to colon cancer.

There are many less than stellar work arounds for this problem, but no matter what you do, the emotional damage is indelible and life-changing.

Some men are blessed with perfect hair. They are the very, very fortunate few…like movie stars who made it to the top without the right last names.

Adding insult to injury, men with perfect hair don’t have to be the most handsome, or in possession of flawless physiques.

This is because the preternatural nature of their everlasting hairlines more than balances the scales.

There is no upside to hair loss unless you have a perfectly shaped “boxy-muscular” head like Jason Statham, which arguably enhances his appearance.

So there is an upside for Jason Statham.

4] The ubiquitous Potbelly, in my view, is far worse than any hairline recession, because a man can actually do something about it without a surgeon or wig manufacturer.

If you can afford to just not give a crap what people think, and live your life in the back woods of Tennessee, fine.

If not, you’ll be the punchline of every joke about aging men.

5] Impotence. When your penis ceases to perform, no amount of money [or hair] in the world will make you feel like a man.

Fortunately for older men, there are ED meds.

Lots of them.

6] Death. Men don’t necessarily fear what happens to them after they die as much as they do what happens to those they leave behind.

This is an irrational thought process, but I actually know men who wonder whether or not their wives are going to start sleeping with the neighbor the second the funeral ends.

Summary

We’re all screwed eventually.

The best we can do is plan ahead financially, work until the day we die, go to therapy to overcome issues with balding [since nobody cares if #1 is in proper order], workout like we did in college, take ED meds when necessary, and come to terms with the fact

that life goes on after we die.

Now you have something to live for.

The “Middle-Aged Men in Lycra” [MAMIL] Phenomenon

23C7149D00000578-2869069-image-a-39_1418256370165

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2869069/Oh-shame-married-MAMIL-s-Middle-Aged-Man-Lycra.html

Daily Mail ran an article last year about the “middle-aged man in Lycra” phenomenon, and since that time the situation has gone viral.

Even the Chinese see the uptick in local Lycra sales.

From the perspective of an older man who went through the Lycra phrase back in the 90’s, I can tell you in no uncertain terms that it’s the middle-aged man’s last stand.

If it’s not the ’69 Chevy Camaro, it’s going to be the Lycra.

Get used to it, because one way or the other, they’re going in.

They want to be who they once were – or wanted to be – now that they can afford it without having to sell the kitchen sink on Ebay.

Of course their wives of 20 years are dumbfounded witnessing their once normal and well adjusted husbands in clothing and accessories usually reserved for circus acts or Dr. Who reruns.

But this is how middle-age often manifests in men, particularly in those of achievement and ambition.

Some of us buy boats, motorcycles and cars. Others buy women.

But the last damn thing we do is buy into mortality.

Some of us look ridiculous doing the things we do, while others pull the same things off with aplomb.

It all gets down to self-actualization.

If you don’t have it, you end up looking like the caricature in the photo above.

If you do, you end up looking more along the lines of this:

HalfIronmanBike

But “Scooby” [pictured above], is a fitness guru, not an accountant turned fitness fanatic in his 50’s.

There’s a difference.

Most older men who start late with the fitness lifestyle tend to morph from spin class [for cardiovascular health] into walking billboards for cycling manufacturers.

Most of them are late learners who see this as an opportunity to become the men they’ve always wanted to be – but couldn’t – due to 60 hour work weeks, family obligations and travel.

Nonetheless, older men still look ridiculous in this crap. Hell, everyone looks ridiculous in it.

But older men become the scapegoat for everything that doesn’t fade and die the way it’s “supposed” to.

Of course, most men who did what they were told never made it to the top, which is why you rarely hear their wives complaining about their nice neighborhoods.

POSTSCRIPT

For many men, cycling is a way to connect with others the way they did back in their college days.

Men are not particularly good at mid-life bonding, so it’s arguable that cycling serves a greater purpose.

Personally, I think that anything that gives men purpose gives the people in their lives hope.

POST-POSTSCRIPT

I thought this was funny, so I’ll share it with you.

There’s this guy around me age who spent his life as an accountant for a medium-sized oil and gas firm.

He was a mousy little man, quiet and unassuming.

Then one day he sold his shares in the company and retired with his then middle-aged wife.

Suddenly, the guy shows up last week in psychedelic Lycra biking tights; his arms ripped and muscular, his face sporting a certain indigence that suggested a new-found aggression.

Sadly, his wife who looked totally out of place hanging out with her “new” jacked and steroid-fueled husband, and together they walk towards the gym, the woman trailing behind.

I bring this up because some guys should just stay in the shadows.

As I’ve always said, if you can pull off whatever it is you’re trying to do/be, by all means go for it.

But you need to be self-aware enough to know the difference between pulling it off and making a complete fool of yourself – and your wife in the process.  

With this in mind, I’m sure said wife is the next to go.

The Rich Fantasy Lives of Urban Middle-Aged Men…and the Cognitive Skills to Survive Them.

winners-never-give-up

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He says, “Bill, I believe this is killing me.”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place…” Piano Man, Billy Joel

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

1] Why am I not a rock star?

2] Why don’t I have my own syndicated radio talk show?

3] Why am I not taking Letterman’s place?

4] Why aren’t the phones ringing off the hook with glamorous acting jobs, TV appearance bookings, 7-figure book deals?

5] Why don’t I own a Gulfstream?

6] Where is my entourage?

7]\ Where am I?

8] Who am I?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

If any of this sounds familiar, welcome to midlife, a precarious period in a man’s life, usually between the ages of 48 and 64, when everything you did in your life is now done and everything ahead is on thin ice.

While most of these items listed are exaggerations, the psychopathology behind them is everything but.

To combat this aberration of thought [self-persecution], I’d like to start an exercise I rely on to get me through the noise when it’s so loud I want to take up cliff diving.

First, I want you to put your hands on a Magic Marker. I prefer black ink because its more direct.

Then, get a large sketch pad which you can find at any Office Max.

Now, open the marker and draw a straight line down the center of the page.

On the left, write down the question you’re pondering; the one that triggers rage, anxiety and depression.

For our purposes here, let’s start with question #1:

#1] Why am I not a rock star?

For most of us, the right side of the column will look something like this:

a] Because I’m not a professional musician.

b] Because I chose to attend Business school in Rhode Island rather than sleep on the streets in Hollywood.

c] Because I’m risk-averse, in general.

Excellent. So now you’re answering your own questions and can now go back to enjoying your lunch.

#2] Why don’t I have my own syndicated radio talk show?

a] Because I’m not in the radio business.

b] Because I have never been in the radio business.

c] Because I had no interest in the radio business until “Rush Limbaugh” made me rethink that decision.

#3] Why am I not taking Letterman’s place?

a] Because Stephen Colbert just took it.

b] Because you’re not a stand-up comedian.

c] Because you’re not, nor have you ever been, in the television business, and therefore, neither you nor Mr. Colbert are in competition.

#4] Why aren’t the phones ringing off the hook with glamorous acting jobs, TV appearance bookings, 7-figure book deals?

a] Are you currently a professional actor? If not, scratch the first one. 

b] TV appearances usually involve people who either survived a jump out of a commercial airliner without a parachute, or those born into a celebrity families they can’t wait to tell the world about. 

c] As for “7-figure book deals” NOT involving celebrity gossip, you might ask yourself if you’ve ever written a book, much less taken a course in high school English. 

#5] Why don’t I own a Gulfstream?

a] Most celebrities cannot afford to own Gulfstream aircraft, so they buy timeshares in them.

b] The oil and gas company you’ve been working for has a fleet of 7 Gulfstreams. If you had become a Vice-President, you’d been flying on one yourself.

c] Most people who can afford to outright own their own jets were usually born into the money. The rest you can count on two hands.

#6] Where is my entourage?

a] You have a wife, three kids, two cats and a Labrador Retriever. Isn’t that enough?

b] Once you’re past a certain age the last thing you want is to be bothered by an entourage, much less anything – or anyone with their hand out. 

c] Entourages are for elite professional boxers who will probably blow through everything before they hit your age. Way before. I can name names you already know.

#7] Where am I?

a] By this, most middle-aged men are referring to where they are in the context of their lives and accomplishments. So start jotting down your accomplishments – without comparing them with people you don’t know, but can’t stop hearing about.

b] If you’re still healthy, reasonably happy, and financially secure at middle age, you’re a celebrity to anyone who is not. 

c] If you have a swimming pool in addition to everything else, you deserve a backhand from God.

And finally…

#8] Who am I?

a] I might suggest ancestry.com.

If this isn’t what you’re referring to, dial 911. 

“Dadbods” and the Soccer Moms Who Love Them

leonardo-dicaprio-MAIN

In this photograph, Leonardo DiCaprio sports the sexy new “Dadbod.”

http://hiit-blog.dailyhiit.com/hiit-life/leonardo-dicaprios-dadbod-is-the-new-hot-body-type-for-men/

I added a second link below of a survey of women who seem to prefer a bit of flab over super fit by a wide margin [no puns].

http://hiit-blog.dailyhiit.com/hiit-community/75-women-prefer-flab-abs/

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Men of my age [and socioeconomic demographic] feel entitled to physically beautiful women because beautiful women feel entitled to men of relative achievement and success.

The more success = the more beauty.

It’s a simple equation that cuts both ways.

And while no one complains about both parties being in top physical condition, women are less inclined to appreciate what they consider to be physical competition.

Why?

1] It makes them feel less secure about their bodies than they already do, no matter how beautiful they happen to be.

2] It makes aging an even bigger existential nightmare than it already is since older people look worse than younger people no matter what Koolaid you’re drinking. 

3] It forces women to sleep with one eye open knowing other women are angling for their successful – and damn good looking– husbands, which places even more pressure on them to remain physically flawless, even though it’s physically impossible.

SUMMARY

While most in-shape women would probably consider DiCaprio out of shape and in dire need of a bra, they would also be the first ones in line should he express an interest in them.

The same cannot be said of men if the woman in question happened to be physically unattractive.

This disparity is at the crux of the phenomenon.

Why Men Act Strangely at Middle Age…and Beyond?

bruce jenner 1979 ap

Bruce Jenner, 1976 Summer Olympics, Montreal.

bruce-jenner-gender-surgeryBruce Jenner at age 65, and transitioning into a woman.

Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer, 2015.

~~~

Eventually, we all reach a point in life when we start running the actuarial tables, and realize that less days are ahead than behind.

We’ve done it all; been successful, respected, loved and experienced life in all its glory more times than we can count.

Now what?

Here we are at the precipice of twilight, with money in the bank, time on our hands to be the person we always wanted to be, and a stopwatch on the horizon the size of the sun. 

It has a way of pressuring us in ways that you have to experience yourself to appreciate.

Some men continue doing what they’ve always done: making movies, transplanting hearts, writing books.

Others explore hobbies they never had time to pursue during the career years, like sailing, skydiving or marathon running.

Among them there are those who lived their lives in ways they considered disingenuous, in spite of all the professional accolades, familial surroundings and beers with the guys during football season.

Men, in general, are not comfortable discussing anything but radiator leaks and headaches, so visualize an aging, one-time Olympic gold-medalist and reality television star with an gender identity issue and Bruce Jenner begins to make sense.

The carnage has to find its way out somehow, and since he’s not getting any younger, and can afford the procedures and security details, why not?

If I were a gay man trapped in a heterosexual relationship, this would be a good time to get a divorce.

If I felt trapped in corporate conformity for the sake of the almighty dollar, I might find myself ditching it all for a job as a trail guide in Telluride, or bar owner down in Acapulco.

Again, if not now, when?

Older men of ambition and drive are still fueled by the same forces that paved the way for their success. These forces don’t die. They do, however, morph, often resurrected when time starts running out and fantasies are still doable.

Jenner’s transition may or may not be a symptom of some severe psychiatric disorder, but he still manages to function in society, pay his taxes, do a reality television show…and show up on time for an interview with Diane Sawyer.

Insanity is not the first thing that comes to mind. Curious, is.

The extreme juxtaposition of masculine Olympian with transgendered person.

But contextually, it’s no different than a “traditional family man” and closeted homicidal sociopath, so there’s that.

And besides, most older men I know are not the people they present.

Some are men of the cloth, and child molesters; others happily married to one woman and happily screwing another. You just never know.

At least Jenner was open about it.

Whatever else he may or may not have done in his life is his business.

You may not like it. You may find him repugnant, deluded, lost. But it’s not your life. Thankfully, you don’t stand in his shoes.

As for it’s impact on society, it’s all about parenting.

Without it, there is no society to speak of as evidenced by children running the streets like revenants from hell.

Steroid Use Among Affluent Urban Boomers Considered “Maintenance”

article-1294029-0A65EBCC000005DC-498_233x388

What you’re looking at is a close-up of Sylvester Stallone’s left arm, wrapped in what appears to be distended tunneling, courtesy of steroids.

It was then shaven and bronzed to set off the highlights.

This is what aging gracefully looks like to many affluent urban men; the same men who berate older women for plastic surgery overkill, but I digress.

Taking testosterone in combination with Human Growth Hormone [HGH] usually starts when a man hits his mid to late 50’s and realizes his endurance isn’t what it used to be.

He may also notice that losing body-fat requires twice the effort and ten times the pain, not to mention the emotional pain of endless dieting.

So he turns to testosterone because on a certain level it works as advertised.

You bleed body-fat while building muscle on half the sleep and twice the energy.

Bingo.

It’s become so “mainstream” I’m sure Prada will soon design cases for all the syringes.

My trainer knows which of his older clients ” juice” and which don’t and then trains us all accordingly.

I happen to be in the minority of men who do not take testosterone, which means I can only train hard 3 days a week for one hour, instead of 6 days for 3 hours a session.

As a result, my arms also don’t look like Stallone’s in spite of the fact that they are still lean and muscular.

As for my abs, they are visible, but not distended and sunken around preternatural ravines.

Remember, steroids build muscle everywhere except for the sexual organs, where they tend to have the opposite effect.

The upside for me is as follows:

1] My body can still produce its own testosterone naturally

2] I don’t need regular blood-work to scan for high PSA levels

3] I don’t succumb to things like road rage in spite of my already passionate nature. 

The downside for me is psychological: I am at a disadvantage around the men I train with who recover like teenagers on 4 hours of sleep.

It can be depressing, believe me. I’m walking wounded while they bounce off the walls like rabbits on methamphetamine.

Needless to say, the pressure to capitulate to the testosterone craze allure is constant.

I literally struggle every day to remain sober, this as the cacophony of radio and television ads and infomercials extol the virtues of the needle under the pretense of wellness.

With this as a backdrop, I have a power-lifting meet this July.

In order to exceed my previous records, I not only have to train brutally hard, but even more importantly, brutally smart given my mortal attributes.

At this writing, I’m still on the wagon. But it takes ever fiber of willpower not to indulge just once in the fountain if youth.

Fortunately, the USAPL drug tests, so there’s that.

But I know that time alone will tell whether or not I take the plunge because I certainly can’t guarantee it at this writing.

Stay tuned.

According to New Reports, Middle Age Lasts Until 74

slide_312094_2781445_free

Pierce Brosnan, 61

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11539573/Middle-age-now-lasts-until-74-as-baby-boomers-refuse-to-grow-old.html

“For many people, 70 is the new 50 and signifies the quiet revolution that has taken place in longevity”

…………….

Among the many trending narratives of the day is the one about Baby Boomers who refuse to age, as if that’s a bad thing.

Would you want to age “gracefully” if you didn’t have to?

Before you answer this question, allow me to put forth my definition of “graceful aging:”

“The process by which a middle-aged male agrees to accept natural physical attrition in exchange for a gated community in Florida.”

In my view [and I’m not alone] this is akin to suicide in slow motion, otherwise known among my circle as the dragging out of the end to eternity until you can’t remember where it all started.

So no.

I don’t know anyone willing to “let go” unless they’re in a psych ward for clinical depression or dying of colon cancer.

An average man who retired in 2012 can expect to live until the age of 86.2 years, while a woman who turned 65 last year would have 23.9 years still to live on average, the ONS estimates.

That’s a lot of time to “drift.”

In my socioeconomic demographic. men are often in the best shape of their adult lives, working out regularly, eating right, getting medical check-ups on an annual basis, and making damn sure their teeth look better than they did when they were in their 20’s, among other things. Believe me, I could go on.

I might also add to this [because it wouldn’t make sense if I didn’t], that most of the men to whom I’m referring are well-educated, urban folk of an upper income variety.

They tend to be ambitious, successful men who carry these traits with them throughout their lives, which are then shaped and molded by the pressures of big city life.

These are not frumpy men in cardigans and distended bellies.

They’re a lot like men half their age, only richer, wiser…and, in some cases, more mature.

They take their health seriously because they would rather go out in a blaze of glory than to fade into irrelevance and obscurity.

Examples in popular culture alone are legion.

Such men don’t lay down for the next generation not only because they’re not finished with their own, but because the generation behind them represents the lion’s share of the women they date and marry.

If this trend continues, and I see no reason it won’t, the next generation will consider a man of 50 “young” and his wife of 25 age-relevant.

 

Older Man “Lost”

MidLife

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/mens-health/11425655/Why-do-so-many-middle-aged-men-feel-so-lost.html

“We are caught between the old model of being the breadwinner and the new model of being the co-washer-upper and feeder…”

The article describes “middle-aged” men to be in the 45-54 range, but based on my own personal experience, I would raise the upper end to 62.

The angst to which the article refers began for me in my mid to late 40’s when I first came to the realization that I was no longer a young man of endless promise, but rather, a fully assembled commodity.

Has my professional life been well spent? Should I have taken another path? If so, why didn’t I? Does my current line of work have more juice in the tank, or am I running on fumes? Who am I? 

We start adding up our attributes, our accomplishments – whatever we think belongs in the plus column – then subtract our perceived liabilities, and come up with a number we hope we can live with. 

If not, we tend to do one of three things:

1] Taunt the hand of fate with alcohol and crack.

2] Buy things we can’t afford.

3] Pretend to be someone we’re not. 

I don’t believe any of these require further explanation, particularly the last one.

The unfortunate truth about contemporary life is that the timeline to produce wealth is relatively short.

In that time we are expected to amass a nest-egg capable of producing income without our having to punch a time clock or cash a paycheck.

That’s a lot of pressure.

So let’s say you’re 50 and just lost your 300k/year job. Now what?

If you don’t have income-producing savings, you go through what savings you do have in a heartbeat.

Then your wife leaves you. Your “friends” disappear. You’re alone. Really alone. Too alone without the coping skills necessary to move past the obstacles.

You’re officially in crisis.

It’s too late to change things. You’re merely surplus in a hungry world. You perform no function and, are thus, forced from the herd.

Making matters worse, men are not particularly flexible, and don’t bond well with other men, which makes for a far more difficult passage through this period in life.

The article suggests that men reject the old masculine code that “men don’t need relationships, men don’t need to be connected, men don’t need to be heartfelt,” and I wholeheartedly agree.

Without the ability to bond through the rough times, middle-aged men are damned to a life of painful reflection.

it is only through emotional connectedness that we can begin to discover meaning, hope and resurrection from the outdated models that set the bar for men so high – and room for deviation so narrow – that most simply can not handle the journey.

In my life I have known quite a few men who took their own lives after a divorce or the loss of substantial capital. There was nothing left to turn to. They had done it all and lost it all in a flash.

This is how older men tend to see themselves: Reflections of their accomplishments.

When the fruits of their accomplishments are gone, they go with them.

Unfortunately, friends and loved ones don’t fall in the “accomplishments” category as many men subconsciously assume that the people in their lives value them solely in dollar bills.