Personal Trainers: Secret Weapon of Older Men

personaltrainer

Many older men have resigned themselves to the notion that their best years are behind them, and that what’s left is a long, drawn out epitaph, otherwise known [around here] as death in slow motion.

This is a mindset, not biology.

With motivation and the proper training, many achieve feats of athleticism they couldn’t come close to in their 20’s.

So what stops them?

Many battle clinical depression.

For others, it’s a chronic injury.

But for the most part, it’s just plain laziness.

The refrain is common:

“Why should I work out? I’m an older man for god’s sake! Who cares?”  

I guess the person who should care died a long time ago, which is why people tend to look right through them, reinforcing their sense of irrelevance.

For those who do go to the gym, they often do so to just to avoid injury, or to “stay alive,” as they put it.

Needless to say, this attitude never won a Superbowl or anything else for that matter.

Challenging the forces of nature is not a slam-dunk, but it’s well worth the view if you have the will to climb the mountain.

…………….

There are 3 primary reasons why middle-aged men should hire a personal trainer, in this order:

1] Mental Health

Hypochondria is a pandemic amongst mid-lifers.

Everything is a potential apocalypse: The annual prostate exam, an impending stroke, a heart attack, colon cancer, or the ever-popular brain tumor paranoia. It never ends.

“That shoe will damn well drop, so if not now, when?”

No wonder Xanax sales are through the roof.

But here’s something I’ve learned: The 3 hours a week I spend with my personal trainer are enough to obliterate depressive episodes, anxiety and transient existential pain.

2] Physical Health

One of the biggest fears expressed by middle-aged men is failing health.

I’m not referring to a terminal illness, but literally, physical strength.

Without it, men begin to feel vulnerable and defeated.

“No longer can I protect those close to me,” is the way it comes across, but rapidly escalates into “I am no longer physically respected and relevant.”

From here it’s down the rabbit hole.

3] Medical Bills

“OMG everthing is falling the hell apart. My back hurts, my shoulder hurts, I have stomach pain, headaches, arthritis, I can’t lift a toothbrush…”

Sound familiar?

Poor health costs a hell of a lot more than your self-esteem.

In many cases it can rival your home mortgage. A typical hospital stay is somewhere in the 6k/day range, if this helps.

For less than that amount over 365 days, you could hire a personal trainer and tell the hospitals to kiss your ass.

Preventive medicine is the future. Without it, there is no future.

If after all you do you still land the the emergency room, it’s probably genetic.

……………..

Postscript

I like being physically strong. There’s something about lifting a lot of weight that’s emotionally transformative.

And while professional achievement is always a great picker-upper, having both is 10 times the high.

No longer are you a fading older man, but rather a successful older man who can stand should-to-shoulder with men half your age, dignity in tact.

With this as a backdrop, if I had to hazard a guess, I’d say that personal trainers are probably responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars in lost therapy revenues.

There’s only so much you can do on the couch before you have to get your ass up and get back to living.

Nobody “looks right through” a man’s who super fit no matter what his age happens to be.

There is a God

pizza2

I think I speak for most health-conscious types that eating can be a pain in the ass.

Everything has to be clean, unadulterated fuel. The enjoyment for me was in how “light” I felt after a meal, rather than how much I enjoyed eating it.

Needless to say, simple carbohydrates like bread were NOT on my menu.

So a few weeks of this new “paleo” diet of mine passed and I started noticing that my lifts in the gym were suffering, that I was more irritable than usual, and I was also lethargic and depressed.

By the way, I have zero to be depressed about, which is a pretty good indicator that something was amiss.

My blood work is good, my body uninjured. So what was it?

So I kind of drifted into the gym in a haze yesterday at 2:15 PM, slightly off balance and weak, and my trainer took one look at me and asked what I’d had to eat before coming in.

My answer shocked even me, which happens when you don;t check in with yourself from time to time: I told him that I had “a whey protein shake and two bananas.” Period.

Are you kidding me?

I’m 6’2, 230 and I had almost zero calories in my body.

How does this happen? Easily.

You get wrapped up in healthy everything until you start losing touch with life’s simple pleasures.

After an abbreviated workout, he sent me packing directly to Whole Foods where I was told to purchase a “loaded” pizza, and rediscover life.

I think it’s safe to say after taking one bite, I remembered all that I have missed about food and life in general.

Moral of the story: Give yourself a break and you’ll never need anti-depressants.