From personal experience, I can tell you this list is essential to a productive, long term professional relationship.
A relatively new website, http://www.agingevolution.com, extols the virtues of good old fashion clean living and hard work in order to achieve what, for all intents and purposes, is eternal youth.
The site’s tag line is — “It’s Never TOO LATE To Be Great”
Okay. So now you know the hook. So here’s the line and sinker part…
If hard work and clean living are all you have going for you, you’re not getting close to the guy in the above image.
The other part of the equation is never mentioned.
The most important part.
As a 61-year-old man with a lifetime of physical fitness under my belt, I know what it takes to be in top shape.
But I still don’t look like the guy in the above photograph.
Because 61 is not 21 no matter how hard you train.
There is an important distinction to be made between what is naturally achievable at 61, and what is required to achieve what was only possible 40 years ago.
Suffice to say, you can’t pound it out in the gym, prepare it in kitchen, or buy it at GNC or Walgreens.
It comes from a physician at considerable price, both financially and physically.
And people wonder why body dysmorphia’s as common as the flu.
Yes, it’s tempting to fall for all the ads, radio shows and endless infomercials about the merits and virtues of “hormone replacement.”
But just know that this term is a more soft-peddled way of saying “steroid use.”
The following 10 steroids are the most commonly used [and prescribed] since their introduction into the world of anabolic steroids and performance enhancing drugs:
Also known as Clen and Clenbuterol is an anti-catabolic anabolic product that helps users reduce the extra kilos under the belt. This selective beta-agonist 2 symphatonimetric is available in the form of syrups, tablets and injections and has an active life of about 35-40 hours. He is admired by sportsmen, particularly bodybuilders and strength athletes, especially for its benefits when it comes to achieving a lean body appearance without losing muscle mass or muscle size. The use of clenbuterol does not produce side effects such as gynecomastia or water retention, which are common problems with most steroids. The recommended dose is 140 mcg of Clen (micrograms) per day for men and 120 mcg per day for women (doses can be taken with or without meals) unless otherwise recommended by a qualified doctor. Clenbuterol is usually associated with other anabolics such as Dianabol, Deca-Durabolin, Dianabol, Winstrol and during a steroid cycle for optimizing benefits of all atthe same time.
Also known as Oxandrolone Anavar is one of the most used and recommended anabolic steroids. This anabolic drug is second to none when it comes to facilitating speedy recovery after surgery or in case of recurring infection and is equally effective for promoting strength gains without weight gain. It is available in oral and injectable forms, Anavar is a step ahead of other anabolics in the sense that it does not aromatize into dihydrotestosterone (DHT) and has no effect on the liver. As regards Anavar cycles,the recommended dose is 20-40 mg per day for men and 10-20 mg daily for women; the doses can be taken with or without meals. It is generally associated with anabolic steroids as Dianabol, Winstrol, Primobolan, and Sustanon 250 during a steroid cycle.
When it comes to staying ahead of the competition without feeling any heat, Oral Winstrol or Injectable Winstrol or Winny inevitably makes the list of top 10 steroids. This is because this drug produces exemplary performance and is very effective when it comes to promoting improvements in terms of mass and strength. The fact that taking Winstrol does not expose users to steroid side effects that are common with most anabolics assures users they can be confident of making tremendous gains. This derivative of testosterone, the male sex hormone, effectively stimulates the production of stromelysin, prostaglandin E2, and matrix metalloproteinases collegenase to promote a solid muscle building process. The recommended dose of this anabolic, available in oral and injectable form, is 15-25 mg (milligram) per day, which can be taken with or without meals. Winstrol is generally supplemented with other anabolics such as Deca-Durabolin, Primobolan, Testosterone Propionate, Dianabol, Trenbolone, and Clenbuterol during a steroid cycle.
Also known as Methandrostenolone or d-bol, it is one of those potent anabolic steroids that can bring dramatic results in a short period of time. This powerful androgenic anabolic product promotes the protein synthesis process that helps in the development of muscle mass and muscle size. It is also effective in maintaining glycogen during a bulking cycle when it comes to developing solid muscle mass. Dianabol can have adverse effects on the liver (protection: Samarin, Legalon …). There can be a water retention rate of up to 30% with Dianabol Pink and Blue, as opposed to only 10% for the Yellow Dianabol. The recommended dose of Dianabol is 20 80-mg daily , which can be taken with or without meals. This anabolic is generally supplemented with anabolics like Anavar, Deca Durabolin, Winstrol, and Clenbuterol during a steroid cycle.
Also known as Deca or nandrolone decanoate, it is an anabolic steroid that can find its place on any list of top 10 steroids. This anabolic product offers powerful anabolic effects and minimal androgen side effects, so users can easily enjoy its benefits without being exposed to side effects commonly associated with steroids. Having no adverse effects on the liver, Deca is very effective in treating blood disorders and developing muscle cells. The recommended dose of Deca Durabolin is 200-400 mg per week for men and 100-200 mg weekly for women. Deca Durabolin can be taken with or without meals. This anabolic is often associated with other anabolics such as Dianabol, Anavar, Clenbuterol, and Winstrol.
Primobolan, or Primo, is one of those potent anabolic steroids that have helped thousands of professional sportsmen and celebrities to realize their dreams. Having no effect on the liver, this anabolic product helps users redefine performance improvements on a continuous basis. It has the ability to stimulate the body to produce more active testosterone. In addition, it is also effective in reducing the levels of androgenic DHT and female estrogen. The recommended dose of this medication from our list of best steroids is 10, 2-3 mg per kilogram per week. The doses can be taken with or without meals. This drug is not recommended for girls and women unless otherwise recommended by a physician. Primobolan is usually stacked with Dianabol, Clenbuterol, and Anadrol during a steroid cycle.
Also known as Oxymetholone, Anadrol finds an important place in this list of top 10 best steroids. This is simply because this steroid is one of the most effective of all oral steroids when it comes to improving muscle size and helping athletes facing injuries. Not only that, it is equally effective in improving the number of red blood cells and helps the body to absorb more oxygen. This drug is medically recommended for persons suffering from congenital anemia (aplastic anemia, acquired aplastic anemia or hypoplastic anemia). The recommended daily dose of this medication is 1-5 mg per kilogram of body weight. It is often stacked with Deca-Durabolin and Primobolan during a steroid cycle.
When it comes to improveing performance, the best anabolic steroid may be Sustanon 250. This performance-enhancing drug is a combination of four types of testosterone: testosterone propionate (30 mg), testosterone phenylpropionate (60 mg) isocaproate testosterone (60 mg), and testosterone decanoate (100 mg). It is very effective when it comes to ensuring improvements in endurance, muscle mass, strength, and of course performance. A unique property of Sustanon is its ability to provide a solid basis for unparalleled quality muscle mass. The recommended dose of Sustanon is 250-750 mg per week for men and can be taken with or without meals. This drug is not recommended for women. It is generally stacked with other anabolics such as Dianabol, Anadrol, and Winstrol.
Success is not far from you when testosterone cypionate is nearby. This derivative of testosterone is hailed as an exemplary anabolic steroid that facilitates peak performance on a regular basis. This anabolic is also useful for ensuring improvements in terms of physical strength, muscle mass, and endurance. The recommended dose of testosterone cypionate is 200-800mg weekly; the doses can be taken with or without meals. It is generally associated with anabolic products such as Dianabol, Primobolan, and Clenbuterol during a steroid cycle.
This derivative of Testosterone is considered by many as the most effective of all testosterone compounds. When used for a period of 8-10 weeks at doses of 500-1000 mg per week, testosterone enanthate offers unmatched advantages in terms of strength gains and also in terms of gains in muscle mass. The derivative of testosterone (testosterone enanthate) is generally added with anabolics like Anavar, Clenbuterol, Dianabol, Deca Durabolin, and Primobolan.
So there you have it.
I have seen each and every one of these drugs used at my gym, and it is NOT a hardcore bodybuilding gym by a long shot.
It’s a luxury family fitness center filled to the rafters with affluent older men and women who want whatever money can buy back from father time.
Now you know why my area of town is rife with ex-Internists turned testosterone pushers.
What I’m about to tell you cuts a deep swath between what you were and what many of you are becoming.
Most men don’t have the balls to say [out loud] any of what I’m about to tell you, but saying it is the only way to help catalyze change in what’s often a foot-dragging passage into twilight.
Over these past decades I’ve learned a few things about being a man that weigh on all of us after enough water’s under the bridge.
The first is the personal assessment quiz, where we sum up all of our perceived accomplishments and hope that our backstories are sellable on the open market.
I say ‘open market’ because unless you live in a vacuum, you have an audience that determines your viability. I know. This sounds like every psychiatrist’s worst nightmare, but it’s still true.
We live in a society filled with people, not open land filled with livestock.
Remember, this is a blog about urban life, not rural isolationism.
In this world, our world, we need to matter. Some call it relevance. And while many claim this to be an exercise in pure nihilism and self-destruction, it’s critical to our emotional well being that we see our lives as having been well spent.
The resulting self-esteem becomes our fuel, our motivation to go on long after the glory years of imagined immortality and endless promise have passed.
But let me reiterate that we must pass muster with the world around us before we get the fuel. We can’t just fantasize it into being.
The world around us is a cold, objective force. It sees us as fully formed entities, each with a script in our hands that we read to ourselves before closing our eyes at night, hoping our dreams don’t contradict the plot lines.
Appreciating the gravity of this is an essential part of maintaining dignity no matter how much you try to ignore or deny it.
Okay, so let’s say we’re happy with what we’ve done with our lives up to this juncture. We have financial security and we’re proud of what we’ve done.
Now we have to figure out how to maintain what we’ve built so it doesn’t all come crashing down on top of us.
I’m talking about our physical health, and more specifically, our physical being; how we see ourselves relative to those around us, no matter what their age.
Like everything else in my life, I need to feel in possession of myself physically, to be physically strong, in control, and able to defend myself.
I’m sure that more than a few of you reading this will wonder why men our age [Baby Boomers] should give a crap about what sounds like an older man’s delusions of grandeur, but I don’t know any of you.
The men I do know care. A lot. They don’t want to be walked all over like party confetti. They live with purpose and dignity.
And while a few engage in endurance sports, especially anorexics, who swap one addiction for another, the answer lies in the weight room. Yes, being a man means lifting heavy weight. I know I know. I’m a superficial jackass who has no idea what brings true fulfillment to anyone but myself, but you’re still dead wrong.
Many of the men I’m around are luminaries in their respective fields, ranging in age from late 40’s to early 80’s. But one thing they share is a desire to build and/or maintain physical strength. In other words, no matter what they’ve done, if they’re wasting away it’s irrelevant. Soon, self esteem will erode away all that they’ve built, and they’ll end up dead long before you read about them in the obituaries.
This brings to mind a guy in my gym in his early 80’s who is not only a celebrated surgeon, but a world champion masters power lifter.
You think he feels irrelevant?
The respect he receives from people around him is palpable.
My motto: Be strong, live well.
Our personal lives are the final cog in our wheels of fortune. While I cannot pretend to speak for gay men and their relationships, I do know a thing or two about living with women, which is kind of like living with an extraterrestrial biological life form, identical human DNA, notwithstanding.
Like #1 and #2, how we feel in the context of our relationships is inextricably tied to how we feel as men.
The first thing we men know about ourselves is that our egos are fragile, particularly when we feel vulnerable. Thus, we need our masculinity validated daily. We need to feel loved; we need to feel attractive; and we need to feel capable.
That’s a lot of need, but miss an ounce of it at your peril.
Memorize this list so you don’t lose it:
A] Admire Us.
Compliment us on the things we’re good at and our physical qualities. Beat on us and we’ll stop making the house payments.
B] Brag on Us
The first time I heard a woman complaining about her husband’s “many” shortfalls, I suggested he leave her. In my mind, she breached the trust and left him out to dry.
C] Ask For Our Help
Ask us to show you how to do something or to give you advice on a tough situation. We’ll be more than happy to show you, believe me.
D] Never, Ever Cut Us Down No Matter What.
Make you man feel like an idiot and he will show you the door. Men have massive egos. Why this is I don’t know, but suspect it has something to do with having to kill things so the rest of his primordial family didn’t starve to death.
Never, ever discredit us or make snide comments about our appearance, abilities or performances, particularly around others.
E] Learn How to Listen.
Men may not be as talkative as women are, but we still have things to say and emotions to vent or bad days we want to discuss. While we’re more about fixing things than just talking for the sake of being heard, sometimes we like being heard so we can justify fixing things.
F] Respect Us.
Respect builds the foundation of our relationships. Without it, we will look for it elsewhere, believe me. Incessant nagging comes to mind. It’s like rat poison for human relationships.
G] Believe In Us
We want the women in our lives to be our biggest cheerleaders. We’ll do anything for someone who believes in us. Even if what we try to do doesn’t succeed by someone else’s standards, the fact that we gave it our best shot deserves praise and love.
H] Do Little Things For Us
Whether you leave a love note somewhere we’ll find it, stuff an Oreo under our pillow…or just wear something that we can’t seem to live without, JUST DO IT!
As men get older it’s even more important to affirm us. First, because we are no longer 25. Second, because no matter what we act like, we’re no longer in college and running track for NYU.
Of course, back then we were flat broke, our trust factor was zero, and and our apartments resembled the wolf dens you see at natural science museums across the country.
As women who’ve spent your fair share of time with men, you already know all these things.
This is just a reminder.
DISCLAIMER: I am neither nutritionist nor food guru. The comments below are based upon my own personal experiences and are not meant to replace a visit to your internist or psychiatrist.
We all know by now that Hollywood celebrities hold the key to preternatural youth.
Okay. That was complete bullshit.
Let me rephrase it: We all know by now that Adobe’s Photoshop program is largely responsible for what appears to be preternatural youth in celebrities.
Just meet one of them in person and watch the media’s version of reality crumble.
See #urbandystrophy, the book, on Media vs Reality.
Okay, so any of you interested in avoiding the “wellness clinic” trap of endless pharmaceuticals, here are a few alternatives that might save your actual life.
1] Eat fat!
I know you anorexics equate fat with devil worship, but bear with me.
Dietary fat is actually one of the most critical players when it comes to optimizing natural testosterone production. Long gone are the days when we associate fat with heart disease and elevated cholesterol levels. Now it’s now recognized as a sure way to increase testosterone levels.
In fact, a study published in the “Journal of Applied Physiology” found that diets with higher amounts of monounsaturated and saturated fats have been shown to increase testosterone levels.
In another study, men who switched from a high-fat diet (13 percent saturated fat) to a low-fat diet (5 percent saturated fat) experienced significantly lower testosterone production rates, and lower circulating androgen levels.
“Keep in mind that when it comes to dietary fat, it’s not just the amount of fat you eat, but also the type of fat,” says Don Gauvreau, MSc, co-founder PharmaFreak .
2] Don’t avoid cholesterol!
Testosterone is derived from cholesterol, so if your diet is lacking in cholesterol, you’re also shortchanging yourself when it comes to the muscle-building hormone.
For example, incorporating whole eggs into a moderately carbohydrate-restricted diet was shown to improve the lipoprotein profile (increased HDL cholesterol) and reduce insulin resistance in individuals with metabolic syndrome, a constellation of health issues that includes hypertension, abnormally high blood glucose, and other risk factors for heart disease.
The best choices are red meat, egg yolks, and seafood such as shrimp, squid, and lobster.
Whole eggs are a staple in my diet. I usually have one or two with another 4 eggwhites each morning.
Oh, and it tastes better as you already know but continue to deny for the sake of your health.
3] Consume testosterone-boosting ingredients
First, get a blood test.
When the results are in, your Internist will tell you whether or not your testosterone levels are low.
If so, he or she may prescribe testosterone.
As for “actual testosterone-boosting ingredients,” there aren’t any.
Having said this, “natural” bodybuilders and fitness enthusiasts the world over will talk you blue in the face about Testofen [Fenugreek Extract], Zinc, D-Aspartic Acid [DAA], Vitamin D, and Diindolylmethane [DIM], among others.
Again, first the blood test, second the discussion with said Internist.
4] High-intensity interval training [HIIT]
Excessive aerobic endurance activities like marathon running, hours in the pool and 6 hours a day of biking will decrease testosterone levels, increase cortisol production, weaken the immune system, and handicap strength gains. No wonder these three are the anorexic’s drugs of choice.
With this in mind, I suggest you consider HIIT, a training concept in which low to moderate intensity intervals are alternated with high intensity intervals.
In research, HIIT has been shown to burn adipose tissue far more effectively than low-intensity exercise – up to 50% more efficiently, and has also been shown to speed up your metabolism which helps burn more calories throughout the day.
It also boosts testosterone and HGH levels in your body, according to study after study.
If you’re still confused, ask a qualified personal trainer to explain it.
5] Limit your training session to an hour
If you’re regularly engaging in lengthy, drawn-out workouts with long rest periods or excessive endurance exercise, your testosterone levels will take a hit!
More specifically, workouts lasting longer than about an hour begin to spike cortisol levels and subsequently decrease testosterone.
Additionally, research has demonstrated that a shorter rest period between sets (one minute versus three minutes) elicited higher acute hormonal responses following a bout of resistance training.
In order for you to maximize your testosterone response, keep your rest periods short and total workout time to 60 minutes or fewer.
6] If you don’t get enough rest, you’re screwed
Especially for you older guys, a lack of quality sleep will dramatically diminish the amount of testosterone your body produces, thereby reducing muscle growth and fat loss!
Research continue to demonstrate that the amount of sleep you get is associated with morning testosterone levels.
Researchers at the University of Chicago recorded the sleeping patterns of healthy men and found that participants’ testosterone levels increased the longer they slept.
I need at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with 9 being optimal. Anything less and I’m useless.
7] Keep stress to a minimum
The connection between stress and increased cortisol production are well documented.
But stress is also quite deadly. It’s side-effects are legion: Heart disease, digestive problems, sleep disorder, depression, weight problems, auto immune problems, skin conditions, like eczema…and on and on and on…
8] Eat healthy
All food groups, always, but avoid simple sugar.
It can damage your heart, promote belly fat, may be linked to cancer production – and cancer survival, has toxic effects on the liver, saps your brain power, and shortens your life.
So, like I said, avoid it like the plague.
9] Keep your daily drinking down to one or two glasses of wine
Requires no elaboration.
Of course, if your have the genetics of Keith Richards, it may in fact improve the quality and duration of your life.
10] Find a good lover
Just like any physical activity, sex is good for your heart.
Several studies have found that your risk of dying from a heart disease event, such as stroke or heart attack, goes down as the frequency of good orgasms increase.
Some of you will wonder what a bad orgasm is, but once you’ve had a good one you’ll appreciate the distinction.
I might also add, sex offers the same soothing effects of sugary comfort foods when it comes to reducing stress without killing you in the process.
Then there’s the better sleep, lower stress hormones, better moods, better complexion…even cancer prevention.
As for its testosterone boosting properties, both testosterone and estrogen levels experience a boost through regular sexual activity.
I dunno. It kinda’ sells itself…
And now for something completely different, here’s a Facebook link to “Fit Guys Over 50,” featuring ridiculously shredded men who are obvious testosterone users. Though they may be disciplined in their workouts, eating and recovery, they re just as disciplined in their injections.
Time to get real.
You’re only hearing half the story.
Yea, I’m shocked too given the availability and use of the drug among affluent older men, particularly the ones who don’t need it, but still can’t live without it.
Nonetheless, Baby Boomers like myself have become targets of a nationwide advertising campaign to dope us into submission.
In a way, it’s like the old Wheaties ads, but more expensive.
Get up in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast, shoot up, get on with your day! It all sounds so innocent, almost healthy.
No wonder I am literally surrounded by men my age who “supplement,” as it’s commonly referred.
Most of them use synthetic testosterone in conjunction with Human Growth hormone [HGH], while others “stack” other variants to the mix in order to maximize performance and build lean mass.
This is considered normal by many, and counting.
The objective is to bring testosterone and HGH mainstream so that no one will think twice about grabbing prescriptions every time they buy toothpaste.
It must be working because I’d hard-pressed to point out more than a handful of a single older men who workout like I do who DON’T SUPPLEMENT.
They know the risks, they can read.
“Swollen and painful breasts, blood clots in the legs, increased risk for prostate cancer, problems breathing during sleep (sleep apnea), change in the size and shape of the testicles, and a low sperm count.”
But their physicians, the antagonists in this drama, downplay the side-effects in order to keep prescriptions filled.
“Oh, just come in for a blood test every three months to check your liver and PSA levels and you’ll be fine. Who doesn’t want more energy, a better sex drive, and more lean mass?”
So a year later THEY stroke out and the doctor attributes it to over-training.
All testosterone products contain a warning label about the potential for blood clots, but nobody pays any more attention to it than they do warning labels on Bayer aspirin.
So now your doctor is off the hook and your legal war is with the drug cartels and insurance giants who can buy and sell you thousands of times, bleeding you so white with attorney’s fees you throw your hands up and surrender.
The only people who can win this war are the ones keeping it going: Users.
Stop using and they go away.
Otherwise, expect the process of demand and supply to run on all cylinders.
According to an article published in Scientific American, nearly 3 percent of American men aged 40 and older are thought to have received testosterone scripts in 2011 — three times the percentage in 2001. (If confirmed, the 2011 ratio could mean that perhaps two million older men in the U.S. have been given prescriptions for testosterone.)
In 2014, the numbers are probably twice that.
Here’s the article:
As an older man who is literally inundated with chatter about “Low T,” I can attest to its allure.
More energy on less sleep, and a body from hell at age 60.
I dunno, it kinda sells itself.
One reader responded to this article with a familiar refrain:
“The problem is that the criteria doesn’t know what my testosterone levels should be for my age. The average testosterone levels are established for men between the ages of 18 and 80. I am not 18 nor 80 but one specific age. But the data show nothing about these numbers.”
As everyone in this game knows, the key to deciding whether or not to start a testosterone regimen comes down to the numbers.
In other words, what should my numbers be for someone my age?
This, my friends, is at the very crux of the controversy.
If the prescribing physician raises the baseline for what we’re told the Tes levels of a 60-year-old man should be, then we damn well need more testosterone.
This well written Atlantic Magazine article below covers this controversy in more detail:
I’m not a member of the testosterone club.
I have to sleep 8 hours a night, cycle my workouts for maximum recovery, spend no more than 1 hour a day at the gym [rather than 6], and eat pretty much perfectly – no trash foods ever.
This is the price I pay for being my age.
My testosterone levels are well within the normal range, not the range of a 19-year-old.
I have to make peace with that.
I can only do what my body allows at this age and under optimum lifestyle choices.
The rest is up to nature.
If I choose to visit one of the well-known physicians here in Houston who write millions in testosterone and HGH prescriptions every year, I am sure to walk out with a full bag of goodies to remedy my “flagging health.”
Note: I currently hold the Texas State record for the RAW deadlift, within my weight and age division, through he USAPL, which strictly forbids the use of steroids.
There are a few men who have what is referred to as hypogonadism where the body doesn’t produce enough testosterone.
The condition is rare, but it does occur, and in such case testosterone supplementation becomes necessary in order for a man to live a full, healthy life.
I also know bodybuilders who simply cannot achieve the mass necessary to win contests without dramatically increasing testosterone levels.
It’s just part of that sport, but also a source of unbelievable acrimony from users in denial about the risks.
If you don’t believe me, go on any bodybuilding site and mention health risks associated with testosterone supplementation and you’ll end up closing your account until the vitriol calms down.
In the end, no junkie in his right mind wants to be told that crack cocaine is bad for his health anymore than an exercise addict wants to hear about the downsides of anorexia.
Day after day after day older men are bombarded with images like these that tout the benefits of testosterone replacement.
I’m not going to go into all the conflicting research because I can’t delineate advertising from hard research. But as a man in the center of the marketing bulls-eye [i.e., right age and socioeconomic profile], I know all about the pressure to fold.
If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that between 80 and 90 percent of the men in my demographic [58-64] are on some form of testosterone supplementation.
This is not an exaggeration.
How else could they drop so much body fat while building and/or maintaining so much muscle mass and strength – without training even a tenth as hard as I do?
Let’s be honest. Most affluent older men don’t want to spend their entire lives in the gym, nor do they want the other hassles associated with aging, like not being able to maintain an erection for an hour, or having to rest and recovery like an old person.
They want to wake up fully refreshed, on 6 hours of sleep, with a raging hard-on and enough energy to power a small city.
For me, it’s more like 8 hours of sleep followed by 30 minutes of stretching just to pull myself out of bed because I’m so damn sore from the previous days’ workout, and then 6 cups of coffee all before acknowledging anyone or anything else around me.
Which would you choose?
That’s what I thought, and why the testosterone replacement industry has exceeded the 2 billion dollar mark…and rising fast.
Soon, all of us will be on “T” as the baselines rise to fit industry expansion strategies.
The mantra in my health club is that the AMA [American Medical Association] is living in the Dark Ages, and that people of means should see a urologist “in the know.”
Why waste such a great life on outdated research and thinking? is the way it’s usually phrased.
At this writing I see no way the blitzing will end – or the patient count drop.
I would also love to look and feel the way I did 20 years ago. But I am only human, and no matter how well I eat or how much time I spend in the gym, I’m still mortal.
I know this is simply unacceptable to many men of my generation as much as it is unacceptable for a 60-year-old man to drive a Buick over an Aston Martin. I get it. If you can afford the best, why not?
With testosterone injections you take the risks with the rewards because there’s only one NOW and “tomorrows” in an actuarial context are fewer than ever before.
In other words, while the Buick may save your life, the Aston Martin makes whatever is left of it worth the risk. It’s that simple.
Whether or not I will capitulate to the barrage of influence is still uncertain. I discuss this with my trainer every time we meet and it always ends in a kind of detente.
He says no and I say maybe.
It bears noting that older men with good lives are also at greater risk of clinical hypochondria.
Blood tests “every 5 minutes” is normal.
“My doctor wants my cholesterol levels below 120, so now I’m on a statin drug, which means I’m back in his office every few months for blood-work to determine whether or not my medications are screwing up my kidneys or my liver or whatever.”
Okay, so now he’s on testosterone replacement and a statin drug, and he’s just getting started on the hamster wheel.
How about chest pain?
Shortness of breath after a workout? How can that possibly be?
Not that the following item isn’t completely natural, but did you know hair loss could indicate an autoimmune disease like lupus?
“Heavens to Betsy get my ass back in that car! we’re headed back to the emergency room! I knew he missed something!”
“And ya know, now that I’m thinking about it, my penis was insubordinate this morning, so I’ll ask him about the possibility of my having multiple sclerosis.”
“And come to think of it I’m more fatigued than I was at 17. I must have diabetes or a malfunctioning thyroid gland. Crap! ”
“I might add that I was dizzy the other day, which goes back to heart disease, stroke, or even shock. And why the hell do I drink so much water??? They say it’s an indicator of failing organs. And god knows I have trouble remembering people’s names. Is it Alzheimer’s? And my damn vision is not what it used to be, so it must be macular degeneration!”
“I AM SO SCREWED!”
This part is true, but not for the reasons you think.
We’re all just waiting for the other show to drop, which is exactly why we’d all be far better off in therapy than the office of a urologist.
PRINT VERSION TO FOLLOW.
From Urban Dystrophy:
“You get back what others think you’re worth, not what you think you’re worth. And unless you can afford not to care, you better care. With practice, you’ll be able to determine your own relative value so you’re not disappointed by things you thought you deserved, but didn’t for reasons you may resent, but better get used to.”
“Most middle-aged men struggling to balance acquisition of wealth with fading relevance feel like characters in an apocalypse series with recurring story arcs.”
“I compete with popular culture every day, on every level, including in my love life where it’s particularly competitive.”
“I once knew a forty-two-year-old pharmaceutical rep that kept a list of mandatory line items prospective “boyfriends” had to meet. It sat on her iPad for easy reference. If I remember correctly, the last count was 22,328.”
“Eventually we all reach a point in life where we can no longer hit on young women without also being hit on by a bouncer.”
“In the old days, men had wives and mistresses. This was considered normal. It was understood that emotional intimacy in men was a sign of weakness, and therefore, if women wanted their men to remain strong and faithful to their marriages, mistresses were necessary.”
“At middle age, the situation becomes ten times worse. Although women are decades older than they were back in college, men still measure them against their 1980 yearbook picture, which is why most of the women they date were born about that time. This same pathology manifests in the perception that men and women age at different rates, even if they technically don’t.”
“Women say blessings are counted by the number of people who give you unconditional love. But, others contend that you still die alone, and that bouncing nickels off a flawless ass is worth the blind faith in miracles.”
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Most guys in my particular socioeconomic demographic are on some form of testosterone, usually cocktailed with Human Growth Hormone [HGH], and sometimes, anabolic steroids.
This is considered proper maintenance, and therefore, normal.
The testosterone debate is as heated as politics and religion. Everyone has an opinion.
But the biggest problem is that everyone is also a “research scientist” armed with a battery of affirming studies touting the benefits, while downplaying the side-effects.
In this sense, it’s like the global warming debate.
Did you know that Houston has had its coldest Winter in 30 years? In New England it’s more like 100 years.
Having said this, it has also been the warmest in general, which may or may not have to do with SUV’s and Dick Cheney.
There’s an angle for everything, which brings me back to my point: Testosterone has become a kind of lightning rod for people who want to take advantage of what science has to offer without having to necessarily prove it’s overall safety record.
This is why people carry around talking points to validate their addictions, the main one being baselines. If i keep raising the bar, suddenly everyone needs more testosterone. Get it? This is the hook.
This is why testosterone supplementation has become its own religion, practiced and promoted by pharmaceutical companies, physicians and the patients who carry the “word of god” into gyms across America.
I’ll be straight with you about something: If I were to inject 1 cc of testosterone per week, my body would begin to bleed fat and build more muscle with half the effort I currently put forth in my workouts. How long this would last I don’t know. How long I would last I don’t know. Is it worth the risks given the fact that my livelihood does not depend on winning bodybuilding competitions or the Super Bowl?
If I were a professional athlete, would it be worth the 5 million a year to stay competitive? Probably, which is why most use and then end up in wheelchairs, or worse.
The human body will only give us so much before it starts subtracting the gains.
Nonetheless, the men I’m referring to are NOT professional athletes. They may be athletic. They may want to look and feel better. But from what I have seen, the risks they are willing to take far outweigh the gains they expect.
This is irrelevant to most of them. They live for the moment. For now. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Postscript: In case you’re wondering what all the fuss is really about, take a look at these three steroid users and their preternatural physiques, courtesy of the drugs.