College Debt’s a Bitch. Now What?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4090330/Men-supposed-caregivers-Former-beauty-queen-lives-lavish-life-sugar-baby-describes-FEMINIST.html

As we all know, morality is relative.

The key to survival these days is the ability to compartmentalize.

Compartmentalization is an unconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance, or the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person’s having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etc. within themselves.

It’s easier for some than others.

Psychopaths are particularly good at it.

Anyway, in my world [my socioeconomic demographic] such women abound.

The same applies to men, by the way.

Many of these women are fresh out of college with nowhere to go because their degrees were in areas so general that no one could place them on any job application I’ve ever seen.

As for interests, they like to work out, travel, and basically, live life to its fullest.

I’m not familiar with this reality outside of science fiction, but when you back out the human element, it begins to make sense.

“I’m 25, beautiful, reasonably well educated and follow the Rich Kids of Instagram. I’m not all that into getting up and going to some dead end job, and making millions is a lot easier said than done. So what do I have to sell that someone might be interested in buying?

It’s not land because I don’t own any. My car’s shot. And I have a bunch of college debt.

But I have an ass from Hell, which is worth more than some luxury yachts in the minds of many.”

This is backing out the human element looks like, and for many, feels like.

But who cares when you’re dealing in commodities?

Life is fast. Live well, no matter what that looks like is the mantra.

These are not normal, well adjusted kids from wealthy suburban enclaves with law degrees from places like Yale and job offers at a top firms in D.C.

What are you thinking?

How Does Billy Bob Thornton, 61, Do It?

Baby Boomer, Billy Bob Thornton, was born in Hot Springs, Arkansas on August 4, 1955. He is an American actor, filmmaker, singer, songwriter, and musician.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3757208/Why-beauties-fall-Hollywood-s-unlikely-lothario-Billy-Bob-Thornton-charmed-Angelina-Jolie-Amber-Heard.html

In the above article you’ll read all about how Billy Bob managed to nail so many beautiful young women.

But as I have always said, women don’t see a whole lot with their eyes unless it involves themselves or other women.

This is because women for the most part are drawn to the darker mysteries of intellect, power, success and surrender – usually in that order.

I know. Shocker.

“Love is a Concept Invented by Poor People…” Seeking Arrangement Founder, Brandon Wade

“By encouraging people to find and negotiate an arrangement, we hope to create modern relationships based on open-mindedness, open communication, brutal honesty and transparent expectations.”

“This is the future of dating.” BW

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/25/opinion/seeking-arrangement-ceo-on-love/

Ashley reminds me of someone I once dated, also an entrepreneur.

~~~

Now understand something here: The woman posing with Mr. Wade in the above photo would have no problem waltzing right over his dead body if he weren’t filthy rich.

I don’t mean this in any negative way, but Mr. Wade had to make himself valuable in order to earn visibility, which everyone understands and appreciates.

This revelation set him ablaze with passion to acquire the one asset that would act as a carbon credit for whatever he lacked elsewhere.

Next thing you know, he goes meteoric and declares “love is a concept created by the poor!” before heading off to CNN for an interview.

By the way, a rough translation of his statement is If you don’t have money, no one will love you, which is why poor people created it in the first place.

Okay. Whatever. I get it. We get it. Pretty much all of us, really.

Baby Boomers like myself suffer physical attrition after enough water’s under the bridge.

Fortunately, though, many of us are able to leverage money and power against the cost of aging and manage to stay square with the gods.

Now you know why seekingarrangement.com claims 1.9 million subscribers…and climbing.

On a general note, there is absolutely nothing novel about prostitution.

Whether you couch it as “Hey, I just need a little help with college,” or “Hey, want a blowjob?” you’re still hooking.

Having said this, everything these days is relative.

Just how relative depends on the price tag.

The more you spend, the more normal everything seems.

On a related note, most of the women my peers end up with are passed from one older man to the next within their own immediate peer group.

This is because the women in question are known commodities who’ve been properly vetted, and therefore, predictable within reason.

The downside is that there is often a limited supply of such women within certain demographics, which usually triggers bidding wars resulting in some of the best television fodder on the planet.

What’s So Gross About Madonna?

In women, experience isn’t a carbon credit for lost time.

There’s very little to say about this that hasn’t already been said a thousand times, so I’ll just post the link from The Daily Beast, written by Samantha Allen.

You can also type “Madonna” into the search bar on this site for further commentary on the Queen of Pop or whatever.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/04/14/what-s-so-gross-about-madonna-getting-older-it-seems.html

If Madonna Were an Older Man: When Double-Standards Apply

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-toussaint/12-headlines-wed-read-if-madonna-were-an-older-man_b_6911464.html

Would she be held to the same standards? If not, why?

The article uses several celebrity examples of older men who seem to get away with certain behavior that Madonna would be skewered for.

The narrative here is that older women, in general, are held to completely different standards to that of older men.

Sometimes this is true, but not always, as I’ll explain.

First, an example of what you’ll read in the “bullet-pointed” article:

1: Harrison Ford, Private Plane Pilot. On March 5, the 72-year-old actor crashed his World War II-era plane. The story made headlines around the world, all honoring how well he managed to handle the accident and hoping for his speedy recovery.

Madonna’s Headline
No longer High, Flying or Adored, Madonna Crashes on the Runway and the Charts.

My Take: Madonna, in particular, set herself up for all of this.

Either she cannot see, or chooses to ignore, the reality that “25 and 55” are two different things.

While rock stars like Mick Jagger still rockin’ n’ rollin’, we’re all in on the fantasy.

Jagger has never pretended to deny – or in any way change public perception of – his age.

In the case of Madonna, it’s the other way around.

Her album covers are case studies in Photoshop overindulgence; her competitiveness with pop singers half her age the punch lines of every late night missive; and her incessant allusions to bedding young men is as cringe-worthy as biting a dry Popsicle stick.

With Madonna, it’s not about men and women being held to different standards, it’s about Madonna not coming to terms with reality as the rest of the world knows it.

The final 11 bullet points cite:

2] Paul Newman: Car Racing at 70.

Madonna’s Headline
Bitch on Wheels: Desperate Madonna Still Thinks She’s in the Race

My Take: Again, this is not about age as much as it is about Madonna. Nobody ever beats up on older female triathletes. They applaud.

3] Iggy Pop, Shirtless at 67.

Madonna’s Headline
Icky Pop: GrandMadonna’s Topless Photo Looks Like a Map of the Old Stars Homes

My Take: Iggy Pop looks like a friggin’ monster as he did 30 years ago. No one’s ever disputed that. The fact that he’s preternaturally shredded only makes him a greater curiosity, not sex symbol.

4] Tom Cruise, Fencing at age 52.

Madonna’s Headline
Right of Light Saber: Madonna Learns How to, Literally, Stab Her Friends in the Back

My Take: They’re probably right about this one.

5] Russell Crowe, Knitting at age 50.

Madonna’s Headline
Unapologetic Stitch: Will Madonna Knit Baby Booties for Her Next Boyfriend?

My Take: This one reaches for a story it never quite lands.

6: Brad Pitt, Motorcycle Riding at age 51.

Madonna’s Headline
Motorcycle Mama’s Message to Her Children: Biking Is Fine!

My Take: If Madonna wants to ride motorcycles, nobody cares as long as she isn’t riding it in a tu-tu.

7: Sean Penn, Surfing at age 54

Madonna’s Headline
Drowned World: Madonna Desperately Tries to Stay Afloat

My Take: Not to hammer a point to oblivion, but if Madonna wants to resurrect herself, an acoustic guitar and her voice on stage would be enough to fill arenas anywhere.

8: Johnny Depp, Owning and Island at age 51.

Madonna’s Headline
From British to Bahamian, Madonna’s Un-American Ambitions

My Take: See #5 Russell Crowe.

9: Sting, Tantric Sex at age 63.

Madonna’s Headline
Chanteuse on the Loose: Madonna’s Sexual Stretch Marks

My Take: It is true that Madonna would be the laughing stock of the world if she were to publicize something like this in light of her recent missteps.

10: George Clooney, Sports at age 53.

Madonna’s Headline
No Longer in a League of Her Own, Madonna Strikes Out on the Playing Field, Dribbles in Public, and Chases After Tight Ends

My Take: If Madonna competed successfully in a triathlon, she would set an example for women her age. Instead, she expects people to just imagine her doing it, along with everything else.

11: Denzel Washington, Boxing at age 60

Madonna’s Headline
Former Musical Heavyweight Madonna Now Hits Below the Belt

My Take: If Madonna wanted to box, no one would care one iota.

12: Kevin Costner, Horseback Riding at age 60.

Madonna’s Headline
Madonna owns… wait, she fell off her horse in 2005, leaving her with a broken hand, busted collarbone and three cracked ribs. One very popular New York Newspaper wrote it…”Madonna Falls Off Her High Horse.”

My Take: I remember this story well, and again, Madonna is her own worst enemy.

When Keith Richards fell out of a coconut tree or four-wheeler or whatever the hell happened to him in Hawaii, he got flowers and high-fives, not a tsunami of negative press because he’s cool being who the hell he is!

Bottom line:

The article is not about gender stereotypes.

It’s about Madonna…as usual.

While Men Fight Their Way Up the Corporate Ladder, Many Women in Houston Fight Their Way Up the Social Ladder [usually fist-to-cuff]

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 14: Comes With Baggage Founder Lori Levine shows off her one-of-a-kind orange HermËs Birkin at the Comes With Baggage Fashion Editor Preview on May 14, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for Comes With Baggage)

HermËs Birkin bag

http://nypost.com/2015/05/24/inside-the-bizarre-life-of-an-upper-east-side-housewife/

Wednesday Martin, author of Primates of Park Avenue, she found herself, she says, “going native.” She wanted to belong among the Upper East Side mommies who hired stylists and makeup artists for school drop-off and pickup, who got preventive Botox every three months, who perfected the flawless facade.

~ ~ ~

In many ways, this is the female version of my new book, Urban Dystrophy, now available on #Amazon.

Again, money is the buy-in, followed by a tightly-scripted narrative to which all aspirants must adhere – to the letter.

Think of it as high school all over again, but without the food fights.

Men know all about this.

In exchange for a residence at “900 Park Avenue,” women stand at the Devil’s Crossroads and relinquish their souls for a table at the right restaurant where people eat each other.

The ones who survive have the most checks on the list of must-haves.

Age comes to mind.

To wit, the author refuses to reveal her age.

All we know is “I’m in my 40’s.”

The reason for this is academic:

Not only are women expected to perform well under the scrutiny of white hot halogen, but because youth and beauty are expected to be indelible commodities, the farther away one drifts, the more perilous the journey.

No wonder Botox runs like rivers on the Upper East Side.

Mothers then pass these values on to their children, who attend the right schools, go on the right play dates, have the right tutors, and generally, explore all that “intensive mothering” can – and damn well better – provide.

People say celebrities are so different from everyone else, but when it gets down to it, money is what splits the herd.

Billy Joel [65], and Alexis Roderick [29] Expecting.

https://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/billy-joels-girlfriend-alexis-roderick-pregnant-couple-expecting-193000632-us-weekly.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

Congratulations to Billy and Alexis!

See folks, life is not an actuarial table. It’s a journey with no particular timeline.

In the end, love is wherever you find it…no matter what the accountants say.

Denial’s a Bitch

Where she started…

What’s left…

After belting out her classic song of female empowerment “Express Yourself,” at Coachella, the 56-year-old pop legend, Madonna, pulled the 28-year-old singer, Drake, back in his chair to plant a heavy kiss on his lips.

Then all hell broke loose.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3036560/Madonna-56-makes-Drake-28-onstage-Coachella-doesn-t-notice-look-horror-walks-off.html

~~~

Naivete in grownups is often charming; but when coupled with vanity it is indistinguishable from stupidity. Eric Hoffer

~~~

Madonna is closing in on 60 years old and a shadow of her former self, which I know is shocking to those of you who think she resembles the woman on the cover of her new CD.

If she were a writer or folk singer or politician or television actor or newscaster or cashier at WalMart she could go on and on and on. But sex symbol? Please.

And that gold dental grill!!! Seriously??? What drugs drive people this far off the ranch???

I guess it has everything to do with being at the top of the pop music world for decades only to feel pressured to pass the baton to the next generation.

If it were me, I’d do the same damn thing as long as I had no idea how ridiculous it made me look.

I’m sure no one let’s her in on this dirty little secret, though.

Why would they? Their careers rest on her perpetuity no matter how desperate she looks in the process.

But what propelled her to stardom is still part of who she is today. In this sense, she is stuck in the past, always looking for the next opportunity to resurrect herself, this time around with an undercurrent of indignant rage.

The bottom line is that she is no longer “herself” on the outside, which means that she has to redefine who she is on the inside.

At this writing, this does not appear to be happening.

Nonetheless, what she’s going through is not unique to women.

Men become the punchlines of jokes when they live the way they did 30 ago, refusing to acknowledge that 30 years have passed.

We all age. It sucks. It’s nature’s cruel joke. Call it what you will. But it’s a reality we all face no matter who we are.

Some fare better than others, mostly because they’re not Madonna.

They don’t have to fill stadiums, pander to fans, focus on trying to bend and shape perception of aging until people no longer see it.

In this sense Madonna as “Madonna” is her own worst nightmare.

If she wants to salvage her dignity and assure a resurrection of sorts, she should take her own advice and perform alone on a simple stage with an acoustic guitar.

No dancers, backup singers, pyrotechnics and god’s knows what the hell else.

Now that would be a concert worth seeing.

POSTSCRIPT

Who attends Madonna concerts?

1] Older women who relate to her midlife delusions.

2] Gay men who imagine Madonna loves them more than she loves herself.

3] No one else that I’m aware of.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/11/madonna-gay-fans-_n_6846882.html

UPDATE

http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/drake-weighs-in-on-his-reaction-to-that-madonna-kiss-at-coachella/ar-AAaYOUt

Now Drake has said that, in so many words, he was delighted to have had the opportunity to be kissed by the queen, Madonna.

Yea right, dude.

Best to cover your ass.

The “Ideal Female Physique” to Certain Men of a Certain Age

Not that I need to remind any of you in my demographic, but for “outsiders” interested in what older men find physically ideal in women, you can use the link below to run the numbers for yourselves.

Most women I’m around can recite them in their sleep.

http://www.stepfordwives.org/diary/tag/stepford-wives-body-size/

Needless to say, what you want is not necessarily what you get.

………………..

I was in the gym yesterday when one of the guys I train with commented on how many of the women around us had identical physiques.

I guess my narrative is beginning to rub off on some of these guys.

“OF COURSE THEY ALL LOOK [AND ACT] ALIKE! SO DO BLACK OPS! IT’S HOW THEY WIN WARS!”

………………

Speaking in generalities is always a dicey proposition, but generalizations do have their place, or no one would have the vaguest idea what I was talking about.

To wit, women of a certain demographic – or those aspiring to become members of it – know that a specific appearance is the key to “moving up.”

It’s not that other attributes are ignored. It’s that one opens the door while the other closes it behind them.

Let’s take my health club, for example.

All of the “well married” – or aspirants – look like they rolled out of the same factory.

Their overall physique is best described as “long and lean.”

Some have described it as that of 12-year-old boys in yoga pants and tans.

But why would any man want the women in his life to look like an adolescent boy?

Here are 5 of the most commonly cited reasons, though they tend to avoid using the adolescent boy metaphor:

1] High-end fashion apparel is designed around a long, lean look, so women who look this way always look great at cocktail parties and benefits.

2] Women on the “curvy” side give the impression that the men in their company are, for whatever reason, are unable to command a more exemplary model.

3] Women who are “long and lean” look more educated, cultured and intelligent, which reflects well on the man in their lives, even if neither is the actual case.

4] Men of this demographic prefer smaller women they can physically handle, and subconsciously, dominate.

5] Women who fit this profile avoid criticism from other women, which makes men who rely on flawless social reflections feel better about their choice in mates.

POSTSCRIPT

I was having lunch yesterday at my health-club when one of the staff approached my table to thank me for helping her with her diet. I simply suggested that she try a diet more in line with the Paleo guidelines, which avoid such items as bread.

But what struck me wasn’t that something I suggested was helping her accomplish her weight goals, but why she was trying to lose so much weight in the first place.

“Jay,” she said, “I know that my ticket out of this job is my body. If I can just get that lean look, I can come back here as a member.”

A few statistics worth noting from the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders:

1] Women are much more likely than men to develop an eating disorder. Only an estimated 5 to 15 percent of people with anorexia or bulimia are male.14

2] An estimated 0.5 to 3.7 percent of women suffer from anorexia nervosa in their lifetime.14 Research suggests that about 1 percent of female adolescents have anorexia.

3] An estimated 1.1 to 4.2 percent of women have bulimia nervosa in their lifetime.

4] An estimated 2 to 5 percent of Americans experience binge-eating disorder in a 6-month period.

5] About 50 percent of people who have had anorexia develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.

6] 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems.

Needless to say, the costs of maintenance are usually ten times the value of homes in nicer neighborhoods, and I haven’t even mentioned jail time for women who suffer homicidal rage targeted at the husbands.

Urban Dystrophy [Digital Version] Available on Amazon this week!

LAUNCH DATE FOR DIGITAL VERSION ANNOUNCED ON MAY, 2015!

PRINT VERSION TO FOLLOW.

From Urban Dystrophy:

“You get back what others think you’re worth, not what you think you’re worth. And unless you can afford not to care, you better care. With practice, you’ll be able to determine your own relative value so you’re not disappointed by things you thought you deserved, but didn’t for reasons you may resent, but better get used to.”

“Most middle-aged men struggling to balance acquisition of wealth with fading relevance feel like characters in an apocalypse series with recurring story arcs.”

“I compete with popular culture every day, on every level, including in my love life where it’s particularly competitive.”

“I once knew a forty-two-year-old pharmaceutical rep that kept a list of mandatory line items prospective “boyfriends” had to meet. It sat on her iPad for easy reference. If I remember correctly, the last count was 22,328.”

“Eventually we all reach a point in life where we can no longer hit on young women without also being hit on by a bouncer.”

“In the old days, men had wives and mistresses. This was considered normal. It was understood that emotional intimacy in men was a sign of weakness, and therefore, if women wanted their men to remain strong and faithful to their marriages, mistresses were necessary.”

“At middle age, the situation becomes ten times worse. Although women are decades older than they were back in college, men still measure them against their 1980 yearbook picture, which is why most of the women they date were born about that time. This same pathology manifests in the perception that men and women age at different rates, even if they technically don’t.”

“Women say blessings are counted by the number of people who give you unconditional love. But, others contend that you still die alone, and that bouncing nickels off a flawless ass is worth the blind faith in miracles.”

We’ve also produced some limited edition t-shirts, should you be interested in brandishing the narrative!

The logo below:

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