Posts Tagged → fitness

Testosterone Nation

testosterone

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/should-the-modern-man-be-taking-testosterone/274663/

“Step right up! Right this way. Whether you take your “T” by injection, gel, patch, or subcutaneous pellet, the promise of eternal youth can be yours for the taking!!!”

Most guys in my particular socioeconomic demographic are on some form of testosterone, usually cocktailed with Human Growth Hormone [HGH], and sometimes, anabolic steroids.

This is considered proper maintenance, and therefore, normal.

…………..

The testosterone debate is as heated as politics and religion. Everyone has an opinion.

But the biggest problem is that everyone is also a “research scientist” armed with a battery of affirming studies touting the benefits, while downplaying the side-effects.

In this sense, it’s like the global warming debate.

Did you know that Houston has had its coldest Winter in 30 years? In New England it’s more like 100 years.

Having said this, it has also been the warmest in general, which may or may not have to do with SUV’s and Dick Cheney.

There’s an angle for everything, which brings me back to my point: Testosterone has become a kind of lightning rod for people who want to take advantage of what science has to offer without having to necessarily prove it’s overall safety record.

This is why people carry around talking points to validate their addictions, the main one being baselines. If i keep raising the bar, suddenly everyone needs more testosterone. Get it? This is the hook.

This is why testosterone supplementation has become its own religion, practiced and promoted by pharmaceutical companies, physicians and the patients who carry the “word of god” into gyms across America.

I’ll be straight with you about something: If I were to inject 1 cc of testosterone per week, my body would begin to bleed fat and build more muscle with half the effort I currently put forth in my workouts. How long this would last I don’t know. How long I would last I don’t know. Is it worth the risks given the fact that my livelihood does not depend on winning bodybuilding competitions or the Super Bowl?

No.

If I were a professional athlete, would it be worth the 5 million a year to stay competitive? Probably, which is why most use and then end up in wheelchairs, or worse.

The human body will only give us so much before it starts subtracting the gains.

Nonetheless, the men I’m referring to are NOT professional athletes. They may be athletic. They may want to look and feel better. But from what I have seen, the risks they are willing to take far outweigh the gains they expect.

This is irrelevant to most of them. They live for the moment. For now. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Indeed.

Postscript: In case you’re wondering what all the fuss is really about, take a look at these three steroid users and their preternatural physiques, courtesy of the drugs.

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The Normal Aging Process Versus the Preternaturally Fit.

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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/07/how-exercise-keeps-us-young/?_r=0

“As it turned out, the cyclists did not show their age. On almost all measures, their physical functioning remained fairly stable across the decades and was much closer to that of young adults than of people their age. As a group, even the oldest cyclists had younger people’s levels of balance, reflexes, metabolic health and memory ability.”

From the perspective of chronological averages, my script has been written and what’s left is fading fast.

Fortunately, I’ve never been a fan of averages.

…………

Admittedly, there are days when my age bothers me. I’m smack in the middle of the Baby Boom Gen and sometimes the psychological ramifications of being this far down the road sucks. People are dying all over the place and everyone seems to have some horror story to share about their health.if they just shut up about it for five minutes I swear they’d feel better.

It seems like just yesterday I was a carefree young man, the world at my feet, with endless promise ahead of me.

I thought of people my age as dead men walking, and dismissed them summarily. It’s not that I was unable to see their strengths, but that I resented their competitive presence in the game of life. After all, this was my world. Their time came and went, so why are they still here?

And then it happened: I woke up one day the object of my own adolescent scorn.

Wow. I didn’t feel any differently, but here I was, an older man.

And while there was absolutely nothing I could do about chronological stage in life, there was everything in the world I could do about how I wanted to live it.

So I started power lifting.

I found a top trainer and focused on a goal.

See, an important aspect of physical fitness for older men is having a goal. Without one, you get lost. Motivation dries up because there’s nothing to work towards, and eventually, you’re back on the couch reading history books before dying of heart failure before your 60th birthday.

Power lifting, like Cross-fit, and other competitive endeavors makes goal-setting a integral part of the training process.

Adding to this is the camaraderie often lacking in an older man’s life, which you have to feel yourself to really appreciate. You stop drawing inward and resigned, and instead experience a reawakening.

For me it was an easy segue because I’ve been athletic all my life, but I have seen frumpy middle-aged men morph into competitive athletes with entirely new outlooks on life. In fact, you wouldn’t recognize many of them from their former pathetic selves.

The moment you give up on yourself and your abilities, you’re dead in the water. The missives from young men are now accurate, and you become the helpless poster-child for irrelevance.

Life is all about choices. We can choose to fade, or we can get back in the ring and compete.

What I’ve noticed is that men of all ages respect older men who fight for themselves, who challenge the forces of time, and set examples for future generations.

Now they have something to actually look forward to, which no one will dismiss.

……………

I’ll leave you with this: The following is a video of a 78-year-old man doing leg lifts at my gym 3 days ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MsO2lqgvZ4&feature=youtu.be&app=desktop 

 

Is Aging a Disease?

 

0bba1e9bdhttp://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/02/the-narcissistic-injury-of-middle-age/283602/

To the normal person, aging is considered a natural process that one accepts.

To the normal urbanite, it’s a disease like leukemia that one fights tooth and nail with testosterone, dermal fillers, plastic surgery and 6-hour kickboxing classes.

With this in mind, I can state unequivocally that aging is the crucible of my generation.

NEWSFLASH: We are NO LONGER the center of the universe.

Now the only way we get that level of attention is by doing something that lands us on the evening news.

Many refer to this phenomenon as “invisibility.”

Some describe it to be a lot like death, but more expensive.

Whatever it is, though, sucks.

In the article, the answer is to “use our accumulated wisdom and experience to help guide the next generation.”

For some, this is enough. They coach Little league, get involved in charitable causes, move to Florida.

But for millions of others, this is not how they see themselves, or the balance of their lives, which could very well span several decades.

For me, it’s about getting up everyday and putting one foot in front of the other.

Think of it as the first step in a twelve-step program.

If you can’t get out of bed, you just as soon swallow that bottle of Xanax in the closet.

Your next step is to take stock of what you do have and balance it against what you don’t.

I use a Magic Marker and draw a black line down the center of a page: The good is on the left, the bad on the right.

If the “good” column has more entrees than the bad, it’s a good day.

The next thing I do is eat clean. It’s a pain in the ass, but you get used to it.

Then I sit down at my desk and write. This constitutes work, which is critical to any man’s self-esteem. You can’t just drift. It will obliterate whatever is left of you in a heartbeat.

Now you know why people like The Stones still tour. They hardly need the money. It’s about relevance, visibility, and purpose. You have to have a reason to go on.

Okay, so now that you’re eating right and doing something professionally challenging and meaningful, you have to go to the gym.

This does not mean get a gym membership and participate in some senior’s stretching class. It means going to the gym and busting your ass alongside people half your age.

Then you have to rest and recover. This takes longer than it used to and that’s just the way it is no matter what the hell you do.

Next, you will need a life beyond yourself to soften the blows of aging, which involves another human being. Living alone works great for homicidal sociopaths, but not middle-aged men.

If you’re in a dead-end marriage, you owe it to yourself, and your spouse, to either improve the situation or move on.

Putting a hooker on the payroll [like a lot of guys I know] only insures that the already disastrous relationship with your current wife will end up in the hands of attorneys. It’s a downward spiral.

Finally, count your blessings. Remember the list? Read it, over and over and over again until you memorize the good stuff.

I have to do this every day and believe me when I tell you, it keeps the pity party at arms length, which is exactly where it belongs.

By the way, I’m competing again in the USAPL power-lifting competition this July in Houston to hold my state record in the dead lift. Here’s a video of my progress so far…

IMG_1718

 

Anthony Kiedis [52] Dating Wanessa Milhomem [22].

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2998726/Anthony-Kiedis-52-takes-girlfriend-Wanessa-Milhomem-22-surfing.html

Why is this a story?

Because anything involving successful older men in the company of beautiful young women tends to fly off the shelves.

Why is this?

Because older women [and younger men] want someone to beat on for “dismissing” them.

Here’s one such comment:

“Nancy” from Washington D.C. wrote in reference to someone who said that the relationship made perfect sense…”Except that maybe he’s on a catheter when the kid is graduating from college. or worse, suffering from Alzheimer’s and trying to work out who his kid is…”

“Nancy” like others of her mindset are loath to accept the fact that age disparity may involve far more than a simple exchange of commodities. I might also add that science has repeatedly dismissed the efficacy of crystal balls, so we have no idea who will go first; or when, or how.

Life is not a linear calculation. Weird things happen along the way. Unexpected things. Nobody knows what’s around the next corner. The shoe just drops when it drops.

If Kiedis were to date a 52-year-old woman, she might drop dead tomorrow of a brain aneurism. She might also outlive him by 20 years after he got hit back a garbage truck. Then there’s the fidelity issue, as in what happens if she sleeps with another rock star while Anthony is on tour?

This is when people fall back into the “likelihood” discussion, which is fine as long as everything plays out as planned.

In this context, one must conclude that Kiedis will go first.

However, if they stay together for 10 years, that would be 2 years longer than the average marriage lasts between age-relevant couples in the United States.

Win-win.

As for raw statistics, they do bear out that large age gaps lead to higher divorce rates, but I would submit that the reason for this is because many of the people in these relationships are in them for everything BUT emotion.

How long do hookers last? An hour?

In fairness, not every woman is on board with the criticism as the following article illustrates:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/monique-honaman/shes-how-old-do-age-diffe_b_3684419.html

Some people actually understand that love is where you find it no matter what it looks like from the outside.

I am in one of these “doomed’ relationships. My live-in girlfriend of 4 years is 30 years my junior.

Does this make me feel better about myself, my masculinity, or my success in life?

No.

Would I prefer that she be closer to my age?

No. I like beautiful young objects I can kick around like a soccer ball…lol.

You critics really need to get a life.

 

Who Do Some Men Just Get Better With Age?

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2970768/Liam-Neeson-George-Clooney-Pierce-Brosnan-Hollywood-stars-awesome-age.html#cid=55367783552

When many people envision a 62-year-old man, they don’t see Liam Neeson.

What they do see, quite frankly, is a stereotype many of us in this general chronological ballpark don’t resemble.

Not even close, actually.

So what’s our secret?

1] Eat clean. Lots of fruits and vegetables and high quality protein.

Comments: Eating clean will become a part of your daily ritual. You will eventually learn that while cheat days are occasionally acceptable, it’s best to stick with cheat meals. An entire day of bad eating will cost you a week of rehab.

2] Get plenty of rest. 8 hours a night is like not having to pay a plastic surgeon before their time. 

Comments: In the days before I had a live-in girlfriend, I was out 6 nights a week. My sleep habits were all over the place, but the “running the nights’ rush helped mitigate whatever I lost in REM 4. Of course, I was also younger, which helped. See, the older you get, the less help you get. If this is lost on you, go back to therapy. If you’re more comfortable with an internist, they’ll probably refer you to one.

3] Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. With water, not vodka. You can squeeze a lemon in it if you want a vague reminder of what it was like to down a lemon drop martini.

Comments: The function of the kidneys, which helps to regulate fluid, declines with aging. The ability to recognize thirst decreases with aging — sometimes older people don’t realize they are thirsty. With aging, the amount of body water decreases. So even a small change in fluid intake can cause dehydration. The fallout from dehydration just isn’t worth it.

  • dry mouth and nose
  • loose and/or dry skin
  • skin “tenting” in the forehead
  • increased tiredness and/or weakness
  • restlessness
  • sudden (acute) confusion
  • concentrated urine
  • dizziness and orthostatic hypotension (standing causes sudden drop in blood pressure, feeling dizzy, and even fainting)
  • increased heart rate
  • loss of appetite
  • constipation
  • nausea and vomiting

4] Workout every day of the week: 3 days of weight training, 3 days of cardio, 1 day of stretching and recovery.

Comments: Don’t freak out. I’m not telling you to spend your entire life in a gym. I’m asking for one hour a day: 3 days a week of resistance training for strength, flexibility and bone density, followed by stretching. 3 days a week of cardio at 60-85% of maximum, followed by stretching. 1 day a week to recover. I spend a little time with foam rollers and lacrosse balls to break up the fascia and improve blood flow.

5] Manicure your face: trim eyebrows, nose hair, ear hair, and whatever other hair you may or may not have.

Comments: There’s nothing that says “I’m oblivious” than a lack of personal grooming. A lot of old guys look like tree moss. It’s pathetic. Clearly, they’ve given up. But just remember, when you give up, people give up on you. Put another way, you disappear.

6] Use quality skin products. Borax won’t cut it anymore.

Comments: A lot of guys give me shit about my rather robust regimen of skin products, but they never fail to suggest that I’ve gone under the knife, which is not true. What is true is that I take care of my skin because it no longer takes care of itself. My suggestion is that you see a dermatologist for an overall assessment and product suggestions.

7] Keep “toxic” stress levels low. There’s a difference between good stress and bad stress. One gets you out of bed. The other one puts you in the ground.

Comments: One of the many downsides to getting older is that stress is not something the body handles as well as it used it. The good news, however, is that you don’t have to put up with as much crap as you used to, so use that to your advantage as much as possible. I use the line, “at this stage of the game, I’ve earned the right to just say no.”

8] Choose you gene pool carefully. Unfortunately, this one’s out of your hands, which is a drag since it also happens to be the most important one and the main reason why you have to follow all of the aforementioned rules.

Comments: Your genes will determine the lion’s share of how your life plays out. Some say that only 15% of what you do changes the course of destiny, but I disagree. With perfect genetics I could overdose on heroin at 18.

9] Never let a photographer with an on-camera flash get within ten feet of you for photo ops. If you do, you’ll understand why you should not have allowed this in the first place.

Comments: Understand that you cannot compete with your 25-year-old face. This is why professional models tend to be children in adult clothing. With this in mind, the closer an on-camera flash gets to you, the worse you will look. So either tell the photographer to lose the flash, or step the hell back.

10] If your girlfriend is significantly younger than you are, come to terms with the fact that you will get older as she appears to get younger.

Comments: This is a very real problem for both genders who date inter-generationally. The upside is that the younger of the two will always be appear physically beautiful. The downside is that you will always look like their parent no matter how good you look. There is a hidden cost in every seamless transaction.

Final remarks:

Liam Neeson was photographed on a set in flattering light, which makes the most of his appearance. But understand that no matter what the lighting happens to be, if you live your life like Keith Richards, you will look like Keith Richards no matter what the lighting happens to be. 

 

At 62, Mickey Rourke Redefines “Living Life to Its Fullest”

rourke

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2989264/Mickey-Rourke-playfully-gets-knees-hangs-friends-Hollywood.html

I’ve always been a fan of Mickey Rourke. He lives life like there’s no tomorrow [literally] … like he already knows there will, in fact, be no tomorrow.

Mickey’s a few years older than yours truly, but we’re in the same ballpark, generation-ally speaking.

We also share a certain playful audacity that comes with the territory when you’re an older, successful actor, artist, entertainer, writer, photographer and the like.

We are what civilians refer to as “out there,” some more so than others, but still.

Many people probably see Mickey as some drug-addled psychopath with delusions of relevance. What I see is an extraordinarily talented man who believed in himself, and through sheer force of will, lived to see another day.

What’s left standing is not a man in his final hours, but a man who wears the scars of his life like a badge of honor.

After all, not everyone is a normal, well adjusted adult with reasonable expectations, and thank God.

Birth of the Middle-Aged “Moderation” Mantra

moderation1-600x314

No matter what we do to stay in shape, eat right, get enough rest, and take time out of our busy lives to have some semblance of a functional personal life, a Nor’easter is on the way.

So two days ago I got news that my new book, Urban Dystrophy, was on press. That afternoon I hit a personal record [PR] in the gym, and late that day, I heard news from my Internist that my blood work was excellent.

What could go wrong? Right?

At 7:PM I had a great meal at home, cleaned up, walked in the dark [always a bad move] towards the bedroom to watch Criminal Minds on my Macbook Pro, and out of nowhere slipped on a plastic coat hanger.

See, normally I don’t leave coat hangers in the middle of the floor, but my French Bulldog, Zeppelin, does.

So everything is suddenly in slow motion except for the subtle “POP” emanating from my knee. Specifically, the meniscus.

Now folks, if I were 22, this would be no big deal. Back then I was injured more than not, and didn’t think much about it. It would heal, and in the meantime I would do whatever I did around it.

I didn’t lapse into some existential hell-hole assuming the worst: I will never recover, my quality of life is shot in spite of my best efforts, the stars have it out for me, God is pissed.

But this is what middle-aged guys tend do when anything goes wrong. We assume the worst because we’ve spent a lifetime hearing news of the worst, which seems to happen to people more and more frequently as they age.

The psychological impact of even the slightest injury is magnified a thousand times.

The primary reason for this is academic: We recover a lot more slowly than we did back when we were in our 20’s, and at this juncture in life, we have less time to heal. 

This is why so many middle-aged guys practice “moderation,” otherwise known as living to avoid injury.

The problem with this practice is that it takes life down a notch to a level of competitive mediocrity, and thus, yields mediocre results. Eventually, time advances at twice the pace of the body, and instead of spraining a knee, I break a friggin’ hip. This is why you have to train hard, but smart.

Having said this, the “coat hangar” will always be there, waiting to throw us off guard. Our job is to be ready to handle any eventuality to the best of our ability — no matter what it is, and moderation only assures an even more disastrous result.

POSTSCRIPT: This morning my cat attacked my leg.