Piers Morgan Assails Plastic Surgeons and the Battle for Immortality: A Brief Discussion on the Psychopathology of Aging

2755308600000578-3028734-image-m-3_1428406979049Dr Fredric Brandt, pictured here with fan Kelly Ripa

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3028734/PIERS-MORGAN-Tina-Fey-guilty-s-holding-merciless-mirror-utter-futility-plastic-surgery-industry.html

In this article [tirade], Piers Morgan trashes physician Fredric Brandt for what he claims to be exploitation of client vanity. You can read the article for yourself. Suffice to say, Morgan is no stranger to sensationalizing cultural hot buttons. 

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The following link explores the world Dr. Brandt and the pursuit of physical perfection. I will follow up with a discussion of vanity among middle-aged men, and their insatiable pursuit of “relevance” as they see it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3029107/PICTURE-EXCLUSIVE-Famed-plastic-surgeon-Dr-Fredric-Brandt-s-high-school-photos-reveal-handsome-student-suicide-doctor-object-ridicule-Tina-Fey-s-NetFlix-show.html

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Like everything else in life, you can eat too many cheeseburgers. Once in a while is fine. Every day and you’re a walking dead man.

Same is true of fitness.

After a certain age, if you workout 7 days a week, 3 hours a day you’re going to end up in the hospital.

Cut it back to 1 hour a day, 6 days a week – with good diet and lots of rest – and you can go on and on and on.

When it comes to the other “maintenance” most people refer to as plastic surgery, the same logic applies.

If your laugh lines look like ravines in photo ops, you can visit a dermatologist and a dermal filler erase them in 5 minutes.

But if you’re back every week for another procedure, I might suggest a psychiatrist.

As a middle-aged man the disastrous effects this quest for perfection has on people is impossible to miss.

Most of these people never saw a needle they didn’t like.

And it’s not like you’re going to be dissuaded by physicians who pursue this area of medicine for everything but altruism.

It’s big business, and they’re masters of monetizing insecurity.

Most physicians in this trade only see the credit card, not the self-esteem on life support.

So get a grip.

Having said this, when surgeries get to a point where even the physician refuses further procedures on ethical grounds, it’s usually a business decision tied to a patient’s sudden resemblance to fish.

kissing_gourami_by_vukaddin-d6duioz

 

 

Urban Dystrophy [Digital Version] Available on Amazon this week!

Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 12.24.31 PM copyLAUNCH DATE FOR DIGITAL VERSION ANNOUNCED ON MAY, 2015!

PRINT VERSION TO FOLLOW.

From Urban Dystrophy:

“You get back what others think you’re worth, not what you think you’re worth. And unless you can afford not to care, you better care. With practice, you’ll be able to determine your own relative value so you’re not disappointed by things you thought you deserved, but didn’t for reasons you may resent, but better get used to.”

“Most middle-aged men struggling to balance acquisition of wealth with fading relevance feel like characters in an apocalypse series with recurring story arcs.”

“I compete with popular culture every day, on every level, including in my love life where it’s particularly competitive.”

“I once knew a forty-two-year-old pharmaceutical rep that kept a list of mandatory line items prospective “boyfriends” had to meet. It sat on her iPad for easy reference. If I remember correctly, the last count was 22,328.”

“Eventually we all reach a point in life where we can no longer hit on young women without also being hit on by a bouncer.”

“In the old days, men had wives and mistresses. This was considered normal. It was understood that emotional intimacy in men was a sign of weakness, and therefore, if women wanted their men to remain strong and faithful to their marriages, mistresses were necessary.”

“At middle age, the situation becomes ten times worse. Although women are decades older than they were back in college, men still measure them against their 1980 yearbook picture, which is why most of the women they date were born about that time. This same pathology manifests in the perception that men and women age at different rates, even if they technically don’t.”

“Women say blessings are counted by the number of people who give you unconditional love. But, others contend that you still die alone, and that bouncing nickels off a flawless ass is worth the blind faith in miracles.”

We’ve also produced some limited edition t-shirts, should you be interested in brandishing the narrative!

The logo below:

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Curves Vs. Face in Over-40 Women: A Man’s Perspective.

26FE34B300000578-3011773-image-m-16_1427322509796

Candice Bergen [68] has a curvy figure.

26FE37DD00000578-3011773-image-m-26_1427322629269 Victoria Beckham [40] has a thin figure.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3011773/It-s-classic-advice-given-women-age-40-does-woman-really-choose-FACE-BOTTOM.html

Articles like this one have been popping up a lot lately as aging women feel the pressure to conform to standards they themselves set decades ago. This one in particular was written in response to Candice Bergen’s comments about aging women where she advises older women to “keep a lovely, plump pretty face, and stay sitting down.”

Needless to say, this upset women who feel that objectification is a crucible they will never outlive.

They’re right, actually. They will never outlive it.

The older men I spend time around tend to be ambitious and successful. They have high expectations and are surrounded by a culture group that reinforces this narrative.

While it is not uncommon to see out-of-shape, age-relevant couples who’ve been married for decades, there is usually a back story, an off-the-books apartment in Manhattan in someone else’s name, perhaps.

If a man does happen to crave big beautiful women, he calls an escort service and keeps his mouth shut. They both do. For a price.

Back to the subject at hand, the men in my demographic tend to like the same body types: Fit, thin, and tall [ish]. Some describe it as that of a 12-year-old boy.

This is not to say that these men are gay, but that a certain androgynous aesthetic is preferred.

Why?

Several reasons, but first an example:

hotsale-women-s-swimwear-super-sexy-solid

Now for the reasons:

1] They look great in designer apparel, regardless of the designer.

2] They can wear a basically nothing no matter what time of the month it happens to be.

3] Other woman hate them, which men love.

4] The subconscious dominance men experience in their company bolsters self esteem, both in and out of the bedroom.

5] Thin women convey to men that they understand and appreciate a particular aesthetic, thus, no matter what the hell happens, including pregnancy, they will always squeeze into a size “0-2” Chanel cocktail dress.

So basically, Candice Bergen is right.

She had her day in the sun and has finally come to a place of acceptance.

A rare admission, indeed. No wonder women are so pissed off at her.

If I didn’t look like the model above, I would be, too.