Super Ripped, Super Shredded Men Over 50 – and Reality

Just so you know where I’m coming from, I’ve been active in the fitness lifestyle my entire life.

In fact, it could be argued that fitness interfered with my personal and professional life on more than one occasion, and over a period of many, many years.

Thus, to suggest in any way that I’m an outsider where this is concerned is naive.

I’ve been in this world, know the player-profiles, understand the mindset.

So let’s get real.

By the time you’re my age [60], things change. You can no longer pack on dense muscle while bleeding fat. It isn’t going to happen –– not naturally.

This means you’re going to need extra help, like testosterone supplementation coupled with 3 or 4 other pharmaceutical agents designed to “compliment” one another.

One helps build strength, another cuts inflammation…you get the point.

Going down this road is a conscious choice many men make when mortality is beating down the doors and there’s nothing left but an aging body.

The psychological profiles of these men are all similar: They are most often vain, arrogant, entitled and filled with rage.

Why?

Because there is nothing else in their lives to help mitigate the attrition.

They’re left with a disintegrating asset, rather than an expanding mind and soul; and asset on a collision course with destiny no matter how many syringes they jam into their bloated veins.

Do I feel the psychological pressure of mortality?

Absolutely. I feel it every day of my life, which is why I have a life beyond my physical body.

I know this is a shocking revelation to many, that there is anything at all worth exploring beyond the physical.

Surprise surprise.

My creative pursuits alone are a full time job, not to mention my relationship, which also includes two dogs and two cats as big as dogs.

This scenario is what most refer to as a balanced life, which does pull time away from workouts, perfect eating and regular blood work necessary to monitor elevated liver enzyme and PSA levels while on steroids.

In this sense, fitness can become ab addiction like alcoholism or drug addiction or sex addiction or gambling addiction or any of the other addictions that raid the dopamine mines and turn one’s life into a living nightmare of emptiness.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/07/what_is_dopamine_love_lust_sex_addiction_gambling_motivation_reward.html

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Newton’s Third law of Motion

But I’m not here to beat up on men who take care of themselves. Hardly.

I think men should take exemplary care of themselves, but to understand that we are all human, and to expect results beyong what the body will naturally deliver will require more than a healthy lifestyle.

Go back to the blood test. If it’s normal, the rest is up to you and the genetics you were born with.

But no matter what your genetics have to say about it, age is the Supreme Court of physicality.

You’re not getting out of life unscathed.

We all pay the price, which is why it is so critical for all of us as older men to have lives outside of the gym.

In the end, there is nothing more pathetic than an aging man with nothing to show for himself but low body fat and a dark tan.

Now you know why so many of us are punchlines.

What Boomers Want in Bed […according to Match.com]

http://www.match.com/magazine/article/8469/What-Baby-Boomers-Want-In-The-Bedroom/

According to Match what she wants…

1] Fabulous foreplay

Joy Parsons, 63, of Oklahoma City, OK, says more kissing and cuddling is at the top of her sexual wish list.

“Too many men I’ve dated recently just pop a Viagra and expect to get straight to it,” she confesses.

“But I for one need an appetizer before I jump to the main course.”

Comments: No question there’s an imbalance here, just as there is with men who take steroids versus those who don’t.

Pharmaceuticals throw off the natural order of things leaving many, in this case, older women in its wake.

2] To get their sexy back

“During lovemaking, I don’t want to worry about what my neck looks like,” confesses Sheila Clarkson, 59, of Las Vegas, NV. “Deep down, I still feel 19! I want my lover to make me feel as desirable and hot on the outside as I feel on the inside.”

Comments: This is a tough one because men are already staring down the barrel of mortality. My suggestion to older women is to find a man who’s comfortable with mortality.

3] More emotional intimacy

Francis Becker, 55, of Tacoma, WA, says that emotional bond is indeed what drives her post-50 sexual encounters. “I need to feel like I’m reaching a higher plane with someone,” she confides. “After a long and bitter divorce five years ago, I decided that before I slept with someone, he’d have to win my heart first. I don’t take sex lightly, and I don’t want my partner to, either. We need to connect on a spiritual level.”

Comments: When older men think of emotional intimacy in the context of sex, they’re usually running for the hills. Men see sex as a primal act, and any attempt to disrupt the flow sets up a clear and present danger to their masculinity. My suggestion is to substitute fantasy to avoid triggering the Madonna-Whore Complex.

~~~

According to Match what he wants…

1] Passionate positive reinforcement

James Franklin, 62, of La Canada, CA, says the most important thing to him in the bedroom is knowing that he’s turning his partner on. “After 60, I don’t always perform like I used to,” he confesses. “So, during sex, it’s crucial for me to know that I’m still a great lover. It’s up to her to send me that message loud and clear.”

Comments: I have found that performing the way I did back in my 20’s is a blessed relief to women, because now I actually care about their satisfaction. As for positive reinforcement, I have found that the ones needing the reinforcement are women, given the Internet’s infringement upon reality.

2] Less pressure to be the best ever

When and if things don’t go as planned in the passion department, it’s important for women to not make a big deal about it. Instead, take this opportunity to discover ways to give each other pleasure that don’t include intercourse. Give back rubs. Caress each other’s bodies. Instead of getting frustrated or saying ‘I give up,’ explore new avenues of pleasure.

Comments: If you’re with someone who loves you for who you are and not what you bring to the table in stocks and real estate, you’re free to just be yourself. If, however, you’re in shit shape and falter repeatedly in the bedroom, it’s time to see a urologist.

3] More surprises in the sack

Men in midlife don’t want to get trapped under the boredom rock. They are looking for spontaneity and a bolder approach, both in the bedroom and out. Boredom simply isn’t conducive to passion.

Ray Brown, 71, of Jersey City, NJ, found when he started dating a new woman last year. “She was only interested in one position, and she told me there was to be no talking during lovemaking—ever,” he says. “After three or four encounters, I felt like falling asleep! I need someone who’s going to keep me guessing, not someone who somehow manages to make sex boring. Now more than ever, life’s just too short.”

Comments: After a single encounter, I can determine – without a shadow of doubt –whether or not we’re going to be sexually compatible. No one stays with a woman who puts them to sleep in the bedroom. Life’s already on a short fuse and no one’s giving up a single second more than they absolutely have to.

Closing remarks

If I happen to offend anyone with what I’m about to say, please understand that reality doesn’t give a crap what you or I think. It just is and WE either accept it or drop another Quaalude.

Most guys in my socioeconomic demographic who happen to be back in the singles market are not dating women their own age. Most women are 20 years younger…or more. This is considered age-appropriate, and therefore, normal.

Such women are not as concerned about how sex plays out because their bodies still work the way they used to. This is one reason men re-set the baselines.

Most of what this article refers to are men and women in the identical age demographic, which, as I have always said, is best left to people with either low libidos, low self-esteem, or physical and psychiatric disabilities.

~~~

It bears noting that age differences also apply to affluent older women who date younger men for similar reasons.

In this sense, youth and money are synonymous.

Jerry Hall, 59 Engaged to Rupert Murdock, 84

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3394897/Jerry-Hall-59-announces-engagement-84-year-old-Rupert-Murdoch.html

Needless to say, this story is not really about Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdock.

It’s about age differences, and how money and power are balanced against relative youth and relative beauty on a very public stage.

What’s obvious is that Hall stands to inherit a massive sum when he dies, which, from an actuarial perspective, is just around the corner.

So she gives up a few years of her life in exchange for vast riches, while he gets to sleep with a younger woman with whom he shares common interests and lifestyles.

In this sense they both win.

But is this it?

Is it just a business decision?

Does Murdock think he’s being used? Probably not.

Does she love him in the way most people think of love?

I don’t know and neither does anyone else.

What I have found through personal experience that most older women – of which Hall is certainly a member – are far less interested in sex and romance than they are companionship.

There are exceptions, but not many.

Hair Loss Triggers Depression in Older Men [and women]

Fact: 75% of all men will suffer some degree of hair loss by age 60.

Fact: 50% of all women will experience some hair thinning by the age of 40, three-quarters by the time they are 65.

This is particularly bad news for Baby Boomers who make up the 51-70 demographic [1946-1964].

According to Dr Asim Shahmalak, Britain’s most respected and best-known hair transplant surgeons, hair loss can have devastating psychological consequences.

“Men and women alike, although it is mainly men who suffer, go through a series of psychological stages when their hair thins, he says. Broadly speaking these can be characterized thus: Shock – Denial – Anger – Depression – Acceptance, not dissimilar to any other life-changing episode.”

He goes on to tell the story of Mark Oaten, then a rising political star, who became mired in a sex scandal.

“Mr Oaten did not condemn the media, nor point to the pressures of life in the Westminister bubble, as he might reasonably have done and many before him have.
Instead, in an unusual and highly thought provoking response, he laid the blame for his behavior squarely at the door of a mid-life crisis occasioned, he said, by the loss of his hair.”

I’m not making this up.

Writing at the time in a compelling dispatch for the Sunday Times, Mr Oaten identified the loss of his hair as the trigger behind the increasing anxiety in his personal and professional life as an MP.

“Any television appearance would result in a barrage of emails, not about the issues I’d raised but about my lack of hair,” he admitted.

“Whether supportive or not, they all asked what had happened to my hair.”

He went on, “It’s perhaps not surprising that I became more and more obsessed by its disappearance. For me it was a public sign that my youth had ended.”

The loss of hair for men and women can be deeply traumatic. And trauma, however hard to gauge, can influence both happiness and behavior. No one should underestimate the affect hair loss can have.

‘Baldy’, ‘slaphead’, ‘bone dome’, all harmless banter, right? Hardly. The language of the schoolyard extends well beyond the boardroom.

I’m hardly one to argue in favor of political correctness, but people need to get a grip on the essential vulnerabilities human beings carry, especially things like hair loss, over which they have no control.

Self-confidence is of paramount important to well being. And once that confidence goes, it can be hard to regain, leaving both professional and personal life badly exposed.

According to Dr. Shahmalak, patients readily admit to worrying constantly about their thinning hair and tell him about the impact on their social lives:

“Innocent comments can be misinterpreted, the eyes of their friends seem drawn to their temples, everyone else has a full head of hair. Why not them? I don’t exaggerate.”

In a society where image has become so important, hair is crucial.

It also can be tougher for modern men than for previous generations because of the high number of mid-life relationship break-ups and divorce. This coupled with greater independence for women, and men are now under pressure to keep looking younger in later life.

This scenario isn’t without crosscurrents, however.

Having very short hair is often seen as more masculine – and there are some suggestions that baldness is linked with heightened virility.

There are plenty of poster-boy role models for the nervously-thinning male.

But if people fear the worst about getting bald, it can become part of a wider mid-life crisis, says business and social psychologist, Michael Gutteridge.

If a man has strongly identified with his appearance, then losing his hair can feel like a threat to his identity as it means he stops looking like the person he thought he was. This is more than just vanity.

Dr Gutteridge says that it’s becoming increasingly common for business leaders to have cosmetic surgery, reflecting their need to send a visual message that they are still young and energetic.

Politics comes to mind.

Did you know that in the United Kingdom, no bald headed party leaders have won a general election since the television era began, perhaps reflecting the potent cocktail of associations that connects hair with power, attractiveness and vitality?

Even businessman and presidential candidate, Donald Trump, made reference to it when he stated, “it’s extremely important for all men to maintain a good head of hair.”

As for his hair, I’ll abstain from further comment.

The Future Looks Good

Barry Stevens, general secretary of the Trichological Society, says in the foreseeable future there will be an effective way of preventing baldness using “tissue engineering” and cloning technology.

This would mean cultivating hair-growing skin from an original sample, which would be grafted back onto the scalp.

“This isn’t pie in the sky, there are tens of millions being pumped into research into this,” says Mr. Stevens. But once an effective technique is developed, he forecasts that this will become a massive industry.

I could have guessed that myself.

Mr. Stevens has been working in the hair industry for four decades and he is strongly dismissive of much of the hair loss merchandising on the market, particular products that claim to “re-grow” vanished hair.

Hairr transplants work for some people, he says, but little else is worth the money.

“People are getting conned every day, charged thousands they can’t afford, going to hair clinics where they’re sold magic pills and creams that don’t work. I’m sickened by much of the industry, it is corrupt, full of charlatans.”

“If there were a safe and effective drug for re-growing hair it would be available from doctors, rather than adverts in the backs of newspapers,” he says.

But there is certainly a massive market for such hair revitalization, with an estimated 5.5 million websites dedicated to hair products.

This is because even though men might say they don’t care, losing hair can take the scissors to their self-confidence – and they’ll spend a great deal of money trying to turn back the tide, says Mr. Stevens.

It might not be apparent for many years, but the 100,000 hairs on a youthful male head begin to reduce in number almost as soon as men reach their teenage years.

The rate and extent of the hair loss is governed by genes, and Mr. Stevens says it’s a myth that men should look to their mother’s family for an indication of how their hair might recede.

Like hair color, patterns of balding can be inherited from either side of the family and from several generations back, which is why brothers can have completely different amounts of hair.

But what should a balding man say to a hairdresser? Honesty and a good close crop. The comb-over or any other cunning coiffure is not going to fool anyone.

Comments from men around the globe taken from an article published recently in the BBC:

I used to have long hair all my late teens and twenties and early thirties. So to discover it thin on top and receding a little, I have now shaved it with a razor. People are used to it now, but deep down I hate it and am depressed about it. I don’t want long hair for my age, but just a good head of hair so I don’t have to shave all the time. I don’t like any photos with me in, so I guess it’s a major problem with me. I have less confidence and think I’ll remain single.

Andy, Scotland

I used to have long flowing locks a la Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain in the ’90s now at 29 I’m a virtual skin head. I put it down to too much hair dye, late nights and a diet of fags and black coffee in my late teens and early twenties. I used to get far more abuse walking down the street because of having hair than I do now. A bald head makes you look well’ard!

Rob, Norwich

Isn’t hiring rent boys rather an odd way to assert your masculinity?

Chandra, London, England

Had a ponytail for a long time, then my hair began thinning on top. Created my own ‘Millenium Dome’ at the start of 2000, clipping it short all over and bald on top. Raised cash for charity too. It’s much easier to look after, I can trim it myself without small-talking with hairdressers about holidays, and it doesn’t bother me at all, though it gives my mates much amusement. Also it’s something to rub when you need to think hard! But you need a baseball cap when it’s very hot or cold. Anyone going bald – just get over it, it’s no big deal!

Jason Mills, Accrington, UK

I have two sons 20 and 23, both lost almost all their hair in their teens as did their grandfather. It hasn’t affected their attraction to the opposite sex, so I think these precious males have to accept that they just aren’t as attractive in middle age as they were in their youth – with or without hair.

Janet Georghiou, Windsor

As a balding man of 25, the concept of having a’solar panel for a sex machine’ on top of my head certainly appeals!

John Ferguson, Edinburgh

I’ll admit that I am slightly torn about the issue. Although part of me would love to salvage the few strands of hair left on my head and even get a few extra ones, at the end of the day, this ugly mug I was born with is mine, whether I like it or not. And I am not entirely convinced that a full head of hair would magically transform me into any kind of Adonis.

Steven, Shrewsbury

I was bald by the age of 21. Many women find it sexy, I find it convenient to clean-shave once a week rather than pay ridiculous amounts of money to have a hair-cut once a month. Never got me down, since I was never a stud so I have built my confidence based on my brains, not on my looks. Never really liked my hair anyway since it was curly and unmanagable.

Elias Kostopoulos, Athens, Greece

I’ve recently joined the bald gang as I approach 30. I had long hair for over 10 years, something crucial to a fan of heavy metal, but like life, it’s something to accept, deal with and move on. Buy yourself some hair trimmer and get with enjoying life, you ain’t dead yet!

Dave, Southampton

I started to lose my hair when i was in my early 20’s. I used to have a great head of hair and first noticed it thinning at the front when I was 21. By the time I started Uni at 23 it had become noticeable. Friends and family were kind saying it was my imagination. It really upset me and i used to wonder why it had started so young with me. I was always conscious of it and it nearly destroyed me. One day at around 27 years old i shaved it and i felt relieved. I did not have to hide it any more and was out in the open. I do think that it has harmed my chances with girls. I am not bad looking and never had to try too hard. Now I’m bald I have to try ten times harder than I used to. I have to develop all kinds of strategies. Its hard work!

Richard, London

I have two sons. One 48 years with a mass of hair. The other 39 years with a bald head. Their father/uncle/grandfather/grandmother/aunt/myself all have very thick hair so for some reason my youngest son has different genes. I must add that he has not had a problem with his lack of hair, unless he hides it well.

Doreen Whittaker, Surrey

I started losing my hair very early on, in my early 20’s. It did have a depressing affect on me, as I thought that I was no longer as attractive as I had been. Looking back, I can’t believe what an arrogant and vain prat I was. The turning point finally came when I bought some electronic clippers and shaved it all off. I felt better, there was no chance of me resorting to a comb-over and my self-esteem went up again. I’ve never looked back since then. And I’m getting married next year!

Marc Jones, Chingford, London, UK

I agree that we must be honest about baldness. You can’t really fool anyone. Sure it is great to have a full head of hair, but most men don’t after a certain age. I’ve seen all sorts of silly cures here (Malaysia) and nothing works, snake oils and all sorts. The key is to look at yourself in a positive way … be bold and bald … some find this attractive! It is also far more comfortable, a close crop makes me feel better than a length of locks. There is plenty of successful bald men, just stay away from british politics though.

Bill, Malaysia

It’s perfectly acceptable for a man to lose his hair, whatever his age…. provided he keeps what’s left very short. The men that attempt to cover it up, just highlight the fact and draw attention to it! A lot of men look more attractive with a shaven head.

Rachel, Southampton

What an absolute load of tosh, using losing ones hair as an excuse for insecurity. I started losing my hair in my early 20’s and just accepted is as part of life. It’s caused no crisis the conscious effect it had was it made me go for a shorter hairstyle. Now some 30 years later that I’m almost totally bald I just have my remaining hair cropped every few weeks. People who have ‘issues’ with hair loss are, in my opinion, using the hair loss as an excuse for a deeper insecurity.

Paul Ostermeyer, Milton Keynes, UK

My partner has a bald head and looks better now than he did as a youngster. I find it very attractive in a man. It’s a bold statement and although not always a choice for men, gives them more masculinity to their image. If your bald, don’t cover it up. There are lots of women like myself who adore the look!

Angela Ross, Sandhurst Berkshire

At 49 my hair is still long and thick. I have the most negative comments about it from balding or bald males. Do I care – nah!

Martyn Hlman, York

Summary

In my world, having a full head of hair pales in comparison to having a full load of cash. Financial security renders the issue moot. And while having both is better, I have never once heard any woman complain about her husband’s hair loss when travelling on a private jet.

Furthermore, when assessing a dating candidate, most women I know look at a man’s financial shape, followed closely by his physical condition, and pretty much ignore the rest.

In the end, they just don’t care enough to make a difference. In fact, a little hair loss may be just what the doctor ordered as it will make whatever the woman feels a bit insecurely about balance the scales.

The “Old Man” and the Motorcycle

Nothing quite says midlife crisis like the Harley Davidson Motorcycle, right?

Another day, another stereotype.

I’m accused of being in the midst of one for many reasons, not least of which being that I have a young girlfriend.

1] It’s all about money.

2] He’s intimidated by women his own age.

3] He’s a narcissist who can stomach his own reflection.

yada yada …

It never ends.

Not to bury the lead, I don’t own a motorcycle – but I find it interesting on many levels.

For one thing, I like it’s group nature. It’s an activity – and for many, lifestyle – that people of all socioeconomic backgrounds can share.

And it’s also damn manly in the traditional sense most men think of it. Think Steve McQueen in The Great Escape.

I think of it as an antidote to the PC virus.

I’m also drawn to the sense of adventure, hanging out with a bunch of guys who, after decades of work, family and Little league, are finally able to bond once again over beer and broads.

It’s an adult rite of passage where the holy “hog” unlocks the key to death with dignity for all, the penultimate send-off into oblivion, finger in the wind at the Devil’s Crossroads.

Come on, tell me you’re not intrigued.

One last shot at youthful defiance.

Don’t tell me you don’t watch those old Zeppelin videos on YouTube in the dead of night.

A 2010 market study by J. D. Power & Associates discovered that the average motorcyclist in the United States is a man who is about 50 years old, and Forbes Magazine confirms that the “sweet spot” for motorcycle buyers is the mid 40s to the early 50s. The problem is especially acute for Harley Davidson, as the 109 year-old company has a customer base that is almost as old as it is. It may just be an urban legend that Harley handlebars are now designed to comfortably support a beer belly during a ride, but it makes sense, given the fact that most older men [not to mention younger men] are out of shape.

Nonetheless, “Google” searches turn up ad after ad of sexily clad young women and handsome, fit young men to fuel the fantasies of middle-aged guys. Motorcycle manufacturers lure older buyers with a promise of a return to their youth and vitality: Male bystanders watch with a mixture of respect and envy, as the women of the town are smitten by the eye candy rolling into town. The riders wink at the ladies and act like the masters of all that they beheld, since they could now afford the luxury of motoring slowly through town.

Yea, and everything else in the universe is also reduced to a cultural stereotype.

My point in all of this is, WHO CARES?

If a guy wants to ride a motorcycle after spending his life chasing the dollar let him have his 2nd Summer.

I agree that Harley’ are loud and obnoxious. So is my stereo system.

Getting older is a drag, folks. We’re gonna act out.

This is because there’s not a damn thing we can do about universal absolutes, so we will absolutely, positively garnish the journey to make the ride smoother.

I might add that many guys ride for charities, raising lots of money for good causes. Others just for the hell of it. So what?

These guys are tough enough to deflect your punchlines, ageist stereotypes, and general ridicule.

Time Magazine in June of 2014, wrote “It’s bike night at the Harley-Davidson Museum near downtown Milwaukee . . . bike night in Milwaukee sure looks like Old White Guy’s Night.”

Green with envy.

~~~

Life is supposed to have a beginning, a middle and an end. The same ones, usually.

But for many, myself included, the story arcs are backwards.

Alpha Woman Blues

Excerpt from #urbandystrophy, the book:

Some unpleasant facts:

“[Successful] Men do not give a crap how successful a woman is. This is why you see very successful men marrying bartenders, flight attendants, and spin class instructors. What do we call the very tiny percentage of men who do care? Gold-diggers.

Women do care how successful a man is. This does not make them gold-diggers, unlike men who feel the same way.

These two basics mean this: (1) The more successful a man becomes, the greater his choices are when it comes to women, since he can date any level of successful woman, and (2) the more successful a woman becomes, the lesser her choices are when it comes to men, since she wants to date a man at least close to her in success.

A successful man can choose from you and a billion other women, and as a successful woman, you can only choose from less than 1% of men.

Men love very feminine women, and often equate successful women’s “power” with masculine energy, much as most men see female bodybuilders as having the same. Is this fair? I don’t say. All is fair in love and war to the victor, and none to the vanquished. This is why you don’t find so many single “caregivers”—nurses, waitresses, child care workers, and so on.

How does a woman get around this? She marries in grad school or newly-minted. At that point, a man still sees her as feminine. They have kids, and bind/bond together. Some of these relationships last even when the woman develops that same powerful masculine energy, and some do not. Finding a non-gold-digging man, after developing this masculine energy, is almost impossible.

You need to understand that men are not “intimidated” by you and your friends. They are simply not attracted to you.

Finally, your comment that your single, successful male friends were “having too much fun” to marry says it all—even though I managed to “date” (read “sleep with”) plenty of beautiful girls and women, I was beyond thrilled to meet a woman my own age at 34—who I married—and find a best friend I respect to spend my life with. My life went from “having fun” to living life. We are childless by choice—”child-free”—and continue to travel on our voyage of creative projects and leisure.

You made choices, and you should accept them. Blaming men for being “intimidated” is bullshit. You have simply become someone that men don’t particularly want to hook up with, compared to a nurturing, feminine waitress.

Hope this helped and that you can accept a nice gold-digger into your life—there is NOTHING wrong with that. Men do it all the time, and find happiness.” Anonymous

~~~

To be fair, older men in the absence of money are in the same boat.

We both need something to sell.

Again, it’s all in Urban Dystrophy.

The Cure for Existential Angst, Guaranteed.

Three years ago my trainer stitched this together this little as a reminder to me that aging doesn’t always follow a predictable path, that it is possible to slow it all down — including the fading relevance older men often feel when they can no longer throw a baseball without looking like an ex-president during one of those ceremonial first pitches.

Life only wins when you fade, not when you die. j.r.

Can You Spot a 21st Century Gold Digger? I Doubt It.

Couple of nice girls just looking for love…

A few buds out for a game and shot at a vacation on someone else’s dime…

It cuts both ways.

“In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.”
― Charles Darwin

Here are two articles you might find interesting:

http://nypost.com/2014/04/16/can-you-spot-gold-digger/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/larissafaw/2015/07/28/watch-out-ladies-millennial-men-are-gold-diggers/#5b768b19646a

Gold-digging [aka prostitution] has been around for the entire length and breath of human history.

The problem today, however, is that motive is no longer obvious. In fact, it’s evolved in stealth to what many consider an art form…where PhD level courses will soon be necessary to decode the tell-tale subtleties and innuendo.

~~~

POINTS OF INTEREST on GOLD-DIGGING [in general]

1] Gold diggers are such a problem in NYC, one woman has set up an agency that proclaims it will weed them out.

2] Cautious men need to know that women they’re interested in have jobs with sizable incomes [six figures is expected], be independent and live alone.

3] Successful women seek out equally successful men because, like men, they expect a “perfect 10” for their efforts.

4] “Millennial males are less likely than males of the Gen X and Boomer generations to equate romance with happiness,” says Denise Delahorne, SVP Group Strategy Director, DDB US.

5] “Overall, they [Millennial males] are a group of people who believe they are better than other people, and their own happiness and well being takes precedence over the needs of others.”

6] “Millennials overall, and Millennial men in particular, are more likely to think their own happiness is more important than the happiness of others Millennials overall, and Millennial men in particular, are also more likely to think that they deserve to be famous and hope to be famous one day.”

7] “I think we can’t lose sight of the fact that this is a generation that grew up at a time when attitudes about marriage and divorce really changed.”

8] “...we certainly can’t ignore the fact that they [Millennial men] feel that they can always get out of the marriage if they want to — and this is certainly something that we see frequently in popular culture.”

9] Millennial men are also more likely to want to have a prenuptial agreement than males of other generations (32% vs. 25% of Gen X males and 17% of Boomer males) perhaps because they are more likely to be viewing marriage as a financial/contractual arrangement as much as a romantic partnership.

10] There are five million members on SeekingArrangement. Overall, the site has 3.8 million Sugar Babies, and 12% are male: 460,000. Moreover, this is an 84% jump in male Sugar Baby membership from the start of 2014.

ACCORDING TO THE POST ARTICLE, HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO SPOT A GOLD-DIGGER

Matchmaker Janis Spindel asks ladies looking to date her high-end male clients to pen a 2,500-word bio and fill out an extensive questionnaire. Here are her five rules for spotting a gold digger:

1. A woman who is obsessed with dating a successful man — and knowing what his salary is.

2. A lack of a job is a telltale sign a woman is looking for someone to support her. “Women must have [jobs],” says Spindel. “It gives them a sense of confidence, allows them to support themselves and keeps them busy during the day.”

3. She complains about Spindel’s fee of $1,000 for a one-on-one meeting.

4. A woman who makes unreasonable demands: “If they tell me they must date a man with a plane, I say ‘Sayonara.’”

5. A lady who asks the wrong questions: “When they ask me how many homes my client has, they’re inquiring for the wrong reasons.”

COMMENTS

These points are all far too obvious, as most successful gold-diggers could pass a polygraph with flying colors.

FINAL COMMENTS

How did we get here?

Millennials say feminism is the root of the problem.

They tell me…

1] Women are waiting longer before marriage and children…so they’re no settling down.

2] They also have strong career motives, which they also expect of their mates.

3] They feel entitled to the same sexual freedom as men, which yields a new world man with a vagina.

So what’s the incentive for young women to date young men?

Nothing, really.

Unless, of course, it’s just sex, in which case they need an online alias if they want to protect their reputations and high-end jobs from blackmail and other forms of extortion.

~~~

In closing, here are some passages from my new book, Urban Dystrophy, currently selling like hotcakes on Amazon.

A FEW KEY FACTS TO MALE BABY-BOOMERS OF A CERTAIN SOCIOECONOMIC DEMOGRAPHIC

When you’re twenty-five, women who seriously date you do so for your looks, personality, education, and ability to earn (or somehow, inherit).

When you’re fifty, women who resemble the ones you dated at twenty-five (because they are twenty-five) do so for the perceived security you are able to provide them—both financial and emotional—coupled with a predisposition towards generosity.

Gold diggers flourish in big cities where there are few predators and an abundant food source. Please do not confuse the metaphor.

Watch out for three vulnerabilities they look to target—frustration, boredom, and privilege—the same ingredients necessary to transform a corporate executive with a Harvard MBA into a blackmail statistic.

It doesn’t matter how many boards you sit on, how many ex-wives you have, or how much your children love you. When everything falls apart, including your children, gold-diggers only care about your financial condition.

Remember that women interested in the likes of you operate in survival mode. While it has been postulated that some possess feelings that border on empathy—particularly towards their young, and in some instances, their spouses—survival still hinges on instinct.

You may live in a large urban area because you enjoy the culture, shopping experience, and fine dining, but you’re also a line item on someone else’s balance sheet.

Every man like you with a penchant for youth and beauty will inevitably meet a woman anxious to exploit him.

Men never grow up. If they did, gold-diggers would go extinct.

In case you’re wondering, the same rules apply to women when approaching a male member of this group. It’s a gender-neutral career path.

In exchange for a certain lifestyle, gold-diggers are prepared to barter whatever they have in exchange for whatever they don’t. While this may sound cold and calculating in the context of “love,” some of the country’s most celebrated philanthropists were once strippers, showgirls, and Pilates instructors. (No offense to Pilates instructors.)

Dennis Quaid at 61

http://www.tmz.com/2016/01/05/dennis-quaid-abs-photo/

Dennis Quaid is 6’0″, #175 at what looks to be well below 10% body fat.

By comparison, I’m 6’1″, #230 at 13% body fat, which places me in the top 1% of my age group.

Most people consider this extraordinarily fit.

But I’m not shredded like a slab of turkey jerky, and herein lies the rub.

See, in order to put on – and hold – lean muscle mass at less then 10% body fat [at age 61!], you’ll need help of the preternatural kind.

To wit, Quaid has more lean, angular mass on his shoulders and arms than any man his age can normally produce without “help.”

I’m not accusing him of steroid use because I don’t know him. Maybe he’s a genetic freak. I’ve seen a few in my day.

For everyone else, pulling off tons of lean mass with low body fat is impossible without tinkering with testosterone levels.

What? You think we’re immortal?

Since when do men our age look like Quaid?

Some of you may consider him too lean, too small…kind of ragged, wasted even.

But for men who want this look, it can be acquired at “wellness” clinics and individual physicians operating throughout the United States.

REALITY

1] If you want to perform at levels similar to what you achieved at age 30, you will need a lot more than hard work coupled with a hope and a prayer.

2] I’m not judging, just exposing the truth.

3] You have to decide if the consequences of steroid use are worth the risks.

4] Denial is the mother of delusion.

5] I don’t care how Dennis Quaid chooses to live his life. His job is to entertain, not inspire.

Just trying to keep it real around here.

Rich Men Prefer Skinny Women: New Research Exposé

Ss I stated many times before [on this blog], wealthy women prefer to date their financial equals and those withing a few years of their age.

Men? Not so much [on either count].

According to researchers at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., a new study to be published in the January 2016 edition of the peer-reviewed academic journal “Personality and Individual Differences,” validates what I have always believed, that men with more education had strong preferences for female partners who were “good looking,” “slender,” and “younger.” Some 95% of men with an advanced degree said it was “essential” that their partner was “good looking” versus 77% of those with a high school education or less, and 84% of those men said it was essential that their partner was slender versus just 12% of those with a high school education or less.

So what does it all mean?

A depressing confirmation of the worst gender stereotypes that suggests the dating game has not progressed much in the last 100 years? And maybe 1000 if you want to get technical about it.

Using an example from the animal kingdom, “Female bower birds select males with the nicest nest, and in many insects, the female selects a male who offers her a nice gift of prey he has captured.”

Translation: Women prefer nice neighborhoods with swimming pools, just like insects.

Furthermore men prefer slender bodies, which are associated with youth.

As the body’s metabolism slows as one grows older and, slender physiques could represent fertility for men.

I might also add that, beyond the specter of fertility, slender women look better in Chanel and are easier to physically dominate, which is a big deal for many.

The study may help people understand why the advertising industry (and society) puts so much emphasis on women being thin. And it may also throw light on why men strive so aggressively for higher income and assertively negotiate for raises.

Their income clearly affects not only their ability to pay for dates but also their likelihood of attracting a beautiful young, slender partner who looks good in Chanel.

As we all know, men are more visual than women and women have a stronger need to be taken care of both emotionally and financially.

So people with desirable traits are in a position to be more selective.

The study found that both genders reported nearly equally that being with someone physically attractive “to them” is important, which is at least hopeful because it allows for physical imperfections — not the unattainable physical flawlessness we’re bombarded with every day in the media.

Nonetheless, I have seen men with more money than God check each and every line item and then choose the more perfect human female the planet has ever witnessed. Of course, what people want and what they actually get are two different things.
If, for example, a man wants a physically flawless woman with a warm heart, he usually gets only one of them. There’s only so much you can expect from a mating dynamic based on a cold-blooded exchange of commodities.

REAL WORLD PREFERENCES OF AFFLUENT OLDER MEN AND THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES:

1] Slender women are preferred because they look best in designer apparel.

2] Slender women are preferred because they look better educated, and thus, more sophisticated.

3] Slender women are preferred because they are easy to physically dominate.

4] Slender women are preferred because in more sophisticated circles, image is everything.

5] Slender women are preferred because the chances of them becoming obese down the road are far less probable.

Notice I didn’t mention anything whatsoever about character.

This is because men with money assume that women who crave it will just fall in line.

And while they appear to do just that, their reasons for doing have more to do with attracting even wealthier men who expect the same thing.

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