According to New Study, We Need to Ditch the Jeans…WHEN?!?

But according to a new study by British company CollectPlus, there’s an age at which we should find a new way to be stylish.

And that age … is 53.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/fashion/are-you-ever-too-old-to-wear-jeans-study-says-yes-and-the-age-is/ar-AAjMMUM?li=BBnbfcL

Their thesis is that shopping for new pairs past this age isn’t worth the trouble, because one in 10 half-centurions try on six pairs and spend five days looking just to find one pair that fits.

Of course, I know men half my age who try on ten times that number and still come up empty-handed, particularly if they workout.

Nonetheless, the article claims that the process is so traumatic that 6 percent reportedly burst into tears.

To be frank, I don’t know a single woman or man any age who doesn’t experience some degree of trauma when trying on jeans.

Most of it has to do with dressing room lighting.

The rest involves a designer’s idea of exactly who they want to wear their jeans, which may not involve you.

The key to a successful shopping experience is to rule out body dysmorphia and/or a lack of self-actualization, which most therapists are capable of addressing.

Once you get past that you can wear whatever the hell you want.

But you’ll still have to deal with the crappy overhead fluorescent lighting…even at high end retailers.

Why they do this is beyond me.

The Often Overlooked Differences Between Youth and Middle Age

Any one of these people could have rolled out of bed 10 minutes ago.

If any of these people rolled out of bed 10 minutes ago instead of several hours ago after hair and make-up for this photo shoot, they’d frighten children.

~~~

Last night we went attending the opening of a new art gallery in Houston.

No big deal, right?

Hardly.

But before I get into this, allow me to offer some perspective.

When I was 25, going out was a straight line between the thought and the front door: I put on some clothes and walked out knowing I looked presentable no matter what I looked like.

If I hadn’t combed my hair, it probably looked better than it would if I spent an hour in front of the mirror with sprays and gels.

My skin was, you know, young, my jawline sharp. Rarely did I see bloodshot eyes no matter what I did to myself the night before.

And by the way, there also wasn’t a single, solitary hair anyplace other than where it was from the time I was 14.

In short, I was ripe for breeding.

Then time passed…and I didn’t die.

Some say we linger no matter what we actually do, but to the point: I was no longer able to do what I didn’t have to do back in the day.

No, this is not what you want to hear, I get it. Believe me, I know. But we’re here and this is what we have to deal with if we want to, you know, linger.

Now lingering is also relative, so there’s some hope if you’re willing – and/or able – to read between the lines.

For example, people are not static images on a two-dimensional page, so there’s that.

In reality, there’s money and experience and a whole lot of other stuff that creates a composite that often acts as a carbon credit against physical attrition.

But no matter what an older adult has in their favor, they cannot escape an aging appearance, which requires propping up every step of the way in order to maintain some degree of objective attractiveness.

Some things are simply not subjective no matter how you spin the narrative.

So how does all of this translate?

1] Dentists handle our teeth, which, of course, involves regular cleanings – but also crowns, veneers, whitening, bonding…and root canals to name a few more.

2] Then there’s the hair-where-it-doesn’t-belong thing. We either visit a stylist [usually the case with women], or we do it ourselves, with often catastrophic results.

3] Did I mention diet? Yea, if you want to make it into your 50’s without type-2 diabetes and/or every other imaginable health problem, you have to eat clean, with the exception of one “cheat” meal per week.

4] You have to get plenty of sleep, and I mean 8 hours of sleep each and every night if you plan to remember your mother’s name.

5] You will be forced to conform to a certain set of standards required of adults in nice neighborhoods.

For example:

a] You cannot walk out of your home bare-chested, or in a wife beater, or in your underwear without being branded clinically insane and an imminent danger to neighborhood children.

b] You cannot punch out your neighbor for being noisy on a Sunday morning. Instead you will contact your HOA or local police and let them handle it for you.

c] You will abstain from contentious remarks or unnecessary cursing, lest you be excluded from HOA meetings that will now involve discussion about what to do about you.

6] You will stay in reasonable shape, which your personal trainer will help ensure.

7] If your wife or girlfriend is significantly younger than you, expect not to invited to social functions involving age-appropriate wives.

8] Nobody cares if you’re a member of the LGBT community as long as your home and lawn are well manicured.

9] If you own a vehicle not on the acceptable vehicle list, you will be labelled curious, and usually outright dismissed.

a] Acceptable adult vehicles include, Range Rover, Lexus, Porsche, Chevrolet Yukons and Suburbans, Mini, Audi, BMW, Jaguar, Maserati, Ferrari and classic muscle cars in pristine condition. I may have missed one or two, but you get my point. Lamborghini is considered white trash no matter how much money you have.

b] Vehicles on the kill list included any late model muscle car and Econoline vans.

10] Finally [for the moment] you must know the law. If not, you can and will be sued for anything and everything imaginable, including everything.

a] Understand that many affluent people are bored out of their minds, particularly if they’re in bad physical shape, hate their wives, or suffer clinical depression stemming from fading relevance, leaving them staring down the barrel of destiny. Thus, always be considerate of others, understand that you live in a neighborhood of which you are a member [not a king], and abide by the statutes set forth by your home owner’s association. While your kids can do pretty much anything they want, leveraging youth against bad behavior, the buck will always stop with you.

Yes, I know, getting older can be a friggin’ nightmare, but it’s not without its perks.

I’ll elaborate in my next installment.

‘Dad Bod’ Coming to a Store Near You!

Mattel’s new ‘Dad Bod’ doll…

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3425007/Where-s-Dad-Bod-Ken-Twitter-calls-plastic-doll-beer-belly-Mattel-s-curvy-new-Barbie-unveiled.html

One of the many sacrifices we health-oriented older men make is the enjoyment of eating bad things that taste good.

To us, food is fuel. Nothing more.

I know. Depressing, right?

Not really.

See, the payoff is not looking [and feeling] like a Mattel ‘Dad Bod’ doll.

For those of you who don’t already know, ‘Dad Bod’ is the physical representation of what the typical middle-aged man looks like.

Of course, I don’t know any of these people personally because I live in a big city.

Here, pot bellies constitute Class-A misdemeanors, punishable by hard time at a “wellness” center that specializes in testosterone implants, orals and injectables, coupled with psychiatric counseling for clinical depression.

However, in smaller places where appearance and good health are secondary to gluttony and death in slow motion, being too fit after a certain age is a Class-A felony.

Rich Men Prefer Skinny Women: New Research Exposé

Ss I stated many times before [on this blog], wealthy women prefer to date their financial equals and those withing a few years of their age.

Men? Not so much [on either count].

According to researchers at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., a new study to be published in the January 2016 edition of the peer-reviewed academic journal “Personality and Individual Differences,” validates what I have always believed, that men with more education had strong preferences for female partners who were “good looking,” “slender,” and “younger.” Some 95% of men with an advanced degree said it was “essential” that their partner was “good looking” versus 77% of those with a high school education or less, and 84% of those men said it was essential that their partner was slender versus just 12% of those with a high school education or less.

So what does it all mean?

A depressing confirmation of the worst gender stereotypes that suggests the dating game has not progressed much in the last 100 years? And maybe 1000 if you want to get technical about it.

Using an example from the animal kingdom, “Female bower birds select males with the nicest nest, and in many insects, the female selects a male who offers her a nice gift of prey he has captured.”

Translation: Women prefer nice neighborhoods with swimming pools, just like insects.

Furthermore men prefer slender bodies, which are associated with youth.

As the body’s metabolism slows as one grows older and, slender physiques could represent fertility for men.

I might also add that, beyond the specter of fertility, slender women look better in Chanel and are easier to physically dominate, which is a big deal for many.

The study may help people understand why the advertising industry (and society) puts so much emphasis on women being thin. And it may also throw light on why men strive so aggressively for higher income and assertively negotiate for raises.

Their income clearly affects not only their ability to pay for dates but also their likelihood of attracting a beautiful young, slender partner who looks good in Chanel.

As we all know, men are more visual than women and women have a stronger need to be taken care of both emotionally and financially.

So people with desirable traits are in a position to be more selective.

The study found that both genders reported nearly equally that being with someone physically attractive “to them” is important, which is at least hopeful because it allows for physical imperfections — not the unattainable physical flawlessness we’re bombarded with every day in the media.

Nonetheless, I have seen men with more money than God check each and every line item and then choose the more perfect human female the planet has ever witnessed. Of course, what people want and what they actually get are two different things.
If, for example, a man wants a physically flawless woman with a warm heart, he usually gets only one of them. There’s only so much you can expect from a mating dynamic based on a cold-blooded exchange of commodities.

REAL WORLD PREFERENCES OF AFFLUENT OLDER MEN AND THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES:

1] Slender women are preferred because they look best in designer apparel.

2] Slender women are preferred because they look better educated, and thus, more sophisticated.

3] Slender women are preferred because they are easy to physically dominate.

4] Slender women are preferred because in more sophisticated circles, image is everything.

5] Slender women are preferred because the chances of them becoming obese down the road are far less probable.

Notice I didn’t mention anything whatsoever about character.

This is because men with money assume that women who crave it will just fall in line.

And while they appear to do just that, their reasons for doing have more to do with attracting even wealthier men who expect the same thing.

Do’s and Don’ts for Men Over 50 [According to the WWW]

Pooled from the WWW come the do’s and don’ts for older men, not that anyone pays attention to any of it…myself included.

Nonetheless – because I’m asked about it all the freaking time – I offer you the list:

APPROPRIATE:

1] Dye hair

Note: I started dying my hair at 18 and still do. Nobody cares.

2] Hair trimming

Note: I had to Google this. I assume it’s similar to a haircut.

3] Leather jackets

Note: I have 23, but only wear 6 of them.

4] Cardigans

Note: I had to Google this one just to see Mr. Rogers.

5] Sweater vests

Note: See #4.

6] Hair replacement

Note: No big deal. Many men I know do touch-ups on the hairline, some on their eyebrows.

7] Graphic tees

Note: Right on.

8] Cowboy boots

Note: Sure. But not in my closet.

9] Biker boots

Note: I have 5 pairs.

10] Get an annual physical

Note: Who doesn’t get an annual physical?

11] Dress for comfort

Note: In other words, dress like a teenager when we feel like it? I do it all the time.

12] Own and wear more than one pair of jeans

Note: I’ve lost count.

13] Use moisturizer

Note: I have so many damn products I have to use a Magic Marker on the products to remind myself of the order in which to use them.

14] Date women close to their age

Note: Seriously? The last time I dated someone close to my age was when I was a teenager. My girlfriend at the time was 17, which is 11 years younger than the woman I currently date.

15] Wear a good watch

Note: I don’t wear a watch, but have no problem with people who do.

16] Embrace baldness

Note: Embrace baldness if not embracing it means lacquered comb-overs and baseball caps that people begin to suspect are sewn into your scalp.

17] Be a silver fox and let gray go

Note: With enough money nobody will notice the color of your hair anyway.

18] Occasional jewelry besides wedding band

Note: Some men can pull off wearing a lot of jewelry. Others can’t. If you know yourself you know where you stand.

19] Sandals, no socks

Note: How about no sandals, period?

20] Flip flops

Note: See #19.

21] Baseball caps

Note: Sure. Why not? Just not all the time, unless you’re The Edge, in which case it’s totally fine.

22] Converse type sneakers

Note: If you don’t own Converse sneakers, I’d see a therapist.

NOT APPROPRIATE:

1] Spray tan

Note: What they’re referring to, I assume, is something along the lines of George Hamilton, so no.

2] Have/grow a soul patch

Note: I once had a soul patch, then I didn’t, then I did. Billy Bob Thornton looks good with one, but I’m still on the fence about mine.

3] Face-lift/mini face-lift

Note: If it looks natural, why not? Over-indulgence never goes unnoticed, and not in a good way.

4] Wax eyebrows for shape

Note: Finally, I agree.

5] Wax chest, back, legs or armpits

Note: Agree. Shaving it all is less painful.

6] Brow lift

Note: Why the hell not? See #3.

7] eyelid surgery

Note: I actually knew someone who’s eyelids were blinding him, so he had them lifted. See #3.

~~~

Obviously, all of this is complete crap.

Nobody cares what others think about what they do but themselves.

This notwithstanding, it either works or it doesn’t.

The good news is that it won’t take long for you to hear about it if it doesn’t.

John Varvatos Sparks Revolution in Fashion Nostalgia

John Varvatos was born February 1, 1966, which means he missed the Baby Boom by 2 years.

Note: Baby Boom lasted from 1946-1964.

This notwithstanding, he captures the spirit of my generation better than any designer in memory. Period.

~~~

As I gotten older I seem to grow closer to my roots.

I guess it’s true what they say about early impressions being the strongest.

Most therapists would be willing to corroborate this for $200.00, by the way.

Anyway, my deepest passions were those rooted in music, specifically, rock ‘n’ roll.

Why this is I don’t know, because while others were off playing soccer, I sat in dark rooms with electric guitars and vinyl records, playing and replaying Clapton licks, among others.

My dorm room was plastered with glossy posters of Ozzy, Zeppelin, The Who, Cream, Hendrix and other musical gods of the day.

Empty packs of guitar strings were scattered all over the place, picks even worse.

I think it’s safe to say my adolescence was experienced through the fulcrum of music.

Then time passed, decades, and here I find myself with the same music, the same string and keyed instruments, and library of music I can’t live without.

So one day I’m walking through The Galleria in Houston when I happen upon the new John Varvatos store.

Feeling transported back to a place where it all started is to grossly understate the experience.

Joplin’s “Down On Me” was in the air, rock biographies neatly stacked on shelves under framed film photographs of rock stars.

…and the clothing!

Wow.

Seriously?

Could this really be?

Did I actually find my long lost home in the world of John Varvatos?

At this writing my closet looks like his showroom, with a few exceptions, very few.

Once I got my hands on those threads 90% of my clothing went the way of the wind.

Finally a designer was channeling the same vibe.

Though my career has been spent as a photographer and writer, nothing keeps me more tethered to myself than music.

Obviously, I’m not alone.

Brilliant ad. Generations merged.

Elder Statesman, Rod Stewart, Enjoying Life, Love and Relevance at 70

The most successful homegrown solo star of all time, worth upwards of £350 million, Stewart has enjoyed 31 hit singles, a dozen of which, including Maggie May, You’re In My Heart, Sailing, Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?, Baby Jane and The First Cut Is The Deepest, are incontestable classics.

Yea, he missed the Baby Boom Gen by 1 year, but most of us “youngster” Boomers still consider him a member of the club.

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/home/event/article-3264865/Rod-Stewart-Viagra-money-music-Madonna-sex-70.html

Rod Stewart does not require introduction. You already know who he is, what he’s done, what he thinks about beautiful women, wine and song.

He is, for all intents and purposes, the very definition of relevance for a man who just turned 70.

How does he do it, keep going the way he does, feeling so alive?

1] He is fueled by a vast array of success that has paved the way for healthy self-esteem at his stage of life.

Note: There is a direct correlation between self esteem and perceived accomplishment.

2] He is happily married to a beautiful young woman who has had his back for over 2 decades.

Note: There is a direct correlation between a happy family life and longevity.

3] He continues to work, to produce to be engaged in life from every angle imaginable: Music, family, sports, car collecting, real estate…etc…

Note: The moment a man retires, his descent escalates.

4] He stay fit and healthy with help from a personal trainer, and watches his alcohol consumption, which at one time was plenty enough to sink a battleship.

Note: Maintaining physical health is one of life’s great challenges for older men, and also it’s most rewarding.

5] He appreciates where he is in life and maintains balance.

Note: Balance is key to a long, healthy life. Without it you’re just a rat on a wheel.

~~~

I know that many of you will say “Yea, I’m sure it is nice being a rich rock star with homes on several continents. No surprise he’s doing well!”

Points taken.

But many extraordinarily successful rock stars overdosed before their 30th birthdays.

Is Izabel Goulart the Preferred Female Physique of the Successful Older Man?

Victoria’s Secret model, Izabel Goulart, 30, 5’9,” 117 lbs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3250622/Supermodel-Izabel-Goulart-puts-cheeky-display-tiny-bikini-frolics-beach-Rio-Janeiro.html

Disclaimer: What older men claim to prefer in terms of physical proportion in women –– and what they actually crave behind closed door are often two entirely different things.

This aside, according to the vast – and I mean VAST – majority of affluent older men I happen to know, the preference is “skinny and proportionate” like Ms. Goulart [above].

In fact, this look has become so ingrained in this upper echelon demographic that every woman exhibits symptoms of an eating disorder.

But why exactly do such men choose skinny women over what every poll ever conducted in the history of mankind has indicted: a preference for curves?

Top 6 Reasons:

#1] They’re “safe.”

Skinny is the safe choice. No one will put you down for choosing a thin woman.

The are no “saddlebags” references or related vitriol likely to embarrass and man who wants the world to see his conquest on an existential plane.

#2] Easy to physically maneuver, mostly in bed.

Fem-bigot-ageist narrative suggests that men prefer skinny women because they are easier to physically dominate.

While this is certainly true, one must also understand that older men are less inclined to make sex a full-on workout, so the more a woman can do the better.

#3] The smaller they are, the bigger “you” are.

As every man who sleeps with women knows, the bigger they are the smaller “you” look.

Conversely, the smaller they are, the more you resemble a porn star.

I’ve heard men say that a drop in just 10 pounds can add a full inch in both length and girth.

On a related note, men report that with skinny women they can penetrate deeper because there are no “fat ass cheeks or thighs to work around.”

And while I have little experience in this regard, it does make sense from the standpoint of basic physics.

#4] Look great in designer apparel, or anything else for that matter.

As one man put it, “I have dated a few tall skinny model types, and there is absolutely a feeling of “Winning” with one by your side. I have precious little use for social standing at this point in my life but it is a nice, unique perk.”

Such women are born and bred for fashion, which is why they go to Gucci instead of Target.

Their commodity value hinges on their ability to morph into whatever a man of the world envisions his mate to look like, particularly in public.

And because their frames of reference are all the same, their women tend to resemble one another.

#5] Good future prospects of maintaining desirable weight.

Like any investment, men are looking at all aspects of an acquisition, longevity being one of them.

If he builds a house today, will it be just as attractive 20 years from now?

So while “curvy” women may be fun for many in the bedroom, skinnier ones hold up better for long-term relationships and/or marriage

#6] They just look smarter and more sophisticated.

While superior intelligence has no basis in truth, skinny women just look smarter.

They certainly understand affluent older men.

Of course, the same applies to prostitutes.

Want to be a “Cool” Older Man? Start With the Right Attire.

By popular demand, I’m going to share with you what I consider to be kick ass looks for men in their 50’s and 60’s.

Many of you have hit a second stride.

You want to start going out, meeting new people…making the right impressions.

You’ve done all the hard work getting here, including staying in top physical condition, so it’s now or never to make that second stand.

PROBLEM #1: While you were out making money, raising a family, and spending whatever free time you had with your grammar school buddies at the Bushwood Country Club, you forgot that there was life outside.

PROBLEM #2: While your wife may claim to be perfectly happy with you just the way you are, you may not agree.

There are several interesting reasons for the later, but I’ll leave that to another blog.

~~~

A few more regrettable – but fixable – facts:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2424325/Men-appearance-age-46–women-work-looks-decade.html

~~~

First, we’re going to start with the three P’s.

They are your…

1] Physical condition

If you’re obese, you’ll look like a Mardi Gras float in whatever you wear. You don’t have to be an Adonis, but you do have to get beyond the ONE SIZE FITS ALL category.

2] Posture

So let’s say you r are an Adonis, bad posture will obliterate all your gains in a heartbeat. Remember, shoulders back. Walk tall and be a man worth his salt.

Only rich oligarchs get away with bad posture because they’re only surrounded by the people they employ, mostly showgirls.

3] Presentation and/or style

What you wear speaks volumes.

As the old saying goes, “presentation, presentation, presentation…”

First impressions are usually the last impressions you will ever make in life.

~~~

With this behind us, what I will present to you are 3 completely different looks, each with 3 examples of clothing choices ranging from casual to formal attire – all of which play well in large urban settings, including all of them.

I’m sure that somewhere in all of this you can find yourselves all over again.

CATEGORY ONE: BAD BOY CHIC [aka, kiss my ass]

CATEGORY TWO: SMART CONSERVATIVE [say what you want, you country club guys wish you looked this good]

CATEGORY THREE: STYLISH ECCENTRIC

~~~

BAD BOYS

Daytime, hanging out, being the bad ass that you are.

Smart casual, out to dinner.

Show up to a fundraiser in this and you get a gold star.

SMART CONSERVATIVE

Daytime, hanging out at “Bushwood” overlooking the greens.

Casual look, out to dinner.

Formal, well done.

STYLISH ECCENTRIC

You could probably make a down payment on a house for the cost of what this dude’s wearing, but he does pull it off well. Daytime, nighttime, anytime he feels like it.

He doesn’t care what you think, but he knows you’re curious.

Great twists on traditional themes.

For more styling ideas, check out this page: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/older-mens-fashion/

You might also save yourself a lot of trouble and just visit John Varvatos: https://www.johnvarvatos.com/

~~~

SUMMARY

I know that many of you are uncomfortable stepping out of your comfort zones.

It’s tough to be an individual when you’ve spent your entire life fitting in, being accepted.

But some of you have had enough of the bullshit and are now ready to step out of the box.

Congratulations.

It takes courage to finally be who you are at midlife and beyond.

For many midlife is a period of rebirth.

This is what rebirth should look like.

November 2024
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