Billy Joel and Alexis Roderick in surprise 4th of July wedding.
Folks, it doesn’t matter what the difference in age – or any of the other line items to which we’re supposed to adhere in order to have normal, well-adjusted relationships].
Love finds us wherever we happen to be standing at any given moment.
Be ready for whatever the hell it looks like.
Ronnie Wood, 67, Sally Humphreys, 36
I’ve been in a May-December relationship for the past 4 1/2 years.
Like other relationships over the course of my lifetime, it has its ups and downs.
The fact that my girlfriend is, let’s just say, decades younger does not mean that I’m hoarding a slave, manipulating and controlling a psychiatric outpatient, or buying pills for a dependent drug addict.
It may be the other way around, but I digress.
I’m in a relationship with someone much younger than myself because someone I happened to find attractive felt the same way.
There are so many misconceptions to blatant prejudice based upon ignorance and/or projection tied to insecurity, mostly on the part of older women who consider this sort of thing a sacrilege, and therefore, grounds for open season.
But as you’ll see, I’ve also dated “age-appropriate.”
When I was 18 years old, my girlfriend was 17, and yet we still broke up after a couple of months!
When I was 28, my girlfriend was 19. We lasted a year and a half.
By the time I reached 45, my 30-year-old girlfriend and I lasted two and a half years!
As you can see, there was clearly a correlation between age disparity and perpetuity.
As the article points out, guys like me never feel our age, so maybe we all come to a place of acceptance where we learn to embrace who we really are, and allow ourselves to be hunted down like dogs and held hostage by beautiful young women.
You can think of it as a disability if it makes you feel better.
Do I feel exploited? Yes.
Have my urges obliterated all semblance of reason? Yes.
Am I complaining? No.
I’ve learned that how I feel inside my skin eventually manifests externally.
Thus, I’m still in my 20’s along with my girlfriend.
Finally, I learned the true meaning of acceptance, and so should you.
https://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/richard-gere-65-cuddles-alejandra-202600712.html
As usual, the narrative is not about a celebrity dating someone new.
It’s about Richard Gere dating a woman half his age as if the guy has some friggin’ personality disorder.
If so, hats off to psychopathology.
Generally speaking, this is a fat-assed nation.
But it’s not the nation I spend my time around.
Most women I know are smart enough to see the correlation between good looks and nicer neighborhoods.
No wonder they all look alike.
Socialite Fraudster Edward Davenport [Google him]
When you’re young and beautiful, the world can kiss your ass.
You have nothing to prove that isn’t already obvious, which is plenty enough.
But as you get older and your sense of self-worth [as a man] is tied largely to your lifelong accomplishments [including the ones in your own head], the prospect of fading “relevance” becomes terrifying.
Now what?
This juncture marks the onset of what I refer to as the narcissists crucible, “a place of occasion or test of severe trial” where anything can, and usually will manifest in order to keep the boat from sinking like a jackhammer.
Note: The following is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. It just seems like it does.
My name is Aristotle “Ari” Lazarov of Monaco, and I am a clinical narcissist. My 5th wife, Christina, is my enabler. Together we have 12 children.
Note: What I narcissists would admit so I wouldn’t have to run an intervention on their delusions.
I have a wonderful relationship with all my ex-wives because it behooves social climbers to keep their mouths shut.
Needless to say, they have nothing to stand on without party invitations, and therefore, everything to lose.
Note: He should know.
I am an extraordinarily good-looking man in spite of my age [which changes every 5 minutes, or just stays where it is for years at a time].
Note: Narcissists never fail to compliment themselves.
I dine at the right restaurants, drive the right cars, belong to the right clubs, know the right people, and wear acceptable designer apparel recognized by people who know and appreciate the finer things in life.
Note: He never wears anything that people who host photo-op-worthy cocktail parties and fundraisers might find distasteful, since party invitations are the lifeblood of his existence.
I stay in top physical condition through regular workouts with my personal trainer. I also maintain healthy eating habits, and take herbal testosterone that replenishes everything stolen by age, about which I remain in denial.
Note: It’s a simple equation, really.
I have a home in Houston, an apartment in NYC, and a family compound outside Paris.
Note: Doesn’t everyone?
The other specifics of my life are up to you and your imagination. If I’ve been successful, you’ll imagine big.
Note: The narcissist stays light on the details and heavy on innuendo to keep the fantasies alive long after death, which is just as important as life in most cases.
~~~
My name is Christina Lazarov, wife to my handsome and successful husband, Aristotle.
Note: I’m an enabler, remember?
Whatever my last name used to be is irrelevant because my life back then was irrelevant […not that it doesn’t haunt me in the middle of the night when I remember feeling something rather than nothing at all].
Note: This is something she should have broached in therapy, but because therapists lean in the direction of healing, she found a Pilates instructor.
Now my world is glamorous [pretentious], transcendent [privileged], and blissful [spaced-out], as everyone who’s anyone knows.
Note: Reflection [aka external affirmation] is heroin to any Stepford Wife with a working knowledge of the Devil’s Crossroads.
SUMMARY
1] Aging narcissist-socialites attend parties for the photo ops, not for the charities themselves.
In fact, many of them don’t even know the charities they’re attending, given the number of stops one must make on a particular night, particularly during cultural season.
“Oh is this the Opera gala? Of course it is!”
2] Old money doesn’t want the publicity.
New money can’t live without it.
Note the outrageously expensive and pretentious automobiles cars lined up in perfect formation in front of gold digging establishments.
Money is thrown around like party favors. Think of it as a carbon credit for people who don’t know better.
3] The aging narcissist sits on the fence between old and new, driving cars that are expensive, but not pretentious.
Wearing clothing that is stylish, but not trendy and/and garish.
And generally behaving in a manner reflective of sophistication and cultural maturity, in spits of the fact that it’s a ruse.
In this sense, they’re the lowest of the low because no one has any idea who they really are, including themselves.
I could go on.
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/07/the-myth-of-buying-beauty/374414/
The Beauty-Status relationship is analogous to lines and performance in sports cars.
And speaking of sports cars, there’s always a faster one.
~~~
What I’m about to illustrate will probably irritate most women who resent objectification, but it may help mitigate the anger through acceptance that men are superficial first, human second.
THE MALE DEMOGRAPHIC
1] Big cities
2] Educated
3] Worldly
4] “Rich”
5] Baby-Boomers
Three [3] female body types and how men of the above demographic respond to each:
While no one could possibly argue that this woman isn’t insanely fit, most would find her too muscular for cocktail attire.
Imagine her in Prada and the discussion is closed.
She’s out of place anywhere other than a gym, which is not where most of these men spend the majority of their lives.
She is also impossible to physically control, which challenges a CEO’s self-perception as natural born leader.
A plus-size model parades a design from the Rio label during the ‘Hot in the City’ Intimates show at the Sydney Fashion Festival on August 21, 2009. The festival aimed at the public profiles the comtemporary spring-summer collections of local and international fashion brands as these new season’s looks arrive into stores throughout the city. RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE AFP PHOTO / Greg WOOD (Photo credit should read GREG WOOD/AFP/Getty Images)
Plus-sized women make such men feel inadequate and embarrassed.
What have they done – or not done – in their personal lives to enable such an abomination to evolve?
People will hurl conjecture right and left at galas and benefits from here to Monte Carlo.
She should know better, and he’s obviously a complete failure as a man, so yes, this physique is a FAIL.
SHARNI VINSON and Kellan Lutz at the Beach at Cronulla New South Wales in Australia
While there remains a small niche market for this look – particularly among men who get off on physically dominating the look and feel of 12-year-old boys – it is less common than you might imagine.
Finally, we have what most men in the above demographic consider a woman prepped to sell.
She is fit, but overly so. “Toned, but not muscular” is the way is usually described.
Her bathing suit looks the way the fashion designer envisioned it on a woman, and furthermore, she would look great in basically everything “couture” on the planet.
Perceptions of him – his status, in particular – soars.
He’s now arrived and she gets the house.
Yea, there’s a downside to everything.
~~~
HOW TO MAINTAIN “OBJECT” STATUS
Women who go down this road know what they have to sacrifice in order to get it right.
First, they have to start out with the right facial and body structure.
There is some wiggle room here, so don’t freak out just yet.
From this point forward, the hard work begins.
Tenet #1: Counting calories is as much a part of life as breathing, preferably no more than 1200 a day.
For me 1200 calories doesn’t even cover breakfast, but whatever.
Tenet #2: In order to maintain the obligatory year-round tan and flawless skin, you need the right skincare products and 100% sunblock.
Understand that women do not tan at a pool. They tan at a salon. There’s a difference.
As for exercising, there is no such thing as running a marathon or any extended outdoor running at all.
It’s fine for teenagers, but once a woman hits her mid-20’s all the sun damage creeps in like a tsunami.
Tenet #4: All exercising must be done indoors – at “pump” classes, Pilates and yoga.
Understand that the look is “toned, but not muscular,” in spite of the fact that this makes no literal sense, since tone is muscle.
But women in “the know” understand the terminology well because they have the blueprint stamped into their DNA.
SUMMARY OF THE BASICS
1] 1200 calories a day
2] Spray on tan and sunblock.
3] Indoor exercise, only.
Got it?
WANT MORE?
Help me out here.
What’s the real story in this article?
Is it that Arnold Schwarzenegger has had an “up and down personal life” [like most people], or that he is now dating a woman 27 years his junior?
If the later is the case, I fail to see the significance of the story?
Here’s the article:
Needless to say, the ageism narrative is running at full throttle.
I don’t see Daily Mail – or anyone else for that matter – commenting on, say, inter-racial relationships, or inter-faith relationships, or gay marriages, or even 6th marriages in this way.
But it’s still fair game to go after older men who date, and often marry, significantly younger women.
Why is this?
What is so distasteful – or disingenuous, perhaps – about inter-generational mating?
Look at the world: Spiraling out of control divorce rate, unprecedented college drop out rate among men, women delaying marriage, everyone running for financial shelter.
I dunno, dating up kinda sells itself.
Subconsciously, I think people see this pattern as a clear signal that the end of days is near.
Older men hoard young women who don’t procreate with men their own age, leaving civilization with a childless matriarchy bereft of new tax payers.
It’s all dollars and cents.
Maybe that should be the story.
78-year-old skateboarder, Lloyd Kahn [above].
When I was back in my 40’s, I remember a 54-year-old guy telling me that, in no uncertain terms, life as he once knew it was “gone.”
He was referring to his once athletic frame, now reduced to a 3rd-term pregnant midsection and shoulder slope that reminded me of someone in the advanced stages of spinal stenosis.
Ten years later I happened to run into this once over-the-hill man and barely recognized him.
At age 64, the guy had literally transformed himself into an exemplary specimen of health.
He revealed to me that he’d hit rock bottom in his personal life, and that as a retired professional, he was bored and depressed.
“Debilitating depression” is the way he phrased it.
Retired too early. Kids gone. Marriage hum-drum. Life a downhill slide.
Imagine decades of this.
No wonder he checked himself into a clinic that specializes in helping men rediscover themselves, and the fire that used to burn white hot.
It obviously worked. And while his marriage didn’t survive the ordeal, he did.
Aging is a state of mind that starts innocently enough – a little reality check here and there – but it rapidly escalates into a malignant mindset that kills the spirit that once stole smiles, and filled hearts with love, joy…and hope.
WHY WOULD ANYONE WILLINGLY LET THIS GO?
No one should ever allow anyone convince you that you’re too old to do this or that, be this or that.
If you can pull it off, you just raised the bar another notch.
Now they can kiss your ass.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t have the pitching arm you had back in the day.
Buy a skateboard.
Nobody lays claim to what older men can and cannot do, physical disabilities [i.e., old injuries] notwithstanding.
But there are always workarounds.
Physicians are always warning older men to be careful in the gym; to act “responsibly, in deference to their age.”
But those same physicians are at death’s door decades before their time.
Check the source.
For the moment, I’ll leave you with this inspiring article.
I have to go to the gym.
http://www.boredpanda.com/senior-citizen-ageing-stereotypes-age-of-happiness-vladimir-yakovlev/
Have a kick-ass day.
http://www.salon.com/2015/03/26
Before I delve into this incendiary topic, let me clear something up right away: I’m a card-carrying member of the Baby Boom generation and guilty as charged of dating considerably younger women for the better part of my entire adult life.
I guess you could say this makes me a veteran of sorts, and therefore, the target of hostility from those who assume I exploit and hoard youth.
But here’s a little secret:
It’s the other way around.
See, unless a guy my age is trawling ads on Cragislist, they women in question are trawling for us in places like grocery stores.
We don’t command young women the way we used to. We are either exposed to them over a period of time wherein they do their assessment and decide whether or not to go in, or they target us like snipers and then conquer us through unimaginably guile.
So we’re the victims if truth be told.
All we have is experience, more money – and a lot more appreciation – which appears to be straw that broke the camel’s back where dating young men is concerned.
But I gotta tell ya, it’s not a cakewalk, either. Young women are a lot like older women, just better looking.The downside is the raging hormones that more than balance the scales in many minds, lest you think its a panacea.
Notwithstanding, a lot of successful older guys I know just get tired of being reminded that their time is fraying at the edges, and what better way to obviate this unfortunate existential dilemma than to date women who remind them that tomorrow is not only worth living for…but that life may, in fact, be the dream we suspected back in the 70’s.
Either way, youth and beauty are like all-natural syringes of heroin, just more expensive in most cases.
If you can get past that, most would concede that you’ve reached the top of the mountain, and can now officially die with a smile on your face.
As for Woody Allen and everyone else with an appreciation of beauty – and the means to attract it [whatever that may be] – women are officially adults at the age of 18.
And while I don’t know many men who would have an interest in a relationship with a woman that young, I don’t know a single solitary one of us who would fail to appreciate everything else about them.
Get real. Men are men no matter what you happen to think about our inability to complete a sentence in the face of beauty.
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He says, “Bill, I believe this is killing me.”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place…” Piano Man, Billy Joel
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
1] Why am I not a rock star?
2] Why don’t I have my own syndicated radio talk show?
3] Why am I not taking Letterman’s place?
4] Why aren’t the phones ringing off the hook with glamorous acting jobs, TV appearance bookings, 7-figure book deals?
5] Why don’t I own a Gulfstream?
6] Where is my entourage?
7]\ Where am I?
8] Who am I?
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
If any of this sounds familiar, welcome to midlife, a precarious period in a man’s life, usually between the ages of 48 and 64, when everything you did in your life is now done and everything ahead is on thin ice.
While most of these items listed are exaggerations, the psychopathology behind them is everything but.
To combat this aberration of thought [self-persecution], I’d like to start an exercise I rely on to get me through the noise when it’s so loud I want to take up cliff diving.
First, I want you to put your hands on a Magic Marker. I prefer black ink because its more direct.
Then, get a large sketch pad which you can find at any Office Max.
Now, open the marker and draw a straight line down the center of the page.
On the left, write down the question you’re pondering; the one that triggers rage, anxiety and depression.
For our purposes here, let’s start with question #1:
#1] Why am I not a rock star?
For most of us, the right side of the column will look something like this:
a] Because I’m not a professional musician.
b] Because I chose to attend Business school in Rhode Island rather than sleep on the streets in Hollywood.
c] Because I’m risk-averse, in general.
Excellent. So now you’re answering your own questions and can now go back to enjoying your lunch.
#2] Why don’t I have my own syndicated radio talk show?
a] Because I’m not in the radio business.
b] Because I have never been in the radio business.
c] Because I had no interest in the radio business until “Rush Limbaugh” made me rethink that decision.
#3] Why am I not taking Letterman’s place?
a] Because Stephen Colbert just took it.
b] Because you’re not a stand-up comedian.
c] Because you’re not, nor have you ever been, in the television business, and therefore, neither you nor Mr. Colbert are in competition.
#4] Why aren’t the phones ringing off the hook with glamorous acting jobs, TV appearance bookings, 7-figure book deals?
a] Are you currently a professional actor? If not, scratch the first one.
b] TV appearances usually involve people who either survived a jump out of a commercial airliner without a parachute, or those born into a celebrity families they can’t wait to tell the world about.
c] As for “7-figure book deals” NOT involving celebrity gossip, you might ask yourself if you’ve ever written a book, much less taken a course in high school English.
#5] Why don’t I own a Gulfstream?
a] Most celebrities cannot afford to own Gulfstream aircraft, so they buy timeshares in them.
b] The oil and gas company you’ve been working for has a fleet of 7 Gulfstreams. If you had become a Vice-President, you’d been flying on one yourself.
c] Most people who can afford to outright own their own jets were usually born into the money. The rest you can count on two hands.
#6] Where is my entourage?
a] You have a wife, three kids, two cats and a Labrador Retriever. Isn’t that enough?
b] Once you’re past a certain age the last thing you want is to be bothered by an entourage, much less anything – or anyone with their hand out.
c] Entourages are for elite professional boxers who will probably blow through everything before they hit your age. Way before. I can name names you already know.
#7] Where am I?
a] By this, most middle-aged men are referring to where they are in the context of their lives and accomplishments. So start jotting down your accomplishments – without comparing them with people you don’t know, but can’t stop hearing about.
b] If you’re still healthy, reasonably happy, and financially secure at middle age, you’re a celebrity to anyone who is not.
c] If you have a swimming pool in addition to everything else, you deserve a backhand from God.
And finally…
#8] Who am I?
a] I might suggest ancestry.com.
If this isn’t what you’re referring to, dial 911.