Testosterone Replacement Therapy for Baby Boomers as Common as Flu Shots

Mel

Take a look at Mel Gibson in the above photo.

Notice the vascular character of his arms, veins running like ship rope over rock.

This look is not uncommon for men in their 20’s [with testosterone levels well north of 1000], but it is impossible for 60-year-old men with levels in the 300-400 range, which is pretty much all of us, plus or minus a few.

The only exceptions I have ever seen [and remember folks, I photographed national fitness magazine covers and editorials for 10 years of my career], are men who took steroids early on in their careers and built the framework for what we now see.

Without the drugs, there would be no “framework’ to speak of.

After a while, you can spot users a mile off.

But what’s really interesting about all of this is that taking testosterone is becoming so commonplace that I can envision supermarkets like Kroger offering weekly injections along with flu shots, because like the flu, aging sucks and in many cases leads to death.

~~~

Here’s the hook most commonly used to encourage testosterone use:

Anybody, regardless of occupation, can receive testosterone replacement therapy if he experiences symptoms of Low-T.

Please read the above statement carefully.

It says, “if he experiences symptoms of Low-T,” not “if he has Low-T.”

In other words, no blood test necessary.

There is a difference between feeling more fatigued at 60 than you did at 20. It’s called nature, which is more an annoyance than anything else, and therefore testosterone supplementation is a perfectly rational course of action…like recommending 30 minutes a day on a treadmill for diabetics.

I have many friends who self-administer weekly testosterone injections. Others opt for patches, pills and other delivery systems, but injections seem to be the most preferred method.

When asked what they “take” [because it’s so damn obvious], most claim to be “all natural.”

What this actually means is that they are taking “bio-identical” testosterone, manufactured in labs to mimic testosterone produced by the human body.

The interesting news is that because testosterone use has become so commonplace, most people just say “I’m taking 1cc a week of testosterone, so nothing really.” 

I know that many of you don’t believe a word of this. Why would you?

You live in a world where people go to work, raise families, play golf and fade in ways designed by nature.

You accept the fact that you don’t look the way you did 30 years ago.

You try to eat right, exercise when you can and pray you don’t drop dead before your 60th birthday.

This is normal.

Most people don’t expect life to go on and on the way it used to…until now.

~~~

I have a good friend who is on an elaborate “supplement cocktail,” which has led to explosive mass and strength.

He knows the risks, but in his mind the rewards far outweigh them.

I don’t judge him. We all live our lives the way we choose, and as long as we treat one another with dignity and respect, I support him in any way I can.

If he were using heroin, I would do the same.

In the end, the litany of potential side-effects fade along with the side-effects from taking a daily aspirin.

The rationale is that life is dangerous, but that shouldn’t stop any of us from living it.

Using this rationale, testosterone use is relative, like getting out of bed.

~~~

Target Consumers of Testosterone Replacement Therapy:

1] People in law enforcement.

2] Affluent older men with the financial resources available to offset the cost of “aging gracefully.”

3] Young men and women in professional athletics.

4] Bullied young men who seek revenge against their tormentors.

5] People who have unnaturally low testosterone levels as measured by several blood tests.

How Not to Keep a Good Man Down.

 

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What I’m about to tell you cuts a deep swath between what you were and what many of you are becoming.

Most men don’t have the balls to say [out loud] any of what I’m about to tell you, but saying it is the only way to help catalyze change in what’s often a foot-dragging passage into twilight.

Buckle up.

~~~

Over these past decades I’ve learned a few things about being a man that weigh on all of us after enough water’s under the bridge.

#1

The first is the personal assessment quiz, where we sum up all of our perceived accomplishments and hope that our backstories are sellable on the open market.

I say ‘open market’ because unless you live in a vacuum, you have an audience that determines your viability. I know. This sounds like every psychiatrist’s worst nightmare, but it’s still true.

We live in a society filled with people, not open land filled with livestock.

Remember, this is a blog about urban life, not rural isolationism.

In this world, our world, we need to matter. Some call it relevance. And while many claim this to be an exercise in pure nihilism and self-destruction, it’s critical to our emotional well being that we see our lives as having been well spent.

The resulting self-esteem becomes our fuel, our motivation to go on long after the glory years of imagined immortality and endless promise have passed.

But let me reiterate that we must pass muster with the world around us before we get the fuel. We can’t just fantasize it into being.

The world around us is a cold, objective force. It sees us as fully formed entities, each with a script in our hands that we read to ourselves before closing our eyes at night, hoping our dreams don’t contradict the plot lines.

Appreciating the gravity of this is an essential part of maintaining dignity no matter how much you try to ignore or deny it.

Okay, so let’s say we’re happy with what we’ve done with our lives up to this juncture. We have financial security and we’re proud of what we’ve done.

Great.

Now what?

#2

Now we have to figure out how to maintain what we’ve built so it doesn’t all come crashing down on top of us.

I’m talking about our physical health, and more specifically, our physical being; how we see ourselves relative to those around us, no matter what their age.

Like everything else in my life, I need to feel in possession of myself physically, to be physically strong, in control, and able to defend myself.

I’m sure that more than a few of you reading this will wonder why men our age [Baby Boomers] should give a crap about what sounds like an older man’s delusions of grandeur, but I don’t know any of you.

The men I do know care. A lot. They don’t want to be walked all over like party confetti. They live with purpose and dignity.

And while a few engage in endurance sports, especially anorexics, who swap one addiction for another, the answer lies in the weight room. Yes, being a man means lifting heavy weight. I know I know. I’m a superficial jackass who has no idea what brings true fulfillment to anyone but myself, but you’re still dead wrong.

Many of the men I’m around are luminaries in their respective fields, ranging in age from late 40’s to early 80’s. But one thing they share is a desire to build and/or maintain physical strength. In other words, no matter what they’ve done, if they’re wasting away it’s irrelevant. Soon, self esteem will erode away all that they’ve built, and they’ll end up dead long before you read about them in the obituaries.

This brings to mind a guy in my gym in his early 80’s who is not only a celebrated surgeon, but a world champion masters power lifter.

You think he feels irrelevant?

The respect he receives from people around him is palpable.

My motto: Be strong, live well.

#3

Our personal lives are the final cog in our wheels of fortune. While I cannot pretend to speak for gay men and their relationships, I do know a thing or two about living with women, which is kind of like living with an extraterrestrial biological life form, identical human DNA, notwithstanding.

Like #1 and #2, how we feel in the context of our relationships is inextricably tied to how we feel as men.

The first thing we men know about ourselves is that our egos are fragile, particularly when we feel vulnerable. Thus, we need our masculinity validated daily. We need to feel loved; we need to feel attractive; and we need to feel capable.

That’s a lot of need, but miss an ounce of it at your peril.

Memorize this list so you don’t lose it:

A] Admire Us.

Compliment us on the things we’re good at and our physical qualities. Beat on us and we’ll stop making the house payments.

B] Brag on Us

The first time I heard a woman complaining about her husband’s “many” shortfalls, I suggested he leave her. In my mind, she breached the trust and left him out to dry.

C] Ask For Our Help

Ask us to show you how to do something or to give you advice on a tough situation. We’ll be more than happy to show you, believe me.

D] Never, Ever Cut Us Down No Matter What.

Make you man feel like an idiot and he will show you the door. Men have massive egos. Why this is I don’t know, but suspect it has something to do with having to kill things so the rest of his primordial family didn’t starve to death.

Never, ever discredit us or make snide comments about our appearance, abilities or performances, particularly around others.

E] Learn How to Listen.

Men may not be as talkative as women are, but we still have things to say and emotions to vent or bad days we want to discuss. While we’re more about fixing things than just talking for the sake of being heard, sometimes we like being heard so we can justify fixing things.

F] Respect Us.

Respect builds the foundation of our relationships. Without it, we will look for it elsewhere, believe me. Incessant nagging comes to mind. It’s like rat poison for human relationships.

G] Believe In Us

We want the women in our lives to be our biggest cheerleaders. We’ll do anything for someone who believes in us. Even if what we try to do doesn’t succeed by someone else’s standards, the fact that we gave it our best shot deserves praise and love.

H] Do Little Things For Us

Whether you leave a love note somewhere we’ll find it, stuff an Oreo under our pillow…or just wear something that we can’t seem to live without, JUST DO IT!

FINAL THOUGHTS

As men get older it’s even more important to affirm us. First, because we are no longer 25. Second, because no matter what we act like, we’re no longer in college and running track for NYU.

Of course, back then we were flat broke, our trust factor was zero, and and our apartments resembled the wolf dens you see at natural science museums across the country.

As women who’ve spent your fair share of time with men, you already know all these things.

This is just a reminder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adult “Baby Food”

Food-man

As I’ve covered a few times on this site, healthy eating is a pain in the ass, like everything else that involves maintenance after a certain age.

So what exactly do I eat every day of my life, and why am I sick of it in spite of the fact that I can’t stop doing it?

The answer to the first part will follow, with specific food items you just have to accept no matter how much you want to hit that new burger joint.

The rest of it has to do with how eating the aforementioned foods make you feel, which becomes more important than consumption after a certain point in life.

You have to accept the fact that life is a balancing act filled with gives and takes along the way, mostly takes.

Ok, the food:

1] Oats

A study published in the Nutrition Journal found that participants who consumed oatmeal on a regular basis experienced a drop in bad cholesterol (and waist size!) due to their increased fiber intake.

I like knowing that oats are good for me more than I do consuming them. Nonetheless, just knowing this cancels out the negatives.

I also don’t like blood sugar crashes during workouts or long mornings at my computer, so eat your oats and shut up.

2] Raspberries

I know, weird, right?

I mix this antioxidant-rich berry in with my morning oats for taste, and again, the knowledge that they are good for me.

Never underestimate human psychology in all of this.

3] Carrots

Okay, I generally don’t like carrots. For one thing, I hate carrot juice, which seems counter-intuitive, but isn’t.

What I do like – and/or hate – about carrots is that they fill me up during the course of the day when I’m dreaming about chips and blocks of cheddar cheese.

4] Bell Peppers

For taste, i throw them into pretty much everything. For one thing, I like the primary colors [yellow, red and green], and they’re also a good source of fiber, like celery and cucumbers.

Personally, I prefer celery stuffed with goat cheese, but I have to earn it to enjoy it. I’ll get to that in a minute.

5] Chia Seeds

You may have heard all about Rhona Rousey’s love affair with Chia seeds. they burn longer, keep her feeling full and provide hours of energy.

This is also true for other human beings, if you can get past the fact that they don’t taste like anything, including water.

Again, they boost your fiber intake and you reap the digestive benefits, which is well documented.

6] Flax Seeds

A step below the today deified Chia seed, flax seeds offer up 5.6 grams per two tablespoons – which is actually more than those two bites of broccoli can claim.

Of course, “2 bites of broccoli” is a relative thing since I consume an entire stalk in a single sitting.

Note: I can only eat it when it when steamed, then I can get enough for some reason I can’t quite explain.

7] Barley

Most people I know haven’t a clue what barley is. Most think of oatmeal.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Just buy it and throw something on top of it, like shrimp or chicken.

It has no taste whatsoever, but cooked barley has 6 grams of the fibrous gut-filling nutrient.

Again, we’re talking about filling you up so you don’t crave things you shouldn’t eat.

Yes it sucks. Yes I get it. But no, you can’t deviate…much.

8] Brown Rice

Everyone by now has brown rice stuffed somewhere in their kitchen. We all know it’s better for us than the dreaded white rice, with over three times the amount fiber per cup.

I still prefer white rice, but like so much else I love, I don’t eat it.

9] Artichokes

Finally! Something I love!

Artichokes rock!

One medium artichoke boasts an impressive 10.3 grams of fiber and incorporating it into your diet may aid weight loss efforts…because, again, it makes you feel full.

This aside, I’ll boil or steam 3 of these bad boys and down all of them in a single sitting without an ounce of flavoring.

10] Lentils, Black beans, and Green peas, Sugar Snap Peas, Chickpeas, Split peas

Beans and legumes will always be standouts in this category. One cup of lentils serves up a massive 15.6 grams of fiber, which can help keep your energy steady throughout the day.

They also help maintain stable blood sugar levels.

I keep beans in the kitchen because they’re easy to combine with foods I prefer, like pretty much everything.

11] Blackberries

I love these these things. Blackberries contain 8 grams of fiber per cup, towering over strawberries and blueberries.

I know. You thought blueberries were on top the food chain.

12] Pears

There is nothing quite like a ripe, juice pear.

One medium pear contains around 5.5 grams of fiber, but in order to get all those grams you need to keep the skin in tact because that’s where most of the nutrient is concentrated. This same rule applies to apples, potatoes, and even that white stuff you love to pick off of oranges after you’ve peeled the outer layer off!

I’ve witnessed people do that.

13] Whole Wheat pasta

Yes, pasta is good for you.

No, not all pastas are as good for you.

Read the labels.

http://www.eatthis.com/pasta-nutrition

14] Figs

One dried fig contains nearly one gram of fiber and about 20 calories.

I like them, you might as well.

15] Dates

These things are weird, mushy and have the capacity to pull out a crown, but they have 1.6 grams of energy-boosting fiber, so there’s that.

16] Popcorn

I love popcorn and eat it all the time. I fill the bottom of a pan with extra virgin olive oil throw in the kernels and wait for them to pop. Then I add some spice and eat it in a bowl while watching Criminal Minds.

17] Acorn Squash

I couldn’t spot this in a grocery isle if my life depended on it, but one cup mashed provides your body with 6 grams of satiating fiber. Plus, acorn squash is also an excellent source of vitamin C—one serving provides about 20 percent of your daily needs—which is important for your immunity.

18] Sweet potato

I really like these when they soft. I carry them around with me. 6 grams of fiber per large baked potato for only 160 calories.

19] Apple

One medium apple contains around 4.4 grams of the belly-friendly nutrient and can help ward off junk food cravings between meals.

20] Almonds

High fiber nuts and seeds are always great while you’re on the go. Snack on almonds, which have an average of 3.5 grams of fiber per one-ounce serving and are a convenient way to supplement your fiber intake slowly throughout the day. In other words, they burn slowly.

21] Oranges

If I ever experience a radical drop in blood sugar during an intense workout, I reach for an orange. It’s not the fiber I’m looking for, it’s the fructose.

One orange also contains 4.4 grams of fiber, versus a banana, which contains 3.

22] Whole grain bread

One slice of a true whole grain bread can contain around 5 or 6 grams of fiber.

Remember to stick with whole grain, not multigrain, which simply means that there are different types of grains present

~~~

It should be obvious by now that consuming the aforementioned foods are a proven way of tricking your body into feeling full so you don’t down a Big Mac.

Adulthood is tough when you break it all down, which is why so many of us deflect attention from existential pain by going to the gym, watching a lot of television, working, and staying out of the hospital by eating things we hate.

No Signs of Slowing Down for Older Athletes

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George Haywood, 63, took home the gold in the 300-meter hurdles at the World Masters Athletic Championships last summer in Lyon, France. (Katherine Frey / The Washington Post)

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/health/sc-fitness-golden-years-health-0224-20160216-story.html

For you skeptics, naysayers and apologists out there…

Drug Testing

Drug testing will be conducted at Perth 2016, following the procedures outlined by World Masters Athletics.

If selected for drug testing Competitors must declare any/all medications being used by them on the doping control form. Any athlete using a prohibited substance as defined in the Regulations, must apply for an exemption (TUE) to the WMA Anti-Doping and Medical Committee. Athletes taking or requiring exemption for a prohibited substance must apply to the WMA Medical Officer (Dr. Martine Prévost) for a TUE exemption (17 rue Léon Roby FR-87000 LIMOGES: FRANCE. Tel: 0033 607 949 507, email: prevost.ma@wanadoo.fr ) If an exemption is refused, the prohibited substance(s) concerned must not be used and should you be selected for testing and the test proves positive this may result in a suspension. Please note that no other medical certificate(s) will be accepted in substitution for a TUE certificate. If you are granted a TUE exemption certificate, this must be with you at all times along with proof of identification, and must be produced at the Doping Control Centre if you are selected for a drug test. Details of prohibited substances and all Anti-Doping procedures are available on the IAAF (www.iaaf.org) website, the WMA (www.world-masters-athletics.org) website and your IAAF Affiliated Federation. The Competitor’s Handbook in Perth will also contain details of the Anti-Doping Procedures to be undertaken during the championships.

 

“Functional Fitness” is Boomer-Speak for Training for Life

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Between 1980 and 2010, the number of 100-year-olds increased 66 percent. Baby boomers are now ages 52 to 70. By 2029, more than 20 percent of Americans will be over 65.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/health/sc-baby-boomer-functional-fitness-health-0413-20160408-story.html

Visualize for a moment doing the kinds of things you did as a young man.

You threw footballs, caught Frisbees, climbed trees, jumped over things, rolled and tumbled and generally speaking, took it all for granted.

Fast-forward 40 years and you’re lucky to drag your butt out of bed without pulling your back out.

Enter functional training.

Dan Ritchie co-founded Functional Aging Institute, which teaches fitness professionals how to train mature clients. Functional fitness means movements that help you in everyday life. Think cross-body and full-body motions, bending or picking something up off the floor. The goal is to build a body capable of real-life activities.

When I look at older guys in my gym, most appear to be one hell of a lot older then they actually are.

This is because they are a hell of a lot older then they should be for their age.

Many have forgotten how to do the things they used to do, while the rest have resigned themselves to the misconception that life robbed them blind while they were working and raising families.

In a way this is true.

Life only gives back what you put in. It doesn’t care what you do or how you do it. It’s just a bystander.

If you don’t care, it doesn’t care. Cause and effect. Period.

So it’s up to you to make the most of what’s left of your life, which could very well be a lot longer than you think – or longer than you’re prepared to endure.

Get a grip and take control of your health.

Your self-esteem will thank you.

Fact:

1] The number of Americans 62 and older is growing, with most of the increase expected by 2030.

2] Americans ages 62-plus have a net worth 40 percent higher than that age group did 25 years ago.

3] They don’t want to get old and sit around to die, otherwise known as dying in slow motion. They want to go on adventures, live life to the fullest.

And since they can afford to — if they have the functional capacity – most guys I know are now adding functional training to their psychotherapy regimen.

 

The Truth About Eating Healthy

imagesThere was a point in my life where I enjoyed eating. It was a long time age.

I’d workout, then devour a pizza – or bucket of Popeye’s friend chicken and french fries – and was no worse for wear.

My body would cycle through it and I’d be on to the next great meal within a few hours.

Now I can’t get within block of Popeye’s without suffering withdrawal symptoms.

I know that the days of eating like that are long gone no matter how much the cravings scrape away at my resolve.

At this writing food is fuel and nothing more. Sad, I know.

I get up in the mornings to write and completely forget about eating, until I start losing consciousness from low blood sugar and am then forced to head to the kitchen.

I consume 6 egg whites, a bowl of oatmeal with a banana in it, and a glass of water marinated in lemon juice.

Needless to say, the last place I want to be is in the kitchen.

If I could pop a pill and be done with it i wpould, but I can’t, so this is what I’m left with.

Lunch is the same: Salmon over greens and an iced tea.

Totally sucks. Horrible.

What I really want is a thin crust pizza with cheddar, ground beef and onions.

This vision sits in my head as I eat what I know is better for me, what will make me look and feel better … and maybe keep me alive longer – or better.

Now we come to dinner, and it’s usually sitting in glass Tupperware containers in the fridge: Pre-prepared foods from Sunday, when we cook things I hate for 5 hours.

But here’s a little secret: I still manage to cheat!

After dinner I get to enjoy a fruit Popsicle.

But it gets better!

Before bed, I prepare a bowl of frozen organic fruit with a small slice of low fat cheese and a few pita chips!!! Awesome!

This is what life is like for those of us who have had to convince ourselves that eating healthy is about how it makes one feel rather than how it tastes.

Hopefully, most come to a place of peace about this.

I haven’t.

~~~

I found this amusing in light of the above…

21 Nutritionists Confess Their Pet Peeves

http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/nutrition/21-nutritionists-confess-their-pet-peeves/ss-BBr5T5f#image=1

Sharp Increase in Older Men Going Under the Knife

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While there has only been a two percent overall increase in plastic surgeries from 2009 to 2010, the number of male cosmetic procedures have increased dramatically, say statistics from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS).

The number of liposuction procedures performed on men rose seven percent, and the number of male facelifts doubled, by 14 percent.

Why such a relatively high increase in male procedures? 

1[ Economic woes [i.e., keeping their jobs]

2] Media bombardment [i.e., if you can afford to look your best, why not?]

People often consider cosmetic procedures to be just for women, says northern CA-based men’s mental health expert Will Courtenay, PhD, LCSW, and author of Dying to Be Men.

Just as sex roles between men and women are changing—more fathers are active parents than they used to be, he maintains—so is interest in cosmetic surgery.  “The fact is, manhood in America is changing rapidly,” Courtenay tells demo dirt. “And at least one in four men says he’d consider cosmetic surgery. And another one in five says he might. And for men, it’s often about staying in the race.” 

Washington, DC-based facial plastic surgeon Houtan Chaboki, MD says that he has noticed an increase in men getting procedures, even though they still comprise less than ten percent of cosmetic patients.

Most common, he notes, is rhinoplasty, which people get for various reasons.

However, the fastest growing market is face lift surgery, Chaboki says.

“More men seeking plastic surgery want to appear younger and compete in the workplace,” he says.

“Some working men who actually feel full of energy have the perception that others at work may see them as older, [and] less adaptable to change in a fast-moving economy.”

Dermatologist Debra Jaliman, MD started doing Botox in 1991 and says that more and more men have been requesting the treatment, among other things.

“I find that now many years later more men are doing Botox and fillers and lasers and freezing their fat, “she says.

Jaliman agrees that the main reason is the economy.  “We are in a competitive business environment and it’s also become more acceptable,” she adds.

The problems emerge when cosmetic surgery can’t remedy deeper-rooted self-esteem issues.

“Cosmetic surgery can be a misguided attempt to feel better,” Courtenay maintains. “Research shows that men who are dissatisfied with their physical appearance are more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and depression. So, for these men, cosmetic surgery may make them look better, but they won’t feel better.”

The best surgery candidate, Courtenay says, is a man who is generally secure already.  

SUMMARY

Whether it’s to gain that competitive edge, or just bolster an already healthy self-esteem, nips and tucks appear are the way forward for most urban men I know.

Get used to it. I have.

Nothing is as it seems anywhere, anymore.

Baby Boomer Suicide Rate Rising [as funds for concubines dries up]

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http://www.healthline.com/health-news/baby-boomer-suicide-rate-rising-031515

The recent Great Recession was hard on almost everyone, but especially baby boomers [generation born between 1946-1964] who had decades of savings to invest.

Side note: Money is supposed to fill in all the existential angst after life exacts its pound of flesh and leaves us with less physical relevance. 

Thus, it’s no surprise that a rising number of middle-aged people of that generation resorted to suicide as the weight of economic problems overwhelmed them.

Since that time baby boomers have had the highest rate of suicide of any age group in the United States, which is interesting given the fact that people between the ages of 40 and 64 have historically had one of the lowest rates.

Add to this conundrum the fact that baby boomers are now sliding head long into the over-65 demographic, which is ground zero for historically high suicide rates.

Put another way, if you don’t have money at this writing, you’re pretty much screwed.

According to the article, since the beginning of the Great Recession, 8.8 million jobs were lost, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Middle-aged people were disproportionately affected in terms of lost property value, household finances, and lost retirement savings.

Twenty-seven percent of those aged 50 to 64 experienced reduction in salaries, higher than any other age group.

On a related note, of those baby boomers who committed suicide from 2005 to 2010, 81 percent had prior mental health or substance abuse problems.

Although suicides for baby boomers could level out as the economy improves, experts say the fact this generation is entering older age is worrisome.

So now even if you have money, you’re too old to really enjoy it.

The key is not to let things get to a point of escalation. When people are suicidal, they’re rigid and not thinking clearly.

Dr. Jill Harkavy-Friedman, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention says, “The key is not to let things get to a point of escalation. When people are suicidal, they’re rigid and not thinking clearly.”

But she is wrong. They are thinking very clearly, which is the problem.

How do you talk an 80-year-old man without money out of hanging himself?

It doesn’t make sense. The man is thinking quite rationally, in my view. What’s the point of going on if you’re broke, and, for all intents and purposes, broken physically?

Is there any hope?

Not really.

From personal experience, I can give you 10 things older men [those over 65] can do to dramatically improve their mental health –– but we’re talking about older men who don’t have to worry about their next meal.

For such men, hope is everywhere because they can afford it.

More specifically, here are 10 ways to insure that it sticks around a long time:

1] Hit the gym on a daily basis, interact with people, and reduce stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which create feelings of happiness and euphoria without heroin. It also boosts self-esteem by providing a sense of physical relevance and self-possession that other older men lose along the way.

2] Check your testosterone levels. At this stage of the game “normal” levels probably aren’t enough. So boost them. Even if it leads to premature death, what the hell difference does it make is all you’re doing is dying in slow motion?

3] Be sexually active. If you’re bored with your wife, figure out how not to be bored with her. If she’s not interested, hire a surrogate wife. Many women I know provide “girlfriend experiences” with a full rate schedule they keep on Ipads. Many keep them in their gym bags. And for God’s sake, get a scrip for ED medication if you think you need it. Most 25-year-olds are using it, so why not you?

 4] Don’t shy away from cosmetic improvements. If your teeth look like crap, fix them. If your jaws are hanging like liver from the sides of your face…facelift! Then there are fillers, micro-dermabrasion…I could go on. Just do it.

5] If you drive a Buick la Sabre, I can’t help you. 

2005-Buick-LeSabre_14745

 

6] Do something you’ve always wanted to do, but for whatever reason haven’t. Nobody’s going to care if you decide to go back-packing in Yosemite after spending 40 years behind a desk. 

 7] When was the last time you went clothes shopping? Seriously. Most older men look old because they dress like people who should already be dead. Thus, I suggest you let your “girlfriend” decide what to buy. Pink pleated pants and golfing shirts are now customary attire for the dead at wakes, fyi.

8] Spend time around younger people whenever possible. It has been demonstrated time and time again that people become conditioned to their surroundings, which should not include graveyards and hospitals.

9] Stop talking about your aches and pains, and for God’s sake avoid the obituaries. Nobody wants to hear about your aging joints because only old people have aching joints no matter how ridiculous this sounds. And talking about the death of anyone but, for example, an otherwise youthful and healthy downhill skier is a buzzkill.  

10] If you take yourself way too seriously and can’t remember the last time you laughed, you’re like the guy with the Buick.

I’ll give you 10 more in upcoming blogs…

Fitness: ‘Magic Pill’ Against Mid-Life Depression

Worried Male

 

When you get older, you expect to be depressed.

By “older” I’m referring to Baby Boomers stuck between the 3rd and final chapters, or Purgatory in the absence of an obituary notice.

But I’m hopeful because I have one weapon up my sleeve capable of blowing a gaping hole in hell…

EXERCISE.

In the minds of many, however, what I undergo is hell.

But as everyone knows, if you want to stop feeling like crap you have to punish yourself.

Eventually, you’ll learn to enjoy it like the rest of us.

It’s kind of like healthy eating. You learn to appreciate the way clean food makes you feel, rather than focus on its taste.

Soon, you’ll convince yourself that steamed quinoa tastes better than a Big Mac.

As implausible as this may sound, it is critical that you embrace certain delusions at any and all cost.

Understand that nature wants you dead. Thus, it’s your job to earn it’s respect in order to stay alive.

Many guys throw in the towel because it’s just too much on top of everything else.

But there is nothing else without it.

A FEW FACTS

http://fitness.mercola.com/sites/fitness/archive/2015/01/23/brain-benefits-exercise.aspx

Steven Tyler and New Girlfriend, Aimee Ann Preston

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3478638/GIRL-TOWN-Wrinkly-Aerosmith-Rocker-s-new-28-year-old-lover.html

Yes, there is an age difference. And no, I don’t care.

Tyler is 67. Preston, 28.

Ho hum.

But the media spins it for sensationalism: Steven Tyler turned heads when he marched up the red carpet at the Oscar-viewing party thrown by Elton John’s Aids Foundation hand-in-hand with a younger mystery woman.”

Still ho hum.

Not to be deterred, the media adds even more flourish to this non-story: Aimee Ann Preston is a full decade younger than his actor daughter Liv!

Yea, and my girlfriend was born 10 years after I received my undergraduate degree at 23, and we’re still together 5 years on.

Ho hum, again.

Congratulations to Steven and Aimee.

I’m sure your relationship is everything but ho hum.