Posts Tagged → older men

Boomers Vs Millennials: A Field Guide

MillBoomHabits-ftr

http://parade.com/417123/scott_steinberg/field-guide-millennials-vs-baby-boomers/

This article has some field ready stats that I tend to agree with for the most part.

But what’s of particular interest to me, and that I think you might find interesting, is what follows: The differences in Habits and Characteristics.

Here’s a snapshot:

Did you know that 70% of millennials have never been married?

This makes complete sense given the fact that they inherited a tough job market, exacerbated by the fact that Baby Boomers never retire.

More than 60 percent of millennials say they’d rather earn $40,000 per year at a job they love than $100,000 at one they hate.

When I was looking for a job I also wanted something I enjoyed over something I hated, so this never made sense to me.

I think that most of this applies to the generation before mine, but for some reason got lost in translation…or time.

Polls seem to indicate that 1/2 of Gen Yers identify themselves as politically independent, while three in 10 are unaffiliated with any organized religion.

I get this. Media has of way of scrambling one’s brain cells, so how the hell are you supposed to know where you stand on anything?

Despite being the generation with the most schooling in U.S. history, millennials rank below their global peers in math, literacy and a key 21st-century skill: “problem-solving in technology-rich environments.”

The focus today is on liberal studies, which, in my generation, was reserved only for women pursuing “MRS” degrees and trust fund kids.

Another interesting finding is that only 15 percent of boomers admit to having a tattoo, compared to 40 percent of millennials and 30 percent of Gen Xers (born between 1965 and 1980).

Maybe the permanence of tattoos is projection on the part of a generation that can find solid footing pretty much anywhere.

Another sad fact of life for millennials is that nearly two-thirds of boomers ages 50 to 61 expect to delay retirement.

Among the most popular reasons cited for sticking with the daily grind: They want to.

Making matters worse [for millennials] is that boomers expect to live longer than any previous generation. 

New research suggests that old age may now actually begin at 74.

That’s also bad news for employers who still offer a pension, with the average retiree now estimated to draw a pension for 24 years (50 percent longer than the prior generation).

Then there’s the surprising factoid that nearly as many boomers own smartphones as younger generations, and are far more likely to have home computers.

A whopping 85 percent are (LOL) into text messaging, sending an average of 80 messages a month.

Boomers are also five times likelier than other generations to own a digital tablet.

On a certain level, the situation is grim.

We like to work, we are healthier than any generation before us, and we stay on top of technology.

No wonder we date people half our age.

It’s not like millennials are getting anywhere with their peers.

What Boomers Want in Bed […according to Match.com]

620-goldfinger-james-bond-007-movie1

http://www.match.com/magazine/article/8469/What-Baby-Boomers-Want-In-The-Bedroom/

According to Match what she wants…

 

1] Fabulous foreplay

Joy Parsons, 63, of Oklahoma City, OK, says more kissing and cuddling is at the top of her sexual wish list.

“Too many men I’ve dated recently just pop a Viagra and expect to get straight to it,” she confesses.

 “But I for one need an appetizer before I jump to the main course.”

Comments: No question there’s an imbalance here, just as there is with men who take steroids versus those who don’t.

Pharmaceuticals throw off the natural order of things leaving many, in this case, older women in its wake.

2] To get their sexy back

“During lovemaking, I don’t want to worry about what my neck looks like,” confesses Sheila Clarkson, 59, of Las Vegas, NV. “Deep down, I still feel 19! I want my lover to make me feel as desirable and hot on the outside as I feel on the inside.”

 Comments: This is a tough one because men are already staring down the barrel of mortality. My suggestion to older women is to find a man who’s comfortable with mortality.

3] More emotional intimacy  

 Francis Becker, 55, of Tacoma, WA, says that emotional bond is indeed what drives her post-50 sexual encounters. “I need to feel like I’m reaching a higher plane with someone,” she confides. “After a long and bitter divorce five years ago, I decided that before I slept with someone, he’d have to win my heart first. I don’t take sex lightly, and I don’t want my partner to, either. We need to connect on a spiritual level.”

 Comments: When older men think of emotional intimacy in the context of sex, they’re usually running for the hills. Men see sex as a primal act, and any attempt to disrupt the flow sets up a clear and present danger to their masculinity. My suggestion is to substitute fantasy to avoid triggering the Madonna-Whore Complex.

~~~

According to Match what he wants…

1] Passionate positive reinforcement

James Franklin, 62, of La Canada, CA, says the most important thing to him in the bedroom is knowing that he’s turning his partner on. “After 60, I don’t always perform like I used to,” he confesses. “So, during sex, it’s crucial for me to know that I’m still a great lover. It’s up to her to send me that message loud and clear.”

Comments: I have found that performing the way I did back in my 20’s is a blessed relief to women, because now I actually care about their satisfaction. As for positive reinforcement, I have found that the ones needing the reinforcement are women, given the Internet’s infringement upon reality.

2] Less pressure to be the best ever

 When and if things don’t go as planned in the passion department, it’s important for women to not make a big deal about it. Instead, take this opportunity to discover ways to give each other pleasure that don’t include intercourse. Give back rubs. Caress each other’s bodies. Instead of getting frustrated or saying ‘I give up,’ explore new avenues of pleasure.

 Comments: If you’re with someone who loves you for who you are and not what you bring to the table in stocks and real estate, you’re free to just be yourself. If, however, you’re in shit shape and falter repeatedly in the bedroom, it’s time to see a urologist.

3] More surprises in the sack

 Men in midlife don’t want to get trapped under the boredom rock. They are looking for spontaneity and a bolder approach, both in the bedroom and out. Boredom simply isn’t conducive to passion.

 Ray Brown, 71, of Jersey City, NJ, found when he started dating a new woman last year. “She was only interested in one position, and she told me there was to be no talking during lovemaking—ever,” he says. “After three or four encounters, I felt like falling asleep! I need someone who’s going to keep me guessing, not someone who somehow manages to make sex boring. Now more than ever, life’s just too short.”

 Comments: After a single encounter, I can determine – without a shadow of doubt –whether or not we’re going to be sexually compatible. No one stays with a woman who puts them to sleep in the bedroom. Life’s already on a short fuse and no one’s giving up a single second more than they absolutely have to.

Closing remarks

 If I happen to offend anyone with what I’m about to say, please understand that reality doesn’t give a crap what you or I think. It just is and WE either accept it or drop another Quaalude.

Most guys in my socioeconomic demographic who happen to be back in the singles market are not dating women their own age. Most women are 20 years younger…or more. This is considered age-appropriate, and therefore, normal.

Such women are not as concerned about how sex plays out because their bodies still work the way they used to. This is one reason men re-set the baselines.

Most of what this article refers to are men and women in the identical age demographic, which, as I have always said, is best left to people with either low libidos, low self-esteem, or physical and psychiatric disabilities.

~~~

It bears noting that age differences also apply to affluent older women who date younger men for similar reasons.   

In this sense, youth and money are synonymous.

Jerry Hall, 59 Engaged to Rupert Murdock, 84

3001949D00000578-0-image-m-4_1452476016306

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3394897/Jerry-Hall-59-announces-engagement-84-year-old-Rupert-Murdoch.html

Needless to say, this story is not really about Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdock.

It’s about age differences, and how money and power are balanced against relative youth and relative beauty on a very public stage.

What’s obvious is that Hall stands to inherit a massive sum when he dies, which, from an actuarial perspective, is just around the corner.

So she gives up a few years of her life in exchange for vast riches, while he gets to sleep with a younger woman with whom he shares common interests and lifestyles.

In this sense they both win.

But is this it?

Is it just a business decision?

Does Murdock think he’s being used? Probably not.

Does she love him in the way most people think of love?

I don’t know and neither does anyone else.

What I have found through personal experience that most older women – of which Hall is certainly a member – are far less interested in sex and romance than they are companionship.

There are exceptions, but not many.

Hair Loss Triggers Depression in Older Men [and women]

older-man-with-hair-loss-data

Fact: 75% of all men will suffer some degree of hair loss by age 60.

Fact: 50% of all women will experience some hair thinning by the age of 40, three-quarters by the time they are 65.

This is particularly bad news for Baby Boomers who make up the 51-70 demographic [1946-1964].

According to Dr Asim Shahmalak, Britain’s most respected and best-known hair transplant surgeons, hair loss can have devastating psychological consequences.

“Men and women alike, although it is mainly men who suffer, go through a series of psychological stages when their hair thins, he says. Broadly speaking these can be characterized thus: Shock – Denial – Anger – Depression – Acceptance, not dissimilar to any other life-changing episode.”

He goes on to tell the story of Mark Oaten, then a rising political star, who became mired in a sex scandal.

“Mr Oaten did not condemn the media, nor point to the pressures of life in the Westminister bubble, as he might reasonably have done and many before him have.
Instead, in an unusual and highly thought provoking response, he laid the blame for his behavior squarely at the door of a mid-life crisis occasioned, he said, by the loss of his hair.”

I’m not making this up.

Writing at the time in a compelling dispatch for the Sunday Times, Mr Oaten identified the loss of his hair as the trigger behind the increasing anxiety in his personal and professional life as an MP.

“Any television appearance would result in a barrage of emails, not about the issues I’d raised but about my lack of hair,” he admitted.

“Whether supportive or not, they all asked what had happened to my hair.”

He went on, “It’s perhaps not surprising that I became more and more obsessed by its disappearance. For me it was a public sign that my youth had ended.”

The loss of hair for men and women can be deeply traumatic. And trauma, however hard to gauge, can influence both happiness and behavior. No one should underestimate the affect hair loss can have.

‘Baldy’, ‘slaphead’, ‘bone dome’, all harmless banter, right? Hardly. The language of the schoolyard extends well beyond the boardroom.

I’m hardly one to argue in favor of political correctness, but people need to get a grip on the essential vulnerabilities human beings carry, especially things like hair loss, over which they have no control.

Self-confidence is of paramount important to well being. And once that confidence goes, it can be hard to regain, leaving both professional and personal life badly exposed.

According to Dr. Shahmalak, patients readily admit to worrying constantly about their thinning hair and tell him about the impact on their social lives:

“Innocent comments can be misinterpreted, the eyes of their friends seem drawn to their temples, everyone else has a full head of hair. Why not them? I don’t exaggerate.”

In a society where image has become so important, hair is crucial.

It also can be tougher for modern men than for previous generations because of the high number of mid-life relationship break-ups and divorce. This coupled with greater independence for women, and men are now under pressure to keep looking younger in later life.

This scenario isn’t without crosscurrents, however.

Having very short hair is often seen as more masculine – and there are some suggestions that baldness is linked with heightened virility.

There are plenty of poster-boy role models for the nervously-thinning male.

But if people fear the worst about getting bald, it can become part of a wider mid-life crisis, says business and social psychologist, Michael Gutteridge.

If a man has strongly identified with his appearance, then losing his hair can feel like a threat to his identity­ as it means he stops looking like the person he thought he was. This is more than just vanity.

 Dr Gutteridge says that it’s becoming increasingly common for business leaders to have cosmetic surgery, reflecting their need to send a visual message that they are still young and energetic.

Politics comes to mind.

Did you know that in the United Kingdom, no bald headed party leaders have won a general election since the television era began, perhaps reflecting the potent cocktail of associations that connects hair with power, attractiveness and vitality?

Even businessman and presidential candidate, Donald Trump, made reference to it when he stated, “it’s extremely important for all men to maintain a good head of hair.”

As for his hair, I’ll abstain from further comment.

 The Future Looks Good

Barry Stevens, general secretary of the Trichological Society, says in the foreseeable future there will be an effective way of preventing baldness using “tissue engineering” and cloning technology.

This would mean cultivating hair-growing skin from an original sample, which would be grafted back onto the scalp.

“This isn’t pie in the sky, there are tens of millions being pumped into research into this,” says Mr. Stevens. But once an effective technique is developed, he forecasts that this will become a massive industry.

I could have guessed that myself.

Mr. Stevens has been working in the hair industry for four decades and he is strongly dismissive of much of the hair loss merchandising on the market, particular products that claim to “re-grow” vanished hair.

Hairr transplants work for some people, he says, but little else is worth the money.

 “People are getting conned every day, charged thousands they can’t afford, going to hair clinics where they’re sold magic pills and creams that don’t work. I’m sickened by much of the industry, it is corrupt, full of charlatans.”

“If there were a safe and effective drug for re-growing hair it would be available from doctors, rather than adverts in the backs of newspapers,” he says.

But there is certainly a massive market for such hair revitalization, with an estimated 5.5 million websites dedicated to hair products.

This is because even though men might say they don’t care, losing hair can take the scissors to their self-confidence – and they’ll spend a great deal of money trying to turn back the tide, says Mr. Stevens.

It might not be apparent for many years, but the 100,000 hairs on a youthful male head begin to reduce in number almost as soon as men reach their teenage years.

The rate and extent of the hair loss is governed by genes, and Mr. Stevens says it’s a myth that men should look to their mother’s family for an indication of how their hair might recede.

Like hair color, patterns of balding can be inherited from either side of the family and from several generations back,­ which is why brothers can have completely different amounts of hair.

But what should a balding man say to a hairdresser? Honesty and a good close crop. The comb-over or any other cunning coiffure is not going to fool anyone.

Comments from men around the globe taken from an article published recently in the BBC:

I used to have long hair all my late teens and twenties and early thirties. So to discover it thin on top and receding a little, I have now shaved it with a razor. People are used to it now, but deep down I hate it and am depressed about it. I don’t want long hair for my age, but just a good head of hair so I don’t have to shave all the time. I don’t like any photos with me in, so I guess it’s a major problem with me. I have less confidence and think I’ll remain single.

Andy, Scotland

I used to have long flowing locks a la Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain in the ’90s now at 29 I’m a virtual skin head. I put it down to too much hair dye, late nights and a diet of fags and black coffee in my late teens and early twenties. I used to get far more abuse walking down the street because of having hair than I do now. A bald head makes you look well’ard!

Rob, Norwich

Isn’t hiring rent boys rather an odd way to assert your masculinity?

Chandra, London, England

Had a ponytail for a long time, then my hair began thinning on top. Created my own ‘Millenium Dome’ at the start of 2000, clipping it short all over and bald on top. Raised cash for charity too. It’s much easier to look after, I can trim it myself without small-talking with hairdressers about holidays, and it doesn’t bother me at all, though it gives my mates much amusement. Also it’s something to rub when you need to think hard! But you need a baseball cap when it’s very hot or cold. Anyone going bald – just get over it, it’s no big deal!

Jason Mills, Accrington, UK

I have two sons 20 and 23, both lost almost all their hair in their teens as did their grandfather. It hasn’t affected their attraction to the opposite sex, so I think these precious males have to accept that they just aren’t as attractive in middle age as they were in their youth – with or without hair.

Janet Georghiou, Windsor

As a balding man of 25, the concept of having a’solar panel for a sex machine’ on top of my head certainly appeals!

John Ferguson, Edinburgh

I’ll admit that I am slightly torn about the issue. Although part of me would love to salvage the few strands of hair left on my head and even get a few extra ones, at the end of the day, this ugly mug I was born with is mine, whether I like it or not. And I am not entirely convinced that a full head of hair would magically transform me into any kind of Adonis.

Steven, Shrewsbury

I was bald by the age of 21. Many women find it sexy, I find it convenient to clean-shave once a week rather than pay ridiculous amounts of money to have a hair-cut once a month. Never got me down, since I was never a stud so I have built my confidence based on my brains, not on my looks. Never really liked my hair anyway since it was curly and unmanagable.

Elias Kostopoulos, Athens, Greece

I’ve recently joined the bald gang as I approach 30. I had long hair for over 10 years, something crucial to a fan of heavy metal, but like life, it’s something to accept, deal with and move on. Buy yourself some hair trimmer and get with enjoying life, you ain’t dead yet!

Dave, Southampton

I started to lose my hair when i was in my early 20’s. I used to have a great head of hair and first noticed it thinning at the front when I was 21. By the time I started Uni at 23 it had become noticeable. Friends and family were kind saying it was my imagination. It really upset me and i used to wonder why it had started so young with me. I was always conscious of it and it nearly destroyed me. One day at around 27 years old i shaved it and i felt relieved. I did not have to hide it any more and was out in the open. I do think that it has harmed my chances with girls. I am not bad looking and never had to try too hard. Now I’m bald I have to try ten times harder than I used to. I have to develop all kinds of strategies. Its hard work!

Richard, London

I have two sons. One 48 years with a mass of hair. The other 39 years with a bald head. Their father/uncle/grandfather/grandmother/aunt/myself all have very thick hair so for some reason my youngest son has different genes. I must add that he has not had a problem with his lack of hair, unless he hides it well.

Doreen Whittaker, Surrey

I started losing my hair very early on, in my early 20’s. It did have a depressing affect on me, as I thought that I was no longer as attractive as I had been. Looking back, I can’t believe what an arrogant and vain prat I was. The turning point finally came when I bought some electronic clippers and shaved it all off. I felt better, there was no chance of me resorting to a comb-over and my self-esteem went up again. I’ve never looked back since then. And I’m getting married next year!

Marc Jones, Chingford, London, UK

I agree that we must be honest about baldness. You can’t really fool anyone. Sure it is great to have a full head of hair, but most men don’t after a certain age. I’ve seen all sorts of silly cures here (Malaysia) and nothing works, snake oils and all sorts. The key is to look at yourself in a positive way … be bold and bald … some find this attractive! It is also far more comfortable, a close crop makes me feel better than a length of locks. There is plenty of successful bald men, just stay away from british politics though.

Bill, Malaysia

It’s perfectly acceptable for a man to lose his hair, whatever his age…. provided he keeps what’s left very short. The men that attempt to cover it up, just highlight the fact and draw attention to it! A lot of men look more attractive with a shaven head.

Rachel, Southampton

What an absolute load of tosh, using losing ones hair as an excuse for insecurity. I started losing my hair in my early 20’s and just accepted is as part of life. It’s caused no crisis the conscious effect it had was it made me go for a shorter hairstyle. Now some 30 years later that I’m almost totally bald I just have my remaining hair cropped every few weeks. People who have ‘issues’ with hair loss are, in my opinion, using the hair loss as an excuse for a deeper insecurity.

Paul Ostermeyer, Milton Keynes, UK

My partner has a bald head and looks better now than he did as a youngster. I find it very attractive in a man. It’s a bold statement and although not always a choice for men, gives them more masculinity to their image. If your bald, don’t cover it up. There are lots of women like myself who adore the look!

Angela Ross, Sandhurst Berkshire

At 49 my hair is still long and thick. I have the most negative comments about it from balding or bald males. Do I care – nah!

Martyn Hlman, York

Summary

 In my world, having a full head of hair pales in comparison to having a full load of cash. Financial security renders the issue moot. And while having both is better, I have never once heard any woman complain about her husband’s hair loss when travelling on a private jet.

Furthermore, when assessing a dating candidate, most women I know look at a man’s financial shape, followed closely by his physical condition, and pretty much ignore the rest.

In the end, they just don’t care enough to make a difference. In fact, a little hair loss may be just what the doctor ordered as it will make whatever the woman feels a bit insecurely about balance the scales.

How To Avoid “Old Man Flat Butt”

RL0Zov6Nothing quite says old like a flat butt!

I can’t help but visualize a hole drilled into a sheet of plywood.

Anyway, I’ve discussed this issue on more occasions than I care to count because I see more of this than I care to see.   

~~~

Okay, we all age and die.

~~~

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get started.

~~~

There are many reasons why men suffer flat butts.

Here are a few:

1] Low Testosterone Levels

Among other things, Low T decreases sex drive, and thus, the motivation to look one’s best.

Why would a guy with Low T focus on the shape of his butt when his biggest concern is how to get through the rest of his life without joint pain?

Looking good in a pair of designer jeans is not his objective. 

But raise his T levels and all of a sudden he’s back in the gym, visiting a divorce attorney and signing on to an Internet dating service.

2] The Endurance-Sports-Addicted

You’ll notice that as men age they many do more endurance sports, like triathlon where they swim, bike and run.

The reason for this is simple: They aren’t ballistic. You can swim, bike and run into a freaking trance until there’s nothing left of you but skin and bones.

Soon, testosterone levels flatten out along with any and all body fat, and suddenly, the butt disappears.

While these guys tend to look great in the pool, put them in clothing and it’s like – where did he go?

3] The Clinically Depressed

Some men are more accepting of life’s changes and just go with the flow. Their wives are old and fat and they’re resigned to a life of the just happy to be alive mentality.

What they’re happy about I don’t know.

These are men who are shocked to meet someone like me who dares point out that none of this is inevitable, that they can do something about their deteriorated conditions and fading relevance that reinforces their decline.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try to get through, many have lived for so long in this depressive and vegetative mindset that no matter what anybody says to them, it’s like a dream that vanishes the second they open their eyes and see that same old world.

It’s like Stockholm Syndrome where they keep going back to what’s familiar.

It bears noting that many older men accept depression as a normal part of aging and life in general, and therefore, cannot fathom a world in its absence.

DATA POINTS

1] As men age, total testosterone levels decline. Free testosterone (testosterone not bound in the blood to sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG)) levels decline more rapidly than total testosterone. Studies have shown that total testosterone decreases by approximately 30% in healthy men between the ages of 25 and 75. Free testosterone levels decline even more significantly with decreases of approximately 50%. However, only about 1 in 5 men have a total testosterone level that falls below the normal range. Fortunately, many healthy lifestyle choices, such as heavy resistance training and aerobic exercise, quality sleep, and a healthy diet can actually increase testosterone production naturally.

Will Testosterone Replacement Therapy Cure All of the Ailments Associated with Aging?

NO.

Testosterone replacement therapy will not make up for poor diet, lack of exercise, and a generally unhealthy lifestyle. It is not a magic bullet, nor will it reverse aging.

For those with low testosterone, combining proper diet, exercise, good sleep, and other positive lifestyle modifications with testosterone replacement therapy can make you stronger and leaner and feel better.

Of course, it’s kind of a Catch-22, because when your levels are low you’re not motivated to make changes in your lifestyle unless you’re surrounded by people who believe that life doesn’t end at 60.

2] Studies consistently show that high-volume endurance exercises reduces baseline androgen hormones by 20-40 percent. The androgen hormones include testosterone, estrogen, and DHEA.

Endurance exercise leads to larger acute elevations of the key stress hormones cortisol. Excess cortisol has a catabolic effect on muscle tissue, breaking it down and leading to persistent inflammation.

In other words, you can’t put on a tight, round butt when your hormones are flat.

3] Depression as normal.

Feeling sad or emotional is the main symptom of depression. But for many men that isn’t the primary depression symptom. For example, headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, irritability or chronic pain can sometimes indicate depression.

You may not recognize how much your symptoms affect you, or you may not want to admit to yourself or to anyone else that you’re depressed. But ignoring, suppressing or masking depression with unhealthy behavior won’t make it go away.

From my experience, many older men simply accept depression as a normal part of the aging process. Why would being older not make one depressed?

For one thing, you look worse than you did when you were young.

But what many men fail to see is that you don’t have to look like twigs from dried shrubs glued together and then coated in a thin sheet of rubber.

~~~

CONCLUSION

See a primary care physician for a blood test, a psychiatrist for a clinical diagnosis and a personal trainer to keep you out of a nursing home.

Then do what women do and wear that butt with pride.

They’ll thank you for it, trust me.

FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, THESE ARE THE BEST EXERCISES FOR GLUTES

1] Squats

2] Gluteus kickbacks

3] Pelvic tilts

4] Lunges

5] Bridges

6] Deadlifts

7] Step-ups

8] Deep leg presses

You’re welcome.

The “Old Man” and the Motorcycle

Memorial-Day3-580x464Nothing quite says midlife crisis like the Harley Davidson Motorcycle, right?

Another day, another stereotype.

I’m accused of being in the midst of one for many reasons, not least of which being that I have a young girlfriend.

1] It’s all about money.

2] He’s intimidated by women his own age.

3] He’s a narcissist who can stomach his own reflection.

yada yada …

It never ends.

Not to bury the lead, I don’t own a motorcycle – but I find it interesting on many levels.

For one thing, I like it’s group nature. It’s an activity – and for many, lifestyle – that people of all socioeconomic backgrounds can share.

And it’s also damn manly in the traditional sense most men think of it. Think Steve McQueen in The Great Escape.

I think of it as an antidote to the PC virus.

I’m also drawn to the sense of adventure, hanging out with a bunch of guys who, after decades of work, family and Little league, are finally able to bond once again over beer and broads.

It’s an adult rite of passage where the holy “hog” unlocks the key to death with dignity for all, the penultimate send-off into oblivion, finger in the wind at the Devil’s Crossroads.

Come on, tell me you’re not intrigued.

One last shot at youthful defiance.

Don’t tell me you don’t watch those old Zeppelin videos on YouTube in the dead of night.

A 2010 market study by J. D. Power & Associates discovered that the average motorcyclist in the United States is a man who is about 50 years old, and Forbes Magazine confirms that the “sweet spot” for motorcycle buyers is the mid 40s to the early 50s. The problem is especially acute for Harley Davidson, as the 109 year-old company has a customer base that is almost as old as it is. It may just be an urban legend that Harley handlebars are now designed to comfortably support a beer belly during a ride, but it makes sense, given the fact that most older men [not to mention younger men] are out of shape.

Nonetheless, “Google” searches turn up ad after ad of sexily clad young women and handsome, fit young men to fuel the fantasies of middle-aged guys. Motorcycle manufacturers lure older buyers with a promise of a return to their youth and vitality: Male bystanders watch with a mixture of respect and envy, as the women of the town are smitten by the eye candy rolling into town. The riders wink at the ladies and act like the masters of all that they beheld, since they could now afford the luxury of motoring slowly through town.

Yea, and everything else in the universe is also reduced to a cultural stereotype.

My point in all of this is, WHO CARES?

If a guy wants to ride a motorcycle after spending his life chasing the dollar let him have his 2nd Summer.

I agree that Harley’ are loud and obnoxious. So is my stereo system.

Getting older is a drag, folks. We’re gonna act out.

This is because there’s not a damn thing we can do about universal absolutes, so we will absolutely, positively garnish the journey to make the ride smoother.

I might add that many guys ride for charities, raising lots of money for good causes. Others just for the hell of it. So what?

These guys are tough enough to deflect your punchlines, ageist stereotypes, and general ridicule.

Time Magazine in June of 2014, wrote “It’s bike night at the Harley-Davidson Museum near downtown Milwaukee . . . bike night in Milwaukee sure looks like Old White Guy’s Night.”

Green with envy.

~~~

Life is supposed to have a beginning, a middle and an end. The same ones, usually.

But for many, myself included, the story arcs are backwards.

‘Dad Bod’ Coming to a Store Near You!

30C0BA1000000578-3425007-image-m-39_1454237321408Mattel’s new ‘Dad Bod’ doll…

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3425007/Where-s-Dad-Bod-Ken-Twitter-calls-plastic-doll-beer-belly-Mattel-s-curvy-new-Barbie-unveiled.html

One of the many sacrifices we health-oriented older men make is the enjoyment of eating bad things that taste good. 

To us, food is fuel. Nothing more.

I know. Depressing, right?

Not really.

See, the payoff is not looking [and feeling] like a Mattel ‘Dad Bod’ doll.

For those of you who don’t already know, ‘Dad Bod’ is the physical representation of what the typical middle-aged man looks like.

Of course, I don’t know any of these people personally because I live in a big city.

Here, pot bellies constitute Class-A misdemeanors, punishable by hard time at a “wellness” center that specializes in testosterone implants, orals and injectables, coupled with psychiatric counseling for clinical depression.

However, in smaller places where appearance and good health are secondary to gluttony and death in slow motion, being too fit after a certain age is a Class-A felony.

 

Alpha Woman Blues

angry-womanExcerpt from #urbandystrophy, the book:

Some unpleasant facts:

“[Successful] Men do not give a crap how successful a woman is. This is why you see very successful men marrying bartenders, flight attendants, and spin class instructors. What do we call the very tiny percentage of men who do care? Gold-diggers.

Women do care how successful a man is. This does not make them gold-diggers, unlike men who feel the same way.

These two basics mean this: (1) The more successful a man becomes, the greater his choices are when it comes to women, since he can date any level of successful woman, and (2) the more successful a woman becomes, the lesser her choices are when it comes to men, since she wants to date a man at least close to her in success.

A successful man can choose from you and a billion other women, and as a successful woman, you can only choose from less than 1% of men.

Men love very feminine women, and often equate successful women’s “power” with masculine energy, much as most men see female bodybuilders as having the same. Is this fair? I don’t say. All is fair in love and war to the victor, and none to the vanquished. This is why you don’t find so many single “caregivers”—nurses, waitresses, child care workers, and so on.

How does a woman get around this? She marries in grad school or newly-minted. At that point, a man still sees her as feminine. They have kids, and bind/bond together. Some of these relationships last even when the woman develops that same powerful masculine energy, and some do not. Finding a non-gold-digging man, after developing this masculine energy, is almost impossible.

You need to understand that men are not “intimidated” by you and your friends. They are simply not attracted to you.

Finally, your comment that your single, successful male friends were “having too much fun” to marry says it all—even though I managed to “date” (read “sleep with”) plenty of beautiful girls and women, I was beyond thrilled to meet a woman my own age at 34—who I married—and find a best friend I respect to spend my life with. My life went from “having fun” to living life. We are childless by choice—”child-free”—and continue to travel on our voyage of creative projects and leisure.

You made choices, and you should accept them. Blaming men for being “intimidated” is bullshit. You have simply become someone that men don’t particularly want to hook up with, compared to a nurturing, feminine waitress.

Hope this helped and that you can accept a nice gold-digger into your life—there is NOTHING wrong with that. Men do it all the time, and find happiness.” Anonymous

~~~

To be fair, older men in the absence of money are in the same boat.

We both need something to sell.

Again, it’s all in Urban Dystrophy.

The Cure for Existential Angst, Guaranteed.

Three years ago my trainer stitched this together this little as a reminder to me that aging doesn’t always follow a predictable path, that it is possible to slow it all down — including the fading relevance older men often feel when they can no longer throw a baseball without looking like an ex-president during one of those ceremonial first pitches.

Life only wins when you fade, not when you die. j.r.