Hardly.
Does anyone actually believe that a bunch of rich and entitled Baby Boomer rock stars could create The Dark Side of the Moon?
The following is a list of 10 Boomers who followed a similar fate:
1] David Bowie
2] Mick Jagger
3] Eric Clapton
4] Robert Plant
5] Jimmy Page
6] Bob Dylan
7] Billy Joel
8] Elton John
9] Alice Cooper
10 Neil Young.
Obviously, there’s something to be said for youth and immortality, in spite of the contradiction in terms.
Male Grooming Arnold Ferrier Photo Bill Morton
As you will note in the article [above], chest shaving has become commonplace.
It’s also one of many manifestations of what many middle-aged men do once they have achieved a considerable measure of success.
Without that one element [success], there is no rationale for self-idolatry.
~~~
I know this guy in the restaurant business.
When he started out, it was all humility; dressing down, shaking hands, strung out in the quest for relevance.
Then over time and a lot of hard work, his efforts paid off.
He became the proud co-owner of a successful string of hip urban bistro’s with lots of national notice.
Eventually, like others of new-found success, he upgraded his car, his home…his lifestyle.
But something else happened as well: He changed his appearance. All of it.
His once thin frame now boasts long, lean muscle wrapped in a bronze glaze.
His chest, arms, back and legs are completely shaven.
His clothing went from $16 Haynes 100% cotton Tees to $180 John Varvatos V-Neck Jersey Knits.
His Timex “Ironman” was replaced with an assortment of bracelets of various materials and designs; the accouterments of celebrities, rock stars…and wealthy older men who don’t have to care what you think of them, which is how you know they’ve “arrived.”
Gone are the days of the obligatory handshake with a smile.
That’s also been upgraded to a certain vibe of self-righteous aloofness suggestive of someone who now resents how much ass they had to kiss to get to where they are, and now its payback time.
~~~
Without success, older men fade.
They don’t have the fuel to propel change.
In this sense, success is like a transfusion.
While average people adapt to circumstances and resign themselves to an average existence, successful tend to men stand out in crowds.
Even those who practice humility cannot hide the lining of confidence that follows them wherever they go.
In a way, they’re like beacons of hope in an otherwise paralyzing existential nightmare.
And people wonder why The Kardashians are America’s first family.
Dan Housey, 58, in New Orleans
This site has become a beacon for Baby Boomers who work hard, play hard and live right.
Winners, all of them.
Images like this one sent to me yesterday make all the hard work we do around here worth the effort.
Onward!
Congratulations, Dan!
Note: Feel free to share this on social media.
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/feb/14/elderly-overweight-lower-mortality-risk
“…being overweight was a major risk factor for many health problems, including Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, stroke, coronary disease, cancer and loss of physical function. “These are strong enough reasons to strive for a healthy weight and avoidance of obesity. Moreover, given all the adverse effects of obesity on health, it isn’t biologically plausible that being overweight would lower mortality risks.”
In recent years there has been quite a bit of “noise” about older adults [65+] experiencing longer lives when their BMI [body mass index] is slightly above federal standards.
The rationale is that, perhaps, in cases when people are undergoing surgery or experience illness, they have physical “reserves” to draw from that keep them alive longer.
But at what cost?
If I had the choice to be 70 years old, but in poor health, or in great health up to the moment I died at, say, 70, I’d pick the later.
This real issue here is quality of life, not survival.
If all we managed to do was survive, why bother?
This is why this “living longer with extra fat” narrative is absurd as a practical matter.
Nonetheless, it bears noting that every study indicates that sedentary lifestyles, in general, are the leading cause of illness and premature death among older adults.
Just ask the guys in the above photograph.
“Kidult” [Wiki]: In the early 21st century, there was reporting that for an adult to have interests traditionally expected only from children is not necessary an anomaly. The entertainment industry was quick to recognize the trend, and introduced a special category, “kidult,” of things marketable for kids and adults alike. Enormous successes of films such as Shrek and Harry Potter, of books traditionally targeted for teenagers and the fact that Disneyland is among the world’s top adult (without kids) vacation destinations seem to indicate that “kidulthood” is a rather mainstream phenomenon. And unlike puer aeternus, “rejuveniles” successfully marry adult responsibilities with non-adult interests. When Christopher Noxon appeared on The Colbert Report on June 29, 2006, he remarked that “There’s a big difference between childish and childlike”.
~~~
“Normal” people look at guys like me and wonder what happened?
“Is he ever going to grow up?”
“Why is he not out-of-shape?”
“Why doesn’t he have an age-appropriate girlfriend? Is he intimidated by women his own age?”
“Is the young woman in his home a gold-digger, or did her father not love her enough?”
“Why doesn’t he have children?”
“Is he too selfish, narcissistic and self-absorbed to share his life with others?”
“Why doesn’t he dress more conservatively like other men his age?”
“Why does he dress like that?”
“Why doesn’t he think like we do?”
“Why is he trying to be 20 all over again?”
Oh lord, I could go on…
~~~
To be perfectly honest with you, I have always been this way.
For one thing, I have always been my own man.
I worked for myself, set my own schedule, led my own life.
All I had to do was be good at what I did, treat my clients well, and pay a CPA to keep me out of jail.
After a while the freedom and independence this afforded me became part of my identity.
The lifestyle made me more resilient, self-reliant. Those acquired attributes are just part of the process of independence.
And while it hasn’t always been easy, the pay-off covered the periodic turbulence–10-fold.
To all the men my age who continue to live life as fully–and intensely–as we did back in the day, congratulations.
You’ve officially earned a legion of haters who wish they had the balls to have done exactly the same thing.
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
~ e.e. cummings
~~~
For more reading on this topic, the following article by Robert Firestone Ph.D. is illuminating.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience/201306/six-aspects-being-adult
~~~
FURTHER SUGGESTED READING
http://bigthink.com/errors-we-live-by/the-death-of-adulthood-rise-of-kidults
~~~
Typical habitat of the “Kidult.”
Mine…
Billy Joel and Alexis Roderick in surprise 4th of July wedding.
Folks, it doesn’t matter what the difference in age – or any of the other line items to which we’re supposed to adhere in order to have normal, well-adjusted relationships].
Love finds us wherever we happen to be standing at any given moment.
Be ready for whatever the hell it looks like.
The article below cites 40 bullet points that claim to determines “middle-age” status:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/middle-age_n_3830194.html
Oh Dear God. Here we go…
According the article, the top 40 signs of middle age [55-plus] are as follows.
Notes:
Between each entry are my comments based on personal experience as a middle-age man living in a large metropolitan area.
You may find many of my comments surprising. Or not.
Here’s their list:
1) Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and TVs
Comments: This does not apply to me, but it does for others…many others. But most of them are in their 80’s and couldn’t care less.
2) Finding you have no idea what ‘young people’ are talking about
Comments: Again, this doesn’t apply to me because I’m around people of all generations. Disconnecting is a big problem, particularly for older men.
3) Feeling stiff
Comments: I don’t know what “feeling stiff” means in this context, but I have to assume it’s inflexibility, which is not a problem when you stretch, foam roll, and circuit train.
4) Needing an afternoon nap
Comments: On the days I don’t workout I don’t nap. On the days I do, I’m down for the count.
5) Groaning when you bend down
Comments: After dead-lifting hundreds of pounds, the attendant soreness makes me groan just getting out of bed.
6) Not remembering the name of any modern bands
Comments: I didn’t know there were any modern bands. Most of the bands I listen to still tour.
7) Talking a lot about your joints/ailments
Comments: Everyone who works out talks about ailments because we’re looking for work-a rounds, in most cases. As for going on and on about one bullshit ache and pain after the next, I leave it to the guys who threw up their hands at age 50.
8) Hating noisy pubs
Comments: I don’t go to pubs because I’m not much of a drinker. As for restaurants, I don’t like a lot of noise because I can’t hear the conversations, which is why I’m there in the first place.
9) Getting more hairy -– ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc.
Comments: Yes to all of the above, which is why I make sure that stuff doesn’t get out of control. You have to pay attention. Most older men don’t, hence the punchlines.
10) Thinking policemen/teachers/doctors look really young
Comments: I have no idea where this came from because my GP is 10 years older than I am and a triathlete. As for teachers and policemen, it never really crossed my mind.
11) Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
Comments: A night in the pool followed by a glass of wine is more like it. When I was single, I’d take the night on the town in a heartbeat.
12) You don’t know any songs in the top ten
Comments: I don’t know any songs in the top ten by name, but I do recognize a Katy Perry song that makes my skin crawl.
13) Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
Comments: I choose shoes with soft soles because they are more comfortable. All of my Prada’s have soft soles.
14) Taking a flask of tea on a day out
Comments: My trainer who’s 35 carries tea around with him, as do a lot of young guys in the gym who want a peak workout. Caffeine is a key ingredient in many sports drinks. I just do the morning coffee and nap when necessary.
15) Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
Comments: I don’t garden, but like trees if that helps.
16) Thinking there is nothing wrong with wearing an anorak
Comments: I didn’t know what an anorak was until I Googled it. But no, I don’t wear one and have no idea why anyone else would, either.
17) Forgetting people’s names
Comments: This has been a problem since high-school, but I’m working on it.
18) Booking on to a cruise
Comments: I hate the idea of being stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of people I don’t know, so no.
19) Misplacing your glasses/bag/car keys etc.
Comments: I’m getting better at this. I started reading this book on mindfulness, which reminded me to try and focus on one thing at a time, rather than 6000.
20) Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
Comments: My name is Jay Rusovich and I am a TV show addict.
21) Gasping for a cup of tea
Comments: I don’t even know what this means.
22) Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
Comments: I don’t know the meaning of “bed socks.” But I don’t wear socks in bed because I have blankets.
23) Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
Comments: I’m into mid-century modern and contemporary.
24) When you start complaining about more things
Comments: When I was in high-school I complained about the lack of freedom to come and go as I pleased. Now I complain about long waits for room service. Tie.
25) Listening to the Archers
Comments: I don’t know what – or who – the Archers are, and refuse to Google it/them.
26) You move from radio one to radio two
Comments: I don’t understand this one at all.
27) Joining the National Trust
Comments: The what?
28) Being told off for politically incorrect opinions
Comments: All the time. Always have.
29) Flogging the family car for something sportier
Comments: I’m childless and living with a woman half my age. There is no “family car.”
30) When you can’t lose six pounds in two days anymore
Comments: I lost 5 pounds of water on a two-hour bike ride yesterday.
31) You get shocked by how racy music videos are
Comments: I assume this is a veiled reference to Miley Cyrus performances, which are tepid compared to the shit I’ve seen, and personally experienced.
32) Taking a keen interest in the garden
Comments: Knock if off with the garden shit, already.
33) Buying travel sweets for the car
Comments: We carry stuff most people associate with surviving a global apocalypse. “Sweets” are not on that list.
34) Considering going on a ‘no children’ cruise for a holiday
Comments: Why would any adult want to hang out around a bunch of children?
35) When you know your alcohol limit
Comments: I have always known my alcohol limit. My body tells me the same way it did back in college.
36) Obsessively recycling/ knowing the collection dates
Comments: I just watch what the neighbors do. Most of them are actual adults.
37) Always carrying a handy pack of tissues
Comments: WTF?
38) Falling asleep after one glass of wine
Comments: Most people who workout a lot fall asleep after a glass of water.
39) Spending more money on face creams/anti-aging products
Comments: Guilty as charged. But my girlfriend outspends me tenfold.
40) Preferring a Sunday walk to a lie in
Comments: I’ll take the later, thank you. I need a day off once a week.
~ ~ ~
NEED MORE MIDLIFE BASHING? THE HP IS HERE TO HELP, AGAIN…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/22/signs-youre-not-as-young-as-you-used-to-be_n_7293432.html
1. You walk into the kitchen to get something but you forget what it was when you get there.
Comments: I remember walking into my college library as a senior and forgetting what book I was looking for – during finals.
2. Every horizontal surface in your house has a pair of reading glasses on it.
Comments: Both sunglasses and reading glasses, actually.
3. You are regularly asked why you still have a telephone land line.
Comments: The land line is strictly a back-up system. I still don’t know the number. But my 84-year-old mother uses her land line regularly.
4. You carry cash and use it to pay for things.
Comments: If I have a few 5’s in my pocket it’s for valets, not luncheon meat.
5. You still figure out the tip in your head instead of using your phone calculator or an app.
Comments: Since the bill for dinner is usually $150, I tip $30. The day I use an App to calculate 20% to the penny, shoot me.
6. You check the menu online before you eat in a restaurant because you know you won’t be able to see it once you are there.
Comments: I never look at a menu. That’s what waiters are for.
7. You frequently choose restaurants based on their parking situation.
Comments: When you live in a big city, you need valets in order to find a parking space. Why would I walk two blocks to a restaurant?
8. When you park at the mall, you take a photo of where you left your car.
Comments: I have never heard of anyone doing this, but I assume the writer does.
9. You get invited to parties that start later than you like to go to bed.
Comments: We usually go to bed around midnight, so if the party starts at midnight, we opt out.
10. More than once you’ve grabbed the Ben-Gay thinking it was the toothpaste tube.
Comments: I started wearing readers at 39, and since that time, I can’t count the number of things I’ve squirted in the wrong places.
11. Loud music bothers you unless you’re the one playing it.
Comments: I get upset if music isn’t loud enough to hear, since I lost a lot of my hearing listening to loud music.
12. You rushed out and bought the iPhone6 Plus and love it — even if your kids mock you.
Comments: I bought the Iphone 6 because the ‘Plus” is the size of my Ipad.
13. You have different glasses for reading, for driving, for the computer and for going to the movies.
Comments: Just readers. Computers apparently don’t affect long distance vision.
14. You no longer rush to the dermatologist over every new sun spot.
Comments: I do, in fact, rush to the dermatologist every time I see a new sun spot. Some things never change.
15. You think people driving the speed limit are driving too fast.
Comments: I pretty much always think people are driving too slow.
16. You see items from your youth on “Antiques Roadshow” — going for top dollar.
Comments: Yea, I agree with this one.
17. You prefer a coffee maker with just an on/off switch.
Comments: I like having options, which is why I use the timer. But a simple “on-off” is good, too.
18. You understand that the only toppings on a pizza should be cheese and pepperoni.
Comments: The only ingredients I don’t use are cheese and pepperoni.
19. You can’t pronounce quinoa.
Comments: KEENWAH. Happy?
20. Kale will always be just a salad bar decoration to you.
Comments: Kale gets stuck in my teeth, which is why it’s often just decoration.
21. Shaving your legs is something you do only when going to the beach or a pool party.
Comments: No, I shave them all the time. So does my girlfriend.
22. You eyebrows turn white, if you have any eyebrows left.
Comments: Yup, whitish, but full.
23. Buying a new appliance makes you happy.
Comments: Who doesn’t love new appliances?
24. You fall asleep whenever you try to watch TV.
Comments: I have never fallen asleep watching television, but my girlfriend does it all the time, and she’s half my age.
25. You pick movies based on the theaters with fully reclining seats.
Comments: I don’t like sitting in dark rooms filled with complete strangers.
26. You begin to “get” cruises.
Comments: I’ve never been on a cruise and never intend to.
27. You wear your Fitbit to the mall and immediately check how far you’ve just walked.
Comments: My Fitbit is still sitting on my desk after giving me wrist rash.
28. You don’t have operations anymore; you have “procedures.”
Comments: The difference between an operation and a procedure is anesthesia. If I have to go under, I’m having an operation.
29. You wish your doctor took the laxatives that he gives you as pre-colonoscopy prep.
Comments: I don’t care what my doctor takes as long as he’s not tripping during the procedure.
30. The first thing you look for in an obituary is the person’s age and what killed them.
Comments: I don’t read obituaries unless I’m doing research.
31. You remember when you used to think having hemorrhoids was a big deal.
Comments: I’ve never had hemorrhoids.
32. Your idea of a great date night involves take-out food and Netflix.
Comments: I’m on board with this one.
33. When you come upon old photos of yourself, you think “I was so thin then.” All the time.
Comments: I was very thin back then, and lucky not to be locked up.
34. You are a big fan of yellow sticky notes.
Comments: I use pink ones.
35. You cut off the wine early enough to take the sleeping aid.
Comments: When I take a sleep aid, it’s with frozen fruit, a slice of low fat cheese and some pita chips.
36. You wonder when exactly it was that liberal you became a fiscal conservative.
Comments: I’ve always considered myself a fiscal conservative, even when I didn’t have a dime.
37. Public transportation makes you uneasy.
Comments: What’s public transportation?
38. You understand why people pay to upgrade their seat on planes.
Comments: So does Justin Bieber.
39. Running shoes are your go-to footwear — and not for running.
Comments: I would generally agree with this one.
40. You buy drugstore hair coloring by the case when it’s on sale.
Comments: The only thing I get by the case is pet food.
41. You’ve had conversations with friends about the best source of bran.
Comments: I have never had a conversation about bran.
42. You know first-hand that generics aren’t as good as the real deal.
Comments: If the generics work, I buy them. If not, I buy the name brands.
43. You pour egg whites into your coffee thinking it was fat-free creamer.
Comments: Seriously?
44. Your kids are all taller than you.
Comments: None of the animals in this house are taller than me.
45. You do some mental math before adopting a new puppy or kitten.
Comments: No I just grab whatever’s dragging garbage across the street.
46. You say things like, “My next house won’t have so many stairs.”
Comments: I said this 20 years ago and still have a lot of stairs.
47. You can’t remember the last time you fell asleep and stayed asleep all night.
Comments: I usually sleep through the night. If not, I don’t remember waking.
48. You are finally remembering which is Medicare and which is Medicaid.
Comments: I still have to Google it.
49. Hotels no longer ask to actually see your AARP card before they give you a discounted rate.
Comments: Hotels never offer me a discount of any kind. In fact, most of them pad the bill.
50. You swear your feet are growing wider — because they are.
Comments: If my feet are wider it’s because I have more lean muscle mass, which would make anyone’s feet wider. Large animals have big feet, too.
SUMMARY
Folks, I could go on and on with this crap until the sun dies.
People love stereotyping Baby Boomers; putting millions of us into neat little boxes that can be stacked on shelves and labelled.
But what happens when you don’t fit the stereotypes?
You put a smile on your face and middle finger in the air.
Bruce Jenner [65] as “Caitlyn”
http://www.tmz.com/2015/06/01/bruce-jenner-photo-caitlyn-woman-vanity-fair/
First of all, I don’t care what Bruce Jenner, or, for that matter, anyone else does with their body.
Some people like tattoos, others pierce their genitals.
There are women [and men] who spend the lion’s share of their time in the company of plastic surgeons. Some say it improves their chances of scoring an acting job on Law and Order.
Others undergo procedures they think will attract the attention of rich, powerful men with penchants for younger women, in spite of the fact that most of them are in their middle 40’s.
Enter Bruce Jenner, a one-time Olympic gold medalist, and now a regular on the reality television series, Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
I remember him back in their 80’s as the Wheaties guy.
He was all about being a fit, healthy man. All man.
But as we all come to know, what we see in life is rarely what’s behind the veil.
There are no simple set of right angels, balanced and aligned.
Jenner claimed he was never comfortable with who he was, that he never felt comfortable in the body of a man.
So like everyone else I know, he did something about it – mostly because he could afford to do something about it – and then decided to make it a crusade for the transgendered community.
Win-win.
He’s both woman and celebrated advocate.
It kind of reminds me of Madonna, a woman in the throes of a very public crash-and-burn tied directly to her delusions of pop relevance.
They’re both shell’s of their former selves, but at this stage of the game, neither one of them are going out without a fight.
Whether it’s heavily Photoshopped press images, or scripted interviews, “relevance” will not be denied.
This does make for a compelling study in abnormal human psychology. It’s a textbook example of just how far a person is willing to go to satisfy self.
I certainly don’t criticize Jenner for tackling a debilitating psychiatric dilemma.
But I do question his decision as a parent to drag his daughters through what should have been a private family matter, accolades from the transgendered community notwithstanding.
Then again, one could also argue that The Kardashians made their fortune on public disclosure, and Jenner’s transformation is just another angle in a never-ending story.
For me, the last thing in the world I would want to do is become a woman at age 65.
Hell, most women I know begin to feel invisible by age 40.
Now available on Amazon!
Ballsy, hardcore and bad ass real as it gets.
Print version to follow.
Knock yourselves out, and please review it should you feel so inclined!
LAUNCH DATE FOR DIGITAL VERSION ANNOUNCED ON MAY, 2015!
PRINT VERSION TO FOLLOW.
From Urban Dystrophy:
“You get back what others think you’re worth, not what you think you’re worth. And unless you can afford not to care, you better care. With practice, you’ll be able to determine your own relative value so you’re not disappointed by things you thought you deserved, but didn’t for reasons you may resent, but better get used to.”
“Most middle-aged men struggling to balance acquisition of wealth with fading relevance feel like characters in an apocalypse series with recurring story arcs.”
“I compete with popular culture every day, on every level, including in my love life where it’s particularly competitive.”
“I once knew a forty-two-year-old pharmaceutical rep that kept a list of mandatory line items prospective “boyfriends” had to meet. It sat on her iPad for easy reference. If I remember correctly, the last count was 22,328.”
“Eventually we all reach a point in life where we can no longer hit on young women without also being hit on by a bouncer.”
“In the old days, men had wives and mistresses. This was considered normal. It was understood that emotional intimacy in men was a sign of weakness, and therefore, if women wanted their men to remain strong and faithful to their marriages, mistresses were necessary.”
“At middle age, the situation becomes ten times worse. Although women are decades older than they were back in college, men still measure them against their 1980 yearbook picture, which is why most of the women they date were born about that time. This same pathology manifests in the perception that men and women age at different rates, even if they technically don’t.”
“Women say blessings are counted by the number of people who give you unconditional love. But, others contend that you still die alone, and that bouncing nickels off a flawless ass is worth the blind faith in miracles.”
We’ve also produced some limited edition t-shirts, should you be interested in brandishing the narrative!
The logo below:
