Without Savings Boomers Totally and Completely Screwed [with a few exceptions]

As everyone this age already knows, life is not exactly a joyride in the absence of cash.

You look down the road and there’s nothing to see but a tunnel and a light because there is nothing else.

http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2015/06/07/baby-boomers-face-it-if-youre-not-rich-now-youll-n.aspx

As everyone by now knows, the most important thing in the world is health followed closely by money.

The rest can wait.

According to Vanguard’s How America Saves 2014, which provides statistics about the more than 3 million people who have a defined contribution retirement plan managed by Vanguard, the median 401(k) balance for those over 55 was less than $75,000 in 2013:

How

Please explain to me how the hell you’re going to hang out in Cabo or Aspen without a large career income or passive income from investments?

You’re not.

You’re going to stay home with your cats and hope your death is swift and painless because the rest isn’t worth the journey.

TWO EXCEPTIONS

1] Yogis

2] Tenured University Professors

In the first case, the senior yogi may live in a tree, but women in his classes find his acetic existence and peaceful vibe an extraordinarily attractive alternative to the wolves of Wall Street.

So he can expect to get laid by beautiful women who don’t care what he doesn’t have until they do, at which time they go back to the wolves for another round.

Tenured university professors make a couple hundred grand a year, never lose their jobs, get Summers off, and hold the destinies of their students in their hands.

It kinda’ sells itself.

The only problem is that most women at ivy league schools envision large homes in nice neighborhoods, expensive cars, private schools for their kids, and at least 3 vacations a year.

Needless to say, his salary won’t cut that, nor will his eventual savings which are destined for social security support.

So we’re back to square one.

With this as a backdrop, how exactly do Baby Boomers acquire enough capital to retire comfortably without robbing the Federal Reserve or winning a slip and fall against Kroger?

First, they have to have something of value to sell that offers windfall potential.

What about their homes?

Yea, I’m laughing because homeowners between age 50 and 65 are most likely to carry a mortgage.

The percentage rose from 60% in 1992 to more than 70% by 2010.

What about saving more money?

For guys 50 and older looking at potentially 20 more years of putting whatever away, if you can invest an extra $5,000 per year for the next 15 years, you would have an extra $146,000 at age 65:

Returns

If you can leave it alone until 70, you could have approximately $220,000 in added net worth based on historical stock market averages.

But what kind of life are we looking at here?

Most people in better neighborhoods spend $200,000 in 6 months just maintaining their lifestyles.

You’ll be watching every single solitary bill, praying your roof doesn’t leak, and clipping coupons while annoying the people in line behind you at Whole Foods.

You’re better off dead.

The sad truth of the matter is that your priorities were ass-backwards back in your 20’s when you thought you were immortal because you could nail dates at the drop of a hat even if you couldn’t afford to take them to Jack-In-The-Box.

It didn’t take long to notice that no matter what you looked like all the wealthy older men were taking your girlfriends to the Bahamas for the weekend.

Then it dawned on you that youth and beauty only work for highly-precisioned gold-diggers of exceptional beauty; actors, models and entertainers with the wings of angels; and singers like Robert Plant.

And since you couldn’t find a niche for yourself in any of the above, you were screwed.

After all, what’s the point in getting old if you can’t afford to enjoy it?

People are always talking about people pursuing things they love.

But understand that love is always secondary to common sense.

If piano tuning does not pave the way for millions in an investment account by age 50, do something you hate.

You’ll love yourself in the end.

POSTSCRIPT

For you older men of average means who have daughters of exceptional beauty, please explain to them how to leverage what they do have in exchange for everything you don’t so you can piggy-back on their success.

You’re welcome.

~~~

A FEW TRUTHS ABOUT MONEY

1] Lots of money won’t make you happy, but not enough of it will make you miserable.

2] One million dollar homes in large cities are often tear downs situated in up and coming neighborhoods.

3] 250k/ year is considered upper middle class.

4] When politicians talk about raising taxes on “millionaires and billionaires” they’re including everyone who falls in #3.

5] The average 0ne bedroom suite at a luxury hotel property is $1000/night and everything else is a la carte.

6] Dining out in a big city usually costs $200 on up with wine and tip.

7] The average luxury automobile starts in the $80,000 range.

8] Whole Foods bills usually run 20k-30k/year with wine.

9] Luxury handbags usually run $2000, and women’s shoes, $500-1000 which you’ll need to keep in mind if you happen to live with a woman.

10] First Class airfare from Houston to Los Angeles is in the $1200 to $1400 range. Double it if you’re taking your girlfriend.

One Reason Older Men Like Me Work Out

The guy you see in the foreground is me.

Directly behind me is a 9-year-old kid –– my competitor.

We will both perform what is referred to as an “icky-shuffle” that most know as ladder work.

This particular movement requires a lot of focus and agility rarely seen in males my age, but even more notably — HIS!

Yea, I was just as blown away.

Rock on, kid!

Advertiser Stereotyping 101

Seriously?

Some people claim I’m in denial, that my chronological age has had such a devastating impact on my self-esteem that my only recourse is to pretend that I’m somewhere else in life.

This could not be farther from the truth.

My real problem is with stereotypes about aging, and how they never apply to me.

Ever notice that whenever there’s a product targeting “mature adults” the photo caption resembles the one above?

Who the hell are these people? Certainly not “me.”

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I never grew up. I was fortunate enough not to have to: No kids, always self-employed, fitness-obsessed, financially free.

I did what I wanted to do [more or less] and nothing has changed.

I have friends of all ages, both men and women; gay, straight and somewhere in between, religious and not…some brighter than others.

It doesn’t matter to me. The murkier the merrier as long as they’re good people who haven’t given up on themselves.

With this in mind, there are many “well-known and respected” blogs written in large part by physicians who target the Baby Boom generation.

The vast majority focus their attention on those at the very edge of that era, or people born somewhere in the vicinity of 1946.

The rest are ignored because they don’t fit the narrative.

In other words, if you’re not in your middle to late 60’s, you’re too young.

Nonetheless, these “medically-based” blogs are everywhere.

You can learn all about how to keep your aching joints healthy, check out the latest in pocket catheters, or discover the wonders of bingo.

Even my 83-year-old mother laughs at them, quite frankly.

This is why Baby Boomers like me feel so alienated by advertising that targets my age demographic.

For example, here’s a “typical” couple used in an ad for mature dating:

I know. Weird, right?

This is more like it:

So why don’t ads like this exist?

Because there aren’t enough people like this to justify the advertising cost, so they pander to the averages.

How about nutrition ads for dads that look like this?

…Instead of this:

I don’t personally know any couple that looks like this.

The woman could be his mother, for god’s sake.

But I have to assume that this is what advertisers think average couples look like.

Call me a juvenile delinquent, or clueless, or whatever. But it’s just not relevant to me or my demographic.

Here’s one more.

This is a typical group of older mature people lifting weights looks like:

Seriously?

This is what it looks like for me:

I’m not telling you that everyone I know is a consummate athlete.

But what I am saying is that many older men don’t come even close to fitting the stereotypes perpetrated by advertising agencies.

If I actually bought into the advertisers version of reality, I’d put a bullet in my head.

This isn’t a rant about denial. I know where I am in the scheme of things.

But I also know that I will never throw myself under the bus unless life takes a bigger chunk of flesh than I can afford to lose.

It better be huge ’cause I’m not going down without first going to the wall.

Remember, life’s not over ’til it’s over and not one second sooner.

10 RULES FOR SURVIVING THE BABY BOOM

1] DO WHAT YOU LOVE, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT PART-TIME.

2] WORKOUT ON A DAILY BASIS. IT’S THE VERY LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF.

3] CHALLENGE YOURSELF EVERY DAY.

4] GET A GRIP ON TECHNOLOGY. IT’S A NEW WORLD ORDER YOU DON’T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT OF.

5] CONNECT WITH PEOPLE, ALL PEOPLE. CONTRIBUTE, LISTEN, LEARN.

6] EAT CLEAN, LIVE CLEAN, THINK DIRTY THOUGHTS.

7] RUTS ARE LIKE SPEED-BUMPS. THEY COME AND GO. MAKE SURE THEY DON’T TAKE PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN YOUR LIFE.

8] NEVER, EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN’T DO, BE AND NOT BE.

9] BELIEVE IN YOURSELF OR NO ONE ELSE WILL, PARTICULARLY AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME.

10] YOU’RE ONLY AS IRRELEVANT AS YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE. STAY IN THE GAME OF LIFE AND YOU’LL GET ALL THE APPLAUSE YOU CAN HANDLE.

I only know this stuff because I see what happens to older men who buy into someone else’s version of the truth.

Godspeed.

Affluent Older Men Remain Targets of Scorn for Dating Beautiful Young Women […as if we give a crap]

Duncan Bannatyne, 66 & Nigora Whitehorn, 35

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11695827/Why-does-everyone-hate-it-when-rich-old-men-date-young-attractive-women.html

The fact that Bannatyne is rich and his girlfriend a native of Uzbekistan is all people need to know before piling on.

The familiar refrain from women is laced with the same tired adjectives: ““Cringe” “puke” “vomit” “creepy” in any order.

From young men it’s the all-too-familiar realization that “rich guys still get the girls.”

And feminists consider it a complete betrayal: “Women prostitute themselves and somehow betray those women who, for example, choose to tough it out in the workplace.”

I understand the vitriol, the envy.

I understand that it’s life out of order, and that it is threatening to those who want a predictable, linear story.

But that world is long gone, except in smaller enclaves outside of big cities where groups like Quakers live as people did 200 years ago.

From all of these stories – and there are more than I could possibly count in a lifetime – there are a few things I’d like to share with the detractors:

To young men —

1] Rather than hurling invective at your older brethren, you should relish the fact that in exchange for a life well lived, you earn bigger dividends down the road.

To young women —

2] For those with enough youth and beauty to barter, the 60-hour work week is a thing of the past.

To feminists —

3] Life’s a food chain.

Baby Boomers Edge Closer to Oblivion

Photo: Freya Najade

If You’re Lucky You Get Old is an exhibition by photographer Freya Najade, chronicling the first thing she learned from the elderly people she visited whilst traveling the United States. At a time where the elderly are ostracized, or, in Najade’s words, ‘hardly seem to exist’, conjuring images of ‘wrinkles, disease and decay’, the artist was surprised that the people she met and photographed were not only proud of their age but were ‘still falling in love and breaking up.

Many of you will find these images difficult to look at.

They are largely UN-retouched, straightforward, brutally honest.

In short, not something we see a lot of in in a culture obsessed with youth and beauty.

Most older people are invisible to us, irrelevant, and for all intents and purposes, gone.

But as the oldest Baby Boomers edge closer to 70, we’re about to fall victim to the very culture we created.

Of course, we don’t all age at the same rate.

This is a result of our lifestyle choices as you will see.

~~~

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3135853/Richard-Gere-s-new-squeeze-Alejandra-Silva-32-displays-body-tiny-purple-bikini-cosying-65-year-old-actor-yacht-Italy.html

Richard Gere is decades younger than the man in the above photo, but you’d only know this from a birth certificate.

Unlike many men his age, Gere has chosen to let himself go.

This is a choice, not an inevitable destiny.

That he is dating the stunning Alejandra Silva, 32, mother of one, only adds to the cliche that love is only as deep as one’s investment portfolio.

So let’s take a look at other men his age and then let you decide what constitutes “old”

If any of the following 5 men were seen in the company of a 32 year old woman, you’d never hear a word from critics who claim “it’s all money, honey,” followed closely by “Ewwww,” and, of course, the old standbys, “Creepy” and “cringe-worthy.”

1] Sting, 63

2] Bruce Springsteen, 65

3] Samuel L. Jackson, 66

Jeff Bridges, 65

Kurt Russell, 64

In this case, I chose rich, famous actors who’s job it is to stay fit.

But many civilians [men not known in the context of popular culture] who happen to be in their middle 60’s are even fitter.

Men who practice Crossfit, for example, are some of the fittest guys I have ever known, shaming men half their age.

It’s all a choice.

How much effort we’re willing to put forth to be the very best that we can be?

For many, it’s very little: Consume a few veggies [when absolutely, positively necessary], do a little walking…and maybe add a glass of water between shots of vodka.

This is normal, average.

For the rest of us, life is a full-on crucible filled with challenges no one ever thought we’d be strong enough to face.

But here we are in the midst of a never-ending war of attrition, doing what we have to do to stand tall in the face of adversity.

Talk about relevance.

Staying fit is the very definition of it, closely followed closely by money.

Of course, there is disagreement about the order, as evidenced by Richard Gere.

5 Steps to “Relevance” at Any Age

1] Be a famous rock ‘n roll musician

2] Be a famous actor

3] Write a bestselling novel that becomes a blockbuster movie.

4] Create a new social media platform, like Facebook.

5] Be a famous talk show host, because that’s what talk show hosts are…

Okay, okay I get it. Not everyone is a multi-millionaire celebrity actor-rock star-writer-creator-talk show host….blah blah blah…

But understand that not being in one of the aforementioned categories constitutes being “nobody’ in the context of popular culture.

Seriously.

Of course, most thinking people know that “relevance” isn’t measured by popular culture, though graduate level courses may soon be required to clear up the confusion.

MANIFESTATIONS OF THE PATHOGEN

Post something mildly controversial to any online article and you can count on someone responding with something along the lines of “Who are you?” “Go back to your dead end job!” “You’re a nobody! How much do you make?”

Of course, they could be addressing someone who discovered the cure for Tuberculosis, but it wouldn’t matter because they assume that people who do great things are on the cover of People Magazine, like the rest of the gods, beyond the breath and scope of man.

This is the voice of America’s collective unconscious: We are invisible. We don’t matter. No one cares.

This psycho-pathology then takes a dangerous turn: “I have to make them care. I have to make them notice me. I have to make myself matter [to them, not to me, because I can’t validate myself].”

Road rage is another manifestation of this nightmare: “You think I’m nobody? “Not for long, MF!”

Then the manifestos left by people who commit mass murder in schoolyards: “You will remember me. I will live forever!”

~~~

All of this is the back noise of our culture that affects people of all ages, races and creeds to one degree or another.

Take affluent older men, for example.

What makes them relevant if they happen not to fall into the aforementioned categories?

1] A desire – and ability to – engage people of all ages.

2] Staying in shape, serious shape.

3] Reading, listening, learning always.

4] Knowing technology, the lifeblood of our era.

5] Refusing to babble on about artificial hips, aching joints, and dead and dying friends.

6] Challenging themselves every day, even if it’s sitting still and at peace for 5 minutes a day.

7] Throwing their shoulders back and moving forward like they mean it, not like someone’s dragging them.

8] Staying clear of convention when it suits them.

9] Going to therapy to help separate self-perception from delusion.

10] Not allowing other people to determine how they feel about themselves.

People admire those who aren’t affected by other people, who live their own lives, true to themselves.

“There’s a wonderful sense of well-being that begins to circulate . . . up and down your spine. And you feel something that makes you almost want to smile. So what’s it like to be me? Ask yourself, ‘What’s it like to be me?’ The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself that’s where home is.” Bill Murray in Rolling Stone interview

http://thenewdaily.com.au/entertainment/2014/11/06/bill-murray-worlds-regular-guy/

We can’t change our actual age, be we can certainly change the way we approach it.

I challenge destiny every day of my life.

I also challenge beliefs [my own included], tackle misconceptions, and don’t let life roll over me.

It will if you let it.

Remember, life is a food chain and you are dinner unless you matter more alive.

How Success Changes Middle Aged Men

Male Grooming Arnold Ferrier Photo Bill Morton

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2893083/Would-let-husband-shave-chest-growing-trend-middle-aged-men-wives-say.html

As you will note in the article [above], chest shaving has become commonplace.

It’s also one of many manifestations of what many middle-aged men do once they have achieved a considerable measure of success.

Without that one element [success], there is no rationale for self-idolatry.

~~~

I know this guy in the restaurant business.

When he started out, it was all humility; dressing down, shaking hands, strung out in the quest for relevance.

Then over time and a lot of hard work, his efforts paid off.

He became the proud co-owner of a successful string of hip urban bistro’s with lots of national notice.

Eventually, like others of new-found success, he upgraded his car, his home…his lifestyle.

But something else happened as well: He changed his appearance. All of it.

His once thin frame now boasts long, lean muscle wrapped in a bronze glaze.

His chest, arms, back and legs are completely shaven.

His clothing went from $16 Haynes 100% cotton Tees to $180 John Varvatos V-Neck Jersey Knits.

His Timex “Ironman” was replaced with an assortment of bracelets of various materials and designs; the accouterments of celebrities, rock stars…and wealthy older men who don’t have to care what you think of them, which is how you know they’ve “arrived.”

Gone are the days of the obligatory handshake with a smile.

That’s also been upgraded to a certain vibe of self-righteous aloofness suggestive of someone who now resents how much ass they had to kiss to get to where they are, and now its payback time.

~~~

Without success, older men fade.

They don’t have the fuel to propel change.

In this sense, success is like a transfusion.

While average people adapt to circumstances and resign themselves to an average existence, successful tend to men stand out in crowds.

Even those who practice humility cannot hide the lining of confidence that follows them wherever they go.

In a way, they’re like beacons of hope in an otherwise paralyzing existential nightmare.

And people wonder why The Kardashians are America’s first family.

“Midlife Crisis” Applies to Both Genders

When I was 28 I ran into a guy at my gym who happened to be 33, which, at the time, I considered “old.”

Then I did the math and that very afternoon had my first midlife crisis.

Back then older men were out of shape, heavy drinkers, Viceroy smokers…and resigned to life’s inevitable destiny, which was usually just around the corner.

Then as I got older I noticed that the boundaries became a lot more flexible.

~~~

First identified by Elliot Jacques in 1965 – around the time The Beatles were in the studio working on “Rubber Soul” – the term “midlife crisis” became widely known after it began to be used by Freudian psychologists.

Among them was Carl Jung, who considered it a normal part of adult maturation — the time during which people “took stock of themselves.”

In other words, “What have I done with my life? And furthermore, “Is it enough to pave the way for reasonably healthy self-esteem?”

Jung placed this period in life midway between adulthood and the end of life, which today is anybody’s guess.

Then Erik Erikson, the theorist known for creating the “8 Stages of Development,” explained it as a transition during the stage he called “middle adulthood.”

As I see it, it’s a kind of Post-Modern Renaissance where things like depression, anxiety, and increased alcohol and drug use lead to relief through psychotherapy and medication.

But distraction is not the same as, so many focus their attention on things like hookers and Vicodin that don’t remind them of where they actually are.

But there is a lot of debate these days over whether this crisis is biologically or environmentally based, some believing it is primarily triggered by signs of physical aging [i.e., feeling trapped in a body they no longer recognize], loss of potency for men, and a crappy investment portfolio.

In my view, it’s a little of both.

1] We live longer, so we have more time to contemplate reality, which everyone agrees is a bad idea when you’re no longer 25.

2] We expect to be happier than we should be for middle aged adults, so we spend an inordinate amount of time looking for it.

No one is happier at middle age than we are as young men and women no matter what we tell ourselves.

No wonder everyone is always talking about the virtues of acceptance.

If that makes you happy, great.

Life gives and takes in equal measure. Get used to it.

3] The changing gender roles left men and women financially co-dependent, so while women are today just as likely to have extramarital affairs, buy sports cars and act like juvenile delinquents, we see that the divorce rates are dropping because it isn’t worth the financial hit.

Better to keep the 7-figure house and country club membership than go back to apartment living.

So now who’s “midlife crisis” is it?

We’re both in an emerging maturity crisis and it’s not pretty.

NOTES

Midlife crisis is a term first coined by Elliott Jaques referring to a critical phase in human development during the forties to early sixties, based on the character of change points, or periods of transition. The period is said to vary among individuals and between men and women. Despite popular perception of this phenomenon, empirical research has failed to show that the midlife crisis is a universal experience, or even a real condition at all.

Erik Erikson’s 8 Stages of Development:

How it manifests in men and women:

Men I know revisit their childhoods with 1000 times the cash and only a modicum of additional maturity. They buy houses and cars, take lots of vacations, have their bodies waxed and sculpted, and purchase Filipino prostitutes on the Internet hoping they will love them for who they are.

Older women bond with other single women through travel, book clubs and social events.

Clearly, they are better at acceptance than are men, and, at this writing, usually inherit their estates.

Rebirth Underway for Baby Boomers!

Dan Housey, 58, in New Orleans

This site has become a beacon for Baby Boomers who work hard, play hard and live right.

Winners, all of them.

Images like this one sent to me yesterday make all the hard work we do around here worth the effort.

Onward!

Congratulations, Dan!

Note: Feel free to share this on social media.

On Health and Fitness, Boomers Enter Uncharted Waters [music to the ears of our physicians]

When you’re 21, nobody tells you what you can, or can’t – or, probably shouldn’t – do.

At 60, nobody has the vaguest idea.

~~~

Upon the referral of a medical acquaintance at my health club, I went in to see a new Internist.

By the way, I already have a couple of internists, but I figure 3 is better than 2 and so on.

“He’ll take good care of you” I was assured.

In other words, he was someone who would understand my situation.

In the parlance of older men like me, understanding my situation roughly translates, “Understanding the psychopathology of older men living life like there’s no tomorrow, because, as a practical matter, there isn’t.”

Obviously, this is not literal. But in the context of what men think of “living,” a few years down the road is the opposite.

It’s really kind of Buddhist, but since we don’t live like Buddhists the allusion only works at cocktail functions after about two hours of drinking and fudging accomplishments.

Back to the Internist, I enter the plush setting situated at ground zero of an uber-expensive zip code, and am handed a few pages to sign that have everything to do with money and nothing whatsoever to do with health.

“I _______ agree to pay Internist $500/Hour for consultation, or prorated increments thereof.”

Furthermore, “I_______ understand that insurance is not accepted, except in the case of blood work, in which case insurer shall cover the cost of such services.”

Okay, so I wanted personalized service from a new Internist who would be available to me on an as-needed basis, still unfortunately this would still be at the $500/hour rate.

In many cases, you pay an annual fee for “concierge service,” but this takes it to the next level.

Most people would take one look at this paperwork and walk out the door. But to guys like me who want medical care and advice the way we want prompt room service, we pay through the teeth for it.

After a conversation about life, love and the pursuit of immortality, my bill for the visit was $645, which after all did include the drawing of blood.

I used a Visa, btw.

All of this brings me to my point, which is older men have no idea what to do – or, for that matter, what to expect – where optimal health and fitness are concerned.

The reason for this is that there are no established baselines, which is precisely because there has never been a generation like this one in the history of mankind.

1] We live longer than ever before, so, like, what the hell are we going to do with all the time?

2] We expect more from life – and our bodies – since we’re going to be around a while.

3] Many of us can afford better service, and since we’re no longer 25, we won’t sit in the back of the bus anymore [something not lost on those who send us bills].

4] Many of us are divorced and dating women half our age, which throws a whole new level of confusion into the mix.

5] Mid Life Crisis is something most driven, successful men experience at 10 times the rate of men who are happy with an outdoor grill and wife who loves them for who they are.

So like I said, no baselines.

If I walk into a gym and start to feeling fatigued after 30 minutes of cardio, is it because I’m old, or that I’m on the verge of a stroke?

Do I need to push my body harder so that I can handle more physical stress, or am I already at my threshold?

If I were 18 my high school coach would throw me against a wall for hurling in the middle of practice.

Now they dial 911.

If my blood work looks good, am I green-lighted to workout like I did in college, or is blood work coupled with age mitigating?

I have no idea, frankly.

This is one reason I pay so much for medical advice.

When I was young people like me didn’t exist.

Now we’re everywhere and none of us have the vaguest idea how to navigate this new terrain.

Some guys try hormone replacement.

Others visit plastic surgeons.

A wealthy few try stem cell therapy.

The rest rely on psychiatrists.

But we all understand that the party won’t go on forever no matter what we do, which never stops us from trying.

December 2024
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