What Do Successful Men Over 60 Really, Really Want in a Mate?

Pretty much everything.

There is a certain aesthetic to which women who date – or aspire to date – successful men adhere. It is very specific.

Adjectives used to describe the look are as follows: “Long, lean, timeless and elegant.”

Think Else Hose:

In order to achieve this look you must first be structurally proportionate and blessed with high cheek bones and solid jawline.

Then you have to diet, which looks a lot like that of Jennifer Lopez when she’s touring.

So 1350 total calories per day. All organic, non-GMO, gluten-free blah blah blah, plus exercise.

So, #1 is appearance.

If you want a rich man, you have to put in the work.

Think of it as a job interview [because it is a job interview] where your new prospective employer has a list of line items you have to meet in order to get a new Mercedes.

#2 is proper grammar.

If you haven’t mastered the Queens English, you have no business at galas and cocktail functions. In bed, you can go back to the streets.

#3 is attire.

You should already know the name of every clothing designer on the planet because he’ll expect you to dress the part after you’ve burned up his credit cards.

#4 Sexual fluidity with a certain uncontrollable darkness, or dark side as it’s often referred.

What this means is that there has to be something about you that he cannot completely conquer, which keeps him off guard and curious.

#5 is interests, as in, you have to have some beyond him or he will assume you have less value than he thought you did after he checked off the last 4 items.

Successful men want reflections of themselves in the women in their lives, so imagine yourself a successful, powerful man in thigh-highs and you’re on the right track.

Russian Model Sues Sugar Daddy: Surprise, Surprise.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4119928/Russian-model-sues-married-real-estate-developer-kicked-not-sleeping-him.html

Here in Houston, Texas, this is so commonplace it rarely makes the news.

Suffice to say, men are idiots, otherwise known as “Soft Targets” [see: Urban Dystrophy, Amazon].

Many middle age men have never dated anyone other than a college classmate with whom they went on to marry and procreate.

Family vacations, aging and existential angst caught up to them and suddenly they’re divorced – or in and out of divorce court.

The money and power and sense of entitlement catch up to them and they want out, but to get out they have to play a game they’re ill-equipped for.

The women in their sites are everything they’ve always wanted, on the surface.

These women know exactly what that is and leverage it like venom.

Now these idiots are broke, estranged and struggling to pay a therapist.

The hooker is just conducting business, for god’s sake.

Rich Men Choose Younger Women the Way They Choose Automobiles

SAN DIEGO, CA – JULY 23: Actor Harrison Ford and actress Calista Flockhart attend the Premiere of Universal Pictures “Cowboys & Aliens” during Comic-Con 2011 at San Diego Civic Theatre on July 23, 2011 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/marina-margulis/over-hill-step-aside

I’m going to say some things here that are going to seriously piss off a lot of people.

Not that you aren’t used to it by now, but I’m really going in on this one.

Seat belts please…

~~~

The article above from www.yourtango.com appeared earlier this year, but brings up certain realities that mirror my own world.

It was penned by a matchmaker who refuses to handle female clients because, as she puts it, “successful older men prefer to date younger women is because THEY CAN.”

“In this tough singles market, if a man pays top dollar for a matchmaker, he expects nothing less than a 29-year-old model.”

And since women are attracted to confidence and power, they embrace older men who are in possession of both…in abundance.

This is not to say that some younger men aren’t filthy rich.

But if a woman is also looking for security, get in line.

Odds are young men have youth and beauty and nothing more, which is why they don’t need matchmakers. They need bodyguards.

Around Houston, it’s commonplace to see drop-dead beautiful young women in the arms of wealthy older men.

In fact, it’s kind of weird not to, unless the couple have been together a long time and she still looks great courtesy of surgeons and cash.

Is any of this fair? In a certain sense, no.

But in the context of commodities in a world of demand and supply, it’s as fair as it gets.

SNAPSHOT

One guy I know has a list of attributes all women he dates must be in possession of…or the “relationship” will last about an hour.

1] Straight white teeth and healthy gums.

2] Clear complexion.

3] Height/weight proportionate [like a fitness model].

4] Fit [like a fitness model].

5] Breasts and butt perky and proportionate [like a fitness model].

6] Stylish

7] Articulate

8] Sexy

9] Funny

10] Trustworthy

Now, as everyone knows, this woman does no exist. So what many men do is divvy up the attributes to see if whatever is missing can be improved upon.

For example, if a given candidate is small chested, breast augmentation is a slam dunk.

If she needs a little toning up, a personal trainer can get right on that.

If her teeth aren’t perfectly straight – or white – there’s a cosmetic dentist on every street corner.

But not everything can be fixed, so he throws the dice and hope she changes.

But most men of true means don’t have to hope for change because they can afford to purchase love like Gucci handbags.

It’s the guys who don’t have quite enough juice to keep the dice from bouncing of the walls every which way who sleep with one eye open.

Understand that the more money and power a man has, the more line items he can check.

As for these young women, did you know that most Americans haven’t been to Rome?

I know. It’s hard to believe.

The same applies to Aspen, Monaco, Paris and the Amalfi Coast.

Did you know that most young women do not own a Hermes handbag?

I’m serious!

So let’s say you’re a 29-year-old woman with looks to burn for the next 3 or 4 years, in a dead-end job, and dating a hot guy who’s sleeping with your best friend, but only when he’s on furlough from prison?

The guy is a derelict. He’s going nowhere but down, and you with him.

Enter a 55-year-old investment banker with class and charm and wit – and yes, money – and the derelict is a very distant memory.

These older men know their positions in the human food chain. They know what they can and cannot do, can and cannot have, and the women are no different.

In the absence of a prominent background and trust fund, the culturally average woman must leverage what she does have in order to acquire what she otherwise never will.

This does not mean that young women who choose to date older men are in it purely for the money. In fact, many fall deeply in love with their daddies.

This is the ideal scenario and it’s more common than you might imagine.

Remember the old expression: “Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears.”

So what happens to divorced women in their mid-40’s with kids and a heavy mortgage?

SCREWED.

What rich, powerful, handsome 45-year old guy wants a 45-year-old woman with kids?

He wants a 25-year-old fitness model with no kids and a penchant for travel.

The matchmaker offers these three alternatives:

1] Find a matchmaker who accepts women as clients

2] Join hobby groups

3] Get out of the house

I’ll add three more:

1] Get in the best shape of your life.

2] Make damn sure your teeth are straight and white

3] Find the best plastic surgeon in town for the necessary maintenance.

FINAL REMARKS

As I have said a millions times before, wealthy older women can always hire houseboys.

In fact, I have noticed an extraordinary rise in older women/younger men couplings due to lackluster economic conditions over the past 8 years.

When you Hit Your 60’s, You Have to be Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough…

Researchers at University College London found a direct link between major health problems like heart disease, strokes and diabetes, and the amount of exercise done.

Those who regularly undertook moderate or vigorous physical activity at least once a week were much more likely to be “healthy agers” than those who remained inactive.

People who became physically active during the eight-year monitoring period were three times more likely to be healthy agers than those who remained inactive.

And those who engaged in regular physical activity for the whole eight years were seven times more likely to be healthy than those who did no exercise.

The authors wrote: “Sustained physical activity was prospectively associated with improved healthy ageing – absence of disease, freedom from disability, high cognitive and physical functioning, good mental health.

“Significant health benefits were even seen among participants who became physically active relatively late in life.

“The results support public health initiatives designed to engage older adults in physical activity.”

………………

This week in the gym was a tough one for me.

I officially entered my 60’s last week and I didn’t take it well.

We stayed home, cooked, huddled together with the dogs and cats and waited for the 24 hour period to pass.

This was not the me I used to know.

That person would raise a middle finger to the wind and pull a gym PR.

This time it was different.

I felt depressed, vulnerable and perilously introspective.

Some call it rumination, a synonym for clinical depression in my book.

Instead of getting over it, I tried to walk through it.

The first day in the gym I suffered a nose bleed in the middle of my dead-lifts.

That blew my day because the bleeding wouldn’t stop.

The next day in the gym I suffered a a bout of hypoglycemia, which made me nauseous, forcing me to leave the gym to eat.

Then I started feeling these out of body experiences, coupled with extreme fatigue.

Yep, I was officially old and falling apart.

Life had it talons in me and I was completely and utterly fucked.

So I called my therapist who then told me that what I was experiencing was a late stage midlife crisis.

I’m beyond midlife by 15 years.

I think of it now as a late 3rd quarter reckoning.

I needed more facts to get through this, but I needed more hardcore facts to get through this so I called my Internist.

Blood work good. Arteries clear.

So what the hell was it?

I booked a 90 minute massage, talked to my girlfriend [who assumed I was losing my mind], then finally had a heart-to-heart with myself.

My nosebleed was caused by a strong anti-inflammatory that I happened to take the morning of a tough workout. Not advisable according to my physician it thins the blood, which can lead to nosebleeds under the pressure of heavy weights.

Note to self: If you want to take this drug, do so after a workout when blood pressure isn’t through the roof [with 450 pounds or more in my hands].

Done. No more nosebleeds.

Blood glucose levels fall when people like me don’t eat enough.

Was I not eating enough?

Not even close.

Subconsciously I have been cutting calories because I prefer to be extremely lean.

But it’s impossible to achieve the look I would like without the help of anabolic steroids, which I don’t take.

So I started concentrating on eating more, eating better, fueling my body in a very conscious and proactive way.

Suddenly, no more blood sugar crashes, fatigue gone, and I felt like myself again.

Funny how that works.

I bring all this up because a lot of things happen below the surface in men like me who feel like adolescents in the bodies of older men.

We’re forced to grow up again and again.

And that’s okay because constant maturity has never been a strong-suit of mine, and reality checks are just part of what keeps me going.

As most people know at this stage of the game, denial is the mother of misery.

Wealthy Men Claim Cheating Makes Them Better Lovers

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4026718/Group-wealthy-men-claim-CHEATING-spouses-attractive-sugar-babies-attentive-husbands.html

This is a mostly ridiculous piece of filler tripe that panders to the free love narrative.

“It’s all good as long as you come home at night…at some point.”

This is crap.

Relationships are usually tugs of wars that, in the end, are far more fulfilling than they are anything else.

This is a good thing.

People who get bored with their spouses and decide that the best remedy is an affair are digressing back to the model of eroticism being the pinnacle of sexual achievement.

It is not anymore than a bump of heroin is the pinnacle of responsible decision making while in the throes of a depressive episode.

Men who take lovers – and vice versa – are escaping the hard work of relationship building, and they do take work like anything else worthwhile in life.

Short cuts always implode no matter how good the sex happened to be.

And while that memory may awaken something in an otherwise dormant relationship, it’s just the fantasy talking.

No one is better in bed, just more enthusiastic courtesy of a fleeting encounter.

And if anyone thinks their significant other doesn’t question the sudden change in mood, they’re delusional.

In short, affairs do nothing but bleed the life out of relationships no matter what your dick has to say about it.

How Does Billy Bob Thornton, 61, Do It?

Baby Boomer, Billy Bob Thornton, was born in Hot Springs, Arkansas on August 4, 1955. He is an American actor, filmmaker, singer, songwriter, and musician.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3757208/Why-beauties-fall-Hollywood-s-unlikely-lothario-Billy-Bob-Thornton-charmed-Angelina-Jolie-Amber-Heard.html

In the above article you’ll read all about how Billy Bob managed to nail so many beautiful young women.

But as I have always said, women don’t see a whole lot with their eyes unless it involves themselves or other women.

This is because women for the most part are drawn to the darker mysteries of intellect, power, success and surrender – usually in that order.

I know. Shocker.

Why Rich Older Guys Can’t Find the “Right” Women

The reasons men of means have difficulty finding true love has everything to do with them, and nothing whatsoever to do with the relative health of their investment portfolios.

~~~

The following is a conversation between yours truly and one of these men.

By the time you’re half way through it, you’ll understand the dilemma.

“John” is a nom de plume.

JOHN

“I just met this woman who is perfect! Perfect body, nice skin, teeth…and she has a perfect ass. A little flat on top, but I can fix that.”

“Where did you meet her?

JOHN

At a really nice steakhouse. She was at the bar having drinks with a girlfriend.

Is she from here?

JOHN

I think so. She’s in school.

How old is she?

JOHN

So she’s getting a graduate degree or something?

JOHN

I don’t know all of that, but she is really into fitness and wants to workout with me at the club.

I’m sure she does. What does she do for a living? Does she have a job?

JOHN

Yea, she’s in medical sales or something like that. She’s really smart.

I bet.

~~~

So this is how it all starts.

There’s a checklist that runs in the blood.

You’ll notice the same list in 22-year-old men who don’t have resources and children that must withstand their poor life choices.

Such men can ebb and flow with the tides, relatively unscathed.

But when an older man of means gets caught up in what feels like a rip current, it can drag his entire life straight to hell before he has time to repair the damage.

The point is older men of means have a tendency to forget their age and financial station relative to the women they choose to date.

In their minds, they’re still at Stanford, and the women are on a field in front of them carrying lacrosse rackets.

This is the delusion that settles in like virus and hides out in their spinal columns for the duration of their lives.

It’s incurable, but it can be contained.

Unfortunately, containing it is akin to death to many, so it just does what the hell it wants until there’s nothing left to do.

I can’t tell an older man that his choices are ass-backwards. He doesn’t want to hear it.

What he wants to hear is that a beautiful young woman of unknown origin and lifestyle will love him for who he is.

He wants it to all the be same way things were 30 years ago.

This is the psychopathology.

This is also why these men rarely – if ever – find the “right” women.

They don’t exist anymore than the person they were 30 years ago exists.

Now they’re standing at a steakhouse bar in the middle of a massive metropolis, hallucinating.

And who takes advantage of their hallucinations?

You guessed it.

5 Bullet Points of Note

1] Never choose a woman based solely upon her appearance thinking you can fix the rest of it. In her mind, the rest is not broken. You are.

2] If a woman in a steakhouse says she’s in school at 33, she is in class where you’re standing.

3] Your fantasies are public knowledge, which means that the women you meet have your number.

4] Line items are fine, but not particularly practical.

5] Imagine your world without money and then place that template over the women in your sights.

Inter-Generational Relationships Are Challenging Like All Other Relationships […with a few exceptions]

So let’s say you’re an attractive 30-year-old woman who’s fallen for a man of 60.

While it may provide shelter from the storm of corporate climbing and adolescent pack animals, it’s not all roses.

There are inherent risks, difficulties, and pitfalls that may prove impossible to overcome.

But most women I know who find themselves in such relationships know exactly what they’re getting themselves into, and won’t leave without a severance package or SWAT standoff.

Generational Divide

An older man may find himself in the position of surrogate parent if the younger woman is substantially younger, or the man is more traditional and/or less fluid in his approach to life.

If, for example, he spent his entire career surrounded by corporate types, adhering to stodgy cultural norms, his ability to communicate with a creative Millennial, for example, may prove impossible.

On the other hand, if he’s lead guitarist for a major rock group or an A-list actor, she’ll assume the role of surrogate parent.

Strong, Powerful Men Didn’t Get to Where They Are by Accident

Older men may have mellowed somewhat with age and maturity, but this mild-mannered guy is only a cover for a ruthless and aggressive nature that got them to where they are in life. In other words, the nice house didn’t happen without a fight.

This usually means that as long as everything is going well, you get the cool older guy. But the moment the shit hits the skids, you get a first hand look at human predation from the perspective of prey. Men will defend and protect their financial interests and prosperity over all else in their lives, including you.

Of course, gorillas do the same damn thing, so it’s not exactly news.

Taming and Older Man is a Ludicrous Pursuit

Why women like to fix older men is beyond me. I can understand trying to get a 25-year-old guy to get out of bed in the mornings, and to get a life. But older men have been there, and at this stage of the game don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about their lifestyle habits.

He’s already self-sufficient. He doesn’t need you to pave the way forward. You can’t cut him off from his friends, or interests, or in any way undermine his life. It’s already worked for him. His entire psychological framework is built around decades of experience. Give it up.

If You’re Seeing a Married Man, Love Isn’t Enough to Shake the Tree

The married guys I know with “women-on-the-side” like the no-strings-attached erotic sex, even the fantasy that love plays a major role in all of it. But understand that it’s still fantasy. All of it. Your best bet is to find a recently divorced older man of affluence, or just go the married route in exchange for college tuition and be done with it. Graduate programs run 50k. Get real.

The Sexual Equation

No matter how successful and older man is he cannot reverse the aging process. Understand that as you turn a year older he turns 7 years older [after a certain point in life]. So if you want to build a long-lasting relationship with him, you better make damn sure your sexual rhythms and desires are on the same page.

While adventure and passion are still very much on the table, things will eventually change.

Of course, it’s also important to keep in mind that a young man will eventually get bored with you, especially after he’s achieved success in his 40’s, and will often replace you with someone half your age that he won’t be bored with. It’s a cycle that tends to repeat itself a few go-rounds in life.

Parental Issues

In my case, the woman in my life’s parents refused to speak to me for the first 3 years of our relationships, assuming that I was buying her love, and at the same time, stealing her youth and opportunity.

Thankfully, it passed and we now have a wonderful relationship. But it was awkward. Be prepared for that.

Completely Different Entertainment Preferences

In many cases, taste in music is a major marker of significant age differences. In my own relationship, though, our tastes were identical. In fact, she had more Zeppelin albums than I did. Another ironic twist of fate was that I was the one going out every night of the week, while she preferred evenings at home watching TV, painting or video editing.

I could argue that she made me grow up, and that all had to do was provide financial stability, love and commitment in exchange for a more adult lifestyle. It was a small price to pay, and probably paid for itself given my wayward leanings.

OVERVIEW

Affluent older men do NOT choose women unless they’re prostitutes. It’s the other way around. This is one of life’s biggest misconceptions about the older man/younger woman paradigm.

This being the case, she will decide whether or not she can handle the difference in age, the disparity between their respective success and power, his intransigence, the sex and whether or not he knows – or gives a crap about – Taylor Swift.

“Love is a Concept Invented by Poor People…” Seeking Arrangement Founder, Brandon Wade

“By encouraging people to find and negotiate an arrangement, we hope to create modern relationships based on open-mindedness, open communication, brutal honesty and transparent expectations.”

“This is the future of dating.” BW

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/25/opinion/seeking-arrangement-ceo-on-love/

Ashley reminds me of someone I once dated, also an entrepreneur.

~~~

Now understand something here: The woman posing with Mr. Wade in the above photo would have no problem waltzing right over his dead body if he weren’t filthy rich.

I don’t mean this in any negative way, but Mr. Wade had to make himself valuable in order to earn visibility, which everyone understands and appreciates.

This revelation set him ablaze with passion to acquire the one asset that would act as a carbon credit for whatever he lacked elsewhere.

Next thing you know, he goes meteoric and declares “love is a concept created by the poor!” before heading off to CNN for an interview.

By the way, a rough translation of his statement is If you don’t have money, no one will love you, which is why poor people created it in the first place.

Okay. Whatever. I get it. We get it. Pretty much all of us, really.

Baby Boomers like myself suffer physical attrition after enough water’s under the bridge.

Fortunately, though, many of us are able to leverage money and power against the cost of aging and manage to stay square with the gods.

Now you know why seekingarrangement.com claims 1.9 million subscribers…and climbing.

On a general note, there is absolutely nothing novel about prostitution.

Whether you couch it as “Hey, I just need a little help with college,” or “Hey, want a blowjob?” you’re still hooking.

Having said this, everything these days is relative.

Just how relative depends on the price tag.

The more you spend, the more normal everything seems.

On a related note, most of the women my peers end up with are passed from one older man to the next within their own immediate peer group.

This is because the women in question are known commodities who’ve been properly vetted, and therefore, predictable within reason.

The downside is that there is often a limited supply of such women within certain demographics, which usually triggers bidding wars resulting in some of the best television fodder on the planet.

Affluent 50 to 60-Something Men Still Choose Beauty First

“…all older women hear (and thus believe) that older men are only looking for much younger women. OK, many of them are. But are they getting them? Not really, unless they’re wealthy and powerful. (And I have always believed that it’s good to identify those men and remove them from the 50-something dating pool ASAP; I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck!”). Vicki Larson, journalist

I hate to tell you people this, but a simple fact can save you a lot of heartache:

Reasonably attractive, healthy and successful older men have lots of choices when it comes to choosing partners.

Too many, in most cases, which is why so many of them are single or serial monogamists, the emphasis on serial.

~~~

When it gets down to it, money and power are the great equalizers.

Conversely, youth and beauty are also commodities openly traded on the human stock exchange.

Whether you’re young or old, you have different assets to barter, but something is always for sale.

Most of the older successful guys I know have an exacting set of standards they apply to the acquired women in their lives.

These are the very same standards, by the way, they applied to their ex-wives before they divorced them 20 years later.

The fact is successful men prefer to date younger women is because THEY CAN.

Generally speaking, women over the age of 17 are not attracted to youth.

They’re attracted to confidence and power.

Therefore when a beautiful woman in her 20s or 30s meets a man who is in his 50s, with the world in the palm of his hands, it’s sexy and alluring to her.

His age becomes irrelevant.

Walk into any upscale restaurant or bar and what you will see are drop-dead gorgeous women accompanying successful older men.

These women were not forced at gunpoint, believe me.

To many men I know, it’s almost irrelevant whether these women are truly in love with them or merely out to make better lives for themselves.

It matters that they are in the company of a beautiful, intelligent and uncomplicated young woman.

The rest they leave to a suspension of disbelief.

She is everything their wives once were before time took its pound of flesh and soul.

No wonder so many middle aged women without much to leverage scream and yell about all of this.

But put them in the position to do what these young women are doing and you wouldn’t hear a peep.

The fact is average men and women receive average returns, and exceptional beauty and youth will always win out where successful older men are concerned.

Is it fair?

No.

But pretending that “real men” don’t want younger women is delusion. That they want an equal is naive at best, disastrous at worst.

According to one NYC matchmaker, this is the normal course of things:

“I recently had a 78-year-old client who wouldn’t even consider a woman older than 50. If you are 25 years old as you are reading this, let me put this in perspective: That would be like dating a 55-year-old.

That brings me to why I can’t take on women as clients; and no, misogyny has nothing to do with it. In this tough singles market, if a man pays top dollar for a matchmaker, he expects nothing less than a 29-year-old model. As a result, I cannot find a husband for a 47-year-old schoolteacher with two kids and three mortgages.”

So where do relatively pretty, average 40-plus women find men of means?

They don’t.

What they can and do find are men of equal value, which is not a particularly palatable prospect for most.

My recommendation to such women:

1] Join a book club.

2] Enroll in a continuing education class at a local college.

3] Attend art openings.

4] Get out of the house – maximize exposure.

5] Go back to therapy.

Nature is neither kind nor compassionate, but the good news is that there are exceptions to every rule.

Just not very many.

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